Non Horse People Stories - Spinoff from "Sigh. … Why? Just … WHY?"

[FjordBCRF]

@Rackonteur post made me think of the comedic instances I have had with non-horsey people, or people who think they are horsey people and are not. Please share yours!

When I got Charlie, my non-horsey friends were all worked up about wanting to meet him. With covid in full swing nothing on that end happened for a while. The first one of the friend group seem sorely disappointed when we took her to the barn and Charlie was in his stall eating his hay. It seemed like she expected much more excitement out of the experience? SO and I still laugh about that as she looked like she was ready to leave as soon as she got there.

Other friends in that group have “offered” me to host them over at that barn…they were taken aback that I was shocked that they even suggested that and answered with something along the lines of “you’re joking right?”. Im sure I had a look of horror on my face as well! I further explained that the barn is not a venue, people pay a lot of money to have their horses there and wouldn’t be real happy if they walked in on half a dozen people drinking and socializing; the BO in particular. They still seemed a bit incredulous. That one still bothers me a bit!

The other one that I will never forget is when the owner of the horses I rode for over a decade, had someone who allegedly could ride come out to ride. She rode the horse I was working with at the time, a very nice OTTB who was certainly no beginners horse, but was pretty reliable and knew his job. You could see the second she started trotting she got off balance and the poor horse was like WTF. He broke into a canter and off she came. The part that killed us was my friends daughter had to be younger than 5 at the time, and very matter of factly told her, “she should have held on better.”

[Night_Flight]

A few years ago, a colleague asked me to drive her to the garage down the road after work so she could pick up her car.

I drive an F-150, so when she got in, she looked around and said “Wow, this is so much vehicle to be driving around”. I replied that it was a bit big for a daily commute vehicle, but that it was great for hauling my horse.

She took a second, looked again around the interior of the truck, and then exclaimed “You can fit a horse in here?!?”

[clanter]

ALL of our non Horse friends just assumed we were idiots to be spending All that money on horses, they just assumed we were blowing money away (actually we used the horses to teach our four kids about how to navigate through life nothing like overcoming a class were you Knew your horse was best but was not even tied… yeah little things but it was manageable as teaching tool) .

Many of those friends owned boats or other expensive upkeep items that sucked money down the drain.

Then fracking came about, a seismic test for natural gas revealed there are three pockets of natural gas and one pool of oil under the horses’ pasture.

We stopped hearing how we were wasting our future on Those Horses

[Spudsmyguy]

The ones that gall me the most are the ones that once they find out you have horses, think you’re going to let them ride as though I owned a dude ranch.

I had one point blank ask me “when am I coming over to ride?” I said never.

[2DogsFarm]

A friend (long gone now, RIP), total CityGuy, grew up in PA, not far from the Devon grounds.
After I moved to my farmette & brought horses home, almost every time we talked he’d ask me again if all they needed to eat was grass & hay.
And was incredulous when I told him yes, that the small helpings of grain I fed weren’t really necessary.
He couldn’t believe an animal so large could live on forage.

Hosting a group of City friends, just a short time after getting my TWH, they all wanted to feed treats. Which was fine, I referee-ed so no fingers were lost.
But a group.photo had them crowded around him so close…
I blessed his good nature

[Scribbler]

Well I know nothing about sail boats or skiing or private planes. I could make all sorts of gaffs if I did anything more than ask questions about such things. However I at least know that one does not invite oneself to use expensive equipment or ski condos and also that I’d be a liability on anyone’s boat.

[pony_grandma]

I have people pull into my drive and ask if they can ride my horses. Strangers. You know they all sat on a horse once or twice. BIG difference between you have ridden and you CAN ride ! Dead giveaway when I ask them that question and they ask what do you mean

[ChocoMare]

@pony_grandma - hence why I put PRIVATE in big bold letters on my giant mailbox / sign post. I just knew I’d get those coming out of the woodwork. -sigh-

[pony_grandma]

Well one driveway stop was a young woman from Germany who was here getting her doctorate and her BF convinced her to stop. they were sightseeing the country roads. She exclaimed I did not expect to see your horses. The quality … she grew up showing high level dressage in Europe. She, her mother and her sister showed every weekend; had one of those large Eurovans and a driver! and a full-time trainer - they pay money prizes at European shows. I had a 4 yr old homebred TB filly we were starting. She was shocked how mature the TB already was at that age - they never started the WBs (in work) that soon. And she had never ridden a TB before, so I invited her to come play with us. She was sooo surprised at the filly’s sensitivity! I took her out for a real Hoosier trail ride at Brown County State Park - to see the huge horseman’s campground. And of course when out on the trail the Hoosier hospitality sharing with people where you are from … I would exclaim ‘we win’ from Germany! She was surprised at the natural beauty and miles of trails and hills and ravines - she was used to the groomed German forests. So sometimes meeting people is meant to be.

[Bebe_Falcon1]

I worked with someone (my indirect manager at the time) who took lessons, and she was always suggesting that she could come exercise my gelding in my absence if she even sensed a whiff of opportunity. I was looking for a part-boarder to help with the cost, but I eventually stopped discussing horses around her as I know she wanted unfettered access but had no intention of helping out with the cost to keep him. Awkward!

Another case of a potential part-boarder, who came out to try my gelding. For whatever reason, gelding had his out the whole time we were grooming and tacking-up. Kid (late high school, early uni) seemed very confident in his riding ability but I could see as soon as he got on he was a complete beginner which wasn’t what I’d had in mind for a possible part-boarder. He also spent the entire time snickering and calling attention to my gelding’s boy parts… another tell-tale sign he hadn’t actually spent much time around horses. It was such an uncomfortable experience I was so relieved when I never heard back from him!

[2DogsFarm]

I worked at a hotel with a very international staff.
One Swiss guy came to where I was boarding with some other coworker friends.
He told me he could ride, so I put him on my TB, on the longe… For all of about 5min.
Yes, he could indeed ride
So we rode (me on my DH’s TWH) & jumped some stuff. Fun to have someone downplay their skill for a change.
Another Guatamalen gal (married to another Swiss guy) had brought her toddler, spoke in Spanish to a Mexican groom there & he was happy to put the kid on a pony.

[sweetsalute]

My sister posted a photo of herself with one of my horses on her facebook. It was captioned with something that made it quite clear the horse was not hers. She had a (never ever ridden a horse) friend comment, being deadly serious, asking when she would get to come ride. Apparently the person kept bugging her for quite some time after that about when she was going to get to ride. My sister of course knows perfectly well that I don’t let people just come ride my horses, and they’re not suitable anyway.

My boyfriend bless him, the first time he saw me ride, suddenly said “wait are you telling the horse what to do” and when I said yes, he said something along the lines of thinking the horse was just doing what it wanted and I was just sitting there He then proceeded to ask if we could turn left, turn right, go sideways, go backwards, faster, slower etc and was quite baffled that I could indeed ask the horse to do just that and it did.

[hybriseris]

Occasionally at work, the subject of horses will come up with my patients. They usually ask what I do with them, something funny like “do you race them?” But my absolute favorite was “do you do like…side saddle?”

[FjordBCRF]

I had a friend of a friend assume that because I had a horse it was a racehorse? I would die to see a fjord in a race, someone would have to dress up like a carrot and run. When I explained non racing riding she was really confused

[shiloh]

You make a great point here. Most people would never dream of asking to borrow boats or condos, etc etc (though I do know a couple of people who totally would) but think nothing of asking to ride or borrow your horse.

I cannot count the people who wanted to come out and ride my horses. The one that sticks out in my mind now is the guy that once he found out my horse was TB wanted to know if he had raced. No? Why not? Did I want to race him? Did I race him against other horses on the trail? Could he race him? Could he ride him in a race? No. No. Hell no. F*** no. And was miffed because I did not go along with his ideas. dude…

[sportyspicepony]

i love this story!!! how random!

[sportyspicepony]

one time awhile ago one of my friends asked me like very tentatively. “do horses… want to be ridden?”

i was like you have no idea the philosophical rabbit hole we could dive into discussing this topic…

[anon40672407]

@sweetsalute

My boyfriend bless him, the first time he saw me ride, suddenly said “wait are you telling the horse what to do”

That’s a funny story!

[Mango20]

My XH, upon getting to know my horses, was really surprised they had individual personalities.

Otherwise, my experiences have been like most others - can I ride them, do you race them, why are they wearing blindfolds?

[attempting]

Oh, fly masks. Every time. Most come from my parents, who are not horsey in the slightest. “Why is the horse blind?” “Don’t horses deal with flies anyway?” My responses to those are usually just that the horse is sensitive to flies, and we want them to be most comfortable, ya know? (Also, that the fly mask is mesh, no they are not blind mom)

Another instance is how most non horse people upon seeing my lease horse will go “Wow, he’s so big! How many feet is he?” Then I have to explain hands and that multiple dressage judges have called him “small paint horse”. He’s 15’2, so he’s really not that big!

Non horsey people are funny. I have had people ask if we do intense stuff or “cool horse things.” He is scared of mud and puddles and trees and cows, so we are not big into intense stuff! I love these stories! They’re great. Keep em’ coming!