Maybe this will fall under “overstepping” - but I’m going to be blunt about it.
There’s a decent chance that the BO did not actually tell you that you’re a horrible horse owner. There’s a decent chance that all the trauma surrounding your accident and disability twisted the memory in your mind, or that the BO said something along the lines of “I didn’t know you couldn’t afford [dentist], nevermind, I’ll take you off the schedule” and because you’re extra sensitive and self conscious about not being able to afford the same things for Chase that you used to, you took that in the worst way possible when the BO did not mean it like that. I know that in times of trauma in my life, I took anything that could be taken poorly, in the worst way possible - you’re not alone there. It’s not an uncommon thing to happen in times of great stress and anxiety, not to mention pain/pain medication/etc.
The fact that the BO has discounted your board for years shows that he/she cares about you, and cares about your horse. Don’t forget that.
And the bottom line is, you’ve got to get over it. You’ve got to do the right thing for your family. If the BO straight said “you’re a terrible person” (which is pretty unlikely) you’ve got to be strong enough to face that again and do what needs to be done here.
I wish you the best. Don’t be defeatist on your health and medicine issues, either. The answer is out there. Surrounding yourself with groups of people who also say “you can’t” is not productive.
