Not riding anymore but don't want to give up horses

[fivestrideline]

Great advice above! But I just want to stress one thing:

If the horse is turned out, there’s no reason he can’t go walk/trot around for half an hour or so once a week. And even canter a bit.

Don’t stress too much about the fitness (unless he’s getting too fat!), do what you want, when you want. Just make sure your saddle stays decently well fitting - a few half pad options or shims can help with that, but I find once you’re in a routine you don’t have to fuss as much.

Liberty work: great! Grooming day? Great! Sit in the sun and watch him graze: great!

[hoopoe]

What a great thread. @The_Horse_Nerd it is OK to do what everyone above points out. You have a wonderful situation, Horse at a home farm. You get to go over and take your child to see their Grandparents; double win

I gave up horses about 10 years ago and honestly what I miss the most is grooming. Touching that special soft area just behind the nose, the smell of a warm horse. a quiet barn on a hot summer day.

It sounds like the active horse life is not in your wheelhouse given your historic anxiety. Thats OK. There is no reason you and your friend cannot mosey around the property when you will. Fitness is not a real issue here except as someone mentioned with saddle fit and calorie match.

Consider being with your horse a meditation. Go for a walk together, Take binoculars and discover birds. Learn about plants and bugs and all the nature on your family farm. Not only will it give you pony time, but you may find your heart and soul very filled.

Most of us envy your position and situation to have your friend at home where you can give attentive and mindful care.

[lenapesadie]

Your serviceably sound horse that’s kept outdoors mostly is perfectly capable of taking you on a weekly pleasure ride.

It’s hard to fight the “culture” that says one must be working their horse to the limit 5 days a week, but just ignore that nonsense.

The horse can be your friend and your pet. Dare I say a member of your family?! People own dogs and never ride them.

I myself have had many extended times where I didn’t ride my horse at all. He’s fine. Like yours, he prefers if I make time to interact with him regularly. Grooming, clicker training or whatever. He seems perfectly delighted if our riding routine is to walk laps around the paddocks. He doesn’t give two flying figs we aren’t “maximizing his potential”.

Enjoy your horse how you want to.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

As someone who suffers with crippling anxiety (so I understand how it feels, and how it can overwhelm you, I just want to offer three perspectives):

1. First, it’s a big step you’ve identified YOU are anxious, and your horses aren’t the problem. This already makes you a good horsewoman. There are people who are anxious who spend YEARS blaming their horses, over-horsing themselves, spending a fortune on training when THEIR ANXIETY is the problem, not the horse. You have ridden appropriate horses, at a level that’s appropriate for you and them. That ALONE is an achievement.

2. On the other hand, my anxiety limits me. I often find myself alienating friends because I want to do something, then pull back at the last moment because I’m so anxious. I’ve lost many opportunities that way. If anxiety is not addressed, your world DOES grow smaller. One day, you say, okay, so I didn’t canter. Then it’s not trotting, not walking, and gradually even ground stuff starts to get scary. I am not there with horses so much, but with other things. So I think it’s important to step outside of your comfort zone and take that once-a-week walk, maybe experiment with a little cantering, so you don’t lose this part of your life. But it doesn’t have to be huge.

3. People have ridden throughout the ages of all levels and abilities. Hundreds of years ago, little old ladies would pack around on donkeys and ponies. It’s only now that people view horses as “sports equipment” and a vehicle to get better and better at a sport. It’s okay just to enjoy horses as horses, but just like being with people, probably you will enjoy them a little bit more if you just stay outside or at the edge of comfort. Just like you don’t have to train for a marathon, but most people do benefit from a walk around the block every day.

[The_Horse_Nerd]

I’ve been playing around with clicker training for a few months now and he is very responsive to it!

He’s on a field for 5-8 hours a day depending on the time of year and where he falls in the turnout rotation. My mom’s mare isn’t a bully but annoys other horses to the point of getting beat up so we rotate turnout. Going into summer, he will likely be out overnight as well. His topline hasn’t changed that much, and he still has a lot of muscle overall.

I guess the fitness thing is largely the result of every trainer I’ve ever worked with over the last several years being of the mindset that you can’t ride your horse until you’ve been lunging them 5 days a week for 2 months… My first mare certainly was not happy with more than two or three rides a week so we kept them to that, and often times just one ride because she was old.

[The_Horse_Nerd]

I could see starting to ride more again in a few years if my son’s interest in horses continues to grow. Thus far, horses are the coolest thing in the world to him. He constantly asks to go see the horses, plays with is toy horses the most, and is always so happy just watching them walk around in the pasture.

I took a break from horses from November, 2020 and March of last year. I was pregnant for most of 2021, but I definitely had the opportunity to get a different perspective and I didn’t like it. I have other hobbies besides horses, and my wallet was certainly hopeful that I would find life without horses fulfilling but I definitely couldn’t handle it. I became very depressed and cynical towards life in addition to my general anxiety. I kept trying more new hobbies in hopes that something would fill that hole, but nothing worked. My husband told me to start looking for a horse last March because he couldn’t handle seeing me like that. Sure enough, time with horses solved it.

[Scribbler]

@The_Horse_Nerd

I’ve been playing around with clicker training for a few months now and he is very responsive to it!

He’s on a field for 5-8 hours a day depending on the time of year and where he falls in the turnout rotation. My mom’s mare isn’t a bully but annoys other horses to the point of getting beat up so we rotate turnout. Going into summer, he will likely be out overnight as well. His topline hasn’t changed that much, and he still has a lot of muscle overall.

I guess the fitness thing is largely the result of every trainer I’ve ever worked with over the last several years being of the mindset that you can’t ride your horse until you’ve been lunging them 5 days a week for 2 months… My first mare certainly was not happy with more than two or three rides a week so we kept them to that, and often times just one ride because she was old.

Like I said, forget the trainers!

Also longeing is really hard on a horse. If you do eventually want to fit up the horse it’s perfectly fine to just start riding longer at the walk and then add in trot sets. Longeing can be useful for a hot or unpredictable or green horse but isn’t good exercise.

[Jackie_Cochran]

I have MS with rapid exhaustion (I can only ride 30 min. at a time), bad balance, bad coordination, and sometimes my emotions get away from me.

Before the pandemic I valued riding 3x a week, for 30 min. each time. I walk A LOT with some trot. Considering I used to trail ride, gallop around big pastures and jump while avoiding the riding rings as much as possible, it is somewhat hard just to be walking around the ring, with a few small trots, just so I feel safe. I’m just glad I had fun on horseback when I was younger.

Walking is good for your horse. It really does not matter how fit the horse is, walking under a rider is just not that challenging to them or their bodies (be sure to keep the horse’s hooves in balance). Just walking also can put some fitness on the horse. Right now at 30 min. a week lesson on a lesson horse who is 25 year old Quarter Horse who right now does not have another rider, he is fit enough to do a WTC lesson for an hour carrying a child when she runs out of beginner lesson horses, since he is out 24/7/365 in the gelding grazing paddock which is big enough so the TBs can have fun gallops when they feel like it.

When I get put up on a horse I’ve never ridden before I tell the horse that I will do everything I can do not to cause the horse pain, especially in their mouth. So far in the last 12 years this has served me very well. Of course when I ride them I have to make sure to take very good care with their mouths. No problems, I’ve ridden over 50 years Forward Seat and once the horses understand me calmness rules in the riding ring.

Finding a decent lesson stable with lesson horses has improved my life, my emotions, and I am getting exercise. Yes, I am bored, but the horses just seem to find that 30 min. once or twice a week carrying me at a walk and trot not to be hard work at all.

I am 71 and I hope to go on riding until the day I die even if all I do is walking. The horses do not seem to mind my lack of ambition at all.

[RMJacobs]

I gave up riding in 2000 because I was hitting the dirt with alarming regularity. I sold my horse and decided I was done. And I was miserable. In late 2002, my husband said we should buy some land and I should learn to drive. We did both those things in early 2003, and got three horses (one pony for me to drive, one horse for my husband to ride, one pony for my daughter to ride).

Well, DH and DD hardly ever rode. I would get on DH’s Paint mare every once in a while to plod around our property at a walk. She was a packer, and would shift under me to help if she felt me going off balance. The two mostly unridden horses didn’t mind a bit. And I drove my Hackney pony mostly just Saturdays and Sundays, because my work schedule didn’t allow otherwise.

After the Hackney started having problems pulling the cart (he was 27 by then), I trained my daughter’s larger pony to drive and again mostly just drove Saturday and Sunday. In the winter, I would sometimes have to go six weeks without taking him out due to bad footing on the road. I would just start slow when we resumed with a lot of walking, and gradually move up to mostly trotting on our drives.

The only one of the three that minded being retired was the Hackney pony. The other two were perfectly happy to hang out. Eventually the Hackney and Paint had to be put down for age related issues, but I was still driving the larger pony. He ultimately developed cataracts and his poor vision resulted in spookiness, so I retired him. He couldn’t have been happier.

That pony spent his last three or four years boarded, and I just spent time grooming him and hanging out with him. He was very happy to be retired and became quite cuddly.

So I agree you can just ride once a week if you want, or not at all if that becomes your preference. I bet your horse won’t mind a bit as long as you keep the food and skritches coming.

Rebecca

[Pippigirl]

@red_mares

She’s still way more into the barn cats though.

Kindred spirits! Barn visits always take me three times longer because of the barn kitties

[Pippigirl]

Have you ever looked into long lining? Not quite like lunging but if you become talented at it you can move all over the place in a ring in a walk, trot and canter. You’re not stuck to a circle so much. You could still work on keeping a contact, bending, lateral work, collection, extensions… I don’t know how to do it but I’ve seen videos and it looks really neat! You could also ground drive. It looks like basically doing everything except riding the horse.

So, you and the horse can both walk a lot (ground driving) or have the horse moving and grooving (long lining).

[Mohan]

I know I’m late to this party but your post didn’t address anything in the OP.

You find value in watching your horses compete with someone else. The OP is struggling with justifying the expenses doing that or having a lawn ornament.

It really doesn’t matter how financially stable a person is when it comes to justifying costs.

It’s really hard to deal with fear but not want to sell or lease. It’s even harder if you are a frugal sort.

For you it’s worth it. Obviously for the OP that’s the struggle.

OP, in your situation I would try to find a lease or just a kid needing saddle time as maybe that will help your fear. I totally get it as fear wasn’t keeping me from riding but my job is. I decided to sell. Granted I have people who will let me ride when I want, but it was still a very hard decision.

[danhelm441]

@clanter

we have one dog that has been trained in scent work by a FEMA dog handler, while working with her we noticed one of horses had great interest in what was gong on…later learned that horses can be taught Air Scenting… and this horse became very good in scent work

https://airscentinghorse.com/home.htm#:~:text=Air%20Scenting%20is%20a%20search,family%20riding%20or%20show%20horse

Wow, that’s kind of amazing! So the hounds in drag hunts just might be redundant.

[RhythmNCruise]

I haven’t read all of the replies, but I see no issue with keeping a horse and not riding. Before selling my farm after my two old fellas were laid to rest (not at the same time), my remaining gelding hadn’t been ridden in probably three YEARS when I sold the farm and moved to a boarding barn. I started riding again then, and still do today (it’s been 3.5 years since I sold the farm). I never considered selling him or my two old fellas. They’re all “lifers” who I knew would stay with me until they crossed the rainbow bridge. With two of them safely laid to rest, I just didn’t need the farm anymore and had a buyer, so I sold out, moved to town, found a boarding barn, and got back INTO riding, LOL.

That said, if something should happen tomorrow that either made me no longer want to ride or my horse no longer want to be ridden (I mean…I’m pretty sure he’s on board with the “no riding” thing if I choose, LOL), I wouldn’t sell him. He’s family. And he actually lives with a mare who is family to her owner. She’s retired early due to back issues, but she’s living her best life, being pampered and loved…just no riding. I’d do the same with my guy.

And I only ride when I want and how I want for as long as I want. I stopped showing years ago (did it for a loooong time), and I have nothing to prove to anyone. I like getting on and rambling around the farm and through the woods, etc. And I like grooming, hand-grazing, doing groundwork, and sometimes just sitting in a chair in the pasture watching him graze.
I say he’s my last. He’s 15 now and I’ll be 50 next year. I’m hoping he lasts another 15 years. I don’t see me getting a new horse at age 65. And I know his last years will be non-riding years. But that’s fine by me. He’s going to leave this world loved until the very end if I can help it. And I’ll take up knitting or something, lol.