Okay, I just saw THE WORST Horse movie EVER!

[2DogsFarm]

Lightning The White Stallion
Circa 1986 - so riding on the coattails of The Black Stallion? - even has Mickey Rooney in a very minor role.
Oh.Em.GEEEEE! :disgust:

IMDB has reviews that say it all - including one suggesting a Drinking Game using mistakes in continuity.
Of which there were many.
Example:
*In grainy footage of some indoor competition a chestnut horse on course first has 1 sock, then none, then 3 :nonchalance:
*Lead actress leads out one gray horse with a longish white tail, then rides away on another… with a docked gray tail.
*In a jumping lesson horse changes at least 3 times from one gray to another - breeds look totally different - QH? TB? or ???
WhutTheWhut!?!?

Add in a plot that is so lame & that wanders off in so many directions:
Horse was stolen from rich owner (Rooney), retaken by cartoonish thugs, then they disappear.
Stepfather butts heads with stepdaughter, then with one poutyface from Mom, does a 180.
Lead actress - stepdaughter - is going blind - that one goes absolutely nowhere.
Kid she is dating is one reason for StepD’s disapproval, but that gets shuffled off too.
Lead wins a local show - her very 1st - , goes directly to State & then Nationals - winning all, of course.

Frosting on the pukecake:
“Trainer” is a laughably poor rider - “enjoy” scenes of her riding & kid jumping - heads snap back, crotches meet pommel…
I counted at least 4 different horses playing Lightning.
Lead sleepwalks through her lines, so badly I wonder what they sedated her with.
Bonus Points for “wardrobe malfunction” where she wears a seethrough shirt w/obvious lack of lingerie.

Has anyone else seen this Marvel of Poor Cinema?
Even w/o the horse stuff, it reeks :ambivalence:

[Libby2563]

I rented that movie so many times when I was a kid! I did notice the frequent and obvious horse changes, and recognized (at least somewhat) that the plot and acting were awful. But I kind of loved it anyway. I think I tried it once in adulthood and found it laughably unwatchable.

Did you notice how Lightning’s mane went from braided to unbraided between shots in the “national championship”?

This old thread indicates you have a lot of company in your bad opinion of Lightning: https://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/forum/discussion-forums/off-course/7106-the-worst-horse-movie-ever

Wasn’t there some story about the horse who played Lightning in the final jumping scene? An eventer? Or am I thinking of something else?

[Jealoushe]

Worst movie? I think not…I LOVE THIS MOVIE :lol: Take it for what it is, a cute horse movie!

The Red Pony on the other hand…oh my god. NEVER WATCH THAT!!! Nightmares.

[Rallycairn]

My titleholder for worst for many years, until supplanted by Wildfire, the Arabian heart.

[Brown_Derby]

OTOH I watched “50-1” this a.m. It’s the story of Mine That Bird and features Calvin playing himself. It was pretty good except for the language (why do they have to do that? it would be otherwise be a pic for all ages). The Derby footage was fantastic.

[emipou]

@2DogsFarm

Lightning The White Stallion
Circa 1986 - so riding on the coattails of The Black Stallion? - even has Mickey Rooney in a very minor role.
Oh.Em.GEEEEE! :disgust:

I thought you were referring to Thunderhead Son of Flicka for a moment and was getting ready to find my boxing gloves!

[caffeinated]

Oh man, a friend and I used to watch Lightning all the time and laugh the whole way through.

I about died laughing when I learned, much later, that Rob Gage was actually a real person and rider, after his cameo in that fine film. I thought they made him up for the movie!

[JFJ]

Definitely the worst horse movie ever! I love Rob Gage’s line, “when you’re as good as me, you don’t need luck!”

[2DogsFarm]

@Jealoushe

Worst movie? I think not…I LOVE THIS MOVIE :lol: Take it for what it is, a cute horse movie!

The Red Pony on the other hand…oh my god. NEVER WATCH THAT!!! Nightmares.

We must differ on the definition of “Cute”. :rolleyes:
Actors sleepwalking through their lines almost put me in a coma.
I think I continued to the bitter end because of the jaw-dropping lack of continuity :dead:
Just when I thought they could NOT get worse…

FWIW, I do like The Red Pony & have read & reread many times.
Saw the movie too, because Robert Mitchum :love-struck:.

SPOILER ALERT!!!*

I cry right along with Jodie when he finds Gabilan dead

@Libby2563 Thanks for the link. Somehow I missed that thread.

I LOVED Into the West & despite the horse in a council flat & movie theater, did not find it at all eyerolly or groanworthy.

[findeight]

Oh, there’s several others fighting for that title. I recall a gosh awful version of My Friend Flicka and at least one Thunderhead movie running Sat afternoons as a kid way back in the late 50s, very early 60s… Even at 9 or 10 years old, both were cheap, slapped together stinkers. We giggled and groaned through them every time they popped up on the old, clunky black and white TV.

[shiloh]

I love the ones where they get the riding clothes mixed up and the tack. The cowboy in the English saddle. The “hunter” with a western saddle on. The jodphurs and western boots and hats. I saw one movie that had the southern belle in a hoop skirt riding astride. I laughed so hard. And there’s always the movies where Grandpa is going to lose the farm where he raises “champion thoroughbreds.” And all the Tbs look like poor old broken down quarter horses or Heinz 57s. And they take Pride O’ Farm to the races and in the stall he’s an old sorrel ranch thing and on the track he’s suddenly a black TB. Huh? That was some Hallmark movie awhile back. What can I say - gag me with a Ginsu.

[ladyj79]

@Libby2563

Wasn’t there some story about the horse who played Lightning in the final jumping scene? An eventer? Or am I thinking of something else?

You are probably thinking of the grey goose footage used in silvester.

​​​​​​Lightening the white stallions is a seminal film in this genre haha I don’t include into the west, but I do love it, and ponies in counsel estates are totally normal haha

[Libby2563]

@ladyj79

You are probably thinking of the grey goose footage used in silvester.

Ah yes, you’re right, thank you! It was bugging me that I couldn’t figure it out…which happens when you search the wrong movie title, LOL.

[Belowthesalt]

Oh gee, that made me remember the scene in “The Commitments” when the kids are waiting for the elevator, holding a horse, and someone remarks on it, and they respond, “Ach, the stairs would kill him.”

Films like Lighting are what they are. What irks me more is “quality” movies that are just plain stupid, like “The Horse Whisperer,” though I guess you could blame the source material. Or “Hidalgo,” where the horse is so spent, he’s going to shoot it, and a few minutes later it jumps to its feet and wins the race (never mind the beefy Paint beating Arabs in an endurance race, or the many-times noted, turning him free with his shoes still on.) Or The Electric Horseman where, all other issues aside, he turns the sterioded, slick coated, pampered TB stallion loose in the wild in the winter. Yeah, you can come back and pick up the bones in the spring, Bob.

[Malda]

Any idea how I can watch this? Now I’m curious.

[ladyj79]

@Malda

Any idea how I can watch this? Now I’m curious.

For 4.99 it can be yours

https://www.amazon.com/Lightning-the-White-Stallion/dp/0792860209

[WNT]

Most of the above reasons are why I generally avoid horse movies. Some of my non-horsey family doesn’t quite understand, but I learned to count continuity failures (particularly in Westerns) from my dad. I’ll nitpick almost any horse movie well past the point where I might enjoy it. Plus, they’re usually just bad. Whinny-overs, horse never matching scene to scene, building up unnecessary drama, I could go on.

[Jealoushe]

@2DogsFarm

We must differ on the definition of “Cute”. :rolleyes:
Actors sleepwalking through their lines almost put me in a coma.
I think I continued to the bitter end because of the jaw-dropping lack of continuity :dead:
Just when I thought they could NOT get worse…

FWIW, I do like The Red Pony & have read & reread many times.
Saw the movie too, because Robert Mitchum :love-struck:.

SPOILER ALERT!!!*

I cry right along with Jodie when he finds Gabilan dead

@Libby2563 Thanks for the link. Somehow I missed that thread.

I LOVED Into the West & despite the horse in a council flat & movie theater, did not find it at all eyerolly or groanworthy.

lol well it was a good Sunday afternoon rainy movie! I love the French girl and her bf fighting the thugs!

So about the Red Pony, was it necessary to have the vultures try and kill the kid too? And how they were going to murder the mare and then when they see her foal they all just look at each other and laugh?? So disturbing!

[findeight]

The movie was adapted from a John Steinbeck work that first appeared in serial form in magazines that the author finished in book form as a novella. His stuff can be depressing and hopeless but adapted very well into depressing movies abou characters in hopeless situations. . Like Grapes of Wrath. It’s supposed to be disturbing.

[sk_pacer]

@Brown Derby

OTOH I watched “50-1” this a.m. It’s the story of Mine That Bird and features Calvin playing himself. It was pretty good except for the language (why do they have to do that? it would be otherwise be a pic for all ages). The Derby footage was fantastic.

Haven’t seen the movie but if the language is foul, at least that is authentic. You really don’t hear people on the track say Gosh. golly gee whiz, you bad horsie, it is more like G*ddamit, you _____ ______!!! Thank heavens there is no censorship on the phones because most of my conversations would be reduced to bleep bleep, and that is with two close women friends…much worse with men,