Older Gelding suddenly obsessed with mare

[tbchick84]

I’ve had my TB gelding for 18 years. Until very recently, he has always been the calmest, coolest cucumber on the block. Other horses would be creating chaos around him, and he’d be standing nearby just watching. Recently, I had to move barns. He initially seemed to be settling in fine as he always has before. One of the mares started calling to him. Within just a few short days, it has blossomed into a bit of a nightmare. He’s now calling back and losing his mind. It they are in sight of each other, she calls to him constantly and he calls back, paces the fence, looks like he might even jump it. I get that it’s a new barn and he’s probably very stressed out from the new routine, losing his old buddies and change in hay. (we’ve kept grain the same for now), but I’m in uncharted waters here. He’s been in paddocks directly next to mares at 3 different barns over the past 18 years and never paid attention to a mare no less lost his marbles over one.

I’m trying to keep his routine as normal as I can, but he’s much further away than he used to be, and I just can’t get up there as much. I have him on a calming supplement but it’s obviously not working. I tried to ride him yesterday, but as soon as I got on, he tried to bolt over to her and continued to be fixated on her even after we were quite a distance away. I’m afraid he’s going to become dangerous under saddle if this continues or hurt himself. I don’t think Lyme is involved here, since he goes right back to his wonderful self once they are out of each other’s sight and she stops calling. He may be developing ulcers, so I’m adding gastrogard to see if it helps. He has Cushings, so I need to factor in drug interactions with Prascend for any chemical assistance.

The mare is in heat, but that’s not going to change, so I can only do what I can for my boy. I’m not a big fan of longing to :“get their energy out” I’m afraid he’ll hurt himself galloping around me on such a small circle. All it seems to do for him is work him up into more of a lather. I’m looking for a geldings only barn, but it’s hard enough to find any suitable/affordable situation in my area anymore no less sex specific. Any recommendations training or chemical would be greatly appreciated.

[Libby2563]

You have my sympathy. My 29-year-old gelding acted that way about a donkey mare a couple years ago, after uneventfully living with and around various different mares over the decades I’ve had him. She did absolutely nothing in particular to invite his attentions. He jumped over/through an electric tape fence to get to her when I tried to separate them, and when the farrier came he wouldn’t stand unless I held her nose to nose with him. It was cute but also completely destructive of the barn equilibrium. Thankfully she was on trial from a rescue and when it didn’t improve within a month or so I was able to send her back, and he went right back to his normal chill self.

Your case is a lot tougher since you board, and I kinda doubt that supplements or just time are going to solve it. I wouldn’t longe either. You might try a free trial of Warwick Schiller’s website and check out his videos on focus and separation anxiety. I wonder if that kind of groundwork could possibly help in this extreme attachment scenario. I’ve used the techniques on my more normally herdbound geldings and they do work for that. I’m curious to see what other advice you get as well.

Photo of my girl-crazy old man getting his pedicure, just because it’s cute (though infuriating at the time):

[Texarkana]

I feel like this is pretty typical for a lot of aged horses. They get extreme separation anxiety; I suspect it stems from the side effects of old age in combination with being a prey animal. Maybe their body isn’t feeling 100%, maybe their eye sight is failing, maybe their mind isn’t as sharp as it once was… but they latch on to their friend(s).

And then with boys, sometimes they forget they lost their jewels years prior.

I don’t have a solution, but I’ve definitely been there.

[Skip_s_Rider]

@Texarkana

I feel like this is pretty typical for a lot of aged horses. They get extreme separation anxiety; I suspect it stems from the side effects of old age in combination with being a prey animal. Maybe their body isn’t feeling 100%, maybe their eye sight is failing, maybe their mind isn’t as sharp as it once was… but they latch on to their friend(s).

And then with boys, sometimes they forget they lost their jewels years prior.

I don’t have a solution, but I’ve definitely been there.

This. My 25-year-old gelding is very attached to my daughter’s gelding. He wasn’t this way in his younger years. He can focus when he’s working away from the other horse with only a little bit of calling at the beginning. He gets very upset, though, when he’s idle and the other horse leaves. I don’t have a fix, but I do understand.

[Snowdenfarm]

I second Warwick Schiller’s program.

[Libby2563]

@Texarkana

I feel like this is pretty typical for a lot of aged horses. They get extreme separation anxiety; I suspect it stems from the side effects of old age in combination with being a prey animal. Maybe their body isn’t feeling 100%, maybe their eye sight is failing, maybe their mind isn’t as sharp as it once was… but they latch on to their friend(s).

So interesting! I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it makes sense. Thankfully my guy isn’t herdbound with my other two geldings and is the only one okay with being left completely alone. He was cut a little late though (at 4), so that could be part of the girl appeal I guess. Granted at this point he hasn’t had parts for a quarter century, but who knows with horses.

[Jackie_Cochran]

My first horse, Anglo-Arab gelding, had been gelded at 5 years old, just before he was started to saddle (not by me.)

EVERYWHERE I pasture boarded he was in a group with various mares. He just acted towards them like they were another sort of boring horse.

I was pasture boarding him, he lived in a 30+acre good pasture in a small herd of geldings and mares. One fine day this really, really cute black Welsh pony mare came to board in his pasture. He was smitten, she was absolutely wonderful in his eyes, and my usually laid back around 15 yr old gelding was, wait for it, IN LOVE with this perfect mare.

He did not try to mount her (the farm owner had a big bay window looking out into his pasture so there were eyes on him), but he tended to be right next to her, as close as she would allow, and any time I took him out of his pasture his head was always swiveling around trying to find his one and only true love, with piercing neighs that shook his whole body. He appointed himself as her guard against the Universe.

Keeping him on contact was, uh, interesting. Any semblance of straightness disappeared when we moved away from his perfect mare.

98% of his attention was on HER when I handled him though he continued to be reasonably obedient to my commands. He would glance at me quickly, obey, then his attention was back on HER.

I chose to be amused by all of this. My perfect (for me) horse had found the love of his life and though he still liked me (nickered when I walked up to catch him in the pasture) he made it obvious that his whole soul was captured by HER.

She left after a few months. The BO told me that when the trailer with her in it drove off my gelding was at the pasture gate calling and calling, and it took him several days to adapt to his cruel fate of losing his one true love.

And then I had my horse back.

[tbchick84]

Thanks for the replies. It sounds like this is at least partially age related. He was slightly better. She was calling from a distance and he didn’t answer. I led him right past her and he didn’t even acknowledge her. It wasn’t the same story on the way back, but any progress is good. I decided, if his behavior stems from being nervous about his new surroundings, I need to be the confident one for him. I hand walked him all over the property and led him over some ground poles in the ring until he was relaxed and tuned in to me. She got his attention a few times, but I’m not thinking this will be dangerous under saddle like I did yesterday. That whole body shake is definitely an uncomfortable feeling.

If it continues to be an issue, I guess we’ll just try another barn. This place is wicked expensive for what you get, so hopefully something that works better for him comes up.

[crackerjack]

When my now 28 yr old was 24 he was in a mixed herd. He had been in a mixed herd previously with no issues. This time however he developed a “relationship” with my friend’s mare. At first it was so sweet. Then May hit and my guess is the hormones were in full bloom. He became obsessive to the point where he’d not let any other herd members near her. If the next door gelding field was at the fence line he’d charge them. He then dumped girlfriend number 1 for girlfriend number 2. We decided it would be for the best when he was chasing the whole field flat out with ears pinned around away from GF 1 and 2. I thought someone was either going to have a heart attack or break a leg.

He got moved to the boys only paddock. We originally thought the hard playing in that field would be too much but after that display he was banished there.

The ladies still love him. They’ll come to the fence line if we walk by and nicker to him when he comes in the barn. I guess some just got it!

In happier times (He’s the lighter bay):

[punchy]

I had a gelding like this once—aloof always around other horses, and then at a small farm one day a mare ‘adopted’ him and he turned into an anxious mess with separation anxiety. It wasn’t age related for him. It stopped when the mare left the farm, thank god, and never happened again.

[Trot_On]

My 11-year-old Morgan/Quarter also became obsessed with a mare after a move. He had never shown any interest in the ladies, despite sharing a fence line in the previous barn. He met the boys in his field and was getting along well until he met the in-heat mare in the next field. She became the sole focus of his existence, and he started to behave like the worst unruly stallion. It was bad enough that he was rearing in hand, both leading and in the stall; but he was also trying to break through the fence.

The BO was understanding and moved “the barn hussy” and her girls away from his fence line and within 2 days he was back to his mild-mannered self, instead of being a 15 hand terror. It took him a couple months to truly adjust to his new barn, but now he is settled and happy. He has bonded with his frat boy gelding herd and ignores the 2 mares in the adjoining field.

Hopefully, as your horse settles in, he will become comfortable with his new friends and not find his next-door neighbor so attractive. I also did a lot of groundwork as my boy was adjusting, and it helped him focus on me. My retired TB gelding developed sleep deprivation at my previous barn. Just before his vet consult, a new mare moved to the farm and he decided he should be her guardian, despite being in the adjoining field. The vet prescribed Prozac for his sleep deprivation. It didn’t do much for his lack of sleep, but he ignored the mare. What cured his sleep deprivation was a change of barns and re uniting with former herd mates. He was flat out blissfully snoring away, the day after moving. Fingers crossed that your boy continues to calm down as he adjusts to his new barn.

[tbchick84]

Ugh, I thought this was all calmed down, but now another mare has gone into heat and he’s lost his marbles again. This is just going to round robin all summer. Vet said to put him on Trazadone. Hopefully it helps. It’s weird. Once I get him far enough away in the back fields, it’s like the magnetic pull disappears and I get my sweet horse back. It must be smell driven. If anyone has any suggestions for a calming supplement that a Cushing’s horse can take, I think anything would be better than keeping him drugged on Trazadone.

[Festivity]

If it’s smell driven you can try putting some Vicks vapor rub in his nose. I’ve heard it used for some stallions showing to help ignore the mares. Might be worth a try.

[beowulf]

I don’t have any suggestions for a calming supplement that a cushings horse can take but you have my sympathy. I deal with some degree of herd separation anxiety every spring when I bring my horses back to work after the winter off.

Best I can say is keep working through it. It will be awful for days on and then suddenly it’s like the clouds broke. It sounds like he’s shaken up by the change in routine and fixating. When he settles he’ll feel more confident and not need a fixation to keep him occupied.

This works for two of my horses but not the other: they get really distracted if the horse is within sight of them. So I work them really hard right there where they keep dragging me to be. And then walk away on a loose rein. For my lazy mare this is the trick to managing her herdbound behavior, not ignoring it or continuing to work in other places. I only need to do this once or twice each leg-up period before she gets the program.

Sounds like your guy might be better away, though. I use the first few weeks back into work to work on cardio only. I don’t bother working on any sort of dressage. They’re annoyed they have to work, I’m annoyed they’re pretending they didn’t just finish the season the best they’ve ever felt - it’s more productive to send them forward for 2-3 minutes at a trot 3x in a session (with 1-2m walk breaks) than try to work on any meaningful dressage work. By the time I ask them to walk they’re too tired to do much. Well, the lazy ones. This doesn’t work for my workaholic TB.

[jvanrens]

@Festivity

If it’s smell driven you can try putting some Vicks vapor rub in his nose. I’ve heard it used for some stallions showing to help ignore the mares. Might be worth a try.

This would be a cheap and relatively easy experiment to try.

[tbchick84]

Another person suggested this too. Definitely worth a try.