Overcoming anxious ammy syndrome

[phosics]

Hi friends!

I’m wondering if any of you have any magic tips on dealing with anxious feelings in your riding life. I’m developed into somewhat of a worrywart in the last couple years and after my return to riding I’ve found that it creeps into that part of my life more than I’d like. My brain always jumps to the what if’s, like what if you fall and get hurt, what if you get taken off with and lose control, what if horses bankrupt you even though you’re being financially responsible, etc.

I think part of these feelings come from the fact that I’ve become very aware of my own mortality and breakable-ness through getting hurt myself and seeing others get hurt. It doesn’t help that I’m returning to riding (finally, yay!) after another shoulder surgery, which has me all in my head at the moment about something happening and undoing all my good progress. I’m also a freshly minted adult, supporting myself fully with a good job and enough income to do the horse thing but struggle to fully enjoy it without worrying if I’m spending too much on horses - even if I am hitting all my other financial goals without strain.

Would love to hear if anyone else deals with the same worry brain and what you do to deal with it or turn it around. I want to enjoy this life while I can, and do the fun things without living in fear!

[Lunabear1988]

I have a similar thread in the dressage forum. Although mine isn’t centered so much about getting hurt more just being good enough/fear of failure. Although I also do sometimes worry about how much money goes to the horses or how much time is spent so I understand there!

If you want to pop over in the dressage forum you might get some good tips from my thread as well.

I’m still actively working on my own anxiety so I won’t really dish out any advice. But you are not alone!

[Scribbler]

If the anxiety is starting to manifest in your life generally then get some counselling. Anxiety can feel justified and normal as it creeps up on you but it’s not. Also recovery from injury or illness can leave you feeling shaky.

So I’d suggest counselling for sorting out your general anxiety issues and then some physical therapy or fitness work to make sure you are overcoming the feelings of being injured. Then you can consider sorts psychology counselling.

Anxiety is insidious and in my experience has little to do with the thing that’s the focus. It’s almost always displaced. Therefore you need to get to the root of it. It’s sometimes an alternative expression of depression, coming from similar sources in the psyche.

It can be about your deepest inner mind thinking you don’t deserve to have fun or will be punished for doing something that you enjoy. Or that you are working so hard at your job that the stress only comes to the surface when you are doing recreational stuff.

[PNWSunnyDay]

I was basically an adult beginner in my mid 30’s (rode very sporadically as a kid but never in a program) and decided to take up Hunter Jumpers. I have dealt with a lot of anxiety regarding coming off and not bouncing. If I get bucked off, my bones don’t bend like the kids’ bones seem to do.

A few things that have helped me:

I try to train my thoughts before I ride. If I get caught up in having ‘worst case scenario’ thoughts I deliberately think and visualize the ride going well before I mount.

If I’m still having intrusive worries I will lunge the horse I’m riding, even if it is the saintly schoolie. It helps me feel connected to the horse and see the mood they are in that day. If you can’t lunge, do 10 minutes of groundwork to check in before riding.

Still on the struggle bus? During times where I moved up in horse and was experiencing severe anxiety (moved up to my trainer’s sensitive OTTB from the schoolie ponies) I had one of the advanced teenage girls ride the horse for 3, maybe 5 minutes. I would stand in the arena and watch. Seeing someone else having a successful ride made it so much easier to visualize ME having a great ride.

I also have less anxiety the more I ride. During times where work is keeping me away from the barn or there are breaks because of weather I have more anxiety compared to summers when I’m riding nearly every day.

Are there specific activities that spike your anxiety?

[DawgLady]

Not sure this will help you, but…

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received for my nerves/anxiety came in a Greg Best clinic. He said, “Don’t think about what could go wrong, think about what you need to do.” I have used that advice SO many times. You really have to concentrate, but move your thoughts away from the negative and force yourself to think through what you need to do.

Example: Instead of “that oxer is huge, he’s going to crash, I’m going to die,” I divert my thoughts to, “I need a forward canter, straightness, contact, and rhythm.”

Good luck to you! Riding as an adult is hard!

[Lusoluv]

^^^ What @DawgLady said. I always tell my riders don’t focus on ‘what ifs’, focus on ‘what to do’. It’s a lot more constructive use of your energy. Also, this isn’t an “ammy syndrome”, so don’t think that riders who show a lot or pros don’t have these same feelings - they do!

[Jealoushe]

Check out this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Ride-Big-Ultimate-Equestrian-Confidence/dp/1646010582

[RJC]

If you’re in your 20s, that can also just be…an anxiety ridden time as you are tackling so much adult stuff for the first time and don’t have a decade of experience that tells you that things will usually turn out fine if you manage them reasonably well.

Prozac, counselling, and experience all help.

[173north]

I have pretty severe anxiety but mostly manage to keep it out of my riding life. For me, riding anxiety is always an extension or overflow of my generalized anxiety. If I’m anxious in my day-to-day life, I will be anxious about riding. If I’m calm in my day-to-day life, I will be calm about riding. I would really suggest treating the overall anxiety with as much gusto as you can manage without worrying about the riding-specific aspects. Therapy, meds, and lifestyle changes really help. Once your nervous system levels out, you will see a difference in your riding and the rest of your life.

When anxiety does show up in a very riding-oriented way for me (new horse, going to a show, training setback), I really like Inside Your Ride by Tonya Johnston. It’s also key that you trust your horse and trust your trainer, and feel that you can be transparent with your trainer about your anxiety/mental state.

[phosics]

Thank you all so much for the thoughtful advice, insight, and recommendations! Obviously I hate that many of us go through this but it is comforting in a way to know I’m not alone.

At the end of the day I really do love riding and horses, and I always have since I was a little kid. The last thing I want is for my own mind to be the thing that holds me back from being happy. I try not to be too hard on myself but I think I also need to toughen up and get a little bolder about trying new “scary” things (new horse, bigger jumps, etc.) instead of taking the easy way out to avoid feeling anxious. It won’t happen over night but I think you all gave me resources worth checking into to work towards that!