Pain Tolerance: How much did that really hurt?

I’ve had quite a few falls - most of them from when I was her age. I always got back up and back on, except for the time I plowed my face into the dirt and had a concussion. I don’t remember crying, but maybe I did - who knows.

Fast forward to adult life…I’ve fallen off 3 times in 2 years. The first was more of an emergency dismount - didn’t hurt anything. The 2nd the horse spooked and I landed flat on my back…bruised my tailbone and possibly had a concussion. Got up, hopped back on to walk around the hopped off. Taught a lesson afterwards and finished my barnwork, mucked 4 stalls. The 3rd time I fell off at a gallop on a trail ride, sprained my ankle. Walked on it ~1mile back to the trailer, untacked horse, put horse on trailer, got horse off trailer, put horse in barn, then went to hospital.

I guess, as other people have said, your pain tolerances changes with age. I don’t know…I think it all depends on the person. I know many adults that blow their pain totally out of proportion.

So I doubt I could reply to each one of you but I’ve read every post word for word. Thank you so very much for all the feedback.

I agree that finding out why she over reacts needs to be on our list. It is so hard walking the line between too soft and too hard. We did wait for her trainer to have us come in and he was fantastic about getting her to still focus on him talking until we could see if the pain receded, worsened, or stayed the same. He got on her horse and had her watch him ride and showed her things he was looking for so that she still got her time with him until we decided what to do. She was calm during that time.

All of your posts do show me that no one should be judged by their reactions to pain, but that we can still help her learn how to react appropriately. IE: If she really was in that much pain she had every right to react to the pain, but she should find a way to be honest with herself about her capabilities.

After careful thought I do believe she really was suffering, but I plan to talk to her about finding a way to cope that shows us what pain she is in. That we won’t judge her for crying or BEING in pain, but that the hysterics will never help.

She was already scheduled to start therapy for something else, but I think I will bring this up later on after she has had a few sessions when her counselor asks me for feedback or anything.

Again, thank you guys for your thoughtful feedback and kind words. She is a great kid and while I realize an internet forum is not the end all be all, I really admire how much the people here try to be an asset to each other.

Regards,

A.

I know that this is going to sound strange, so please bear with me. I’m not a mental health professional. Perhaps your daughter has a phobia, with pain -or the anticipation of pain- as object of the phobia? So it’s not so much the pain itself, as the anxiety and other emotions she builds up around the pain or expected pain, which of course causes her to feel the pain more intensely, creating a vicious cycle. I hope that this makes sense?

[QUOTE=dressagetraks;7758939]

Some people just have a serious pain tolerance. The highest I ever gave somebody was a 7 - that was for 2nd and 3rd degree burns on both hands, 8 fingers. Worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. I gave that answer in an absolutely conversational tone. I was so calm and routine in the waiting room (while silently resisting impulse to slap some people who were going on about emergency sniffles) that when the triage nurse came back out a minute after I’d sat back down and called me back to put me in a hall bed, I heard some people complaining that, “She’s not really hurt.” God bless that nurse, who told me later that there was a 5-hour line. She said, “I can tell how much you’re hurting.” No tears, screams, moans, hysterics, profanity, or anything else in sight.

And while I was in that hall bed waiting for a doc, I could hear somebody in one of the rooms: “I’m DYING!!! I’m DYING!!! (Moan) (Groan) I’m DYING!!!” This went on for my whole 2-hour stay in the ER getting treated. There were people in and out of her room a few times, but none of them had a crash cart with them, and I overheard a couple at the nurses station (I was in the hall, remember) saying, “What a drama queen.”

People differ.

ETA: I remember my riding instructor telling about an ER doc’s reaction to her answer to the pain scale question after a serious injury. She - calmly and conversationally - told him 8. He was fishing a little more for a description of her pain, how it hurt and how she arrived at that number, and she said, “Well, nobody could really be a 10, because at 10, you’d pass out from pain. So you wouldn’t be awake to give that answer. I figure 9, you’re almost passing out from pain. I’m not; it hurts a lot, but I don’t feel like I’m passing out in the next 30 seconds. So I’ll call this an 8.”[/QUOTE]

Ya, you are tougher than me! I had second degree burns on my hand, wrist and foot and I’m going to have to give that an eight. Not for a couple hours–it started out lower, but after waiting for awhile, yes. My only nine was flying on an airplane with a sinus and ear infection and no meds. They had to circle for about an extra half hour changing altitude, because there was some kind of issue at the airport and they couldn’t get clearance to land. I still don’t understand how I didn’t pass out, I remember thinking that at the time and praying I would, because my head was going to explode and I didn’t want to be awake for that. I wasn’t screaming though.

This thread is terrifying. I can’t believe anyone rides horses. We all must be insane. I did come off (flipped over the horse and landed on my back on packed gravel) and had the wind knocked out of me. I actually lunged and rode again, but a few hours later went to urgent care because the pain was pretty bad and my mom was freaking out about internal bleeding (which I didn’t have).

I can see a kid crying initially, because they are scared. I would think after a few minutes that would subside. I got nailed (bit) in the thigh and then calf last winter by a German Shepherd and I teared up right away because it scared the crap out me, and I was scared to take off my pants to look at it, more than because it hurt terribly. Of course I was super embarrassed immediately that I got teary (honestly, it was only like a 4 or 5 on the pain scale). But fear is a powerful thing.

[QUOTE=kdow;7758981]
The worst pain I’ve ever had both times I basically hurt too much to scream. [/QUOTE]

Yup. The worst pain I ever had I really thought I was going to die. I couldn’t have even tried to reach the phone to call 911, and if I’d managed that, no way I could have actually told them anything. In hindsight I now know I was experiencing a pulmonary embolism. Me being an idiot when I did live through it I didn’t bother to go get checked out.

When I had my second one, it wasn’t that bad, though I would have rated it an “8” depending on what position I was in. The ER staff didn’t seem to think I had anything huge going on, when the bloodwork came in it was a whole different story. I saw my chart and paperwork later, and talked to the doctor, who told me flat out they didn’t believe anything was seriously wrong based on my demeanor. At one point they brought the little baby doctors through on rounds and I’m pretty sure they all thought I was one of those fake patients.

When we went to help her up she screamed and basically was in such pain from her hip to her knee that we asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital, we started to be worried she had fractured something.

This sounds a lot like the nerve pain I experienced after a freak fall last October. I didn’t even realize I’d ripped my foot off (ripped the tendons/ligaments/soft tissue, but no broken bones) because all I could feel was the pinched nerves. And if it WAS a nerve issue in your daughter’s case, I can vouch for the fact that it HURTS, and isn’t something that can be seen in an xray. I saw several doctors about my nerve pain before anyone took me seriously (but unfortunately for me I couldn’t have an MRI to find the impingement because I had a bunch of metal holding my ankle together, haha). Physio helped immensely, and I no longer have pain, though I still have no feeling on the outside of my thigh from point of hip to top of kneecap.

Hopefully the screaming was more from fear/shock than from actual pain, ESPECIALLY nerve pain. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy!

I agree on the nerve pain. I have gone through multiple herniated discs and let me say, I’d rather give natural child birth to triplets nightly than go through that again.

[QUOTE=caffeinated;7761561]
Yup. The worst pain I ever had I really thought I was going to die. I couldn’t have even tried to reach the phone to call 911, and if I’d managed that, no way I could have actually told them anything. In hindsight I now know I was experiencing a pulmonary embolism. Me being an idiot when I did live through it I didn’t bother to go get checked out.

When I had my second one, it wasn’t that bad, though I would have rated it an “8” depending on what position I was in. The ER staff didn’t seem to think I had anything huge going on, when the bloodwork came in it was a whole different story. I saw my chart and paperwork later, and talked to the doctor, who told me flat out they didn’t believe anything was seriously wrong based on my demeanor. At one point they brought the little baby doctors through on rounds and I’m pretty sure they all thought I was one of those fake patients.[/QUOTE]

Heh. My mom had the same experience! “You can’t have a PE, you look too good!” One scan later… “You have a PE!!!” (She also has a high pain tolerance/is weird about pain. She broke her leg really badly years ago and hardly wanted any pain meds. A couple of times a nurse would make her use the dispenser thingy so they could be sure she’d be able to sleep comfortably.)