Pain Tolerance: How much did that really hurt?

[AmarachAcres]

Pain is a very personal thing. Most people can never truly know how much pain another person is feeling.

It’s not just that strength, health, age, mental status, etc all change how you perceive pain, but there are the factors of nerve endings, shock, and previous experience.

So here is my question.

My daughter fell off her horse yesterday. He sides stepped, she didn’t, and landed hard on her side. She hit her hip and had the breath knocked out of her. She flipped out when we tried to move her. She said her back was fine so we had her slowly lay flat then helped her stand, tears and agony and loud noises emanated until we had her seated on the mounting block.

She landed on a hard surface from a slow speed off of a 16 hand horse.

Her instructor hopped on her horse so that while she rested he could teach her other things and she watched him and seemed in good spirits (minus random flinching and muttered owes) until he stopped riding.

When we went to help her up she screamed and basically was in such pain from her hip to her knee that we asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital, we started to be worried she had fractured something.

My husband had to carry her to the car and she said the pain was unbearable. Her trainer helped us get her to the car and put her horse away for her.

To make a longer story short, a long ER visit and one X-ray later she walked into school this morning on her own two legs but still sore.

My husband is questioning if she was over reacting to what happened. We don’t mind the ER visit, rather safe that sorry, but she’s very frustrating when it comes to pain. She often reacts the same way to a stepped on toe as she does to a broken arm. It makes figuring out what is wrong very hard.

And when I say the same way, I mean it. She’s had two broken arms and I didn’t even realize she had broken an arm the second time it happened because she had screamed so often in the few months before then for little stuff that it was like the boy who cried wolf.

However, I don’t want to suddenly treat her like her pain isn’t an issue. She has normal reflexes and such.

So from all you horse people, what are your pain reactions to falls? If you hit hard, are you able to hop up right away? Do you scream in pain regardless of anything being broken or not?

Should I even try to get her to understand it makes it hard for us to figure out? Is her behavior normal at all?

I ride, I’ve fallen, but I don’t ever remember creating a scene like this. But I have no doubt her pain was real. Just, does she have no tolerance at all? I don’t think she is doing it on purpose, she seems to just truly have a really low tolerance.

Thoughts? Experiences?

[Bigblackdraft]

Soft tissue or ligament and tendon pain can be more painful than broken bones. How old is your daughter?

[findeight]

That had to hurt. Bad. I’d cry too. She could have done some soft tissue damage or gotten a deep bruise. Probably scared her too.

How old is she?

[caffeinated]

[QUOTE=AmarachAcres;7756542]
So from all you horse people, what are your pain reactions to falls? If you hit hard, are you able to hop up right away? Do you scream in pain regardless of anything being broken or not?[/QUOTE]

I generally go “oof” when I fall. I tend to land either on a hip or the back of my shoulder/neck/head. Either way, I generally do not hop up right away unless my horse is about to commit suicide or hurt someone or there’s another urgent matter. I have a relatively high pain tolerance and also tend not to feel the full extent of things right away (adrenaline, yay!), so I usually lay there a minute and test everything out to make sure all my systems are working properly (especially when I land with any kind of head impact). But I don’t think I’ve ever screamed or sobbed. If I cry from physical pain, it’s more my eyes leaking a bit than anything gushing. From observation this seems to be how most horsepeople I know are, too.

Should I even try to get her to understand it makes it hard for us to figure out? Is her behavior normal at all?

I don’t even know where you should start. Maybe it’s all relative to her, and if she hasn’t experienced a lot of really bad pain everything is really horrible until it gets one-upped. Maybe work with her on creating some sort of scale, using “recent fall” and “broken arm” and “stubbed toe” on a number chart, so she can try to identify where things fall if her emotional reaction doesn’t match up.

Thing is, I don’t know if this is a low pain tolerance thing or not, if her crying over little stuff is the exact same thing she does when something big happens, like a broken arm, that suggests to me a broken arm wasn’t much worse to her, which says high pain tolerance. Maybe it’s more of some kind of anxiety/fear reaction to pain or something. And maybe the fall really was extremely painful if she tweaked a tendon/ligament or something.

I dunno, just rambling. It doesn’t sound entirely normal to me. I’d work with her on creating some sort of objective scale you can use.

[AmarachAcres]

She’s 11. The doctor didn’t find any damage other than bruising. She actually wasn’t scared. She was laughing and joking with people once she stopped crying and wants to know when she can ride again.

I think my frustration is that there is no middle ground. Any injury is agony inducing for her. We joked the cops would come for us soon with the hospital visits.

We just want to take good care of her and she can’t articulate more than “it hurts it hurts it hurts.”

[AmarachAcres]

[QUOTE=caffeinated;7756576]

I don’t even know where you should start. Maybe it’s all relative to her, and if she hasn’t experienced a lot of really bad pain everything is really horrible until it gets one-upped. Maybe work with her on creating some sort of scale, using “recent fall” and “broken arm” and “stubbed toe” on a number chart, so she can try to identify where things fall if her emotional reaction doesn’t match up.

Thing is, I don’t know if this is a low pain tolerance thing or not, if her crying over little stuff is the exact same thing she does when something big happens, like a broken arm, that suggests to me a broken arm wasn’t much worse to her, which says high pain tolerance. Maybe it’s more of some kind of anxiety/fear reaction to pain or something. And maybe the fall really was extremely painful if she tweaked a tendon/ligament or something.

I dunno, just rambling. It doesn’t sound entirely normal to me. I’d work with her on creating some sort of objective scale you can use.[/QUOTE]

I like the idea of having her own pain scale. That could actually help a lot.

I’m just dreading the day she calls screaming in agony and I race home to find her with a paper cut. I’m not trying to say this out of disrespect, I love her dearly, but that is how we feel sometimes.

We know we can toss her some neo for that and move on. But with a fall like this, dangit, I need to know if it really is serious or not.

[findeight]

Perhaps talking to a professional would be a wise choice? Doesn’t seem all that “normal” from what you posted. Maybe a physical would be a good idea. Or a talk with a counselor. Or both.

But I sure as heck would not assume she’s over reacting or being a drama queen. A 16 hand horse is 5’4" off the ground at the withers and she got dropped straight down like a rock on a hard surface…like I said, that had to hurt.

Oh, I never scream or even cry more then a little. But I never have about anything else either. Mostly internalize everything I guess. I don’t think that relates to how anybody else reacts.

[fooler]

[QUOTE=AmarachAcres;7756580]
She’s 11. The doctor didn’t find any damage other than bruising. She actually wasn’t scared. She was laughing and joking with people once she stopped crying and wants to know when she can ride again.

I think my frustration is that there is no middle ground. Any injury is agony inducing for her. We joked the cops would come for us soon with the hospital visits.

We just want to take good care of her and she can’t articulate more than “it hurts it hurts it hurts.” :([/QUOTE]

She is still a kid, not yet a tween, so would “I” would expect that response from her.

Difference for me is growing up with 3 older and larger brothers, I learned how to handle pain. Boys will rag you for crying when you are hurt - remember the line in “A League of Our Own”?

caffeinated and I have the same response when we hit the ground - check the parts to see what is working or not working. Maybe encourage her to develop her own procedure when she falls or stumps her toe or, or, or.
Sounds horrible doesn’t it? Teach your kid how to understand and deal with pain :eek:, but we all know being around horses we will be injured.
Another thought is to put her in a tumbling class so she learns better body awareness and how to fall. Am guessing she fell like a pile of rocks - which would hurt like the devil. Plus it should help her with her riding as she is more self aware. Something people, not just kids, seem to learn at very different rates.

[JBCool]

Well, I landed similarly years ago and although all I really got was a big bruise, it hurt like the dickens initially and I went to the ER to make sure I hadn’t cracked something, too. But, no, I don’t think I’ve ever screamed in pain: gasped and cried, yes. If she’s young(er) and/or hasn’t come off very many times, you may be dealing with a shock factor, too. It seems like the more times we come off, the better we get at falling/landing and evaluating the pain. Just my thoughts.

[LouBeans]

Out off all the falls I’ve had since I was a wee one, only three of them were very serious, but 99% of them had me sitting/laying on the ground for at least a few minutes. I’ve once had a trainer (quite rudely) tell me “You know, that wasn’t really a bad fall” as I was sitting there trying to get my vision back in focus. And you know, I bet none of them looked “bad.” But, man, did they ever hurt.

I’ve done a similar slow fall onto a hard surface, and yes, it hurts, but aside from an initial loud yelp, I don’t recall ever screaming in pain. I did know one girl in high school who got bucked off during cross country at the jump I was judging. She landed on her back, screamed on impact, but when we tried to help her she went into full dramatics, getting up when we told her not to, sitting back down, loudly moaning, lifting up her shirt and asking if we could see anything (nope), and when the med arrived she waved him off and goes “oh, I’m fine.” It was by far the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. I think it truly hurt her to fall, but I think all the stuff after it was just her being embarrassed.

[AmarachAcres]

I appreciate all the input. Thank you guys for understanding.

[Trinket]

My stories are a little different.
I have Fibromyalgia and honestly, that hurts more than a fall. A fall sucks, I’ve had like…5 in total (I’m young, and horse is green although I’m not) so far, and I expect a LOT more to come! However, I dust myself off, and get right back on!

The next day SUUUUUUCKS. Like awful, bruising plus the pain I normally feel, just game breaking. Day after a fall I don’t even think of riding, haha.

Now, my sister doesn’t ride. She’s been checked for Fibro and other pain issues…nothing. She’s (and I mean her no offense) a wimp.
EVERYTHING is horribly painful. Small headache (I get migraines, hers are NOT migraines) TERRIBLE.
Walked too much/exercised too much? TERRIBLE.
Period cramps? TERRIBLE.

Everything that could cause MILD DISCOMFORT is TERRIBLE. :rolleyes:

She did check out for Bi-Polar disorder as a child, and my cousin who is just plain old Depressive is the same way. I’d get her checked out fully. And be aware some metal health issues can make you overreact to small pains.

[charismaryllis]

classmate got bucked off a few months ago; lay there pounding her fist in the dirt and cursing. decided to take the ambulance ride just to be on the safe side; she’d broken her shoulder AND her hip. no wailing or crying or anything. we were dumbfounded to find out she was even hurt.

then again, i had a woman step on my foot outside a store one day and it hurt more than when i’ve been stepped on by draft horses. (yelping and swearing. and then some hopping around.)

yes, definitely odd. something else going on there i think–but then, she’s 11. she’ll probably grow out of it.

[Loopy]

Apparently I have quite a high pain threshold, who knew? But it did me no favours when I injured myself recently and I was conversationally saying to people, yeah, legs broken, and my hand is broken, blah blah. Turns out nobody believed me as I was so matter of fact and ‘normal’, including at the hospital…until they saw the x-rays then scheduled me for surgery.

I understand sort of where shes coming from with ‘it hurts it hurts it hurts’, as I don’t seem to be able to articulate the lower levels of ‘hurt’, so it makes sense to me that she maybe is similarly struggling to express nuances of pain.
That made more sense in my head, i’m sorry…

[sascha]

[QUOTE=AmarachAcres;7756580]
She’s 11. :([/QUOTE]

There’s your answer right there, sort of. Age, experience, figuring out you’re not going to die when you hurt yourself. She’ll get over it.

Also, fear can make pain worse.

My niece was like this. We all lost our patience with her and told her to get a grip, she wasn’t going to die from stubbing her toe (and we all cut off the sought attention for minor owies) and she got the heck over it in short order.

Something to put some control in her hands might be to teach her to take stock of herself after she sustains an injury. Give her a list and make her go through it out loud every time. Add in basic 1st aid.

Am I bleeding a lot or a little?

• I’m bleeding a little so I’ll wash it out and put a bandaid and some pressure on it and check that it’s stopped bleeding in 5 minutes or I’ll get help if the blood comes out the sides of the bandaid.
• I’m bleeding a lot so I’ll find something even my shirt if necessary and put hard pressure on it while I CALMLY sit down and call for help. I need to remember that if I’m not calm it will be harder to stay focussed and get help.

Can I move my (finger, elbow, knee, ankle?)

YES

• it hurts so I’ll just rest a minute and see if it calms down
• when I’ve rested I’ll try moving it again and see if it’s more or less painful
• can I put weight on it?
  NO
  - I need to CALMLY sit or lie down, elevate the offending member and call for help. I need to remain calm so I don’t make the injury worse or elevate the pain level. Getting upset and excited always makes the pain worse

NO

• I need to CALMLY call for help and try not to move at all

Etc., any kid can learn this stuff and empowering them will help them stay calm and truly allow them to assess the situation rather than just freaking out that they are in pain.

Give her a check list, teach it to her, practice it with her AND if you don’t actually know what to do - go take a 1st aid course and THEN teach it to her. Even better take the course together if possible.

And always, always, always, after a fall, make sure she knows to stay exactly where she is and starts running her list before she tries to move. So, so important to check yourself over before moving!

[trailpal]

I have come off a number of times (well, I’ve been riding about 30 years, it comes with the territory). A few times I’ve come off and injured/bruised the bursa - that stings at first and a day later I felt like something must be broken. Nope, a day or so after that, swelling subsides and the pain goes away. On the other hand, I fell hard and bounced, got a brain bleed & concussion. Felt fine other than not remembering the last 15 minutes; that put me in the hospital for 4 days. Another launch landed me hard flat on my back and knocked the wind out of me… I thought I was dead but the farm dog came over to lick my face and that made me start breathing (giggling) and I was fine.

Now, all this was as an adult. Not sure what I would have done as an 11yo but it’s all individual. As an 11yo I was mostly crashing my bike into things - I think I figured out to do Sascha’s triage from that - 'cause if I went in crying, I wouldn’t be allowed out to play again.

[gaitedincali]

I fell off once and “only” bruised my hip. I have a high pain tolerance - hell, I’ve done DIY minor surgery on myself and I just kept on grooming dogs when I recently broke my hand- and that hip bruise HURT bad enough to make think about finding Jesus. I was honestly shocked as heck that I hadn’t fractured my hip. I was sure it had to be in pieces. The pain faded pretty quick though, and within 2 days I was walking around. It never really colored up, either.

Since then I’ve had similar falls where I’ve bruised my hip up badly that didn’t hurt anywhere near that. Not even comparable - maybe 10% of the pain. I was able to get right back up and keep riding. What did I do different that first day? Who knows?

If you compared the way I was carrying on that first fall to the way ‘most’ people would react after a similar fall, you think I was a drama queen. But obviously I managed to squish/tweak/smash something above and beyond that day.

[OveroHunter]

It sounds like she has been riding for awhile. Is this her first fall? How did she handle the other falls?

Personally, at 27 I still jump up immediately after any fall because there’s still the taunting voice in the back of my head that tells me not to look like a baby. I’ve never cried, but when I broke and dislocated my shoulder after a really nasty fall and immediately jumped up I hyperventilated because of the pain… I think I cried later in the ER when all my horsey friends were gone and couldn’t see my acting like a baby lol.

[Appsolute]

Hum… I think I would ask her doctor about it. I like the idea of the kid vocalizing a pain scale. It IS an individual thing… but her reactions sound extreme.

I never thought I had a particularly high pain tolerance. I certainly know when I am sore after a particularly hard work out - and will whine about it.

But on the other hand, I can’t recall EVER crying after coming off a horse, and certainly NEVER screaming and wailing - never. Either I wasn’t hurt enough to warrant it - or if I was REALLY hurt, I was “shocky” enough not to react like that.

I started riding when I was 10 - had a green broke, young ornery horse. I remember coming off 6 times in one day once when I was that age. I came off ALL THE TIME between 10-13.

I have broken my tail bone (and got back on and finished the XC course - shock!), had my thigh stepped on (bone bruise), have had the wind knocked out of me, split my chin and knocked all of my front teeth out (shock + head injury)… all when I was a tween or teen - and really no “drama”. I always popped right back up (except for the wind knock out - I remember laying - tried to talk, couldn’t, stayed down until I got some breath back).

Course I did cut half of my finger off when I was a kid (top knuckle up - GONE :eek: ) and I remember NOT crying over that, but chalked it up to shock.

Maybe I am the weirdo [oh and ditto what Painted said - I think part of it was “looking tough” because I always thought that was what a rider should be, as a kid I would have been embarrassed to cry]

[OnDeck]

Another vote for being age-related. I’ve seen young girls start screaming before they hit the ground. Everyone watching is worried about a foot stuck in an iron and she’s just scared. :rolleyes:

Your reaction to falls changes as you get older. Hopefully she will realize it’s not (usually!) a big deal and calm down, but right now I can relate to her not being able to control her reaction. As a kid I frustrated my parents and trainers because I would jump up so quickly. I would be thinking about standing up before I hit the ground, which is not a good instinct (except when I actually do get my feet under me before I land :lol:). It took years seeing and hearing about bad falls to finally be able to contain my instinct to jump up when I had a serious fall. Now I can hit the ground, pause, calmly check head/neck/back and get up. I could have never made myself do it as a kid.

In her case, it will hopefully be the opposite. Maybe seeing enough falls where kids calmly get up and remount will help her relax.