Yes, it bothers me too. Not just the word “equity” being used in this sense, but “athletes for equity” makes it sound bad to be against equity. It makes it sound like they’re for the athletes in our sports being treated fairly, but they’re really defending those that are exploiting those young athletes and it disgusts me.
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It does seem to be gaslighting to use the word “equity” here, where the “victim” of the inequitable treatment is the alleged perpetrator. Being a victim also seems to be the MO of many abusers.
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So, doublespeak? 
Hmmm… describing it as “gaslighting” is on point. Good call.
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David Loman has been added to the Safesport list for Allegations and has a No Contact directive. He was an assistant coach for the IHSA team at Albion College and has been an assistant trainer at Rose Dhu Equestrian Center in Bluffton, SC.
I agree. Abusers/predators shouldn’t have apologists. Ever. I also wish there were more “good people,” instead of rumor starting, name calling, pot stirring, sympathizers of violent criminals- sex offenders etc, whom, despite having access to factual evidence, deny it. People whom, despite knowing the difference between right & wrong- act badly & worse, moving the goal post for the standard of “inexcusable actions,” to unreachable distances - even for, let’s say, an attempted murderer. It would be so much nicer if some the “yentas,” of Coth had friends outside the usernames of this Bb. Or, perhaps they’re all “friends,” irl … which to me, makes “hiding behind a screen name,” for them, so much worse. Upside being, some posters who practically have lived on this BB since 2003 or close - have probably also had an “ooopsie,” moment in failing to continue to keep their identities anonymous. (I’ll return to the relevance of this fact, later.)
This isn’t directed at you, sky, btw. I just found your supportive post of AK to be inspiring. A road map even, of the way people should act when violent abuse or sexual abuse occurs in this sport & there is NO QUESTION of whom the victim/s is/are. Not even a close call. It’s misconduct of a “sportsman” to act in any other manner, toward victims IMO. It’s misconduct of a human. Even SS is guilty of “political,” misconduct & don’t even get me started on USEF. Or, (as it turns out) the amount of posters who ARE highly to mediocrely positioned USEF & USDF officials, judges etc, steering a (not so) anonymous crowd to reach “conclusions,” re VICTIMS which might otherwise cause severe embarrassment to their organizations even if that embarrassment may become inevitable at a later date, regardless. For them, no news is good news- But if it shall be news- they shall control it. What a crock.
Idk about anyone else, but I’d like to know why, following the sudden lifting of RMD’s ban, SS had no statement to provide on its own accord. Sure, they pushed back against claims made by RMD exonerating himself… But, that’s not the same as making a statement. Did they lose the hard evidence they would’ve had to have had to impose the harshest sanction there is? Lifetime ban. Rather than imposing a temporary measure or temporary suspension, while an investigation concluded- which it apparently did, leading to the need for an independent arbitration… which never occurred. SS doesn’t need the participation of claimants to “prosecute,” a claim. Just the evidence. Their job is to “fact find,” and protect those in harms way. Was it all a big mistake? Or, is it just the threat of being dragged to US District Court (by RMD’s attorney who every other USEF “BNT,” uses when they’re accused & reported to SS - Howard Jacobs) which caused the lifting of the ban so abruptly and PRIOR to arbitration? RMD started parading about & carrying on re his “innocence,” far before the arbitration hearing date & IMO, I think he knew there would never be one. Btw- SS can keep temporary measures in place with or without a victim’s testimony in arbitration. To reach arbitration a FORMAL investigation must be conducted - rather than a quick, informal investigation, where if sanctions are imposed on a respondent- he/she may then opt for a formal investigation where the sanction is final. The only way to then dispute that sanction is the request by the RESPONDENT for an independent arbitration along with 5k. So… was the threat of US district court made to SS by Jacobs the big deterrent in actually keeping the lifetime ban? Seems to me, RMD kept losing during every stage of SS procedure & knew an independent arbitration likely would not reverse a thing. So he & Jacobs fought the system- not the victims in what would have been “arbitration.” Could a THREAT made to SafeSport by Jacobs, on behalf of his client, RMD, to drag them to USDC have been the one step SS refused to endure?
I’m genuinely curious … even though, I’m A.) pretty sure I know the answer & B.) Idk if RMD “counts,” anymore as a person to use in order to seriously question SS’s methods - seeing as though his SS “acquittal,” (his words, pretty much) has already occurred. I mean, just after the so called “conviction,” & subsequent “sentencing.” (Aka Lifetime Ban) Are we not all owed some explanation? ASIDE from RMD’s or his wife’s or his repeatedly used attorney’s (by some of the worst offenders.) A real explanation. Isn’t that the point of all this? Keeping very bad actors out of the sport- which is a privilege not a right- so children & those with power imbalances will be safe?
Fun fact- in 2019 SS had just 5 (FIVE) total investigators. Now, it has more- not by much, though. I won’t speak to the “training,” SS investigators receive. I haven’t the time or mental strength. However, the outcome of any investigation relies ENTIRELY on the one investigator assigned to your (g) case. If the respondent is pissed off you filed a complaint - they can file what is basically a counter complaint. (A direct conflict with the rule re “retaliation!” But, this post won’t be addressing all the specific SS code flaws, application flaws & contradictions.) In this case too, (counter claim filed) the same one investigator is charged with deciding who they believe - or even like better. Evidence can go screw itself. This, if both parties are HIGHLY “lawyered up,” mostly results in a draw. No good. Not even close.
I SERIOUSLY recommend this: If you find you must report someone/s to SS- hire a legal team who can find its way to Congress just as quickly as it can find (and hopefully HAS found in the past) it’s way to SCOTUS. A legal team/firm who will, on every occasion call Jacobs’ bluff & wipe the Congress floor with his tie. He has put SS in terrible positions & only a firm such as the type described above might be considered SS’s “fairy godmother.” I feel sorry for victims who have been abused by USEF BNTs or licensed officials, as it will be an uphill battle all the way - UNLESS the victim is prepared, protected and willing to take extraordinary measures to stop the wheel from spinning the same way it has all along. And even then, dont envision a cake walk. Bc, make no mistake, the double standards are real & provable. SS does NOT want to tangle w USEF- especially after the RMD debacle & USEF knows it. And, that problem is exactly what makes SS useless - at least to SOME extent- if they themselves have fallen victim to being the one’s in the position of a terrible power imbalance! If USEF holds the power card- SS will always find a way to kick all allegations BACK to USEF … precisely where USEF wants them. With the strict confidentiality code that SS proudly expresses it abides by carefully, I realize doing this would put SS in breach of its own “code.” So does SafeSport. Which is why they refer to an action such as this (sending confidential info to USEF) as a “clerical error.” The bell which can’t be unrung but also can’t be punished. Human error & all. Welcome to the beginning of corruption - unless SEVERE oversight is installed immediately. Robert Dover has been extremely vocal against SS & expressing the desire for NGB’s to return to possessing the ability to “police its own people.” If I’m not mistaken, this idea came right around the same time as RMD’s ban. (RD’s very good friend’s, Debbie’s, husband- WHAT A SHOCK.) This makes SS practically useless to VICTIMS of USEF’s “club,” of their perceived “untouchables.” A complainant & his/her legal team MUST be prepared to walk the walk - all the way up the “Hill,” and back down to civil court and US District court should the situation call for it. Haven’t victims “walked,” a walk they should never have had to “walk,” in the first place already? I think yes. Victims have been well, victimized enough.
As an aside- I also believe any person caught bullying/victim shaming a victim should be automatically sanctioned by SS & the NGB- regardless of & especially if the respondent/s is/are a BN anything.Even if there isn’t yet a “respondent,” but a crime committed. This only makes the “fan girl,” rubbish worse. The worse the victim shaming, the worse the sanction should be for those who engage/d in this behavior. JMO- on almost all counts.
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@La-LaPopRider
Although SafeSport didn’t issue a statement on their own, they did provide a statement for the following article that answers your question about why they dropped the Bob McDonald case. Link to article which I found by using Google, though my search may have been aided by the fact that I’ve searched for it before. For all I know, I may have linked it somewhere upthread, but I wasn’t willing to scroll through the whole thread. A search on the thread using his name didn’t come up with the link.
It took me some time to figure out who RMD was since I think of think of him as Bob. I will also confess to skimming a fair amount of your post.
There are some of us on here who don’t bother to hide our identity. I’ve met a number of very nice people via this BB, discovered others that I’d known IRL for years, and been asked on three separate occasions when moving to a new barn if I was the Peggy from the Chronicle Forums.
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AMEN. But… we all know that some of the most obvious and egregious victim shaming has come from a group of folks who are at the top of the sport. What has gone on in the Hunter Jumper community in particular in the last few years - in the wake of news about JW, RG and GHM - it’s been really savage.
You brought up Bob McDonald’s case… he’s a unique figure who is connected to the old school elite in the jumper community on the West Coast, and also connected to the Dressage community for obvious reasons. I’ve watched the lack of public reaction/action to the article from this last February, and the OC Register about his case… and just felt sad. Scott Reid is the reporter who did the interviews and researched the McDonald case before publishing this piece. He’s an EXCELLENT reporter, who has covered SafeSport issues for multiple different Olympic Sports.
Here’s a link to the story from last February again, for anyone following along who isn’t aware of some of the specifics and allegations related to the McDonald matter. It’s a heartbreaking read.
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That’s really funny! And it just now occurred to me, I don’t know any other Peggy! Thank you for providing the link! I haven’t read it yet, but I’d read some other scattered articles around the time of the ban. Back then, there didn’t seem to be much in the way of a real statement from SS … though, it’s possible I missed it.
I’m doing a disastrous job of navigating this new COTH format! It wouldn’t entirely surprise me if I misused the google, too! LOL! Thanks again for the link!
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Interesting. @ladyj79 mentioned many months ago that there was a bit of an intersectional crisis brewing with respect to SafeSport, and certain figures, including GHM, who went on to be banned for life. I believe the lobbying firm that Athletes For Equity connected with via Packy McGaughan’s efforts and DC connections was somehow connected to other LGBTQ lobbying efforts.
For the record… I find all this really unfortunate and sad. LGBTQ youth are profoundly vulnerable to abuse… this has been studied and revealed over and over. SafeSport is so important for this vulnerable group. It’s disheartening to witness elder statesmen in sport affiliated with the LGBTQ community advocating AGAINST SafeSport. But what do I know…, I’m just a mom from Virginia
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I find it all terribly sad, too. It’s exactly as you stated in an above post. The most egregious victim shaming comes mostly from those at the very top of the sport. Being a sport based on competition & being a (relatively) small community, comparatively anyway, the smaller names will largely & loudly follow the actions & opinions of those at very top. God forbid anyone take a stand against a potential *1- *5 judge, he or she may ride for in the future. In the end, whether it’s H/J land or Dressage land, it boils down to which way the “political,” wind is blowing at the “old school,” top! Vile.
The LGBT community MUST be protected- not bullied. The BNT’s in H/J and Dressage have a duty (I believe) to support SS in protecting these individuals. SafeSport is so important to all vulnerable groups - I do fully believe SS was created to do just that. I also believe different people have had VERY different experiences when dealing with SafeSport. I can’t rightly make demands for transparency while also wholeheartedly believing in the protection of victims & their identities. That said, it seems I’m left in the same position as many other posters- wondering how & what can & should be done to build more confidence in the “private,” dealings with SafeSport.
FYi & FWIW, “just a horse mom from VA,” or not, I respect your thoughts & appreciate your POV & links! Sincerely, ~ just a Dressage rider from everywhere - hoping to get somewhere! 
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Thank you for linking that. I hadn’t read it.
“I think for some of us older athletes,” K.D. said “I think if we don’t step forward nothing is ever going to change for the younger generation.”
What a brave woman for speaking out. Even if the ban was lifted for now, at least some people know what he did.
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Removed my post because it’s just not worth my breath.
While yes, La-La was absolutely a victim, her hands aren’t clean in other situations.
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I’d like a detailed account of “other situations,” in which my “hands aren’t clean.” Please EXPRESSLY name these “situations,” from the POV of your own personal account (I.e what YOU, yourself witnessed first hand) NOT something you read from another poster whom read it/ “heard it,” somewhere else, whom read it somewhere else- and so on. Or, do the noble & less incriminating thing (for you) and remove your defamatory post like NOW.
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Remember that “VICTIM SHAMING,” some of us were just discussing?? Well, I’m going to remove myself from my own “situation,” and restate for you what you just said, essentially.
“While yes, Suzy was absolutely a victim of rape and sexual abuse, there were a few occasions which (IMO … Bc that’s what IS) her riding shirt was a bit low cut. Some might agree she was asking for it.”
Yes, I can see why you’d delete your other post. Actually, a mod probably did that for you- but that’s just “speculation,” - which according to the worst victim shamers in existence, is A-Ok. Stop making topics about me. It makes you seem obsessive and mildly creepy. TIA!
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Not the same at all. You were a victim, period. I am not saying anything that you did in regards to that caused you to be shot. I’m not speaking to that incident at all because no one deserves what happened to you regardless.
I’m not going to go back and forth with you because it literally feels like that is your goal, to get attention, so I have put you on ignore. Have fun!
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You bring me up personally, in your own post, then have the audacity to claim … you brought me up Bc, ummm … I NEED attention? Oookay. Lmk how that logic works out sometime. FYI- you have should have began by pressing “ignore,” if my presence ignites a fire in your soul - or something.
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Wow… beyond rude. Kindness is a choice. Try making it yours.
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It would be appropriate for SS to also establish repercussions for those filing false reports with the intent simply to cause issues or needless investigations.
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