I have a friend whose daughter was/is a flyer (junior high/senior high/college cheerleading). We once had a discussion about predatory males in women’s sports (I think it was during the Nasser trial). I asked her if she was concerned about the males on the team “touching” her daughter during catches. She told me that she has been around many of those guys (she is a team “mom” and a fitness trainer herself and has been on many team trips as a chaperone/asst coach), and the boys are indeed just “regular boys.” It is true that the girls sometimes get inadvertently touched on a “private” body part, esp. during awkward catches, but it is not uncommon for the guys to apologize to the girl for an awkward touch. In my friend’s experience, neither her daughter nor any of her teammates have ever shown any concern or anxiety about the guys. The boys are given ground rules about behaving like gentlemen when they join a team and at the beginning of every season, and they tend to adhere to that. My friend described them as a group, “fine young men.”
Ahh, just like Dahmer.
Sorry to be extreme, but these statements are out of touch. Plenty of murderers, serial killers, and child abusers are known to be the “nicest” people. Would never be them, etc etc. It’s part of a predators game, hiding in plain sight. They are good at it. They have entire forums on the Dark Web on how to get away with it.
That’s good to hear. Again, I’m ignorant.
For women/men of the same age as in a cheerleading team it doesn’t make me cringe as much as watching the older adult males with young women just learning tumbling needing grappling type catches if they biff a back handspring or what have you. Maybe it’s because of the power dynamic difference between individuals on the same team/level versus coach-student.
Here’s an example of what makes me cringe. Yes, I know the guy in the video is likely a fine human being, but what an excellent opportunity for a creep.
Contrary to what you seem to want to believe, not all men are predators, murderers, kidnappers, etc. Some are IN FACT decent, upstanding guys who get just as appalled and angry about “bad actors” as you do.
so are church choirs, scout outings, football camps.
like I said…seeing a pervert in every man does not help either.
not exactly the point I was going for although I grant you that you are correct.
I don’t think any of your examples require quite the amount of physical touching that’s expected from a spotter.
I hear what you’re saying, but some sports are going to be easier for abusers than others. Gymnastics is one of them, due to all the touching. Horseback riding is one of them because of all the one-on-one time coaches and students have historically had.
well, seeing perversion everywhere is a perversion in itself.
It’s important to keep in mind that when it comes to cases of sexual abuse in elite sports between older male coaches (or team doctors) and young female athletes… it’s actually the psychological grooming that seems to be a primary component of how this stuff happens. Not so much incidental touching.
Case after case after case reveal that predatory people leverage their position as coach, and the intense relationship that can form with young athletes who have elite goals and a lot of focus… and then it develops into abuse.
That’s not to say that sports with lots of incidental contact don’t have cases of abuse and issues… but the psychological side of grooming is clearly a key factor in many many cases, and the dynamics involved apply across the board to other sports where there isn’t any incidental touching.
Starting out by assuming everyone is ok, and implying that some sports don’t offer more ample opportunity for abuse than others, is also disingenuous.
Where did I say that? 
Your giving examples of people saying a group of young men are decent because of their actions in public, but the reality is majority of these abusers hide away in public, as “fine young/old men”. The argument that others think someone is good so they must be doesn’t stand anymore.
Never once said anything about “all men” or even insinuated that or the majority of men are predators. Major leap.
Which discussion takes us back to Safe Sport, everyone involved - parent, child, coach, other kids - knowing that there are potential problems, learning to spot them, learning how to set up and sustain a safe learning environment, avoiding potentially unsafe situations, knowing to whom one might report unsafe behaviour.
A coach teaching under the open public gaze, never alone with minors, fully aware of their responsibilities to Safe Sport is not a problem, regardless of gender. There is no need to physically touch someone when teaching riding.
what you are displaying is a kind of paranoia I see in Law Enforcement: everybody breaks at least one law every day.
It is kind of like with puppies: If you socialize them correctly, they can make sound decisions on whom they meet in life and react accordingly.
We don’t socialize our kids properly and they can’t learn what is proper and what isn’t.
And of course there then comes the LEO mindset that everybody is a bad guy waiting to offend.
And some dogs, despite everything being done correctly, still bite.
I am choosing to ignore this ridiculous remark.
It’s not that is it? It’s more of being aware of your surroundings and realizing that bad things can and do happen at the hands of others. Pretending it doesn’t happen doesn’t help. Pretending its the rare occasion that bad things happen doesn’t help.
" Research shows that one in 10 children will be the victim of sexual abuse before their 18th birthday."
1 in 10. That’s 10% and that’s enough to warrant a mindset of protection.
Your crappy metaphors are not my fault.
It is true that some dogs, well socialized etc, still bite.
It is true that some humans, despite being raised well, are still dirtbags.
the majority of child abuse happens at home.
Plenty of times perpetrated by the pillars of the community.
This is not a discussion about if it happens. We do know it does.
This is a tangent that has somebody clutching her pearls that omg, a male coach is spotting for female gymnasts…
this is the exact opposite of heads in the sand. It does not help if all males are too concerned to be branded a pervert by the overzealous. They will drop out of volunteer positions, etc.
And there is the other point I have been trying to make: If the kids do not have a reference point as to what normal conduct, grooming, or abuse it, how can they voice their concerns?
This is a good question that also relates to children who are abused in the home and by family.
