I saw my first post today where someone said they didnt believe the allegations against him because she has known him for years, and he never acted inappropriately towards her. Why is it that some people believe that a person can’t be a predator unless they prey on everyone?
I got bad vibes almost 20 years ago watching him interact at shows with a young woman who he was coaching.
Why is it so hard for some people to believe that someone you know can be a bad person?
Wish I had an answer to this. Of course it shows up in all sorts of crimes, where family, friends and neighbors will say, “but he was such a nice, quiet, kind man toward me.”
The SS case I was involved with had numerous people coming forward with the same type of protestations. “But I rode with him for years and he never tried any hanky panky with me.”
What these supporters and deniers don’t understand is that predators have a type they seek out to groom and manipulate. They want the vulnerable, the meek, the sexually naive… If you (g) are not that type, they aren’t interested in you.
I can answer this.
Because some people are amazing actors and know how to act around people that they do not want to know about the horrible things they do.
I can not speak for the person you are referring to, because it sounds like their point is more - No way did this happen.
I can say for a fact (and I have talked about this before) that when I learned someone that I knew, I thought well, and interacted with regularly, had a long history of molesting little boys and was once again caught molesting little boys, my first thought was “no freaking way”. But not in a “I do not believe the victim” way but in a “how the freak did I miss all this” way, or “how was I around a person who does this all this time”.
All of us, the group of friends, we all felt the same way. We believed the victims, we believed the police. It was horrible. We had been lied to for a very long time, and that can be expressed poorly in situations like this.
Edit to add - the person I am speaking about had nothing to do with horses and this happened way back in the late 1980s and early 1990s.
Let me guess, a “pick me” woman was saying that?
I appreciate you saying this, because I have asked myself this many times since I learned the truth. Sometimes it haunts me, that it was occurring so close to me, and I didn’t see it. I feel guilty about that, because while I benefitted from the equestrian training I received, the lecherous sexual behavior of which I was unaware was hurting and damaging people I love.
We were all haunted too. We (our group of friends) helped this man have interactions with kids. We all felt so guilty and so stupid for not realizing what was going on.
I’m no expert, but I think it’s important to recognize and remember that the person at fault for this stuff is the person who does it. Full stop.
Not the people who were unaware of the whole situation.
Predators groom their character witnesses as carefully as they groom their victims.
Absolutely. And I try to embrace this sentiment.
Predators predate for a long time because they are good at what they do.
110%
Sam Berry, of Finally Home Farm, has been banned by Safesport for intimate relations with a minor, sexual misconduct involving a minor, violations of USEF rules/bylaws, improper social media/electronic communication, violation of Proactive Policies (Rules and measures meant to prevent offenses), and physical misconduct.
What is with these men?!
The sexual thrill of power over the vulnerable. Apparently it is repulsively common – though far from universal – among men, and I’ve occasionally seen it in women as well.
Did COTH do a recent report on Sam Berry? I may have missed it, they usually do one when someone is permanently banned?
I don’t think they have reported it yet. Perhaps they will report it in January given how close to the holidays the ban was handed down? Sam’s ban is still subject to appeal, but if he were to appeal, it seems like a longshot at best.
Well, it’s been quiet on the AES front for ages, but then I found this in my inbox this morning (sorry it’s long - I copied all of it except the donation links at the bottom of the newsletter):
AES 2022: Year in Review
Athletes for Equity in Sports’ 2022 year-end review will bring concerned sports enthusiasts up to date on the progress of our two nonprofits:
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Athletes for Equity in Sport (AES) – 501©(6)
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Athletes Equity Resource Center (AERC) - 501©(3)
The AES Mission
AES’ mission is twofold:
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Achieve oversight of the SafeSport resolution process
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Initiate much-needed changes at the U.S. Center for Safe Sport
Both objectives are essential to the safety of athletes in Olympic and Paralympic sports.
Since 2019, AES and our lobbyist team in Washington, DC, have conducted weekly calls on the Hill. This year, we spent more than 50 hours in conversations with Senators and members from the House of Representatives.
The goal is to have direct, factual, one-on-one communication with those Senators and members of the House of Representatives who have jurisdiction and oversight powers regarding the U.S. Center for Safe Sport: namely, the Judiciary and Energy & Commerce committees.
In 2022, these conversations on the Hill concerned details of SafeSport case procedures, including serious flaws in the resolution process. These flaws harm athletes and weaken confidence in the SafeSport process. This is not what Congress intended.
During their weekly meetings with AES attorneys; athletes and coaches going through the SafeSport resolution process; individuals reporting and respondents languishing while waiting months to years for a SafeSport investigator to be assigned; and individuals with direct internal knowledge of how cases are handled at the U.S. Center for Safe Sport, Senators and congressional representatives heard detailed accounts directly from those involved in SafeSport cases — and in case after case, serious damage was done.
Over and over again, these meaningful discussions pointed out the lack of judicial principles in SafeSport’s resolution process as well as the erosion of athletes’ confidence in SafeSport’s ability to accomplish its mission, which is to safeguard athletes from abuse. That’s why Congress created the U.S. Center for Safe Sport and what they intended it to do.
AES supports Congress’ intent in amending the Ted Stevens Act in 2017-18 and creating the U.S. Center for Safe Sport. However, Congress did not go far enough; they neither created procedures nor set boundaries with regard to authority. Instead, procedures were created following the failed methods of the Title lX sexual abuse resolution model initially used by universities.
The single investigator process was revoked by the Department of Education in 2017 as being seriously flawed and incomplete. But now that same model is used by SafeSport, and it is still seriously flawed.
AES has brought SafeSport case information directly into conversations on the Hill, drawing Congress’ attention to four areas of concern at the U.S. Center for Safe Sport:
- Due process
- Management and operational integrity
- Weaponization of SafeSport
- Lack of transparency, oversight, and accountability
In addition to pointing out these specific areas that need immediate congressional oversight, AES also suggested four solutions:
First, to establish the legal boundaries intended by Congress in amending the Ted Stevens Act as it pertains to using the U.S. Center for Safe Sport to protect amateur athletes against abuse.
Second, to create a dialogue with the U.S. Center for Safe Sport, USOPC, and its related NGBs and affiliates, addressing the current status of SafeSport policies and procedures that lack legal equity and making recommendations for a fairer process for all parties involved.
Third, to obtain congressional support for agreed-upon policy changes that achieve equity in SafeSport procedures, both proactively and retroactively.
Fourth, to press for judicial and congressional remedies compelling equitable policy changes to SafeSport, the USOPC, and its related NGBs and affiliates — including legal filings to the appropriate level of the law if negotiations are unsuccessful.
In the Courts
AES supports the upcoming legal filings that attorneys are bringing forward in 2023 to remedy their clients’ damages caused by the SafeSport resolution process and administrative mismanagement by the U.S. Center for Safe Sport.
In the Press
AES has offered factual information to the mainstream media, which is becoming painfully aware of issues with SafeSport’s resolution process and the subsequent negative effects on sports and athletes’ lives. Linked below are a few articles highlighting the growing body of public evidence that supports the need for congressional review and oversight of SafeSport.
https://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/sports-misconduct-watchdog-faces-crisis-confidence-82949055
Sports Supporting AES
Athletes, coaches, parents, and other stakeholders in the following sports support the AES mission: badminton, boxing, cycling, equestrian, fencing, gymnastics, soccer, swimming, track & field, water polo, and wrestling plus Paralympic basketball, equestrian, and hockey.
Every week, AES receives calls and emails asking for support, information, and/or assistance. To date, AES has helped more than 100 athletes and coaches who called us asking for free advice and guidance on how to navigate the SafeSport process. These individuals were directed to pro bono attorneys who could answer their questions and assist them wherever possible.
This has added up to some 250 pro bono hours so far, thanks to the attorneys assisting everyone who’s asked for help. Thus AES serves as a point of contact for individuals on both sides of a SafeSport report who are looking for some understanding — sadly, not easily obtained in the SafeSport process.
AthletesEquityResourceCenter.com
Athletes Equity Resource Center (AERC) is a 501©(3) nonprofit that provides the Athlete Assistance Program℠ to insurance carriers and NGBs (national governing bodies) of Olympic and Paralympic sports. AAP℠ promotes athlete safety and mental health by giving athletes access to professional counselors and other well-being resources through innovative mental health leader Canopy Inc. AERC funds a 24/7 hotline (CALL 855-639-3009) to Canopy for athletes and their families, who may be struggling with SafeSport’s process.
Thanks to the vision and support of AERC presidents Susan Schoellkopf and Mason Phelps (RIP), AERC volunteers with expertise in insurance and mental health secured a registered service mark for AAP ℠ through the US Patent & Trademark Office. AES commends the commitment of AERC members to improving athletes’ lives by offering this tangible assistance from mental health professionals.
AERC also maintains a growing list of experienced attorneys well versed in navigating SafeSport’s daunting procedures and complex code. They stand ready to assist individuals who find themselves in need of legal assistance with SafeSport. AERC’s curated list can be found on the Legal Resources page at AthletesEquityResourceCenter.com.
In Conclusion
AES operates through the generous support of contributors. Thank you to those who have financially contributed toward the success of AES’ mission. AES accepts stock or cash donations. Donations to AES, a 501©(6) nonprofit, are not tax deductible.
These contributors understand that AES is making progress. We are addressing the resolution process at SafeSport, and we are educating Senators and members of the House of Representatives about the need for congressional oversight.
Attorneys working on SafeSport cases have seen a direct correlation between AES’ efforts and certain changes at the U.S. Center for Safe Sport — albeit none to which the center will admit.
AES’ purpose is to improve safety for athletes in Olympic and Paralympic sports; support Congress’ intended mission in creating the U.S. Center for Safe Sport; and instigate SafeSport code and procedural revisions. We must put an end to the weaponization of SafeSport — i.e., misusing a SafeSport report to handle what is all too frequently a labor dispute or vendetta.
They were doing so well at sounding non-partisan and reasonable and they just had to throw “mainstream media” in there and give away their true bias. I find it particularly vile that they are pushing to make all the investigative proceedings public. No better way to deter people from reporting.
Is it me or are 250 legal hours not that much if there are so many wronged people out there?
And doesn’t Congress already have oversight of safe sport?
Is Diane Carney still heading this organization?
