@poltroon - thanks. And I agree on both points you made.
One further point I will make on this topic though…
and I’m going to INTENTIONALLY make this point hypothetically and remove it from the realm of actual individuals living or deceased…
If a mother is at a horse show with her child, who is a young teenager, and they are standing in the general vicinity of their coach, who is standing with a peer level professional, and with a pre-eminent figure in that particular competition scene in their area, and the peer coach tells an off color sexualized joke in a very loud way and my young teenager and I overhear it…
I’m annoyed by this. Professionals need to knock it off with stuff like that.
In the age of Safe Sport, I DEFINITELY expect the top tier professional figure in the area to say something along he lines of, “Hey there! Enough of that sort of talk. We are here to horse show and support clients and the sport - c’mon now.”
If that doesn’t happen, I take a mental note. If my own coach also realizes I am standing there, and my young teenager and myself likely both overheard this… and my own coach says nothing in the aftermath of something extra messy like this… I also take a mental note. Not a positive note.
Personally, my choice is almost always just to vote with my feet, sooner or later over stuff like this. I’m making a point of speaking up about it on these threads right now though, for the people in the back, who are equine industry professionals and rely on clients like adult ammy me, and my hypothetical teenager, for income. Please realize that we ALL need to change certain aspects of a relaxed and chummy culture in our sport in the wake of a stunning and tragic series of revelations concerning the sexual abuse of children. Be a positive part of that change… and if you or your friends coach minors… regardless of your sexual orientation… knock it off when it comes to sexualized jokes in YOUR workplace. Some of YOUR clients, who pay YOUR bills, don’t like it.
This isn’t all that complicated in my opinion. We can all still have lots of fun around horses, the barn and horse shows in general without engaging in this sort of behavior.