People with full time jobs - tell me how you manage your riding

[shadesofbay3]

im sure there is another thread about this so sorry in advance

im early thirties, married, a household to upkeep, thankfully no kids, but other animals at home to tend to, and work 40 hours a week. barn is about 30 minutes from my house and as far if not farther from my work, depending on the location i am working that day. definitely not a morning person either

others in my shoes with horse(s) who are as busy or busier - how do you make time to get to the barn and ride often? i know many get up early to tend to things. i get out 1-3 times a week to ride/tend to things at the barn (have an older/semi-retired horse), but would like to increase that … any advice appreciated!

[outerbanks77]

I’m lucky to be working from home now. Have two horses in work and the barn is only 10 minutes from home. However, I’m there 6-7 days a week. In the summers I get up early and go ride before work (I was also riding a third horse 2 days a week this summer). When the weather cools off, I go out after work. Typically, I make dinner right when I finish the work day, then head out to the barn and work/care for both horses. It’s my main time commitment outside of my job and I’m probably at the barn for about 20 hours a week.

My situation used to be more like yours in that I went in to the office every day, and had one horse about 25 minutes from home. I would ride Saturday/Sunday and typically M/W/F. That left Tuesday, Thursday and a weekend day to workout because I couldn’t really do both on weekdays when I also had to be at the office during business hours.

[xQHDQ]

You need a very understanding husband. If you need to ride after work, that means you won’t be home until late in the evening. He has to be okay with that. He has to be okay with you taking up part of your Sat and Sun for riding, usually half a day on each day. All the rest, you can figure out.

I work from home and my barn has wifi, so I often work from there - clean up horse, take conference call, tack horse up and ride, put horse away, return emails, etc. This often allows me to be home when my husband gets home from work. After dinner, I do more work. I also start my work day at 6am. My barn is also 30 min from home.

Adulting is NOT easy!

[beowulf]

I think the best way to answer this is to know yourself… Know what things will kill your drive to go to the barn on a certain day or your willingness to tackle the hard days, know what your schedule is, and know YOU.

I heard someone once compare juggling work, life, and riding to the spoon allegory. You start with ten spoons when you wake up and throughout the day tasks, people, and things take these spoons away from you. Some days you go to bed with one spoon… Some days, you’re operating in deficit before noon.

My life and responsibilities sounds similar to yours. No kids, a F/T job, 2 hour commute, a household and pets. Oh, and the SO. SO is pretty self sufficient and free standing, otherwise he probably would have died of starvation or neglect within the first year.

I make large meals on Friday or Saturdays and freeze them for the week, so one less thing to stress about. SO feeds himself. We might get dinner together once a month if life is kind to us. The household chores can wait until the weekend. Don’t be afraid to pay people for their services - household cleaning, mowing the lawn, shoveling, picking paddocks, whatever. It can be a huge stress relief to know you don’t have to budget your already thinly-stretched time towards menial tasks.

I found that while I’m not a morning person, the days I rode before work I had so much more mental clarity and much better rides. Bad days at work, horrible traffic during commutes, and general life stressors sometimes made it so that I would get to the barn and know I need to ride, but would go for a trail ride or a quick spin around the property instead.

I’ve learned to be kinder to myself in terms of my expectations. So it took a little longer to get to where I want to be… but my horse doesn’t mind. Mondays I don’t ride. Tuesdays through Thursdays I might get a hack in before dark, but it won’t be much. I reserve Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays for the real training/schooling opportunities, but this comes with drawbacks because the weekends just get eaten away by chores and to-do lists, and I never really truly get a day to just sit down and recharge.

See if there’s flex time or options to WFH at your job. I regret not pushing for this type of flexibility earlier in my life. Take a half lunch break, to leave a half an hour earlier. It makes a big difference. See if there are days you can work remotely… Sadly my WFH days were behind me as my org moved back to full time in the office, but those were the days I felt the best work/life balance I had. My work was always done, my horse was always ridden, my house was always clean and I never went to bed without a meal in my stomach.

[OfCourseItsAnAlter]

I know I’m a Debbie Downer on this subject.

There are 24 hours in a day. You have to decide how you spend them. It’s a simple as that. I’m in my 60’s and I have never found any solution other than deciding on any given day what has the highest priority and is going to get done and what has lower priority and thus does not get done. There’s no magic solution.

I mean, yeah, there are some general things that help make the most of your time, like being super organized and setting a strict schedule and sticking to it, or hiring people to do some of the things you’ve been doing yourself (yard work, house cleaning, dog walking…), but in the end, you can’t make more time for horses unless you take some time you have been spending on other things and reallocate it to horses.

[EventingMaff]

How do I do it? With a lot of guilt across all areas of my life.

I work ~50 hrs a week, have a 2 year old, a high energy dog, a husband, and a young horse (6 yr old).

I’m a pretty non-contributing wife: DH keeps the house running on a daily basis, I do the ad hoc needs (e.g. vacation planning, financial strategy setting, all child planning, social calendar organization) - we outsource everything we don’t have time for (house cleaning, yard work, etc)

A lot of coordination with DH: who’s doing dog? Who’s doing kid? where can we divide and conquer? Who can prep dinner between WFH meetings?

Barn close to the house, WFH job, mobile data sim card built into my laptop. Those are really the three keys to my getting 3-4 rides in.

Also early mornings and / late evenings. Up at 6 AM on by 7, off by 7 45, home by 8 15 to drop kiddo at daycare and online for work by 9 AM. I’m terrible at the evening rides - I usually am drained of energy by that time but if I make it happen it’s usually Kiddo down for bed at 7 30, barn until 9ish, back online to work until 11ish.

There’s weeks I get 4-5 rides in and weeks I get 1. So I have a 25 year old leasee who officially gets 2 days but if I know a week is going to be hectic I give advance notice and she gets extra ride days. Let’s just say…she definitely gets more than she pays for!!

[B-burg_Dressage]

In all honesty, I agree with @OfCourseItsAnAlter. I think it has a lot less to do with commute/time/whatever and a lot more to do with motivation. I say that as someone who has scaled back over the years as well, so zero judgement.

When I first got out of college, I worked 40 hours/week. I ran 5 days/week. I rode 6 days/week. And I worked at the barn 2-3 times a week including one morning where I woke up at 3:30 to do morning chores before work. Office was a good 25 minutes away, as was the barn (in the opposite direction of course). I was engaged and living with my fiancé (now DH).

I have scaled it back over the years because life is too dang hard to be running around like that all the time. I’m happy if I run 3-4 times/week and ride 4-5 (and if I’m honest it’s usually the lesser).

House/yard work certainly can be a time suck and DH and I do most of it on the weekends.
When you cook, make enough for leftovers on the days you ride.
Change and head to the barn as soon as you get home from work. I know if I put it off for even a little while, I’m way less likely to actually keep the motivation (and my horses now live at home).
See if you have any flexibility with your job. I rotate my schedule in the summers and winters to accommodate the weather and daylight.
Sit down and plan out a weekly schedule for a month or two. Make adjustments as needed. Good luck!

[GraceLikeRain]

June 1 - October 1
5:00 - wake up and workout with DH
6:00 - leave for barn
6:30 - at the barn and equipment pulled out
7:00 - tacked and mounted
7:45 - off the pony and untacking (temps are such that a quick saddle pad area brush and hoof pick is often adequate)
8:00 - leave barn
9:00 - showered and ready to work from home or get on the road to have a 9:30 start time in the office
6/6:30 - finish work
Evening - chores, errands, time with DH

October 2 - May 31
Inverted schedule. 6 AM workout and the work day starts at 7:30/8 and I take lunch at the end of the day to leave by 4:00. With some hustle I can be on by 5:00 and even on the shortest days get in a 30 minute ride. Home by 7:30 and enjoy a shortened evening at home.

We are kid free, DH is very independent, pup is lower energy, and we do not feel pressure to eat meals together.

I ride 6-7 days a week, teach lessons twice a week, have house church one evening a week, and we try to do a date night on Fridays.

The trade off is that I do not typically see friends outside of church M-F, don’t want TV or have a lot of “down time”, the house is clean but often messy, and extended social work lunches aren’t something I can indulge in without preplanning.

[SBrentnall]

No kids, but a partner and a 50-60 hour per week job.

I ride 3x weekly: Weds, Fri, Sat. The barn is almost an hour from my house. On Weds and Fri, I ride early in the morning and am at work by 11:30. I then work until 8.

I’m in a full training and grooming program, so my horse is tacked and waiting for me when I arrive. I try and make time on Weds and Fri to untack and groom after my ride, because I like to know what’s going on with my horse’s body. On Saturdays when I have more time, I do all the grooming & tacking/untacking myself.

I use a food delivery service so I don’t have to spend time preparing meals. I have a weekly cleaner so I don’t have to clean the house. Basically, all my time is spent either working or at the barn.

[islgrl]

I work full time, no kids, married, dog/cat/chickens at home. Commute is super short and barn is on the way. I am at a co-op and do not have an indoor and live in the northeast so weather & light dependent. So, I switched my work hours to begin at 7:30-3:30. I get up before 5:00 am, leave the house by 6:15 to get my stall done before work. Run to work, leave at 3:30 to ride, finish barn chores before going home. In the winter I am usually home by 5:45, in the summer not until almost 7 often. If I didn’t have the work hours I do I wouldn’t be able to ride in the winter before dark.
My husband is independent and doesn’t mind the schedule I think. He walks the dog in the evenings. We share cooking duties although in the winter especially I try and make a big casserole on the weekend to carry us for a few days. My house is a mess, the yard work is done by my husband mostly but I help when I have time. I don’t do anything else because I don’t have time.

If I had kids I dont think it would work.

[candyappy]

My experience as a boarder with a full time job was to go right after work on my way home. On my off days I would go first thing. I wasn’t married then but it would be the same if I was. I found having a set, regular schedule( for the most part) was easiest for me.

[luvmyhackney]

I’m wfh full time usually 45-50 hours, 3 kids but only two really need my time, demanding dog, demanding goats, 3 horses at home. My husband is needy and golfs 4-5 days a week. I ride 2-3 times a week if I’m lucky but he is ok if the house is messy or yard not pristine. I’m not, so I loose out on riding time there.

[lenapesadie]

@OfCourseItsAnAlter

but in the end, you can’t make more time for horses unless you take some time you have been spending on other things and reallocate it to horses.

I agree with this.

Cut house cleaning, yard work and cooking from your life and ride more horses.

[widge]

@lenapesadie

Cut house cleaning, yard work and cooking from your life and ride more horses.

Unfortunately I think this is too lengthy for a novelty license plate frame. Perhaps a bumper sticker is in order.
In one of those Live Laugh Love fonts

[clanter]

not me but my daughter who is an inner city high school science instructor and is also the head tennis coach. As side jobs she still works at least one weekend a month as a vet tech for local vet (weekend includes covering the kennel) and helps a local big-time horse trainer when they need additional help. She also takes her dog every Tuesday evening to a local library as the dog is in demand as a reading dog (Her Dog was Volunteer of the Year in 2020)

And she is raising a young horse, teaching him how to be a good citizen.

Her horse is here, I care for him but she does all the training, He is started under saddle but mostly being driven at this time.

She has done a good job with her horse often they out working until after dark

[Feathered_Feet]

I’ll echo everyone else: something else has to get cut, whether it’s cleaning, relaxing, cooking, reading, whatever.

Like you, I work full time, no kids, several pets at home, and a self-sufficient husband. Several years ago we had “the talk” where he learned he needed to pull some of his own weight as I will just eat cereal for dinner every night to stay alive if needed - if he wanted real meals, he’d have to help make that happen. As a result, he does the overwhelming majority of meal planning and shopping, most of the veggie chopping, and we do actual cooking together, usually in one big batch for the week on Sundays (and maybe a small extra meal or two during the week). So I’ve essentially outsourced meals. Can you swing a meal prep service like Blue Apron to save you time? Before DH started doing all the meal stuff, I learned to not care so much about the quality of my produce and just used grocery shopping services (even before covid) - the $60 a year it cost saved me many hours of actually shopping.

I don’t clean as much as I’d like, nor do I garden anymore except for the occasional house or yard project. We have gardeners keep the lawn trimmed, and our landscaping is pretty self-sufficient. I have a robot vacuum that does most of the indoor cleaning for me. R&R and time with my spouse at the end of the day is eating dinner in front of the TV with DH for an hour or two - there’s no reading to myself for hours on end at the end of the day.

I’ve learned not to care as much about everything so I can be at the barn to ride 5-6 days a week. My commute to the barn is ~ 40 min, but luckily my work is in the same direction. I don’t spend any time on my hair, and do the absolute minimum make up, and don’t spend time picking out outfits. I can get showered and out the door in probably 20 min if I have to. It’s all about parsimony.

Ultimately, you have to know where your time is going in order to know where you can cut. Are you cleaning a lot? Do you have to wash those towels every week? Can you ignore the little dust bunnies in the corners? Maybe you need to switch the landscaping to more low-maintenance plants. Do you have other hobbies? (If so, that’s probably your problem, right there! lol!!) Be very clear about what’s necessary and what is probably fine as-is.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Like a few others, I began working from home after Covid and my work decided to make it permanent. They are also on the West Coast and 2 hours behind me, so my work day doesn’t start till 11am. I am VERY much a morning person and up by 530am every morning. Usually out the door no later than 7am with a 30 min drive to the barn. I do self care, so I generally have 3 hours to get all my chores done, ride, etc. I am fortunate to have a supportive partner that is more than happy to accompany me on the weekends and helps knock out barn chores. My youngest (twins) are 17, so pretty much self sufficient.
I have a friend that boards there, as well, and handles evening feedings and chores.

Before covid, I worked on property, and went after work for several years. Often didn’t get home until 8 or 9pm. It was much harder after a long day at work, but I needed it. My time at the barn, with my horse and riding helps me cope with life in general. My partner knows this, so he rarely complains. I consider myself quite lucky.

[Bending_Line]

So, this may not be popular, but you could always ride a little less often. With my work commitments, it is pretty hard for me to ride more than 2-3 times a week. Maybe the horses don’t progress quite as quickly or stay a little greener a little longer, but I think if you have a demanding job/commitments, sometimes you just have to be realistic about the level you can ride at and not give yourself a hard time about it. Your horse may actually be a little happier hacking out and in general getting a little less pressure. Those of us who are working big hours can’t give ourselves a hard time about not riding like the people who are riding eight horses a day. My caveat is that this only works if your horse has good turn out and is not dependent on your visit to to get out and get some exercise.

[173north]

I work from home with a flexible schedule, so most days I finish up at 3, go to the barn for a few hours, and catch up on work or hang out with my boyfriend afterward. The barn is 20 minutes away which makes it really easy to get there almost every day. On the weekends I wake up early and ride first thing, then have quality time with boyfriend, clean, run errands, etc.

I agree with everyone saying to outsource or streamline cooking and cleaning. We have a house cleaner and gardener come 2x per month which is a huge help. I pretty much live off frozen Trader Joe’s food, my boyfriend and I have different dietary needs & schedules so we feed ourselves.

I’m also not a morning person but for a while, when I had a more traditional 9 to 5, I was getting up at 5 to get to the barn. If I laid out my barn clothes the night before and had coffee ready to go, it was doable. Getting out of bed and to the car is the hardest part. I was way too drained after my workday to make it to the barn, so going in the AM actually worked best.

[mmeqcenter]

You simply make it a higher priority, which may mean a reduction in the completion of chores or daily tasks.