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People with (human) babies, how do you do it?

Looking for ideas on how people with infants and toddlers make it work at the barn. I know friends who have successfully run barns and done chores with their little ones in tow. I know a lot of people are able to get chores done with babies in a stroller or play pen, but I can’t quite understand how it all works

Things I’m curious about:

  1. Do you bring them to the barn to do chores in the extreme heat or cold? Not necessarily like the hottest or coldest days of the year but if it’s 20° daily would you still bring them?
  2. Do you ride when they’re there? What happens if something happens with baby when you’re on a horse? How quickly can you make it off and over to a baby if they need you while you’re on a horse?
  3. Are there any adjustments you’d make to the setup of your barn to make it more kid friendly/safer?

Sorry. I thought this was about people facing the challenges of baby horses. :smile:

Don’t have any human babies, but my BFF trainer friend did. She put up a little corral (playpen thingy) in an appropriate area (like under the trees for shade, near the arena but out of the dust) so she could still ride yet hear him. Well, we could all hear him. :wink:

In retrospect, it didn’t really work out as gloriously as she planned. It was a constant distraction, especially as he got older and learned he could start wailing to get her attention. That made riding Not Fun for Anyone. Sure, her assistant could play with him while she was in between working horses, but babies and little toddlers want attention, so then we all started feeling guilty. Ultimately she ended up getting a babysitter for a few hours each day so she could focus on riding/training.

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:rofl: Good point, this is a horse forum after all! Lol, I updated the title to clarify. I feel way more comfortable and confident in my management of baby horses in the barn than baby humans in the barn. Thanks for sharing your experience too!

  1. No
  2. depends on the day, sometime I tacked up to just untack and go back home.
  3. Yes, have a nanny suite

In reality it’s the longest, shortest time of my life and I had a very helpful Hubby and parents / in laws. It took the village

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Three words: A good babysitter.

I know that there are people who say they can take a baby/toddler to the barn and make it work and I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it was the only way I could be productive and focused, especially with my first, aka, The Crying Child Who Never Sleeps.

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I honestly don’t mind hearing it at all. Hiring a babysitter seems like a more effective way of getting what I need to get done at the barn, especially if I’m trying to ride 3-4 horses a day + chores. I’ve definitely managed to get chores done with children (not my own) in tow so I can see that its possible but definitely slower and a bit nerve wracking :grimacing:

I have watched folks with babies at our barn.

Infants can be constrained in a car seat. But that lasts under a year.

Once they start to walk they are very mobile.

One mom is at the barn daily with a little boy who is about 3 now. It’s self board so she has let him toddle all over and “help.” It’s fine but wouldn’t work in a serious boarding barn with cross ties.

The other one has turned her now 5 or 6 year old daughter into a competent rider on her old horse starting from when she was 2.

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This is something I am about to try to figure out :see_no_evil:

My little girl will be here quite literally any day. We are a polo family that live on our farm and do everything ourselves. I am seriously hoping she enjoys all the animals and they help keep her entertained so we can get stuff done still. Our friends with similar set ups seem to have extremely barn friendly kids, where as friends who just have a horse or two boarded seem to struggle more at the barn with them. I can certainly let you know as I figure it out!

I have her inky dinky saddle and a mini/kids pitchfork so she can get to work when ready :rofl: thats what we have them for right?!

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I am still trying to figure it out. If I am at the barn when others are there and offer to babysit, I am in heaven. Otherwise, I try to go after work before picking her up from daycare but I miss being able to hang out at the barn and socialize.

But my horse is semi-retired and I though I miss riding, I can at least get some time in with my horse. Before I found out I was pregnant I was riding other boarders or BO’s horses quite a bit and was thoroughly enjoying it. Now I sit on my mare an plod around, wishing I could ride more and/or take lessons (cannot afford currently). So I am casually looking for a retirement home for her. Sorry, I guess I needed to whine a little.

I seriously don’t know how people do it. My son will be 2 in a couple months and I’m still floundering. I try to do my horse chores while he is asleep; I bring the baby monitor with me. But sometimes my best laid plans fail and he’s with me.

  1. Generally no. If it’s unavoidable, in the cold I bundle him and and leave him in his stroller under blankets. In the heat I have a battery operated fan. Or in either situation I park the car right by the barn and leave him in his car seat with the car running, but that makes me nervous.

  2. No. This has been really frustrating to me lately because I want to get back into regular riding.

  3. I wish I had a climate controlled feed or tack room that I could really kid proof. Right now I’m too limited on space which means there are all sorts of hazards in his reach like meds and fly spray and bot knives.

When he was tiny he didn’t need much entertainment. Now we live and die by videos on a tablet when he’s with me for chores.

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I keep my horses at home but as their sole care giver I had to manage getting it done every day when having my 3 kids.

I had them with me all the time except in the extreme cold. Then I just fed quickly when they were still sleeping and did my barn chores ( with baby monitor) when they were down for a nap later in the day.

My riding was sporadic , but I tried and could do grooming and some ground work with my young horses. It just seemed they weren’t happy in a play pen when really young ( mine weren’t) but I still tried.

I didn’t make any adjustments to my set up as it worked well. It is just hard when they are babies. Once mine were toddlers and older it was better. The older ones kept the younger entertained ( in my sight) and I did get a little riding done.

My situation:

  • Horse is boarded at full care barn 5 minutes down the road from my house (barn has a lesson program - great for finding kids eager for a little extra cash! PLUS a playground is 2 minutes walk through the woods from the barn)
  • 1 human child (2 yo)
  • Significant family support in the area and several high schools / colleges to recruit babysitters from

So just from my situation, you can see that I’m in a lucky position of support + full horse care.

0 - 6 months:

Horse care: Baby came to barn with me either in stroller or carrier if I was doing quick (~30 min) horse care visits
Riding: Occasionally I could magically line up nap time to fit a QUICK ride in as baby napped in carseat (transferred to stroller), usually baby stayed home with DH or my mom so I could do a ‘proper’ ride

6 months - mobile (crawling / walking):
Horse care: Baby came with me and I’d plop in a safe spot for quick horse care visits
Riding: Baby always stayed home with DH / babysitter or I’d find a kid to ‘mother’s helper’ at the barn while I rode

1 yr - present -
Horse care: DS loves to come to the barn to “help” with chores. He “helps” muck out, fill waters, make up hot mashes, “lead” the horses around (i.e. holds the tail end of the lead rope as I walk the horse) but has about 45 min attention span before he’s bored; Visits longer then that require a sitter / leaving him at home
Riding: He’s too mobile but no sense of danger with the horses so requires adult (kid) supervision. He either stays home with DH or I line up a teen sitter in advance

My kid never accepted play pens or confined spaces (he’d just wail) but one of the BM’s has a kid who did so that was her go-to tool until the kid could walk (at which point they escape). Another friend who has her own barn has a 4 year old and he’s now old enough to safely entertain himself while she does the barn work / rides - she has clear rules (you need to be in shouting range, you need to check in if I call you, no handling or touching the horses without me there, always assume the electric fence is on)

The hardest age is 18 months - 3/3.5 as they are very mobile but without the ability to look out for themselves yet.

12-14 yr olds that are horse savvy enough to keep your little one safe are the secret sauce to making it work in my mind :slight_smile: or a very flexible spouse / family member who is always happy to watch the child!

The other secret ingredient: giving yourself a lot of grace that this is a demanding time in your life and sometimes the horses are going to bear the brunt end of that reality

ETA: regarding weather, this never really factored into decisions to bring vs leave my kid at home. The barn is plenty sheltered from the worst elements. In the cold he gets layered up, in the heat he is kept in the barn and out of the sun. I’m in New England so we do get extremes on both ends but we’re an outdoorsy family so he has plenty of gear to be ‘weather appropriate’ in almost all conditions.

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I found it much easier with an infant than now with a toddler! I usually don’t bring my son if I plan to ride, but he often comes for vet or farrier appointments, and about every other weekend I bring him just so he can “ride” (ie. I lead him around at a walk)

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ETA @EventingMaff laid out in much better detail what’s been pretty true for me

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Yes, @EventingMaff pretty much has laid it out for you.

DD was an easy, cheerful baby. I could leave her in the car seat for horse care visits and with careful timing, have her in a stroller or car seat napping while I rode or taught. I also had a sweet lesson mom who would also push her in her stroller while I taught.

That all went to heck between a year and 18 months. I could still do a horse care visit with her in the car seat, but anything longer than that she wanted to be up and moving around. Playpen didn’t really work for her.

You can not believe all the things in the barn a toddler can get into. You think you’re aware of all the dangers, but they will find stuff you never thought of. My favorite was drawing all over the car with the dry erase marker from the whiteboard. Thank dog it was my car, not someone else’s!

The real issue with a toddler is that your attention is always split between the toddler and the horses, and that is what’s dangerous - you’re never fully focused on one, and if you are, the other is doing something they shouldn’t.

At about 3 1/2, it got doable again. With planning and timing, we could have a barn visit, I could ride and give her a short ride at the end. At four, I could pony her on her pony from my horse and we could ride together. However, grooming and tacking up still required lots of extra vigilance.

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When my son was about 3 or 4 months old, I bought this:

It was super helpful… for a couple months or so. But once he was aware enough to sit up and realize he was stuck in there while mom was doing other things, that all went to heck. I was able to kind of use it for a few more months until he was just too mobile for that kind of playpen.

While it’s adorable how at almost 2 years, he loves to “help” me… but he is into EVERYTHING. Plus now he can run and climb and is fast! I usually let him help with things like scooping feed and filling water troughs, but I have to confine him to the stroller when I’m actually doing stuff with the horses (usually with cartoons and snacks so he’s not screaming). It’s just easier to get horse stuff done when my husband can watch him or when he’s asleep.

Some people swear by baby wearing in the barn, but that just didn’t work for us while doing chores. I felt like my mobility was limited too much to be practical.

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We did not have horses here before our kids were older, the youngest was four when we brought our accumulated horses home.

But the youngest already had that gleam in her eyes while setting on one of ours that we kept in Kentucky.

Here she was a two setting on Foxie

Next year she was ready to start training her horse

by five she was off on her own

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I think the child’s personality is going to be a huge factor in the success of bringing them to the barn. Some kids just have a death wish and can’t seem to avoid attracting a accident. More pliant children are more conscious about the fact that horses are big and potentially spooky and dangerous and are capable of being entertained by something for an hour or so to get a ride in.

Even now that she is older, in order for me to have a truly effective ride, I have to leave her at home or have her in a lesson with me. ( As I post this my husband has told her no less than 5 times to “leave something alone”……)

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grand kids were pretty easily to entertain as we had some miniatures that were tolerant

IMG_0256 IMG_0943 IMG_7041

IMG_7105

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Adorable photos, clanter!

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