The only people whose opinion matters is the trainer and the judge. Period.
None of the other actual riders or trainers have the mental bandwidth to notice you except as a blur. Think about how much you evaluated them. Not at all, right? If you ride better than them you get a ribbon and they accept that. If you ride worse, they get the ribbon and are grateful you messed up.
As far as rail birds barn rats nonriders there aren’t many at most shows and why would you care? Also realize that riders of any level get picked apart for both real and false reasons online. You don’t owe anyone an Instagram moment if you don’t like your photos.
There is a subset of higher level riders in jumpers who are men that don’t ride that elegantly. Sometimes they got into riding in late teens or early adulthood and went up the ranks fast because they were strong, gutsy, athletic, and came to jumping like they would any male dominated extreme sport. The biggest thing for jumpers is fearlessness. Also being men they found it easy to rise in a female dominated sport and never cared for one moment what the girls and women were saying (because they no doubt assumed it was all wide eyed admiration).
You really do have to get your head past the crippling social anxiety and need for approval that is socialized into young women in our culture. It messes up a lot of young women because it is a bottomless pit and also is fed by your own anxiety. You could be the slimmest and best riding 17 year old and still be in knots over an unflattering photo or a smirk from a barn frenemy or worry you have the wrong brand of saddle pad or girth and everyone is laughing at you.
If you are holding onto a bit of anxiety from having been (like all of us) around mean girls in high school or junior riding, realize that (1) 98% of adult riders have outgrown this and the remaining 2% are the toxic barn birches everyone ignores and (2) you are invisible to the mean girl teens because you are over 18. You’re just another oldie and they aren’t in competition with you socially or in the ring so they don’t care what you do.
However for yourself this might well be a reality check. Now a reality check is not “oh my God I can never do this because I suck intrinsically” but rather “here is a good opportunity to see what I need to work on.” Go over video with your coach.
There are three categories of issue.
One is how does the horse go?
The next is how are the riders aids?
The last is how does the rider look?
If the horse goes well, and the rider’s aids appear soft and appropriate then it’s a good ride even if the rider has some position flaws. And it can be a winning ride at lower adult jumpers.
When you start drilling down into position flaws, there are again several categories.
-
Flaws attendant on being a newbie or out of shape. These include hands bouncing and lower legs flapping and an unsteady upper torso. And getting jumped out of the tack over low jumps. This needs hours in the saddle.
-
Flaws attendant on bad coaching like arched backs, nagging with the leg, riding ahead of the jump, perching, etc. This needs better coaching.
-
Flaws attendant on not being fit enough for the desired level. In dressage the big one is sitting extended trot. In jumpers I would think it’s about the strength to stay out of the tack over bigger jumps. These need hours in the tack and also exercise off the horse.
-
Flaws attendant on basic body conformation or injuries or effects of aging. I have a couple of friends who have structural asymmetry in their hips that affects their whole leg. Some adults are always going to hunch in two point compared to lithe teens. These need physio and exercise off the horse.
-
Finally there is the fact that few adults like how they look in beige or white breeches, and that almost all adults weigh more than they did at 18, and more than most teen riders. That’s a fact of life. You need to compare yourself to the other adults riding at your level. There will likely be some stick thin wiry pros around, then some thin pros getting soft in the middle, and then some regular size adults of varying degrees of skill and elegance, pro or ammie. If you genuinely think your weight is creeping up past what you want, then watch diet and do more exercise off the horse. But remember that it’s the horse being judged and how the horse goes matters most.
) and that every ride is a step in the right direction, but it’s just so different from when I was riding 5 days a week and showing at least 1 or 2 times a month.
