Pet less and so many mixed feelings

[KBC]

Last week our little, indeterminate age, rescue dog, passed very suddenly, without warning. Over the last two years I had to sell my horse, because of finances, we lost our old dog, it was just his time, our cat to cancer, and now this.

I do not remember the last time we didn’t have at least one horse and one pet, many times we had multiples of each. Now there are so many ouch moments, when you hold the door open for your shadow to follow you, when you come home from the barn and there is only DH to welcome you, no snuggles on the couch, each one stings a little bit

BUT

We went to the city the other day, and did not have to worry about getting home. I have to go to the next city over next week, for a hospital check up, husband wanted to maybe stay overnight, well I guess now it’s possible. We are indoors looking at the Arctic weather out there, and no one is sad that we don’t have to go walk.

I don’t know how I feel about living petless, I’m in my late 60’s, DH mid 70’s, I guess we wait until spring and see what happens. I did wonder about volunteering to be a foster dog parent, might follow up on that thought.

Just feeling a bit off kilter and ungrounded and sad right now.

[Bearx2]

@KBC

I don’t know how I feel about living petless, I’m in my late 60’s, DH mid 70’s, I guess we wait until spring and see what happens. I did wonder about volunteering to be a foster dog parent, might follow up on that thought.

First of all hugs to you! Losing pets is hard and the grief you feel is so real! Fostering is a great way to have animals in the house and even if it’s not the right pet for you are helping those animals gain the skills they need to get adopted into forever homes .

[cayuse]

I’m sorry for your loss KBC. Maybe when the time is right you could foster a cat? No freezing winter walks with a cat and they are happy enough left alone over night once in awhile.

[4horses]

Maybe a cat would be easier? I hate an empty house and like walking in and getting greeted by friendly faces.

[furlong47]

I agree that maybe just a cat(s) might be a good option. I love dogs more, but cats just fit my lifestyle better. I’m often away from the house most of the day or even for the night/weekend, and as long as certain things are prepared such as extra food/litter, my cat can take care of himself for longer periods, unlike a dog. Fostering dogs could be an option too because you would (in theory) have them for shorter periods and could take breaks in between dogs if you wanted. Or maybe just take a pet break for a few months. I only keep one big pet at a time, so I usually do this when one passes so I can take some longer trips etc without having to worry about care. When I feel ready, usually about 6-8 months, I start looking for the next one.

[2DogsFarm]

So sorry for your losses.
A local shelter here has a Seniors for Seniors program that places dogs & cats to anyone 55+ free. Neutered, tested - FeLu/FIV, dogs? - & microchipped.
I just adopted a 2nd cat from this program.
Not sure I could foster I get attached pretty quick.
But if you can, it’s a wonderful way for pets to get out of a shelter environment, no matter how luxe that might be.

[KBC]

That might be something to explore here!

[2DogsFarm]

Forgot to add:
This shelter considers 6yo a Sr animal.
1st cat I got from them was 10, 2nd is 6.
Lost #1 to kidney issues after just a year, so it really felt more like a long-term foster.
#2 they considered a Foster to Adopt because he’d already been returned twice for litterbox problems. As explained to me his “high stream” would miss the box.
So far, a month in, a covered box seems to be the answer. Though he also.uses my original box & so far, so good.

[shiloh]

I’m so sorry for your losses. And I get that it’s hard to walk into an empty house and no happy furry little faces are there to greet you. I’m like you - I don’t know what I would do without a pet. I think you will be lucky and the right cat or dog will appear. Just like Enzo appeared after Braam.

[luvmyhackney]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I wouldn’t make any big decisions right now, just process where you are and really communicate with DH to see what you both want.

[NancyM]

You need to get two kittens, out of the same litter. At least two. The spca will be happy to see you walk in the door. And you will be happy too.

[TWH_Girl]

Agree on kittens or two bonded cats. so much love, snuggles and entertainment lol.
Loving animals and people is hard because we all die at some point. It’s the hardest part of life. The only remedy is more love

[cayuse]

I think you are right! The right one is just out there waiting for the right time.

[KBC]

I totally believe in that. We bought Badger, the JRT, as a pup, but everyone else for ever, have just ended up with us, the dumped, the last straw, the thrown out of a moving car….maybe my purpose is to love the “unlovable” for some of their life…

DH is out, the house is silent….so weird.

[cayuse]

Aww, they look so happy, and look at that little adorable face. Most of my animals have shown up via fate. They all worked out None were perfect and some where very far from it, but all were loved. Fingers crossed for you that someone is “waiting in the wings” for their moment to appear.

[Fiesta01]

Big hugs to you and so sorry for all your losses. I totally understand your feelings, as I got divorced, lost our two cats and my horse within a couple year span. The last loss, of my horse, happened in early 2020 just before Covid lockdowns began.

My life plan since my 30s was to not get any new animals after age 60. Whatever animals I would have at 60, when they passed, that would be it. I then had plans to travel a lot without the worries of finding good animal care.

In 2020, suddenly, it was just me, an empty house and nowhere to go. I was in a deep depression but kept going because of good friends and plans to travel when Covid would become manageable for an immuno-compromised person.

After my first international trip after Covid in 2023 (doctor wouldn’t give me the OK until then due to my lupus), I suddenly and unexpectedly became a cat mom again. I was spending 2-3 months for the holidays with my ex, who had adopted two cats. After one visit, his female cat went into a depression when I left. She was always my bedbug when I was there.

He and his vet talked, and he asked if I would bring her home to CA with me. I loved her and couldn’t say no. It has made travel more complicated, but I wouldn’t trade her for all the money in the world.

If it’s meant to happen for you, I believe that animal will find you, and you’ll immediately know it’s right.

Will be keeping you, and your husband, in my thoughts. Hang in there.

[Fiesta01]

The little scamp, named Sassy, in her normal evening, watching TV together posture. She’ll sleep for a while, then I’ll feel her paw on my arm wanting to be petted. So, I’ll pet for a while, and she’ll fall back to sleep with her head resting on my hand.

No, we’re not too spoiled.

[2DogsFarm]

Agree on the number, but they don’t need to be related.
My 2 came from the same shelter, but one was kept at a different location. Both were around 6mos when I adopted, became BF(eline)Fs, even though 1 spent the 1st 4 YEARS hiding in my basement.
Once he came up - not his choice, I needed work done & had to livetrap him - he was still MIA to me for another year.
But the last 4yrs he spent like this:
(Fugitive was the fat, orange guy)

[NancyM]

My orange guy looks just like yours. My point was that it’s easier to just get kittens at the same time, from the same litter. My orange guy, Perry, showed up here as a feral stallion cat… an orange streak through the bush was the first thing I saw. For the first few weeks, that was all I saw. We had another feral long haired tortie living in the barn, who had just had kittens (before I could get her trapped and spayed). I believe she had been bred by her brother, who the neighbours ended up shooting (because he was looking to fight with every other cat he saw). The kittens were marvelous though, I hand raised them when I could catch them, and found homes for them. Perry moved into the barn, and took up residence with with Mottle, the feral female in the barn. She never did get tame. Mottle and Perry became great friends. They lived in the barns together, sleeping together deep in the hay piles. They went everywhere together. Perry slowly became more trusting of humans, over time. Mottle watched Perry enjoy being petted on a hay bale, and eventually she also accepted my touch, just a little bit. I got a new kitten from the SPCA , a male calico, who we named Prickle. Prickle was in the house. Perry noticed that we had a new kitten, and came to the sliding glass door to view the kitten. He wanted to come in and meet the kitten. About this time, a coyote GOT Mottle (we presume), she was gone. Perry came into the house, because he wanted to be with Prickle. But he wouldn’t STAY in the house, he’d arrive at my bedroom window and howl to come in, stay for an hour or so, then howl and beat on the glass to go out again. I’d let him out. In the morning, a dead mouse was left outside my bedroom sliding glass door. But over time, he stayed longer indoors. He was afraid of being kicked by a humans, and he was afraid of being slammed in doorways. I suspect that his source was our OTHER neighbours. He was afraid of humans other than us. That was ten years ago. He and Prickle now are house cats together, and sleep in each other’s arms, in bed. But it doesn’t always work out like this. It’s far easier and with a higher chance of success to simply get two kittens from the same litter, at the same time. Or three kittens, if taking two will leave one behind, alone. Especially if you are in the situation of NEEDING cats, as the OP. Sorry for the essay LOL. Cat politics are always a crapshoot.

[MunchingonHay]

I am so sorry for your loss. Coming home to an empty, quiet home is hard and it hurts.

I am team foster when you are ready. My best friend fosters kittens and young cats for a rescue group and as long as she lets them know when she can’t have cats in the house (vacation, etc) the work with her schedule. She has fostered and help place dozens of young cats in 3 yrs. The fosters get their own room in the house since she has a half dozen of her own cats; but its easy for her to pop in a few times a day to feed, clean up, and play with the little furballs. She loves it. And she has only foster failed 3 times!!