Please help

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;7961599]
You’ve ridden her …twice.

In two years.

ETA:
Wait, hang on, I just realized OP has not just one, but two horses.

My favorite thing in the WORLD is when people have “no money for training” because they have so many horses they can’t provide a proper situation for any of them.

I could have 10 horses for the price of one if I kept them all in a muddy field with a barb wire fence and 2 flakes of extra hay per day and never put shoes on and didn’t bother with saddle fit or providing them proper training or educating myself. Amazingly though if you cut down on the number of horses on your tab and focus on the quality of care provided you might have a saddle that fits well enough that you don’t actually injure your horse and you might have enough left over to actually get some training, and not be standing in the field going why is my horse’s back oozing and btw I’m scared to get on.[/QUOTE]

hahahaha my word you are pretty funny :wink: course i can have two horses,there a problem with that???i only have a confidence issue with the new one…!the one with fistulous withers…and money isnt an issue,its my parents that lay down the law and say its not necessary :frowning: and i DEFINITELY give them more than 2 flakes of hay,like REALLY!!and they are NOT in a muddy pasture…!we have a shelter/barn for them,they PREFER the pasture to the dry,warmer barn!!just watch them in a rain storm!!!and they hate shoes!they do NOT need to be shod!and her back is NOOOTTT oozing!!!we caught that fistula in time Lol! and duh,I’m not getting on if she’s hurt!!!wake up!!! :slight_smile: not every horse prefers to babied;my horse wants to be a HORSe!! :slight_smile: and my saddle ahem didnt injure my horse ;)and I still am learning,I am eager to learn!but if someone is going to scoff at me,I’d prefer you keep your mouth shut,fine if you dont,but I can smart mouth anyone as good as you just did!Sure,I may be outta place,but only if u were!!!I’m a horse-person,always will be,and I do whats right!and if there’s not a way,I MAKE a way!!like they say,“if theres a will,THERES A WAY!” sure not everything works out,but for now,I’m cruising in low gear right now,looking for groundwork and exercises to work and bond with her.there’s no reason to sell her right now,and I do have a proper place for both my horses thank you!!!

[QUOTE=NoSuchPerson;7961651]
The only advice I have for you is to become a better rider. The more confident you are in your riding ability, the more confident you’re going to feel when you get on strange horses. If I’ve understood you correctly, you do have another horse that you can ride while your new horse is recovering, so get out there and ride her. Ride her as often and in as many ways as you can. Ride every day, even if you’ve only got time for 15 minutes in the saddle or a 5 minute bareback ride around the pen. Ride.

You say lessons are out. OK, fine, then get some good books. Get some good magazines. Study the pictures. Get someone to video you while riding. Everybody has a cell phone that takes videos these days. Watch the video. Compare what you see with the book and magazine pictures and videos of good riders you can find online. How do you compare? What are you doing differently? What do you need to do to look more like those pictures and videos?[/QUOTE]

thank you!u bet i will ride my horse…yah I havent been able to ride her for awhile,the weather has been real bad,and dont have an indoor arena much less any kind of arena. I’ve been wanting to ride,but hasnt happened.Love bareback,so much more connection.Thanks!:slight_smile:

Quit saying you want to ‘bond’ with her. You want to become more confident handling horses, period.

We are not playing my little pony here, we are handling a 1000+lb animal that can and will mow you over if it sees fit.

I 3rd printing out this thread to show to your parents. They are complete morons and looking to not have a child anymore if they refuse to allow you lessons. You need to hang out at a barn and learn from the trainers and grooms there. You don’t have to ‘work’ as in getting paid, but you can help out doing stalls, etc, and learn more than you would solely taking lessons. This will help you become a very well-rounded horse woman and finally understand where we are all coming from with our very solid, advice.

You cannot just go romp around in your backyard and expect to get far effectively.

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;7961665]
You aren’t allowed except magically in March when training is allowed.

They don’t cost money? Really? Was the fisula wither call free then?

They are your life but not enough your life to get a job.

At some point you are going to expect this horse to literally carry you around and work for you.

You should ask yourself what you have done to earn it from her.[/QUOTE]

nope aint “magical” lol. its free,thats the only reason. and the fistula thing haha well my dad wanted to know for sure if she was hurt…!kinda like an emergency!!and of COURSE i dont expect her to carry me around and “work” for me!!sure I’m goin to ride her,but thats not all!my horses would hate me if all i did was expect them to carry me around!i dont care about the riding part of my horses as much,its the bond that we have!!I’m not a workhorse slave driver type of person sorry and as far as the job?well theres another oppurtunity and if i’m for sure not goin to be able to work there,then here comes the store :slight_smile: every bit of money helps :slight_smile:

[QUOTE=RxCate;7961676]
Quit saying you want to ‘bond’ with her. You want to become more confident handling horses, period.

We are not playing my little pony here, we are handling a 1000+lb animal that can and will mow you over if it sees fit.

I 3rd printing out this thread to show to your parents. They are complete morons and looking to not have a child anymore if they refuse to allow you lessons. You need to hang out at a barn and learn from the trainers and grooms there. You don’t have to ‘work’ as in getting paid, but you can help out doing stalls, etc, and learn more than you would solely taking lessons. This will help you become a very well-rounded horse woman and finally understand where we are all coming from with our very solid, advice.

You cannot just go romp around in your backyard and expect to get far effectively.[/QUOTE]

you cant call my parents morons sorry :slight_smile: and hahahahaha course i want to bond with my horse and be more confident! :slight_smile: lol romp around in my backyard??ok i’m more grown up than THAT!!! :smiley: hahahaha

[QUOTE=RxCate;7961676]
Quit saying you want to ‘bond’ with her. You want to become more confident handling horses, period.

We are not playing my little pony here, we are handling a 1000+lb animal that can and will mow you over if it sees fit.

I 3rd printing out this thread to show to your parents. They are complete morons and looking to not have a child anymore if they refuse to allow you lessons. You need to hang out at a barn and learn from the trainers and grooms there. You don’t have to ‘work’ as in getting paid, but you can help out doing stalls, etc, and learn more than you would solely taking lessons. This will help you become a very well-rounded horse woman and finally understand where we are all coming from with our very solid, advice.

You cannot just go romp around in your backyard and expect to get far effectively.[/QUOTE]

and like i said,i’m simply not allowed to hang out at the barn(NOT a lesson barn,at least, not that I’m aware of) (which is 20 min away) too far for my parents

Haven’t read all of this but I’m going to put on a few different “hats,” so to speak and offer you some advice, OP…

  1. As a parent who is also a lifelong horsewoman and mom to a 14 yo who has ridden all her life…I cannot imagine denying her professional help with a 1000lb animal. Yes, it is expensive…doing this horse thing correctly and safely is not cheap. It can go very, very wrong in the blink of an eye and it JUST NOT WORTH IT. My daughter developed some MAJOR confidence issues when she was about 5 1/2 years old. She had been riding since she could sit on a horse…had shown and was very comfortable in the barn, etc. Her naughty pony bit her one afternoon, though, and that was it…she was DONE (if you’ve ever seen the youtube video “Ed Being Naughty”…well, Pig Pen isn’t that dirty but he’s clever and used to be a horrible brat). Then one day when she was about 10 she decided she wanted to ride again, but NOT any of our critters (and she had 2 VERY nice critters at her disposal). She had to get her confidence back at another farm…with another instructor, on retired FEI horses, in a totally different environment…my daughter now works in exchange for lessons, will ride/handle anything handed to her (and do so quite capably, I might add). BUT NONE OF THIS WOULD BE THE CASE IF SHE HAD NOT HAD THE HELP AWAY FROM HOME. This may not be your case…after all we’re not there with you, we’re just folks on an Internet bulletin board.

  2. As a rider who has had a traumatic brain injury this past year…perhaps you could help your parents understand the risks you take. Not to be fear mongering but maybe I know of the sort of parents you have. My father was raised on a farm with work horses…he thinks he’s Matt Dillon (from Gunsmoke) and knows just enough to get himself into real trouble. He learned how to “ride” (ahem, stay on the horse most of the time) so why should a professional’s help be warranted for his kid? I had 2 concussions coming off my first pony (who was pretty rank when we first got her) before my dad gave in and my parents spent the money on a helmet! (After all, they never had helmets on the farm and Matt Dillon doesn’t wear one either). Beyond that, I found ways to work off lessons, etc. when I was younger…see if there is a “barn rat” situation in your area. You will learn a lot and it will help your confidence issues when you are more clear about what you know and what you don’t know. We don’t know what we don’t know and some of that stuff we NEED to know in order to take care of business without getting into trouble.

3.) As a middle school teacher (& sometimes horseback riding instructor) - honor the confidence issues…perhaps it’s that little inner voice confirming for you that the professional help is needed. That Little Voice is the same one that helps keep us safe sometimes…but can also keep us from trying new things, etc. You’ve got to figure out a way to effectively address it. Since you are limited b/c of your age as to some of the ways you can deal with the confidence issues, remember that just being with your horse while it recovers from the fistulous withers can help you bond and overcome some of the confidence issues. But as others have said, the help from knowledgeable horse people (professional trainers or just solid horse folk) is invaluable…and cannot really be done over the Internet. You need hands on help.

At your age you are stuck between a rock and a hard place if your parents are unwilling to support you in your quest for help. I know, my daughter is 14 - can’t drive herself places, we live too far from the Civilized World for her to ride a bike or walk to our trainer’s farm… BUT for safety’s sake, do some out of the box brainstorming and pursue options. There are solutions - sometimes it just takes perseverance to come up with 'em! Good luck!!

[QUOTE=Mosey_2003;7961654]
You said you were allowed to work in a store you don’t like. I would take the opportunity anyway.

And they don’t cost money? Your whole series of posts revolves around how they cost your parents money, thus they don’t want to pay for you to take lessons. They cost money every day, even if you don’t see it. Feed, fence, using the tractor to move manure, this all costs money.[/QUOTE]

yes and working in the store…that is an idea my dad is just toying with…he’s not sure if i will even be allowed.like i said,there’s another oppurtinity and if that dont work out,then the store!every bit helps,right? move manure…i dont live in any barn or fancy thing!and feed…the only thing we got is sweet feed…which we use as a treat,so not very often…and hay…thats off our property…

Where did it say the OP had only ridden her other horse twice in 2 years? And I get the impression that the OP’s parents are either terrifically ignorant of horses, or perhaps are not as involved as they could be. I’m trying to say this tastefully.

To the OP:

You sound like the standard 15 year old girl that is horse obsessed, whose parents know nothing about horses. It also sounds like your horses live outside in a pasture- where are you located? Just a state is fine, or an area. NOT your address. So your parents got you a horse instead of riding lessons because “it was cheaper.” Unfortunately, that is like not knowing how to swim but buying a boat because you like being in the water. I know lots of people do that, but it is potentially very dangerous. However, lots of people do it and are fine, with the help of older, saintly, laid-back horses. Lots of people do it and get really hurt too though.

WHY did you get another horse? What was wrong with just riding cowgirl? If Cowgirl is safe and you are comfortable with her, and your parents will not help you with lessons, you should probably just keep riding her. If you want to progress with your riding and ride other horses, you really should take lessons.

I would encourage you to value your education, both in the horse world and at school. Those things are what will bring you success both with horses and in life.

[QUOTE=Finzean;7961694]
Haven’t read all of this but I’m going to put on a few different “hats,” so to speak and offer you some advice, OP…

  1. As a parent who is also a lifelong horsewoman and mom to a 14 yo who has ridden all her life…I cannot imagine denying her professional help with a 1000lb animal. Yes, it is expensive…doing this horse thing correctly and safely is not cheap. It can go very, very wrong in the blink of an eye and it JUST NOT WORTH IT. My daughter developed some MAJOR confidence issues when she was about 5 1/2 years old. She had been riding since she could sit on a horse…had shown and was very comfortable in the barn, etc. Her naughty pony bit her one afternoon, though, and that was it…she was DONE (if you’ve ever seen the youtube video “Ed Being Naughty”…well, Pig Pen isn’t that dirty but he’s clever and used to be a horrible brat). Then one day when she was about 10 she decided she wanted to ride again, but NOT any of our critters (and she had 2 VERY nice critters at her disposal). She had to get her confidence back at another farm…with another instructor, on retired FEI horses, in a totally different environment…my daughter now works in exchange for lessons, will ride/handle anything handed to her (and do so quite capably, I might add). BUT NONE OF THIS WOULD BE THE CASE IF SHE HAD NOT HAD THE HELP AWAY FROM HOME. This may not be your case…after all we’re not there with you, we’re just folks on an Internet bulletin board.

  2. As a rider who has had a traumatic brain injury this past year…perhaps you could help your parents understand the risks you take. Not to be fear mongering but maybe I know of the sort of parents you have. My father was raised on a farm with work horses…he thinks he’s Matt Dillon (from Gunsmoke) and knows just enough to get himself into real trouble. He learned how to “ride” (ahem, stay on the horse most of the time) so why should a professional’s help be warranted for his kid? I had 2 concussions coming off my first pony (who was pretty rank when we first got her) before my dad gave in and my parents spent the money on a helmet! (After all, they never had helmets on the farm and Matt Dillon doesn’t wear one either). Beyond that, I found ways to work off lessons, etc. when I was younger…see if there is a “barn rat” situation in your area. You will learn a lot and it will help your confidence issues when you are more clear about what you know and what you don’t know. We don’t know what we don’t know and some of that stuff we NEED to know in order to take care of business without getting into trouble.

3.) As a middle school teacher (& sometimes horseback riding instructor) - honor the confidence issues…perhaps it’s that little inner voice confirming for you that the professional help is needed. That Little Voice is the same one that helps keep us safe sometimes…but can also keep us from trying new things, etc. You’ve got to figure out a way to effectively address it. Since you are limited b/c of your age as to some of the ways you can deal with the confidence issues, remember that just being with your horse while it recovers from the fistulous withers can help you bond and overcome some of the confidence issues. But as others have said, the help from knowledgeable horse people (professional trainers or just solid horse folk) is invaluable…and cannot really be done over the Internet. You need hands on help.

At your age you are stuck between a rock and a hard place if your parents are unwilling to support you in your quest for help. I know, my daughter is 14 - can’t drive herself places, we live too far from the Civilized World for her to ride a bike or walk to our trainer’s farm… BUT for safety’s sake, do some out of the box brainstorming and pursue options. There are solutions - sometimes it just takes perseverance to come up with 'em! Good luck!![/QUOTE]

thank you!!i’m glad you see where I am stuck at :confused: I am thinking of buying a Sylvia Scott Whispering Way DVD series,as I had asked her for help to,she recommended that,and I feel that that is the way to go! :slight_smile: I could watch it over and over again,and be able to see the whole thing,hear the trainer’s insights,and itd just be what i want.thank you!

Wish, Kwill has had some very good advice for you here. You are young, and learning, and that’s a good thing.

I’m 51 and when I was a kid I wanted a horse very much. My parents told me that when I could earn enough money to buy and support a horse then I could get one. I was so disappointed but I appreciate that now. I finally got my first horse at the age of 21, but I sure rode and learned and worked with horses every day until then.

In some ways you have your horses before your skills, whereas I was able to bicycle (yep - another bicycle) to a little barn 10 miles away from my house and I cleaned stalls and worked around the farm in exchange for riding lessons. It was GREAT! In time I was able to work enough that I got a car ride home or did extra chores around the house to get a ride out in the winter. By the time I bought my first horse I had good confidence in handling and riding. I still took lessons as even now, when I don’t ride anymore, the learning never stops.

These things are possible - but it sure takes effort.

As others have said, fistulous withers is a very serious condition. Looking into all the causes is important because you won’t want this to occur again.

If you want to just play with your horses, that’s OK. I played a lot as a kid. Learned a lot. Fell off. Made mistakes. But it’s very important to get instruction as well and that’s most important for your horse’s sake.

I’m glad you posted here. There is a wealth of information here and you can learn a lot. Go over this and re-read Kwill’s posts - and Meups too. She’s a bit more aggressive in her comments but she’s got good advice there too.

Moving manure, i.e. cleaning the pastures up, is basic horse care… You keep digging that hole girl.

And yes, I certainly can call ANY parents morons to allow their inexperienced teen handle an animal that she has no business trying to ‘train’.

If you father is such the horseman why isn’t he giving you lessons himself?

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961646]
I’m still not allowed tho!Why would i sell my horses…?they dont cost money :slight_smile: and they are my life just about! To me,there is nothing better than seeing them at the end of the day[/QUOTE]

How don’t they cost any money?!? Who trims her feet, teeth, vacc’s, etc, etc…

That statement alone makes me worry for the horse…

You have stated you cant get the vet back out, so even for emergency or injuries, the horse seems to get neglected… Sigh.

[QUOTE=Ruth0552;7961697]
Where did it say the OP had only ridden her other horse twice in 2 years? And I get the impression that the OP’s parents are either terrifically ignorant of horses, or perhaps are not as involved as they could be. I’m trying to say this tastefully.

To the OP:

You sound like the standard 15 year old girl that is horse obsessed, whose parents know nothing about horses. It also sounds like your horses live outside in a pasture- where are you located? Just a state is fine, or an area. NOT your address. So your parents got you a horse instead of riding lessons because “it was cheaper.” Unfortunately, that is like not knowing how to swim but buying a boat because you like being in the water. I know lots of people do that, but it is potentially very dangerous. However, lots of people do it and are fine, with the help of older, saintly, laid-back horses. Lots of people do it and get really hurt too though.

WHY did you get another horse? What was wrong with just riding cowgirl? If Cowgirl is safe and you are comfortable with her, and your parents will not help you with lessons, you should probably just keep riding her. If you want to progress with your riding and ride other horses, you really should take lessons.

I would encourage you to value your education, both in the horse world and at school. Those things are what will bring you success both with horses and in life.[/QUOTE]

Course I’m horse crazy :slight_smile: but I am reality-minded too.Well,I had basic riding lessons (you could call them that, it was fun too!! ;))at a friends house for more than 2 years before I got my horse.so,yeah,it wasnt like jumping in without knowing how to swim :slight_smile: there isnt anything wrong with cowgirl.our parents got us another horse so us sisters wouldnt hav to share and so we can go riding-together. or with friends! and Cowgirl is youger than the horse I just got.and I live in MT.why?

[QUOTE=Shermy;7961714]
How don’t they cost any money?!? Who trims her feet, teeth, vacc’s, etc, etc…

That statement alone makes me worry for the horse…

You have stated you cant get the vet back out, so even for emergency or injuries, the horse seems to get neglected… Sigh.[/QUOTE]

Um i never ever EVER said we cant get a vet out for the emergency :slight_smile: i said my parents think that THAT would be necessary,not training :slight_smile: and yes we trim her feet…she is so NOT neglected!! :slight_smile: my dad just thinks that we’ll be able to tell ourselves if she’s better or not

Wish, I’m sorry some of the people on this board seem so determined to be so snarky to you instead of offering some advice you can really use. Please try not to stoop to their level by snarking back (difficult I know).

For anyone who’s interested, here’s some information about fistulous withers (read down the page): http://www.merckmanuals.com/vet/musculoskeletal_system/arthropathies_in_large_animals/bursitis_in_large_animals.html

As explained in the article, it’s NOT an abscess, it’s a bursitis and secondary infection occurs only after it ruptures or is opened.

[QUOTE=RxCate;7961710]
Moving manure, i.e. cleaning the pastures up, is basic horse care… You keep digging that hole girl.

And yes, I certainly can call ANY parents morons to allow their inexperienced teen handle an animal that she has no business trying to ‘train’.

If you father is such the horseman why isn’t he giving you lessons himself?[/QUOTE]

hahahaha girl urself…I’m not trying to train her!!!oMW whered i say that??? :smiley: and he isnt a horseman!!he had a pony and a few horses when he was younger,never said he was a horseman :wink: and if he would be,he’d be too busy.someone’s gotta make a livin

[QUOTE=zipperfoot;7961725]
Wish, I’m sorry some of the people on this board seem so determined to be so snarky to you instead of offering some advice you can really use. Please try not to stoop to their level by snarking back (difficult I know).

For anyone who’s interested, here’s some information about fistulous withers (read down the page): http://www.merckmanuals.com/vet/musculoskeletal_system/arthropathies_in_large_animals/bursitis_in_large_animals.html

As explained in the article, it’s NOT an abscess, it’s a bursitis and secondary infection occurs only after it ruptures or is opened.[/QUOTE]

Thank you :slight_smile: I’m glad you decided to be nice :frowning: :)ok i’ll try :wink: have a great day!!thanks for that article!!

Every long weekend needs a trainwreck, driven by trolls… Just sayin’

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961706]
thank you!!i’m glad you see where I am stuck at :confused: I am thinking of buying a Sylvia Scott Whispering Way DVD series,as I had asked her for help to,she recommended that,and I feel that that is the way to go! :slight_smile: I could watch it over and over again,and be able to see the whole thing,hear the trainer’s insights,and itd just be what i want.thank you![/QUOTE]

I see where you are stuck…but a DVD is NOT going to cut it…in many ways those self help things just make stuff much. more. dangerous. Take what you would spend having Amazon send you that DVD and put it toward a legit lesson.

The Crash & Burn of 2014 - the one that cracked my helmet in half and left me w/the TBI - has left me with MAJOR confidence issues. But I have the help of a top shelf trainer and very successful equine sports psychologist alongside a lifetime of working as a professional groom for trainers at the top of the game, experience in a variety of different disciplines and with about every kind of horse you can imagine…all these things contribute to me EFFECTIVELY and safely dealing with the confidence issue. You’ve got a lot of irons in the fire for the confidence issue to be the only thing to be addressed - you can’t fix this one thing without addressing the other. Your parents need to look at this through a different lens…you NEED outside help. You NEED them to support equipping you to be a solid horsewoman with skills that will keep you and your critters safe & sound. I’ve gone back through this and read most of the thread. Please realize that you are on a BB with some folks who are RIDICULOUSLY WELL EDUCATED HORSEMEN/WOMEN. There is NO can’t and no one is interested in excuses…stop poo-pooing proffered solutions with “can’t.” There are a million ways to Sunday to safely keep horses but be careful when you are typing your responses so that you say what you mean and mean what you say…and have a little respect. (e.g. the thing about shoes…I doubt your horses “don’t like shoes”…maybe they don’t like being shod?? If that’s the case, then that’s what you type…sounds picky but respect the knowledge on here - nonsense isn’t tolerated and BS is ferreted out rather quickly. One the other hand, COTHers cut the kid a little slack. Sometimes youngins’ aren’t even sure exactly how to effectively frame up what they are trying to say…hopefully this youngin isn’t like that nut that was on here some years ago asking for help and starving her horse(s)…what was her name???

Anyway…having said all that, where is my popcorn and cardbordeaux…