Please help

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

Hi, I am new to the forums and I have some questions…figured I better make my signing up useful! First, I am wondering: What are some great ideas for groundwork to help build my confidence with my new horse? She is recovering slowly but surely from fistulous withers. I also feel like that with other peoples’ horses, and would love any advice to help with regaining and feeling confident.

      However, I am not in an area in which I can take lessons, or have a trainer come work with me. PM me, or post if you have any kind advice. Thank you!
 p.s. No rude answers please. Thank you :)

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Cowgirl tuff

Long live the cowgirl!

[meupatdoes]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961215]
I am not allowed to take riding lessons,or have a trainer come help.[/QUOTE]

If this is true and unchangeable, sell the horse.

Part of horseownership is consistently getting the help and developing the skills to successfully create and maintain a relationship with your horse. Currently your riding situation is clearly not working, and it is not going to get better unless you commit to getting actual, non-internet help.

If you are not able to do that then there is no point in having a horse, unless you plan to keep it as an unridden pasture pet. At this point it does not sound like you have the resources or the permission to maintain the program that would be necessary for you and this horse to be successful.

[quietann]

Paragraphs, please ??? (it’s a common rant around here; keep in mind a lot of us are older.)

Anyway… Waiting for a horse to get well is tough! BTDT and I used the time to get to know her better, take her for walks, etc. You need to be careful about what you do; there might be ground work that would cause the mare pain until she is healed. But in the meantime you can teach her some very basic verbal commands from the ground – “walk on” “halt” “back” and “turn” (away and towards, but concentrate on away because it’s harder, and reinforces the idea that you are in charge.) If she doesn’t lead well from both sides, teach her to lead from the side she isn’t used to. Even if she’s been taught those things already, it never hurts to reinforce them. A horse that will just.stop. when you say WHOA from anywhere is a wonderful thing.

When she stops being touchy about her withers — really stops — THAT is the time to try getting on her. Be patient and you’ll have better results.

I do recommend riding other horses in the meantime. You can really get into a rut with just one horse to ride, and you will learn so much by riding other horses. This is a “do as I say, not as I do” because I’ve really only been on my horse for the past 3 years or so.

I really hope you can get out of the “no lessons” condition, which seems really weird to me; EVERYONE can benefit from lessons; even the highest level, most skilled riders take lessons! “Eyes on the ground” will detect all kinds of things that you don’t realize you are doing, or not doing. If you trust your riding friends and taking lessons is REALLY not an option, get one who knows what they are doing to watch you ride. BTDT too when I was taking lessons on school horses at places that sometimes had breaks of a month or two between lesson “sessions”; I had access to a friend’s horse and she was very helpful.

[LSMarnell]

Oh, I see you have this in two different forums. I replied to your post in the western forum.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

Well,it is true but it can be changed.I’d love to hear any advice of how to gain confidence! I cant just give up…I’m not that kind of person,and I love that horse to death,I need a confidence booster. And I’m trying to find it. I hate feeling like I dont know a horse,dont know why it bugs me so much.That,in turn,makes me feel uncomfortable…any advice? That horse is practically perfect,so not sure why I feel like this!!Guess I’m afraid I’ll mess up and ruin her.Not sure why I would,but that is just how i feel!are there any trainers (or anyone) on here that would know how to help me?

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

thank you @quietann ! I’m sorry,I tried to do paragraphs,but was in a hurry, my apologies!! Yes,I hope i can do lessons…my parents insist that I are fine here and that I am good enough I want to learn,they dont understand that I guess.
But in March,a really good friend somehow worked it out that we go up with our horses to our arena,for a 3-day training camp!!I am really excited,my parents acted like they wouldnt mind!!so yeah,cross your fingers…

[toady123]

Gaining horsemanship skills from a competent trainer is really the best way to gain confidence - as you develop ‘tools’ to manage your horse you will feel better able to tackle issues and challenges. Reading books could also be helpful, but does not compare to actual eyes on the ground IMO.

You have not mentioned why you are unable to take lessons - I would start there. Can you discuss this with your parents? If you need to convince them, I would ensure you highlight that it benefits you in terms of skills development but is also critical to your safety.

Good luck!

[Kwill]

Ok – first things first. Fistulous withers are often caused by exposure to cattle with brucellosis. If your horse is still around those cattle, she should be moved. It can also be caused by traumatic injury, so you might want to check your tack for correct fit.

Go on you tube and find some videos on saddle fit, or visit your local library for books/videos.

This poor mare sounds like she’s had a rough time, probably before you purchased her. Please have the vet give her a thorough vet check, like a purchase check, before you start her under saddle again.

You have to ask yourself, why are you not confident? What can you learn to make yourself more confident. Go off the farm for lessons on another horse, with a good instructor, to learn more so you don’t feel that you will ruin your horse.

Books and videos can be helpful. Buck Brannaman has given me a lot of help in ground work and handling, his philosophy makes sense to me. It’s not the methods so much as the ideas. Other natural horsemanship people, maybe not so much. But any good trainer knows these things and practices them.

Horses are herd animals and like to have a leader. That’s you. Keep her out of your space. She moves her feet, you don’t move yours. When you ask her to move out of your space, she should do it. Don’t let her move into your space and push you out of the way. That’s kind of it in a nutshell.

if the horse is trained, as you say, then she knows these things and you have to reinforce it. There’s no need for violent force, but confidence is essential.

Once you feel you can move her around at your will, your confidence will increase. Get to know how horses think, and then you won’t be as confused. Pop culture trainers won’t help, but real horsemen will.

Start slowly. Move her around when you are grooming. Require her to lead next to you, without going ahead or lagging behind. Pick up her feet. Stand still as long as you want her to. Things like that help a great deal.

[meupatdoes]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961331]
are there any trainers (or anyone) on here that would know how to help me?[/QUOTE]

Yes there are plenty of trainers who would know how to help you but the problem is you have to pay them to come out and work with you and your horse for it to do any good.

Consider getting a job with which you can earn your own money and spend it without having to comply with your parents’ say so.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

@toady123 thank you yes I have talked it over many times :’( They stick to the all-around “It costs too much money”,“We dont have time”, “You’re good enough”, and “we’ve gotten you everything else (such as horse,tack,and the necessities,which has been for birthday and christmas,usually hav had to make do with what I’ve had) so why do you want more?” they bring that up every time I’ve mentioned riding lessons…its seriously like talking to a brick wall.very frustrating!

[emipou]

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;7961385]
Yes there are plenty of trainers who would know how to help you but the problem is you have to pay them to come out and work with you and your horse for it to do any good.

Consider getting a job with which you can earn your own money and spend it without having to comply with your parents’ say so.[/QUOTE]

While I didn’t have a horse as a kid, I still earned a lot of my horsie money. My first lessons were a christmas gift I think. By then I had the “fever” but my parents could not afford it. I worked for most of my horsie stuff after that. My breeches, my lessons, my boots, all were paid for by helping at the barn or working odd summer jobs. Find a trainer who will let you work at their barn in exchange for lessons. You will learn SO much this way, it’s a win-win-win-WIN situation!

[Kwill]

Just don’t run into the situation the other young lady did as a working student with all that stuff with purchasing 3/4s of a horse and other nonsense!

If you can’t drive yourself, it’s tough to get to other barns, so hopefully you have transportation. If not, sounds like you might be able to go with friends and watch lessons or clinics?

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

thank you!@kwill well she was never around cattle…not even here.the vet says he doesnt know where it came from,the lady we got her from couldn’t ride her often,so that was the reason she had her up for sale.I’m going to do my best to get the vet back out here…
Ok I’ll check out that Buck Brannaman!I’ve heard of him,havent really seen what he is like yet!how do I get her to lead right with me?She walks with me,but she refuses to trot when I run!I have heard of using a longer whip to tap them when they lag,but I dont want her running over me,she is also really good with personal space.

[meupatdoes]

[QUOTE=emipou;7961391]
While I didn’t have a horse as a kid, I still earned a lot of my horsie money. My first lessons were a christmas gift I think. By then I had the “fever” but my parents could not afford it. I worked for most of my horsie stuff after that. My breeches, my lessons, my boots, all were paid for by helping at the barn or working odd summer jobs. Find a trainer who will let you work at their barn in exchange for lessons. You will learn SO much this way, it’s a win-win-win-WIN situation![/QUOTE]

Agreed.
After the age of 15 I actually funded my own horsey endeavors entirely.

I did not own my first horse until I bought my own as a senior in college, but even when I started owning horses I worked off additional lessons and catch rides. I was always working on getting “a list” to ride, and hoping that the trainer’s eyes would fall upon me while riding said list. I got a very high level riding education at excellent show barns and at least 50% if not 75% of it was free, on horses that were much nicer than what I owned myself.

So, not trying to be a jerk here but OP’s plan is not going to work.
If OP wants different results she will have to do different things.
Not impossible things, just different things.

Le reality.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

ok emipou thank you so much!will try to convince my parents dont know why they are so adamant!!

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

yeah i’m not old enough to drive…yet!but yes,I’m waiting for more clinics! can’t wait til someone has one here!

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

What’s OP?

[meupatdoes]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961418]
What’s OP? :)[/QUOTE]

The red words under your user name when you open this thread.

Bikes are also a thing.
Ask me how I know.

[Kitari]

Instead of saying you want lessons to learn to ride. Tell them you want lessons to learn a discipline. Say reining for instance. You can very easily talk then and truthfully that you can’t learn that by yourself.

The best lessons I’ve ever had were with a reining trainer as well. So im biased in that department.

[Dressagelvr]

Yeah, get a job & pay for the lessons yourself.

No internet, book, or video can teach you how to ride correctly. It cannot be learned through osmosis.

If you’re scared, she’ll know it and that could be dangerous. You need experienced eyes on the ground.