Pony dreamland

[Sswor]

@atl_hunter

^this. Members who are able to look up the record will likely see that the classes and shows don’t really add up to the amount she’s quoted in the blog.

You’re forgetting about the trainer’s bill.

[APirateLooksAtForty]

@Sswor

You’re forgetting about the trainer’s bill.

And commissions. The costs absolutely do add up, it was just in rather poor taste for her to name them.

[PoochPaddock]

“That’s like saying your hair stylist has a responsibility to point out a cheaper salon.”

Not so much the cheaper part (and, as someone pointed out, hair salons aren’t huge dollar amounts) but if you go to your hair dresser and ask for a certain style that he or she KNOWS will look terrible on you, would you not expect them to speak up and sway you in another direction? I mean, they are the professional and should know that if you ask them to make your jet black curly hair into a platinum blond, pin straight style, that may not work out so well.

I think the parallel here is a trainer working with a complete beginner kid and the parents, no matter the financial situation of the parents, should lay out all the facts and goals as they are, not as the trainer wants them to be so as to make the most money in the shortest period of time. Anyone who has ever uttered the words “we need to figure out a way to grow the sport” knows that fleecing new equestrian parents is not the way to keep people around for any length of time, nor is it a way to garner good word of mouth.

I’m absolutely not taking most of the blame off of mom here, as she should have done her research about the ways of the horse world before dipping so deep into her (and her husband’s) pockets to chase goals most kids don’t reach until they’ve been riding longer, or ever, really. She sounds like a prime candidate for one of those emails asking her to receive a wire transfer on behalf of some foreign traveler stuck in a far away land who needs to have someone on this end to help split the money.

[Midge]

Re read the post. I think this did happen. She flat out says she was ignoring the costs, not that she was duped or screwed or talked into more. She said the trainer was laying out options, not that the trainer was pressing her.

[touchstone]

Without getting into whether it is appropriate or not, I think the described sum seems unfortunately plausible for a family with more than one animal showing consistently, especially if you’re including purchase prices and commissions for said animals. Between board, shipping, show fees and training fees, an A-circuit show schedule is really expensive.

[dags]

Edited to include the forgotten “T” initial that should clarify the matter. Thought context given the origin of the article would suffice

[ToTheNines]

I think people should quit speculating about what a particular trainer did or did not encourage.

I was thinking about ethics and doing the right thing, and what motivation is there? My go-to answer has always been so that you will be respected. You build a reputation and hope that when you need to rely on it, it works for you.

In this day and age, anyone can get on a keyboard and say anything. Negative things, things that hurt a reputation. Doesn’t matter if it’s true, now it’s out there. It’s just too easy for one person to spread crap all over Facebook, the Chronicle, where ever. You work years to do the right thing, build a reputation, then people make things up about you.

We all need to think more about what we say about people.

[Jenerationx]

Even if there were trainers that suggested this budget and show schedule, which we don’t know at this point, isn’t it up to mom or dad to put the brakes on if it seems out of budget?

[Midge]

@PoochPaddock

Not so much the cheaper part (and, as someone pointed out, hair salons aren’t huge dollar amounts) but if you go to your hair dresser and ask for a certain style that he or she KNOWS will look terrible on you, would you not expect them to speak up and sway you in another direction?

I don’t think they sold her inappropriate ponies, did they? I am really struggling to see how this gets put on the trainers. If people max out their credit cards, is that the fault of the stores?

[ZELLA]

I’m saddened by the level of resentment that seems to be expressed here simply because somebody else had gobs of money and spent it in arguably silly ways. I’ve never understood the chips so many get on their shoulders because somebody else has more of whatever.

I think back to my living-on-ramen post-college days where it was a struggle to live within my means, and how I ate better and got a nicer place to live when I could afford it. Most of us expand our lifestyles when our incomes improve. Though I’ll likely never reach the income plateau the author was on for awhile, it’s clear that even rich people expand their lifestyles when their incomes permit it. When life slides you the other way, belt-tightening is tough to do. If you’ve never had to do it before, I imagine it’s terrifying. I think the woman’s essay reads like a writing exercise suggested by her therapist. I think writing it probably helped her understand and cope with her new reality. I wish her well in embracing a simpler life.

I hope Ziggy loves horses forever.

[2bayboys]

@dags

Look, this lady is in no way unique to Horse Land. This type of parental unit can be found in every walk-of-life, every sport, every dance studio (hello there’s a show about it), every PTA meeting. The only difference is that when you choose to remain blindly privileged in the realm of equestrian sport you suddenly find yourself up against Big Boys with names like Springstein, Bloomberg, Gates, Jobs and good-grief how long I could go on with that list…

Dollars to donuts she looked at that early trainer, asked “How much does a good pony cost?” and trainer looked at her, laughed, and said $80,000! And from that point on by golly, this lady was going to spend $80k on a pony if it was the last thing she did.

Everybody knows you can buy your ticket to Pony Finals if you have enough to spend but most parents don’t realize that in the FIRST year of the child riding.

[AmmyHunter]

@ZELLA

I’m saddened by the level of resentment that seems to be expressed here simply because somebody else had gobs of money and spent it in arguably silly ways. I’ve never understood the chips so many get on their shoulders because somebody else has more of whatever.

I’m not seeing an overall tone of resentment/jealousy in the responses here, the responses have struck me much more as a collective eye roll/“spare us” type of reaction to the mom lamenting things like her son now having to groom his own pony. Who cares what anyone else has to spend (or doesn’t have, as the case may turn out to be)? But when someone puts these kinds of details out there and is seemingly seeking sympathy with an undercurrent of “woe is me” it’s not surprising that it would rub some people the wrong way.

[dags]

@ZELLA

I’m saddened by the level of resentment that seems to be expressed here simply because somebody else had gobs of money and spent it in arguably silly ways. I’ve never understood the chips so many get on their shoulders because somebody else has more of whatever…

But did they though? Maybe my take is incorrect - I did skim and perhaps missed mention of sudden job loss or something - but I am left with the impression that they didn’t actually have the cash for the game they were playing, and that is an entirely different ball of wax than begrudging the wealthy their wealth.

[Gardenhorse]

@ZELLA

I’m saddened by the level of resentment that seems to be expressed here simply because somebody else had gobs of money and spent it in arguably silly ways. I’ve never understood the chips so many get on their shoulders because somebody else has more of whatever.

I don’t care if someone spends gobs of money in silly ways. But I do get annoyed if they do that and then want me to feel sorry for them.

[LaurieB]

@Gardenhorse

I don’t care if someone spends gobs of money in silly ways. But I do get annoyed if they do that and then want me to feel sorry for them.

^^ This, exactly.

[ynl063w]

@dags

But did they though? Maybe my take is incorrect - I did skim and perhaps missed mention of sudden job loss or something - but I am left with the impression that they didn’t actually have the cash for the game they were playing, and that is an entirely different ball of wax than begrudging the wealthy their wealth.

This is amusing to me because the way I read the situation, I assumed that the family DID have the money to spend with regards to what they already spent (in other words, paid all the bills), but reality suddenly set in and the mother realized that they couldn’t SUSTAIN that level of spending any longer, so they had to make some big changes, but were not forced to quit the game altogether. But now I think my take is just as likely to be right (or wrong) as yours is - who really knows?

[ShootingStar]

I don’t get the resentment at all - especially toward The Plaid Horse - and calling it a magazine for the elite? I see more photos and stories of “non-elite” people and non-rated shows than any other publication out there. None of the other publications care about non-rated shows or people that aren’t named McLain or Beezie. Props to the Plaid Horse for being a magazine for everyone and for letting someone share their story.

[Pennywell_Bay]

@ShootingStar

I don’t get the resentment at all - especially toward The Plaid Horse - and calling it a magazine for the elite? I see more photos and stories of “non-elite” people and non-rated shows than any other publication out there. None of the other publications care about non-rated shows or people that aren’t named McLain or Beezie. Props to the Plaid Horse for being a magazine for everyone and for letting someone share their story.

I like the Plaid Horse, always have. But eh- she paid them to publish her story (as do others). I don’t care as that is their business model but they didn’t exactly seek this out.

[enjoytheride]

When I was dabbling in hunters I went to my first hunter show on a lesson horse. I asked my trainer about cost, point blank, but she didn’t add up ALL the costs because she assumed I knew about them. There were things like a day lease on the lesson horse I was riding (which another person also paid because they rode it as well), day care fee, etc that at the time I was unaware of. I paid the bill but I didn’t do it again because all the trainer costs were more than the entry fees for the horse and at the time I didn’t feel like my riding level was worth the financial output.

So I think it’s entirely possible for a trainer to not be totally open about costs, but after that first show you get the picture.

[dags]

@ynl063w

This is amusing to me because the way I read the situation, I assumed that the family DID have the money to spend with regards to what they already spent (in other words, paid all the bills), but reality suddenly set in and the mother realized that they couldn’t SUSTAIN that level of spending any longer, so they had to make some big changes, but were not forced to quit the game altogether. But now I think my take is just as likely to be right (or wrong) as yours is - who really knows?

lol, that is the same take If you blow through, say, 1/3 of your liquidity in one year then it does not take a genius to realize it is not a sustainable pursuit for a kid that is only 10(?). Ergo, you don’t have the cash to be playing at that level.

IOW: If you go broke spending $150,000 in one year then you really weren’t starting with anything notable to begin with, and you were clearly aware that significant 5-figure purchases of horse-flesh equating to 40%++ of your cash-on-hand were not in the cards.

But truthfully, I’m far more concerned about the societal priorities that trigger this behavior than I am about this symptomatic woman who I do hold compassion for. Best wishes to both her & Ziggy for an enlightening experience as they venture down new paths.