Post about middle class show family

[starhorse]

Anyone else seen this circulating on social media? Curious to hear others’ reactions, if you’ve seen it. There’s a lovely photo of a young girl with a cute pony and this text below.

Dear middle class horse show family, I see you.

I see you picking and choosing what shows you can afford.

I see you buy your child that older, been there done that mid level horse.

I see you on the rail at every lesson, soaking up all the information that you can.

I see you scouring the internet for second hand clothing for your child.

I see you at shows, cleaning your own tack and grooming horses to save money.

I see you happily entering your child and horse in classes against high dollar made horses and cheering everyone on equally.

I see you hug your children when they come out of the ring win, lose or draw.

I see all of you sitting at the stalls, having a great time with your adopted horse show families.

I see you wishing you were rich so you could buy one of those high dollar horses for your child, but understanding that your child is learning valuable lessons on that older been there, done that horse.

I see you. And I hope that you know that when you look back on your time with your child, the stable and your horse show family how rich you are.

#ISeeYou

borrowed from Karen Gardner

[TheBigEasy]

Haven’t seen the meme. But “middle class”
in the horse world is still different from “middle class” in the real world.

How about “struggling class”.

I see you beg, borrowing and stealing rides to the local shows.

I see you borrowing clippers.

I see you showing in rubber boots. Polished as well as can be done.

I see your $500 grade pony competing in gaming and jumpers - since they’re objectively judged - and your kid has a chance in those.

I see your kid learning how to be a good loser. And an even better winner - when it happens.

I see your kid coming away with life skills that teach, money can buy a lot, but it doesn’t buy pride. And sometimes the underdog can still come out on top. I see your kid making life long friends and memories to last a lifetime.

I see you going 8 weeks for a trim, instead of 6, just to stretch the budget.

I see your your beat up trailer that the willing father replaced the floor in and rewired the lights - but still with expired plates cause the extra $50 to plate it just can’t be justified on a week to week paycheck.

I see the kid who recognizes, 20 years later, all that parents and friends did so they could have a chance to be in the ring. and learn all the lessons that come along with it.

My greafest life lessons were not learned in a classroom, but on a show ground. And on the trails. And on my neighbors properties letting me run around their fields.

And today…those lessons are seen. In every day life. And that is the greatest value of all. Middle class, privileged class, or struggling class.

[NC001]

very few middle class can afford to buy, train and show a horse.

[TCA_Arabians]

starHorse & BigEasy - Thank you for reminding us what it’s all really about. This was my feel good and smile thread of the morning.

[Scribbler]

I’m always a bit bemused about how “middle class” and “working class” have become synonyms in current American discourse.

I spend a lot of time in the 19th century professionally, and back then there was a clear distinction. Middle class meant very comfortably well off, probably with a professional wage earner in the family or a business owner. The upper class was the truly wealthy, including aristocrats in Britain. The working class included laborers and skilled trades. The middle class was growing in those days, but certainly much smaller than the working class.

In the mid 20th century, high wages for some categories of factory work and skilled trades in North America meant that the line between traditional middle class and working class got blurred on strictly financial grounds. The deterioration of those wages in recent decades is part of what we now call the “decline of the middle class.” Interestingly, the phrase “working Americans” has also been expanded to take in everyone who isn’t either on social security, or living off their stocks and bonds income.

Ok, historical rant over.

Still, I think it’s worth being clear that the horse show challenges facing a professional middle class family are going to be different from those facing a lower middle class or working class family.

The professional middle class family isn’t going to be able to buy a $100,000 horse for Susiekins to pursue her dreams of Big Eq.and she’ll just have to make do with her $20,000 horse and her Ariat Boots and the local rated shows.

The working class family might be the ones trying to make a $1000 grade QH work and showing in rubber boots.

From where you sit, Susiekins might look like a pampered little brat that had everything handed to her on a plate, or she might look like she is terribly deprived because she is never ever going to get to ride in Florida for the winter.

[WildLittleWren]

Scribbler. My family would probably be considered working class. My husband and I work super hard to provide my daughter who rides as many opportunities as possible. However, even she can, at 10 years old, see the fancy horses and kids in $1000s of dollars worth of designer show clothes, and see the difference. But you know what? My daughter is learning lessons that many of the elite don’t.

She knows the value of a dollar, and she works for her opportunities. She picks up little jobs from family. And thinks carefully about her purchases. I.e.- lease pony needs her teeth floated and she is responsible for helping towards the care, not because we can’t afford it (we could, but I like her knowing the financial side of things and thinking smart with her brain and her money), so that fancy new eventing vest will have to wait until after lease pony gets her float.

She helps out with chores at the barn with me as her contribution towards her board, and she isn’t afraid to get down and dirty. I am actually grateful for all the life lessons she is learning that comes with not being from a well off family.

My parents were upper middle class. I asked for a new horse, parents could afford to buy it. Or at least I thought. They never taught me the value of a dollar, or how much the upkeep of the horses and the shows cost. Later on, when I was in college, they told me they had filed bankruptcy twice. I was NEVER made aware of any money struggles. I was angry. Because I would have never put them in that position had I known.

I also had to learn how to be an adult financially by myself. I had no clue about anything…not even credit cards! I had to fall flat on my face financially a time or two until I decided to take a few finance courses and learn how to balance a checkbook and manage finances. I am determined my daughter will be financially smart when she goes out on her own. I am determined my daughter will work for what she wants, and take nothing for granted.

She has never had a horse tacked up for her and waiting for a lesson and handed back to a groom after. She can help with basic equine first aid, spot lameness, can tack up herself and do just about everything herself. To me, working class and middle class families make true horse men and horse women. Not that upper class families don’t either! But, our situation is certainly shaping my daughter into the adult I want her to be and I am grateful for that.

ETA: My daughter has only on very rare occasion been able to ride a made horse. I have been teaching her how to bring along green but safe horses, and she has learned so much. Her lease pony is a 22yo Arab pony cross, who kicks butt cross country and show jumping, but was sitting in a paddock not being used. The situation works for both the owner and us-she stays fit and active and well loved, and my daughter gets a safe (yet forward…which she likes!) Pony that is showing her the ropes over fences.

My own horse is a $125 BLM Exteme Mustang Makeover dropout horse that I took on when no one else would, and have made her into the perfect horse for me. From almost feral to my best friend. So she has learned by my example. Neither of us are going to go to rated shows or expensive show circuits, but we can still appreciate all we have and the fact that we have ANY horses at all!

[Scribbler]

@WildLittleWren

Scribbler. My family would probably be considered working class. My husband and I work super hard to provide my daughter who rides as many opportunities as possible. However, even she can, at 10 years old, see the fancy horses and kids in $1000s of dollars worth of designer show clothes, and see the difference. But you know what? My daughter is learning lessons that many of the elite don’t.

She knows the value of a dollar, and she works for her opportunities. She picks up little jobs from family. And thinks carefully about her purchases. I.e.- lease pony needs her teeth floated and she is responsible for helping towards the care, not because we can’t afford it (we could, but I like her knowing the financial side of things and thinking smart with her brain and her money), so that fancy new eventing vest will have to wait until after lease pony gets her float.

She helps out with chores at the barn with me as her contribution towards her board, and she isn’t afraid to get down and dirty. I am actually grateful for all the life lessons she is learning that comes with not being from a well off family.

My parents were upper middle class. I asked for a new horse, parents could afford to buy it. Or at least I thought. They never taught me the value of a dollar, or how much the upkeep of the horses and the shows cost. Later on, when I was in college, they told me they had filed bankruptcy twice. I was NEVER made aware of any money struggles. I was angry. Because I would have never put them in that position had I known.

I also had to learn how to be an adult financially by myself. I had no clue about anything…not even credit cards! I had to fall flat on my face financially a time or two until I decided to take a few finance courses and learn how to balance a checkbook and manage finances. I am determined my daughter will be financially smart when she goes out on her own. I am determined my daughter will work for what she wants, and take nothing for granted.

She has never had a horse tacked up for her and waiting for a lesson and handed back to a groom after. She can help with basic equine first aid, spot lameness, can tack up herself and do just about everything herself. To me, working class and middle class families make true horse men and horse women. Not that upper class families don’t either! But, our situation is certainly shaping my daughter into the adult I want her to be and I am grateful for that.

ETA: My daughter has only on very rare occasion been able to ride a made horse. I have been teaching her how to bring along green but safe horses, and she has learned so much. Her lease pony is a 22yo Arab pony cross, who kicks butt cross country and show jumping, but was sitting in a paddock not being used. The situation works for both the owner and us-she stays fit and active and well loved, and my daughter gets a safe (yet forward…which she likes!) Pony that is showing her the ropes over fences.

My own horse is a $125 BLM Exteme Mustang Makeover dropout horse that I took on when no one else would, and have made her into the perfect horse for me. From almost feral to my best friend. So she has learned by my example. Neither of us are going to go to rated shows or expensive show circuits, but we can still appreciate all we have and the fact that we have ANY horses at all!

I wasn’t disagreeing with any of this. I think you learn more at the do it yourself level.

I just think as with the “grassroots” thread going on in hunter jumper forum, people lump a lot of different circumstances together.

[hillary_again]

I wish there was more focus on riding, as a sport, than about showing, which is different. When I was 10, riding was as much for it’s own sake (developing your position, being able to influence your horse’s movement) as it was about showing. I think we got more out of it. I think this is simliar to golf: I want to be a good golfer. I don’t want to spend my weekends competing in tournaments. @WildLittleWren , great that you are able to offer this experience to your daughter. She’ll get the life-long lessons. Jumping into your fancy show clothes, onto your horse, and into the arena is not a super strong experience.

[Beck]

@Scribbler

I wasn’t disagreeing with any of this. I think you learn more at the do it yourself level.

I just think as with the “grassroots” thread going on in hunter jumper forum, people lump a lot of different circumstances together.

I think it is very interesting how the definition of “grass roots” changes with perspective. (As has been pointed out.) So many see the first post as representing “the grass roots” and forget there is a whole layer below that one that is often invisible to many.

[hoopoe]

@hillary again

I wish there was more focus on riding, as a sport, than about showing, which is different. When I was 10, riding was as much for it’s own sake (developing your position, being able to influence your horse’s movement) as it was about showing. I think we got more out of it. I think this is simliar to golf: I want to be a good golfer. I don’t want to spend my weekends competing in tournaments. @WildLittleWren , great that you are able to offer this experience to your daughter. She’ll get the life-long lessons. Jumping into your fancy show clothes, onto your horse, and into the arena is not a super strong experience.

showing , for many, has become an industry. A way for trainers to earn money charging clients for every little thing. Convincing them that it is too hard and too complex to learn. The industry has built this monstrosity and, I suspect, starting to pay for it.

I would love to see the federation get away from point chasing and develop a true points system that allows riders to Q for a regional championship based on the earning of a certain number of performances of a certain percentage value, like the dressage model. This becomes accessible to more riders. Your regional champion , the best horse, may actually be the one that can only go to two or three local shows a year

[NC001]

@Scribbler

Still, I think it’s worth being clear that the horse show challenges facing a professional middle class family are going to be different from those facing a lower middle class or working class family.

The professional middle class family isn’t going to be able to buy a $100,000 horse for Susiekins to pursue her dreams of Big Eq.and she’ll just have to make do with her $20,000 horse and her Ariat Boots and the local rated shows.

The working class family might be the ones trying to make a $1000 grade QH work and showing in rubber boots.

We would be considered professional middle class and we are not buying a $20k horse for our kid and showing every weekend. And we only have 1 kid. Even a $1000 grade horse costs the same to upkeep. If you own your own property and can keep horses at home maybe, but anyone looking to board, lessons and training… even professional middle class that is a steep monthly cost to carry.

[16_Hands]

“Make do with her $20,000 horse” ha ha. that’s a laugh. The “make do” part especially. I’d love to be able to afford a 20K horse and I’m part of the professional middle class or professional working poor as I call it. I have to pick and choose which events I can afford to enter, usually doing only 2 maybe 3 rated outings per season and add some unrated local one day events along the way to cut costs.

[melula]

One of my new year resolutions was to be more positive, but I guess it’s Feb 1, so I can quit that. I know it was a “feel good”, validation post intended for folks that budget and sacrifice for the kids.

No matter the financial situation, why would a parent not:

• participate with their kids on the side of the ring
• choose shows that make sense for the kid's goals and abilities
• clean tack and groom horses
• hang out with the horse show family
• find hand-me-downs (my barn has started a little closet of show clothes for growing kids to borrow)
• purchase or lease a useful horse that is going to teach the kids for a couple of years

I don't think anybody is really jealous of the kid who has a driver drop her off at the barn because she has absentee parents. AND, I can't really name a parent who is thrilled about hanging around a horse show watching hours of cross rail classes in the middle of a ridiculous summer.

[LovieBird]

What about those who can only afford weekly lessons?

[clanter]

we never had any problem competing at the top in Class A shows with our $3,000 horses and $2,000 horse trailer.

[TCA_Arabians]

I think we’re talking more about values than what a family can afford. Mom & Dad bred and trained their horses. Technically, it was really Mom. I remember well that championship ribbon she and her gelding earned at a Class A show. She earned it against top trainers. It’s still hanging on the wall. Of all the ribbons over the years - that one remained her favorite. Families that are struggling with multiple jobs to pay rent and put food on the table - are going to be hard pressed to add feeding a horse to their budget. I’ve known a few folks that did and they showed as well.

There’s always going to be a more expensive horse, camera, racket, sneaker, etc. etc. In the end, it’s the skills and values learned along the way that counts. When my own young son would go for visits with Grandma and Grandpa - he had to clean a lot of stalls and brush a lot of horses - before he ever got to get up on one.

[Scribbler]

@16 Hands

“Make do with her $20,000 horse” ha ha. that’s a laugh. The “make do” part especially. I’d love to be able to afford a 20K horse and I’m part of the professional middle class or professional working poor as I call it. I have to pick and choose which events I can afford to enter, usually doing only 2 maybe 3 rated outings per season and add some unrated local one day events along the way to cut costs.

I was being a bit tongue in cheek with the $20,000 horse. I was trying to hit a price point that would be above many peoples means but still way too cheap for the big eq. I could have said make do with a $50,000 horse or a $10,000 horse. Likewise kid has to make do with Ariat boots not custom boots. Meaning here is a kid that has a fair bit of cash to throw at the sport but she is not going to be able to buy her way to the top.

As far as competing, riding is one of those activities or motion sports where the actual activity is a pleasure. Like skiing, sailing, swimming, dancing, hiking, cycling. Most people do those for pleasure, but there is a competition strata in all of them.

Compare to team sports where you really train just to play the game.

Riding is an inherently pleasurable motion sport if you are allowed to ride on your own outside of an arena.

That is less and less possible for many. Riding has become for many kids a lesson dominated sport, and competing becomes part of the lesson structure. But that is a very small slice of horsemanship.

As far as parents watching every move and helping to clean and tack up, I have very mixed feelings about today’s helicopter parents. I don’t think parents should be mucking out the stall for a 14 year old.

[punchy]

<Likewise kid has to make do with Ariat boots not custom boots.>

Sorry, but since when are Ariat boots something people have to ‘make do’ with? Who are you even talking about?

[mvp]

@Scribbler

I’m always a bit bemused about how “middle class” and “working class” have become synonyms in current American discourse.

I spend a lot of time in the 19th century professionally, and back then there was a clear distinction. Middle class meant very comfortably well off, probably with a professional wage earner in the family or a business owner. The upper class was the truly wealthy, including aristocrats in Britain. The working class included laborers and skilled trades. The middle class was growing in those days, but certainly much smaller than the working class.

In the mid 20th century, high wages for some categories of factory work and skilled trades in North America meant that the line between traditional middle class and working class got blurred on strictly financial grounds. The deterioration of those wages in recent decades is part of what we now call the “decline of the middle class.” Interestingly, the phrase “working Americans” has also been expanded to take in everyone who isn’t either on social security, or living off their stocks and bonds income.

Ok, historical rant over.

Still, I think it’s worth being clear that the horse show challenges facing a professional middle class family are going to be different from those facing a lower middle class or working class family.

The professional middle class family isn’t going to be able to buy a $100,000 horse for Susiekins to pursue her dreams of Big Eq.and she’ll just have to make do with her $20,000 horse and her Ariat Boots and the local rated shows.

The working class family might be the ones trying to make a $1000 grade QH work and showing in rubber boots.

From where you sit, Susiekins might look like a pampered little brat that had everything handed to her on a plate, or she might look like she is terribly deprived because she is never ever going to get to ride in Florida for the winter.

If you want to measure the wealth of most Americans now by the standards that distinguished Middle Class from Working Class during those glorious decades in the middle of the 20th century, I think you would find that the words used match economic reality: The Working Class at present is much larger than the Middle Class.

And Newsflash-- no one in the pre-WWII group, “Working Class” is seen at horse shows at all unless they are working there.

[Cascades]

@punchy

<Likewise kid has to make do with Ariat boots not custom boots.>

Sorry, but since when are Ariat boots something people have to ‘make do’ with? Who are you even talking about?

Lol you’ve obviously never been to WEF.

I’m not trying to be snarky, but there’s a whole lot of naive BS in this thread.

I thought the post in the OP was sweet and is pretty reflective of the middle class experience in the sport these days.

Growing up, my parents were able to provide me with the opportunity to do the Big Eq and Junior Hunters. That was 15 years ago. No way they could afford today’s prices. Back then, a good, AA show acceptable saddle was $3500. Now they’re closer to $7k.

Times have really changed and prices have skyrocketed. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the growing gap between the top of the sport and the middle of the sport. They’re basically on different planets anymore.