Pregnant riders support group? :)

[Larissa]

[QUOTE=pinkpony321;8568377]
I feel bad because he’s happier at home. I feel bad for whoever is caring for him because he is crying. And I feel bad because that could all be avoided if I didn’t ride. [/QUOTE]

You deserve a hug. This motherhood thing is hard. “Mom guilt” is a super emotional suck. I think you’re on the right path with toughing it out. As with most things we have to push our comfort zones or we’ll just be stuck.

Seeing my sister with four under six helped put this particular issue in perspective for me. Not a single one of them gets to determine their schedule; preschool pickups, older kid sports, doctor and vet appts, they all have to pack in and go with the flow. There is tiredness and tears but it’s just the nature of the beast.

PS when they are that little they have so few communication skills that crying is a multipurpose tool. Console yourself that it doesn’t always mean they are in as much distress as they sound. It’s pretty much just an indication that they noticed something changed in their little bitty world.

PPS congratulations nativehiro! You’re a little ahead of me (10w). Good timing to not be huge throughout the hottest weather

[CRTXLaw]

JLC - The first weeks are hardest and it does seem to get easier, but there are rough patches.

LO is now almost 2 months old. Had his vaccinations today. That was rough. He is very sleepy post-vaccines, but so far doesn’t have fever.

He has been a lot more fussy lately. Chalking it up to this being a development leap time period.

For a little while we had a good sleep thing going (he would get up just once between 12am - 6am generally) but now he is getting up a lot at night. I am chalking it up to developmental / growth spurt.

Breastfeeding is still hard. LO’s growth rate slowed down and the pediatrician had some concern maybe he isn’t feeding well. My boobs still hurt. Going back to the lactation consultant on Monday. sigh I keep hearing that I’ll have a breakthrough and it will be great, but I’m currently thinking of introducing formula into the mix and how I might do that in a way that I can continue BF mostly.

I start work Monday. We’ve hired a nanny and she seems great. For the next month LO will be 50% nanny and 50% grandparents, and once he is 3 months old will be 50% nanny and 50% daycare. I am still anxious about all this. I feel like I am barely functioning as is, and not really ready to start work.

I have been trying to ride. I jumped a full (tiny) course the other day, which felt awesome. It is hard to get out there though - the past week has been not good sleep-wise and boob-discomfort-wise. However, when I do ride it gives me an outlook boost that lasts for days - it benefits the whole family. So, I don’t feel guilty about taking a little time to ride. Plus, DH and the grandparents enjoy having that time with LO.

I still have a significant amount of weight to lose. That is the only thing holding me back from being super excited to horse show. I’m trying to be kind to myself about it, but it’s hard to do.

[jhg140]

Almost 16 weeks over here. Sold my horse last week (not pregnancy related, more “I’m fed up with your crap and might as well deal with the emotional wreckage of selling you now vs post partum” related). I have a friend who said I can ride her horse whenever, but not really feeling motivated when it’s not mine. Instead I’ve jumped head first into horse shopping. Am I crazy for wanting to buy something now, so I have something to ride when baby arrives? I was always going to buy a horse off video most likely, just to help maximize my dollar, so I’m not nervous about not sitting on whatever I buy. I feel like I need a horse to go out and dote on, even if I’m just spinning it on the lunge line or watching trainer school it. I’d also feel more comfortable getting back to riding with a horse I know, versus a brand new one.

I guess I’m just mid-panic attack, with people constantly telling me I won’t want to ride after the baby, and I’m starting to take it to heart and freak out a little bit. And then I go cry in my bathroom. After which I eat tons of cookies, because I have zero f**ks to give anymore about my gross, mushy body. Ok, gonna go cry again.

[pinkpony321]

[QUOTE=jhg140;8569441]
Almost 16 weeks over here. Sold my horse last week (not pregnancy related, more “I’m fed up with your crap and might as well deal with the emotional wreckage of selling you now vs post partum” related). I have a friend who said I can ride her horse whenever, but not really feeling motivated when it’s not mine. Instead I’ve jumped head first into horse shopping. Am I crazy for wanting to buy something now, so I have something to ride when baby arrives? I was always going to buy a horse off video most likely, just to help maximize my dollar, so I’m not nervous about not sitting on whatever I buy. I feel like I need a horse to go out and dote on, even if I’m just spinning it on the lunge line or watching trainer school it. I’d also feel more comfortable getting back to riding with a horse I know, versus a brand new one.

I guess I’m just mid-panic attack, with people constantly telling me I won’t want to ride after the baby, and I’m starting to take it to heart and freak out a little bit. And then I go cry in my bathroom. After which I eat tons of cookies, because I have zero f**ks to give anymore about my gross, mushy body. Ok, gonna go cry again.[/QUOTE]

I am you, 6 months in the future(read previous post). I was shopping while pregnant, but didn’t buy so that I could get a feel for life post baby. It’s hard. Maybe it’d be easier for me to get to the barn had I bought one while pregnant, I don’t know. Just wanted to say I can sympathize with everything you’re feeling.

[jhg140]

[QUOTE=pinkpony321;8569887]
I am you, 6 months in the future(read previous post). I was shopping while pregnant, but didn’t buy so that I could get a feel for life post baby. It’s hard. Maybe it’d be easier for me to get to the barn had I bought one while pregnant, I don’t know. Just wanted to say I can sympathize with everything you’re feeling.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the honesty. I’m also afraid that if I don’t buy now, I will have zero desire to go out because of the whole “what’s the point” vibe I’m feeling now. But I also am adamant that I not lose this part of me that is so essential to who I am and to making me a happy person. I’m just so torn and freaked out and I hate feeling like this, especially about horses of all things. This sucks

[pinkpony321]

[QUOTE=jhg140;8569903]
Thanks for the honesty. I’m also afraid that if I don’t buy now, I will have zero desire to go out because of the whole “what’s the point” vibe I’m feeling now. But I also am adamant that I not lose this part of me that is so essential to who I am and to making me a happy person. I’m just so torn and freaked out and I hate feeling like this, especially about horses of all things. This sucks[/QUOTE]

Here’s the optimistic part that I left out:
I honestly feel like once my baby is a little more self-sufficient (i.e.: can play independently a little, and eats less frequently than every hour and a half) it will be perfectly simple to get him to the barn so that I can ride. im looking at the six-month range for that. It’s just right now, it seems especially difficult. I can update when /if that happens:)

[She_s_Pure_Gold]

Congrats and welcome to the newly pregnant It’s a bit surreal thinking back to when I joined this thread last summer, somewhere around 9-10 weeks I think. LO is 2 weeks old tomorrow and for the most part doing very well. We’re lucky, he’s a great sleeper and doesn’t fuss much, but we’re having significant struggles breastfeeding. It’s amazing how one of the most ‘natural’ things you can do can be so difficult. The pain has gotten better, but we’re struggling with latching- sometimes he goes right on, no fuss, and other times, it’s like a battle to get him to feed despite the fact that he’s hungry. I’ve been to a lactation consultant a couple times and plan to go again. It’s very frustrating and makes me feel like a failure at times. I had read about how difficult bf-ing can be, but I always imagined it was more to do with pain and milk production, not that my baby wouldn’t latch! Trying to stay optimistic, but I have had many moments since giving birth where I’ve said to my husband that I completely understand why some moms give up and go to formula.

As for healing ‘downstairs’, it’s getting better but still quite sore. I imagine I’m still at least 2 more weeks away from getting back in the saddle, even just to walk around. Go figure, winter has ended early this year and the ground is bare and it’s warm and I can’t ride!

Hope everyone is doing well.

[JLC]

Welcome new moms!

LO is heading to his one month old pediatrician appointment today! It is crazy to think about my first post on here in the fall, was lurking for weeks before. It does really go by fast and this first month with LO flew by now looking back.

Things are getting better, but I can’t wait to get some real sleep again.

[Cruisesmom]

33 Weeks today! I think my last ride will be tomorrow. I have only been doing walk with limited trot work, my max is 30 minutes with my energy level.
Sweet mare will go back early 3/29 (lease was supposed to by until June).
I am so sad to make the arrangements to send her back. She is exactly what I needed at the right time.

My son will be 2 in July. Baby on the way due May 1st. I think my riding and barn days are over for quite some time. I am so limited with my time now with my son. I can’t imagine I will have time with two little ones around to get out to the barn.

Any new moms facing this? When did you get some time back for yourself?
FYI, both DH and I work full time, I have amazing in-laws that watch my son now, and plan to watch new baby as well.

[butiwantedapony]

[QUOTE=jhg140;8569441]
Almost 16 weeks over here. Sold my horse last week (not pregnancy related, more “I’m fed up with your crap and might as well deal with the emotional wreckage of selling you now vs post partum” related). I have a friend who said I can ride her horse whenever, but not really feeling motivated when it’s not mine. Instead I’ve jumped head first into horse shopping. Am I crazy for wanting to buy something now, so I have something to ride when baby arrives? I was always going to buy a horse off video most likely, just to help maximize my dollar, so I’m not nervous about not sitting on whatever I buy. I feel like I need a horse to go out and dote on, even if I’m just spinning it on the lunge line or watching trainer school it. I’d also feel more comfortable getting back to riding with a horse I know, versus a brand new one.

I guess I’m just mid-panic attack, with people constantly telling me I won’t want to ride after the baby, and I’m starting to take it to heart and freak out a little bit. And then I go cry in my bathroom. After which I eat tons of cookies, because I have zero f**ks to give anymore about my gross, mushy body. Ok, gonna go cry again.[/QUOTE]

I bought a horse last year while I was 5 months pregnant. I finally gave up on my terribly hot mare due to my lack of time ( still own her just decided not to bother trying to make her into a reasonable riding horse). I wanted something I could hop on once/week or even once/month and actually enjoy it.

It’s been a blessing to have this lovely horse who puts up with my out of shape self and is always well behaved. It’s a lovely break from my kids to go out and ride for 15-20 min without having to lunge for an hour.

I say go for it! I did go ride him before I brought him home which wad important to me- I was looking for a particular kind of ride (forward but not hot with big, lofty gaits).

[butiwantedapony]

[QUOTE=Cruisesmom;8570394]
33 Weeks today! I think my last ride will be tomorrow. I have only been doing walk with limited trot work, my max is 30 minutes with my energy level.
Sweet mare will go back early 3/29 (lease was supposed to by until June).
I am so sad to make the arrangements to send her back. She is exactly what I needed at the right time.

My son will be 2 in July. Baby on the way due May 1st. I think my riding and barn days are over for quite some time. I am so limited with my time now with my son. I can’t imagine I will have time with two little ones around to get out to the barn.

Any new moms facing this? When did you get some time back for yourself?
FYI, both DH and I work full time, I have amazing in-laws that watch my son now, and plan to watch new baby as well.[/QUOTE]

My 2 are similar in age ( 3 months and 2 next month). As of next month I’ll have 4 horses going back into full training. I’ll have a sitter 4x/week to do this. I think you can make it work if you want to - it obviously requires some juggling but it can be done. For me it’s necessary for my sanity to have some other things going on.

[jhg140]

[QUOTE=butiwantedapony;8570503]
I bought a horse last year while I was 5 months pregnant. I finally gave up on my terribly hot mare due to my lack of time ( still own her just decided not to bother trying to make her into a reasonable riding horse). I wanted something I could hop on once/week or even once/month and actually enjoy it.

It’s been a blessing to have this lovely horse who puts up with my out of shape self and is always well behaved. It’s a lovely break from my kids to go out and ride for 15-20 min without having to lunge for an hour.

I say go for it! I did go ride him before I brought him home which wad important to me- I was looking for a particular kind of ride (forward but not hot with big, lofty gaits).[/QUOTE]

Thank you for this. It’s also important to me to have something to get that me break. Maybe Im crazy, but I just don’t think it’s unreasonable, especially once baby is in daycare at 8 weeks and off the boob, to expect his/her father to watch said bambino alone for 3 hours, two days a week, to give me that barn time. Right? I can’t be super woman over here all day, every day.

I’m glad to hear it worked out for you! And glad that you have that time to yourself. My greatest fear is completely losing ME, and hearing people tell me I won’t want to ride just depresses the heck out of me

[PonyWish]

Just joining the group. I am 10 weeks today and going for my first OB appointment (I found out in early Feb but had some things going on at work so I had to keep it on the down low until I could finish the project.) I’m still riding when weather and time permit. I’ve stopped jumping but hoping my coach will take over the ride and get my greenie to a Recognized BN horse trial in the fall or early next spring. So that when I am ready to ride again my pony will have lots of education. My horses live at home so at least I’ll be able to see them every day even if late in to my pregnancy I won’t be able to do much. Enjoining all the threads here makes me feel not alone. I’m sure my mother (who we haven’t told yet) is going to freak when I tell her I’m still riding.

[PonyWish]

My husband and I have already had this discussion. He has a horse of his own but only does trail riding even that sporadically. Mainly he has a horse to spend time with me. But he and I talked about he will need to do baby duty a few days a week when I’m up to riding again. He’s completely supportive of my riding goals and hasn’t said one word negative or otherwise about me continuing to ride. He’s just super excited to have a kid because we never thought we would, (I’m 40 and he’ll be 42 in June)

[OveroHunter]

Figured I’d check back in. 18 and a half weeks and finally popped out a baby bump. Still riding my steady eddie gelding fairly regularly, but I cut out jumping… Mostly because I was tired of the “you shouldn’t be doing that while pregnant” looks and comments I was getting from everyone…

We’re selling our little 15 acre horse farm to find something with less land and more house than what we currently have. With the ranch we just realized that there was no need to keep our horses at home so we’ll find something that’s even cheaper with a bigger house.

However, after only 9 days on the market our farm was under contract :eek: So now it looks like back to the ranch we go until we can find a new house! I’m not exactly looking forward to being 6 months pregnant and living in a small apartment at a dude ranch… Just trying to remind myself that it’s a super nice place and I’m so lucky that I won’t have to cook anymore because they serve 3 meals a day and have a swimming pool that will probably feel awesome when I’m good and huge!

[Coltinator]

16 weeks going on 17 and wondering if anyone has opted not to do the quad screening for genetic disorders? My insurance does not cover the testing so I would have to pay a lot of money we don’t really have out of pocket. My doctor wants me to do all testing available (opted out of the first trimester screening due to insurance not covering it) but I have none of the risk factors that make it recommended according to what I am reading online. I also heard there are lots of false positives and I do not want to spend my whole pregnancy worrying for no reason.

As for riding/jumping, did anyone keep jumping later into their pregnancy? I still feel fine, am not big (although I do have a bit of a belly now) and my trainer said she was riding/training/jumping until she had her first baby. Note: I jump in a lesson once a week and they are not big fences since my back surgery a couple years ago.

[KingoftheRoad]

For those asking about belly bands, even though I don’t have problems with my clothes yet, based on another recommendation earlier in this thread, I ordered the Bellaband from Ingrid & Isabel. I managed to grit my teeth and try it on today, and was very impressed with how well it fit, and how well it did holding up unbuttoned jeans. I can see where it might help me get a lot more wear out of breeches later on…although the reviews I saw said not to get their version at Target, the original is much nicer…

[butiwantedapony]

[QUOTE=jhg140;8570711]
Thank you for this. It’s also important to me to have something to get that me break. Maybe Im crazy, but I just don’t think it’s unreasonable, especially once baby is in daycare at 8 weeks and off the boob, to expect his/her father to watch said bambino alone for 3 hours, two days a week, to give me that barn time. Right? I can’t be super woman over here all day, every day.

I’m glad to hear it worked out for you! And glad that you have that time to yourself. My greatest fear is completely losing ME, and hearing people tell me I won’t want to ride just depresses the heck out of me[/QUOTE]

You might not want to ride for awhile after baby - I didn’t with my first. But, you won’t mind, and you will want to ride again

It is NOT unreasonable to expect daddy to watch the baby. Heck my youngest (3 months now) is 100% on the boob still and we make it work out for me to ride several tones per week ( my horses are at home which makes this a bit easier).

For me, riding and working towards my riding goals are really important for my mental state. Happy, grounded mama = better mama to my kids, in my case. It allows me to be much more present with them.

[jhg140]

[QUOTE=butiwantedapony;8583252]
You might not want to ride for awhile after baby - I didn’t with my first. But, you won’t mind, and you will want to ride again

It is NOT unreasonable to expect daddy to watch the baby. Heck my youngest (3 months now) is 100% on the boob still and we make it work out for me to ride several tones per week ( my horses are at home which makes this a bit easier).

For me, riding and working towards my riding goals are really important for my mental state. Happy, grounded mama = better mama to my kids, in my case. It allows me to be much more present with them.[/QUOTE]

Thank you - this is kind of the thought process I am following, and trying to keep in mind.

[jhg140]

[QUOTE=KingoftheRoad;8582783]
For those asking about belly bands, even though I don’t have problems with my clothes yet, based on another recommendation earlier in this thread, I ordered the Bellaband from Ingrid & Isabel. I managed to grit my teeth and try it on today, and was very impressed with how well it fit, and how well it did holding up unbuttoned jeans. I can see where it might help me get a lot more wear out of breeches later on…although the reviews I saw said not to get their version at Target, the original is much nicer…[/QUOTE]

I also ordered the Bella Band, direct from Ingrid & Isabel. I’ve used it on both jeans and work pants, and been impressed. While I don’t have a bump, per say, I’m just bloated all around my midsection right now and buttoning my pants is freaking uncomfortable.

I also highly recommend the sleeping bralettes from the company - nice and if you want to give your sports bras a break for around the house