Pregnant riders support group? :)

[jhg140]

22 weeks now. Getting to the point where people are work are noticing… and if one more person tells me how “cute” I look, or asks me how I feel when they haven’t given a flying f*** previously, I’m gonna lose it. I just can’t handle it. Anyone else get annoyed by this crap?

Also just kind of sick of feeling so gross looking and being constantly reminded about what I can’t do. I just want to feel like me again. I never realized how isolating being pregnant is. I don’t want to do things with my non-pregnant friends, because they get to do all the fun things I can’t, and I don’t want to hang out with people with kids, because they’re in this whole other stage that I haven’t quite reached. So I’m stuck kind of in this weird no-man’s land. And I hate it.

Ok, pity party over. New horse should arrive Sat or Sun, so at least I can go live vicariously through trainer riding him for a bit. Hope everyone is doing well.

[JLC]

Rescuer - WOW! And Congrats!

Well a little update on me! LO is doing great and I am learning to enjoy him everyday a little more (I didn’t think that was even possible). I am back at work and it really is a good balance for me. I can’t wait to go pick him up at daycare and spend a few hours with him before my husband gets home all to myself. We are getting a pretty good routine going, but it can still be difficult sometimes.

I still haven’t ridden, and I have to be completely honest, I don’t have any desire. I have rehomed my horse to a very close friend and she is going to rehab him (suspensory injury) and see what she can do with him. I know he would be fine living the retired life at 12 years old with me, but this is his prime and who knows when I got the desire back if he would be okay going back to work. I finally feel at peace with me decision, so that tells me I made the correct one. I love that horse, but it was time for him to move on to someone that has more time for him. As EmJ628 said, I am not going to feel guilty anymore.

[Nickelodian]

[QUOTE=jhg140;8636299]
22 weeks now. Getting to the point where people are work are noticing… and if one more person tells me how “cute” I look, or asks me how I feel when they haven’t given a flying f*** previously, I’m gonna lose it. I just can’t handle it. Anyone else get annoyed by this crap?

Also just kind of sick of feeling so gross looking and being constantly reminded about what I can’t do. I just want to feel like me again. I never realized how isolating being pregnant is. I don’t want to do things with my non-pregnant friends, because they get to do all the fun things I can’t, and I don’t want to hang out with people with kids, because they’re in this whole other stage that I haven’t quite reached. So I’m stuck kind of in this weird no-man’s land. And I hate it.

Ok, pity party over. New horse should arrive Sat or Sun, so at least I can go live vicariously through trainer riding him for a bit. Hope everyone is doing well.[/QUOTE]

Do you have any preggo friends? I hated hated hated it with a passion. Even preggo people on here were a great support group. Find someone to talk to that can identify with where you are now.

Towards the end I felt like I would never feel like me again and that was just my new sad reality. Just know it does end and although life is MUCH more complicated it’s not that bad either.

[pinkpony321]

[QUOTE=jhg140;8636299]
22 weeks now. Getting to the point where people are work are noticing… and if one more person tells me how “cute” I look, or asks me how I feel when they haven’t given a flying f*** previously, I’m gonna lose it. I just can’t handle it. Anyone else get annoyed by this crap?

Also just kind of sick of feeling so gross looking and being constantly reminded about what I can’t do. I just want to feel like me again. I never realized how isolating being pregnant is. I don’t want to do things with my non-pregnant friends, because they get to do all the fun things I can’t, and I don’t want to hang out with people with kids, because they’re in this whole other stage that I haven’t quite reached. So I’m stuck kind of in this weird no-man’s land. And I hate it.

Ok, pity party over. New horse should arrive Sat or Sun, so at least I can go live vicariously through trainer riding him for a bit. Hope everyone is doing well.[/QUOTE]

So, I’m one of those jerks who LOVED being pregnant. But even I got sick of everyone asking me if I felt OK. So it’s definitely not just you.
It will get better!!

[Prima_Donna]

Me too!

[QUOTE=jhg140;8636299]
22 weeks now. Getting to the point where people are work are noticing… and if one more person tells me how “cute” I look, or asks me how I feel when they haven’t given a flying f*** previously, I’m gonna lose it. I just can’t handle it. Anyone else get annoyed by this crap?

Also just kind of sick of feeling so gross looking and being constantly reminded about what I can’t do. I just want to feel like me again. I never realized how isolating being pregnant is. I don’t want to do things with my non-pregnant friends, because they get to do all the fun things I can’t, and I don’t want to hang out with people with kids, because they’re in this whole other stage that I haven’t quite reached. So I’m stuck kind of in this weird no-man’s land. And I hate it.

Ok, pity party over. New horse should arrive Sat or Sun, so at least I can go live vicariously through trainer riding him for a bit. Hope everyone is doing well.[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this. I’m 32 weeks (and a day!) and counting down until this being pregnant thing is over. I keep hoping they miscalculated my date and that I’m farther along than the Dr. says. I feel selfish/vain saying it but I do not like being pregnant at all. Especially when I haven’t had the baby yet and people make helpful comments like “you have to have at least two.” I just want one baby and to get back to looking like a normal person I do keep hearing from others who have felt like me that life is much better once you have the baby, and that while your priorities will change, you do regain that sense of self.

Enjoy the new horse! I stopped riding about 6 weeks ago (just hacking up until then) but I cheated the other day by getting on and walking around. It made me so happy!

[GreyStreet]

I’m with you guys…in fact, wrote a post about the same thing a couple of weeks ago:

https://voicehalted.wordpress.com/2016/04/06/baby-steps/

[Cameraine]

I’m with the you guys on hating being pregnant. I’m only 16 weeks in and I just hate how many things I can’t do or can’t eat. I stopped riding a while ago but my horses live at home so I still get to groom and do daily care (like soaking the High Queen’s very abscessed hoof, yea.) but I hate not being able to compete. Every time I get on facebook I see all my friends out competing. Or Gods help me Rolex (which I will never ride at that level) makes me sooo super jealous and unhappy. I am getting a big dose of horsey life by volunteering at the long format at So8ths, but I still wish I was competing instead of ground bound. But none of my horses are trustworthy enough even for hacking to haul my ever expanding butt around. It’s just been a rough spring with all the new things being thrown at me and my much beloved dog passing away quite suddenly. Sorry just feeling down today but looking forward to So8ths and at least being part of something.

[Heinz_57]

[QUOTE=Cameraine;8640166]
I’m with the you guys on hating being pregnant. I’m only 16 weeks in and I just hate how many things I can’t do or can’t eat. I stopped riding a while ago but my horses live at home so I still get to groom and do daily care (like soaking the High Queen’s very abscessed hoof, yea.) but I hate not being able to compete. Every time I get on facebook I see all my friends out competing. Or Gods help me Rolex (which I will never ride at that level) makes me sooo super jealous and unhappy. I am getting a big dose of horsey life by volunteering at the long format at So8ths, but I still wish I was competing instead of ground bound. But none of my horses are trustworthy enough even for hacking to haul my ever expanding butt around. It’s just been a rough spring with all the new things being thrown at me and my much beloved dog passing away quite suddenly. Sorry just feeling down today but looking forward to So8ths and at least being part of something.[/QUOTE]

Obviously listen to your doctor, but don’t buy into the crazy hype about everything you aren’t supposed to do/eat.

I’m 30 weeks and I haven’t given up a single food, still have a cup of coffee every day and I definitely lift more than 5lb on a daily basis. I haven’t ridden in 7 months because my horse is at home and I haven’t had anywhere to ride, and frankly now I feel too big and unstable anyway. I’ve tripped and fallen by myself several times and this new, different balance is just not something I am used to, so I’ve elected to stay grounded until post-delivery.

One bright spot in my post-baby future is that we are starting construction on an outdoor arena as soon as the ground is dry enough. I’m trying to set goals for next year to get out and compete and my husband is extremely supportive - he’s the one that encouraged the idea of building an arena and wants to make sure I have time and opportunity to continue pursuing my interests.

It is depressing to watch everyone else gearing up for spring events. There is inky one HT near me, and it is only a week before I’m due so I don’t anticipate much volunteering but I am hoping to at least go spectate. Hang in there!

[jhg140]

[QUOTE=Nickelodian;8637222]

Towards the end I felt like I would never feel like me again and that was just my new sad reality. Just know it does end and although life is MUCH more complicated it’s not that bad either.[/QUOTE]

Glad to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And hearing from everyone on this thread has been super reassuring. I just very much miss feeling like me, in ALL aspects of life. Work, home, riding, etc. Honestly, my horse friends have been the most “normal” to be around, because they just treat me like normal.

Also, at work the other day, someone walked in snacking on a plate of pickles, sat down, looked at me, and goes, “want some? because, you know, you’re pregnant.” Working in oil and gas, I work constantly to not be seen as young, or as a female, and just as a competent employee deserving of my role, and crap like that just drives me through the roof. UGGGH!

Thanks for all the commiseration, guys!

[GreyStreet]

I guess I should clarify. I don’t hate being pregnant. I’m really excited for this baby. But I have had a really hard time dealing with other people’s reactions to it - which has sort of contributed to that feeling of loss of sense of self…it’s like people forget that I am still me, not just a vessel for the baby

[Rosie_B]

Hi Guys

I am very late joining this… I am on both sides of the line though. I have a 2 year old son, and am 17 weeks pregnant with a second son.

First pregnancy I rode until about this point and then stopped… My horse was three at the time and I had started him lightly under saddle and got him going well w/t/c and then stopped riding because I was starting to feel unbalanced and on a green bean that’s not good (although my horse was SUPER well behaved).

So then horsey had 8 months off while I had baby and then recovered, and I started riding again when my son was three and a half months. That year I took my horse to his first shows, and rode up lightly (3-4 times a week) up until the end of the year. I have my horse at home and don’t have an indoor so after that I was limited by the weather and couldn’t ride at all for 4 months.

Then the following year (2015) I rode from April - December, 4-5 times a week. I don’t sacrifice much time away from my son either… because I fit in rides while he’s napping, or before he wakes up in the am, or after he goes to bed at night. I managed to ride all winter this year by getting up at 4:20 am and riding in the dark before work. Now that the days are longer, I am riding after my son goes to bed.

My horse just turned 6 this past week, and is generally quite dependable but I’ve starting longeing before riding just to be on the safe side. I’ve been working out and staying fit so I feel much better in the saddle now than I did at this point in my previous pregnancy. I am hoping to keep riding for another month or two at most, but I’m taking it day by day at this point and am just happy to be able to ride and happy that my horse is going well.

It’s nice to read your stories!!

[Larissa]

Another pregnancy hater here. Not for any particular reason other than the people-magnet part of it. I shun pretty much all pregnancy advice - eat what I want, exercise how I like, wear what I want, etc. Ups the people-magnet factor even more. People just HAVE to comment to let me know I’m killing my baby - one older lady at work actually told me I had to take off my heels immediately. What if I tipped over and squashed my baby? I stayed very small last go round and received more than one OMG is your baby ok? Why are you so tiny? from relative strangers. Well, since you asked lady, I have a small uterus. Why is yours so cavernous?

For those struggling with the alone-ness of pregnancy I definitely recommend seeking out other people in the same stage of life - in person, online, whatever. Gotta have someone on speed dial who can relate to being kicked in the cervix. I recommend someone like me, who has a mix of horrifying and mortifying pregnancy and birth stories that you can comfort yourself with will never happen to you

[tolts4fun]

Checking in at 34 weeks. I can’t say I enjoy being pregnant right now, either. I look forward to having the baby in my arms, though! This past week I’ve started to feel really irritable. I’m not sure if it’s hormones or just being big/uncomfortable. I’m not expecting things to get any more comfortable within the next 6 weeks lol. Did anybody else experience irritability towards the end of their pregnancies? Even though it’s difficult now, I’m very grateful - everybody has been supportive, and most of the pregnancy has been super easy.

The weather is great, and I really miss riding my horse. That’s the hardest thing for me right now. I keep reminding myself it’s only a short break, and I can always get back into it later!

[pinkpony321]

Any new moms having a hard time with a different kind of anxiety while riding? I’m not a fearful rider, and I’m still not scared for me, but I find myself being more risk averse because I don’t want to not be there for my kid if something should go wrong. For example, I haven’t been able to ride for a few weeks but my main ride is at a show this weekend, just to hang after being unshown since I got pregnant…I’m hesitating because of nerves, but they’re different. Not scared of pain or injury, but of not being able to care for my baby if I hit the dirt. Horse can be kind of a turd and unpredictable. Make any sense? Am I crazy?

[pinkpony321]

In response to my previous post, yes, I am crazy. I showed yesterday, it was glorious, everyone was great.

I really came here this morning to wish everyone a happy Mother’s Day! Hope you all get to spend the day doing exactly what you want to do!

[Larissa]

Ha pinkpony, everything about being a mom makes you “crazy”! I’m glad you hopped on despite your …reservations? It’s always good to face down the little fears in your head. Definitely as a mom I give a lot more thought to safety but have really only eliminated the truly dangerous things from my life. Everything else is sort of a high risk but low-probability kind of activity and I try to use that knowledge to keep my crazy in check

Hope everyone had a fabulous Mother’s Day! New moms, experienced moms, expecting moms, mothers with losses… it’s just one little day to recognize what a special contribution you’ve made to the world. I don’t particularly celebrate but throwing my dude up on a horse made me smile

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13177542_689547344516678_987791381917105265_n.jpg?oh=90ea79d20486cd54070b512c33c02d45&oe=57A3B638

[KellyEq94]

new to the group

Hi everyone, glad this group is here - I am an adult re-rider AND nearly 9 weeks pregnant. A lot to deal with mentally, so lovely that there are support groups in place.

I’m writing to her about your own experience with OBs. I had an average pregnancy with my son (I was on a long break from riding at that point) and a c-section delivery. My son is now 3 and I’m 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. My OB said absolutely no to riding due to fall risk (despite my explaining that I rode for 11 years into my 20s, then time off, then another 1.5 years of riding 3x a week on horses I trust).

In addition to that risk, she said she isn’t sure about “all that bouncing around,” which tells me she knows nothing about our sport. I lease a jumper and I just want to do some W/T/C for the rest of this month and maybe continue my lease in June, too. But the doctor has me spooked.

Would love to hear your experiences if you’d be willing to share. Thanks in advance.

[KellyEq94]

You’re not crazy, I had a long road back to riding without a lot of fear after I had my first. Took me quite a while and it’s still a bit of an issue for me but I tell myself a happy mom is a good mom and riding makes me SO happy. Focusing on that helps me keep my brain from going to crazy places.

[KingoftheRoad]

Well, my OB said since I’ve been riding for 15 years, there shouldn’t be any problem with continuing to ride as long as I feel comfortable. I’m 27 weeks now, haven’t gained a ton of weight yet, and still riding about 3x a week - mainly W/T/C, but popped over a few 2’ verticals last weekend, which felt great. Of course there is a fall risk, but there is also a risk of car accidents, tripping and falling down stairs, etc. My OB was adamant that you have to continue to live your life, so you don’t resent the pregnancy. Not to mention that for some of us, riding is the mental stress relief that we need from the rest of life, which is also beneficial. She also said the baby is well protected, at least during the first two trimesters, so you don’t need to worry about the “bouncing around” piece.

Oh, and I’m 39, and this is my first, so I’m considered “elderly” in the pregnancy world…

That being said, I was coming on the board this morning to ask if anyone had any tips for making riding more comfortable the further you get along. I still don’t have much of a baby bump, can still fit in my breeches, but the last couple of rides, the bladder piece has been more uncomfortable than in the past. Posting the trot is kinda uncomfortable, like there is a bowling ball sitting on my bladder. Canter is better, since I mainly hang in two-point, but for some reason I can even sit the canter more comfortably than the trot.

I don’t really feel like I’m at the point yet to stop riding, because my balance is still fine - my horse tripped last week, and I was able to maintain upper body position without any issues, and even jumping small stuff, have been able to keep pretty good position as well.

Anyone have any suggestions to make the next few weeks a bit less uncomfortable? jhg suggested a belly band, so I’m going to try that this afternoon and see if maybe my breeches are actually tighter than I think they are…

[KingoftheRoad]

Still going…

Well, my OB said since I’ve been riding for 15 years, there shouldn’t be any problem with continuing to ride as long as I feel comfortable. I’m 27 weeks now, haven’t gained a ton of weight yet, and still riding about 3x a week - mainly W/T/C, but popped over a few 2’ verticals last weekend, which felt great. Of course there is a fall risk, but there is also a risk of car accidents, tripping and falling down stairs, etc. My OB was adamant that you have to continue to live your life, so you don’t resent the pregnancy. Not to mention that for some of us, riding is the mental stress relief that we need from the rest of life, which is also beneficial. She also said the baby is well protected, at least during the first two trimesters, so you don’t need to worry about the “bouncing around” piece.

Oh, and I’m 39, and this is my first, so I’m considered “elderly” in the pregnancy world…

That being said, I was coming on the board this morning to ask if anyone had any tips for making riding more comfortable the further you get along. I still don’t have much of a baby bump, can still fit in my breeches, but the last couple of rides, the bladder piece has been more uncomfortable than in the past. Posting the trot is kinda uncomfortable, like there is a bowling ball sitting on my bladder. Canter is better, since I mainly hang in two-point, but for some reason I can even sit the canter more comfortably than the trot.

I don’t really feel like I’m at the point yet to stop riding, because my balance is still fine - my horse tripped last week, and I was able to maintain upper body position without any issues, and even jumping small stuff, have been able to keep pretty good position as well.

Anyone have any suggestions to make the next few weeks a bit less uncomfortable? jhg suggested a belly band, so I’m going to try that this afternoon and see if maybe my breeches are actually tighter than I think they are…