PTS- and memorial

[murphyluv]

I have an appointment Monday to put down my 26 year old cushings horse. It has been a heartbreaking decision, he had just recovered from a laminitic episode this spring, and was being treated for Cushings, but the fall rise slammed into him last Friday. We just can’t keep him comfortable.

I have been there for horses pts before, and I’ve seen bodies moved, but never my own horse. The barn owner, who is a friend, strongly encouraged me to not be there for the actual event itself, and definitely not there if he needs to be moved after death. Horses are buried on her property, which is about 200 acres and acceptable by all the regulations here.

If he has a severe worsening of symptoms, we will make an emergency call, but the excavator and vet are both available Monday.

My question is- should I be there for the euthanasia itself? I am aware it can sometimes be traumatic when the horse drops. Or just spend the morning with him, letting him eat as much grass as he wants with some banamine on board?

Also, I’m not one to wear jewelry, so horse hair bracelets and things are not appealing- but is there something else I can do with his tail hair?

I have shoes he wore at some point a few years ago- what can I do with these as a memorial?

Thank you for any input.

[IdahoRider]

@murphyluv

I have an appointment Monday to put down my 26 year old cushings horse. It has been a heartbreaking decision, he had just recovered from a laminitic episode this spring, and was being treated for Cushings, but the fall rise slammed into him last Friday. We just can’t keep him comfortable.

I have been there for horses pts before, and I’ve seen bodies moved, but never my own horse. The barn owner, who is a friend, strongly encouraged me to not be there for the actual event itself, and definitely not there if he needs to be moved after death. Horses are buried on her property, which is about 200 acres and acceptable by all the regulations here.

If he has a severe worsening of symptoms, we will make an emergency call, but the excavator and vet are both available Monday.

My question is- should I be there for the euthanasia itself? I am aware it can sometimes be traumatic when the horse drops. Or just spend the morning with him, letting him eat as much grass as he wants with some banamine on board?

Also, I’m not one to wear jewelry, so horse hair bracelets and things are not appealing- but is there something else I can do with his tail hair?

I have shoes he wore at some point a few years ago- what can I do with these as a memorial?

Thank you for any input.

I don’t have any memorial ideas for you, but I wanted to extend my sympathy. I let my 25 year old Cushing’s boy go almost a year ago. It is heartbreaking. But the right thing to do.

I opted not to be there for the actual euthanasia. But I did spend the morning filling him with all the treats he had been denied for five years because he was also IR. My opinion is that each situation is different and each owner needs to decide what is best as far as being there or not.
Sheilah

[2DogsFarm]

{Hugs} The most difficult decision we make.
But we do it for them.

Being there is a very personal decision.
I’ve stayed for one, left before the actual euth for another - both doing what my gut & heart said was right at the time.
Not sure I could handle seeing the body moved, even though I consider it just a shell.
Both of mine were pts at a vet college clinic & donated for research.

For the tail hair, consider a key fob.
I have some hair - not all tail - from 3 of my horses & keep intending to prep it for this use.
I’m not a jewelry-wearer either, but I do have keys

[CHT]

Our farrier will polish shoes for his clients to then be used as a picture frame.
There are potters who make pottery with some hair mixed in.

I have always been there for euthanasias, but I leave before they start to load/move the body. I usually leave and go for a walk. I think it does help me to be there, but I wouldn’t judge someone who felt differently. I don’t think I could be there if it was a bullet, even though I know that is humane.

[RHdobes563]

I’ve been there for my last two horses. In both cases, everything went smoother and easier than each vet told me could happen (worst case scenario?). I was glad to be there, to say loving words and give caresses to the Very End. I wasn’t there when the bodies were picked up—we can’t bury them on the property—but left before they were taken away.

Since I had had to do this before with many of my dogs (including the Best Dog Ever), it was an ‘easy’ decision for me to be there. However, my cousin and good friend is considering this with HER horse. I told her that there is NO wrong decision. If she wants to be there, fine; if not, fine. I told her, too, if she didn’t want to be there but wanted SOMEONE (other than the barn owner) to be there, I would stand in for her.

Again, there is NO WRONG decision.

[joiedevie99]

You can also opt to stay with him until he’s fully sedated (assuming your vet does it that way). Then you can sit with him on the ground until you are ready. And go for a walk while the vet gives the final injection.

[Scarlet_Gilia]

{{{Hugs}}} to you in this situation.

Horse hair pottery appeals to me as a memorial. This site explains the process. I have never seen this type of pottery in person, but will be searching for a suitable potter when I euthanize my retiree. https://www.madstoneraku.com/horse-hair-pottery/

[cayuse]

I had bookends made from my horses shoes. Two shoes welded together, one upright and the other flat to go under the books. My farrier did it for me. I know someone who had a pottery vase made with the mane/tail fired into it and it was very pretty. I am sorry that you are facing this. I always choose not to be there as I can’t emotionally handle it. I’m a tough old bat, but not when it comes to my horses or cats. We are all different, do what you feel comfortable with and don’t let anyone try to push you into staying (or not staying) for the euth.

[gottagrey]

First, I’m a believer in being there for my animals. Yes it’s hard and if it’s difficult I can walk away but I can’t get there to be with them once it’s over. Yes, some equine euthansias don’t go so well. I recently put my heart horse down, I gave him some treats, waited for the vet. I stroked his head until it was “time” and then the vet guided him down. It was as peaceful as it could be. I gave him a final pat and kiss.

So think about it. yes its harder but would you regret not being there? You can step away when it’s necessary. Absolutely agree with not being there later.

As far as memorials go- I’ve seen some nice things done with hair… maybe you have a luck catcher made, or key chains made. I was just looking at this website - http://myhorseart.com/. There are some neat things on there. There are some nice horse statues which aren’t too goofy looking, I might order one.

I’m sorry you have to say goodbye to your horse. As far as being there - the only right choice is what you think is best for you. Don’t be swayed by what your barn owner says or what any of us say - do you you feel in your heart. Hugs to you.

[Tarlo_Farm]

Trot On, that’s beautiful! I have always been there for mine to the bitter end. It’s never anything but sad. We can still bury on farm land here and I have an excavator friend who will sling the horses under the girth and flank area to move them so no one is getting dragged anywhere. I did have my first heart horse put down in a pasture a 1/4 mile from my house where I wanted him buried outside my bedroom window. I’d known him since he was 6 months old and I was 12, bought him when he was 2, then put him down just shy of his 34th birthday. The day after we put him down, Kenny slung him and loaded him into my truck to drive back to the house. Rigor mortis had set in, so his stiff legs kind of stuck out over the edge of the truck. I had to giggle looking in the rearview mirror at those old stiff legs as I crawled down the dirt road. RIP Tarlo!

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

Being there or not is entirely up to you; there’s no right or wrong decision.

I’ve been there for every one of my horses when it was time. There can be times when it goes badly, but usually it’s very peaceful. The vet gives the sedative, then the euthanasia drugs. They may take a little time to go down, or it may be before the shot is even finished, like my 35+ year old mare. Every horse is different. Sometimes they do a ‘dog-sit,’ and sometimes they just go down. There are sometimes twitches and things that happen as the synapses stop firing, but your horse is gone by that time. It’s not ‘him,’ it’s just the body’s powering-down process.

If you can handle watching those final shots be administered, and you can stay calm for your horse, you can stay with him, IMO. If neither of those is the case, then is there someone he trusts who can hold the lead rope?

I am not able to not be there, especially for my cats and dogs. They need me there. It’s the last thing I can do for them. But as I said, there’s no right answer for everyone.

ETA - the horsehair pottery is beautiful - I’ve seen a couple in person, and they are gorgeous. I also saw one where the potter made a horse on top of the lid, and used the hair for the horse’s tail, but I’ve never found another one like it.

[RedHorses]

I stayed for both of mine and left before the deadstock truck arrived. I agree that there is no wrong answer. Stay if you want to and can be calm enough to not upset your horse. Leave if you want to - if you think you’ll upset your horse, or if you want to not have the memory of it, or whatever.

The pictures aren’t loading for me, but I think I had http://myhorseart.com/ make a horsehair pottery bust for one of my horses. I love it.

I did a shadow box for my first horse with his bridle, a photo, a lock of mane, one of his shoes, and a couple of engraved plates. I want to do one with my second horse’s halter but haven’t done it yet.

[OverandOnward]

Your horse does not know what is happening. That is the great gift we can give them. Natural death is usually not so kind.

So, in my opinion, it makes no difference to your horse if you are there or not. They do not need you, because they don’t know.

I had a time schedule plan for the last day. I had already spent time with my horse in previous days, including the day before. Got photos and video. And that would have been enough. On the day of, I did go to him again and just had some last hug time. He was normal, didn’t know anything was going on. I had allowed plenty of time before the euth in case I felt I needed more time, but I didn’t, and left as soon as I was ready. The euth happened about an hour later.

Personally I am definitely not going to be there when the body is loaded, transported, whatever is going to happen - not doing that.

[sheep_with_a_gun]

I am so sorry you are in this place. Sending many hugs to you.

Maybe you could do something like this frame on Etsy? https://www.etsy.com/listing/671437349 I’m sure you or a crafty friend could put together a similar thing for much cheaper.

[murphyluv]

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. I have some good ideas here on ways to honor his memory.
A friend of mine owns the barn where he has been for the last several years. She is taking care of the arrangements for euthanasia and burial, and he trusts her. I will play it by ear but likely will not be there for the euthanasia itself. Depends on how upset I am on Monday. Thank you for the advice on this. At least I have some time to come to terms with the decision. When I pts my first dog last year, my heart dog, the most traumatizing memory that replayed in my mind over the few days afterward was the moment she died, literally in the middle of licking ice cream off a spoon. nothing can prepare you for that. And for a horse, that event can be a little more traumatizing with being such a large prey animal, even when things are done as carefully as possible. I would never not be there for a house pet- it just seems indifferent to drop them off at a vet- a stressful experience. A horse- as @OverandOnward stated, it’s probably not as traumatizing to them- they don’t know what’s happening and to them is just a routine vet visit where they get lots of treats.
Thank you again. He’s my first horse and been with me for 15 years.