Question of Etiquette: Name changes and monograms, plates, etc.

[AprilKisses]

Overall, a very trivial thought, but I am curious nonetheless!

If you were engaged and planned to change your name to your spouse’s when married both legally and everyday use ie. in the horse world- would you start getting monograms or plates (for blankets, tack, bandage slings, etc.) with your soon-to-be married name/initials?

If it were a new purchase, and labeling was for the sake of identification, it seems to me it would make more sense to use the “future” name vs. your maiden name that would not be the name you used going forward… but I am unsure about the correctness of this.

I think it would be a pain to have to re-do names at a later date or have things left with the maiden name if you already know you won’t carry the name going forward.

I’d love to hear about other’s thoughts on it!

[peedin]

If you are truly concerned about etiquette, you would hold off on getting your new name on stuff until after the ceremony. Most people here don’t give a darn about etiquette and will tell you to do what you want.

[SendenHorse]

I’d go ahead and order things in the new name, since it might take awhile to be produced and it seems like the wedding is relatively soon?

No point in getting anything with the current initials since you will be left with a bunch of custom stuff you can’t sell and it would double your costs.

My answer isn’t really about what others think–however, if you do start using the new name prior people might be confused who it is

[GoForAGallop]

I know plenty of people who have a mix of old and new initial monograms. Nobody cared enough/had enough money to replace big $$$ items just because of one incorrect initial.

But really, do whatever you want.

Although going with the new name before it’s official sounds like a great way to jinx yourself. :lol::lol:

[Giddy-up]

I was engaged. Because it was the same letter for the last name I just used initials for awhile rather than using my last name anymore.

But we didn’t get married in the end so the skeptic in me says not to do anything til after it’s all done & you officially change your name.

[FLeventer]

After being engaged and not going through with it, Id say wait until after the ceremony. Dont jinx anything.

[gottagrey]

If you have old stuff that needs to be replaced then order it - but agree until after the I Do’s… and FWIW your married initials would your first name, maiden surname and new last name, i.e. Mary Elizabeth Smith marries John Martin your initials would be MSM

because I’m practical I’d keep the old monogrammed stuff as long as it fit my horse, my body and replace as necessary.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptuals!

[Daventry]

As others have said already, I would wait. You can easily add monogramming, plates, etc. after you are married and your name has been officially changed.

[Renn_aissance]

It is for this reason that I have told my sister that for Christmas next year, after my fiance and I tie the knot, I would like monogrammed saddle pads. All of my baby pads are all between 10 and 15 years old and starting to show it, but I’m holding out.

[Gestalt]

I don’t know why women still change their name, it’s so confusing when they change it back after the divorce and then change it again when they remarry.

But if you’re going to do it, wait until that really is your new name. Do you have to buy new items now, are they worn out and can’t make it a few more months? Don’t listen to me, I’m not a monogram person!

[AprilKisses]

Thanks for the input guys! Wedding is not exactly around the corner, haven’t quite finalized a date just yet.

I switched barns after retiring my own show horse and at the moment I’m riding with a couple different barns and trainers. Before getting out to shows towards the end of the season I will need to replace all of my things that have my previous trainer’s colors/logo (scrim, cooler, bandage sling, bonnet, etc.). At this point I know that over the next couple of years who I ride with will depend a little bit on who’s horses I’m riding, so I was simply going to get all of my stuff done with just my name/monogram vs. a particular barn logo.

Maybe I will order them without for now and use little tags for identification, then take them all back for embroidery after the wedding.

[trubandloki]

OP, since your wedding date is not even picked yet I think getting your future initials on something is kind of crazy. Stick with your current initials. No one is going to care if you are using equipment with a monogram that is not quite right after you get married.

@gottagrey;8749467

FWIW your married initials would your first name, maiden surname and new last name, i.e. Mary Elizabeth Smith marries John Martin your initials would be MSM

This is a personal choice thing. Some people do it this way, some people just change their last name. There is no rule that you have to move your maiden name to your middle name.

[SendenHorse]

[QUOTE=trubandloki;8751981]

This is a personal choice thing. Some people do it this way, some people just change their last name. There is no rule that you have to move your maiden name to your middle name.[/QUOTE]

right, for what it’s worth, and that is probably nothing :yes:I have never heard of this being “what people do”. Could be more of a regional/family tradition thing?

I would just do the simplest/cheapest thing now that is required and then go from there.

I like your idea of tags!

[ChasPonyCat]

[QUOTE=SendenHorse;8752434]
right, for what it’s worth, and that is probably nothing :yes:I have never heard of this being “what people do”. Could be more of a regional/family tradition thing?

I would just do the simplest/cheapest thing now that is required and then go from there.

I like your idea of tags![/QUOTE]

I have also never heard of the maiden name becoming the middle name thing being “the thing to do.” I can think of a couple of people that have done this. The majority of people I know changed their last name but kept their original middle name. One friend has two last names, but not hyphenated.

I DO think MSM are pretty horse-appropriate initials, however…

[mand_asbfan]

I had my saddle cover embroidered with my first name so I didn’t have to deal with this issue later on

[Lucassb]

[QUOTE=AprilKisses;8751956]
Thanks for the input guys! Wedding is not exactly around the corner, haven’t quite finalized a date just yet.

I switched barns after retiring my own show horse and at the moment I’m riding with a couple different barns and trainers. Before getting out to shows towards the end of the season I will need to replace all of my things that have my previous trainer’s colors/logo (scrim, cooler, bandage sling, bonnet, etc.). At this point I know that over the next couple of years who I ride with will depend a little bit on who’s horses I’m riding, so I was simply going to get all of my stuff done with just my name/monogram vs. a particular barn logo.

Maybe I will order them without for now and use little tags for identification, then take them all back for embroidery after the wedding.[/QUOTE]

I would worry a lot more about matching whatever barn you end up showing with than I would about the initials/monograms that are on those items, actually. A lot of trainers are particular about clients using “their colors” (as you clearly have experienced based on your note about replacing things in your previous trainer’s colors/logo.)

[OldLadyYoungOTTB]

If you haven’t even set a date yet, I’d wait.

However, I will admit that I don’t think I’ve ever actually paid attention to the letters in a monogram, so if it’s just a monogram, do whatever you want. The last name might be weird of you’re not married yet. Or, just put a horse’s name on there instead.

[OldLadyYoungOTTB]

[QUOTE=Lucassb;8752550]
I would worry a lot more about matching whatever barn you end up showing with than I would about the initials/monograms that are on those items, actually. A lot of trainers are particular about clients using “their colors” (as you clearly have experienced based on your note about replacing things in your previous trainer’s colors/logo.)[/QUOTE]

Yep, our trainer very much prefers a certain color.

[costco_muffins]

As someone who was gifted a halter with a nameplate bearing my future married name, I was thrilled and touched with the gift.

However, that horse was injured and had to be put down while I was on my honeymoon - so I never even got to see him wear the halter.

Given that, I would never gift someone something with a married name on it until they were married, and likewise not order it myself either. I would simply hold off for a few months and order it when I didn’t feel like it could be jinxed.

[King_Creole]

I have a mix of initials.

About 3-4 months before the wedding I ordered a name plate that I used married name on since I was close.

Before that, I was still using maiden name/initials. I didn’t want to jinx anything before even knowing I was going to be with this guy and marry him lol

Funny Story:
My initals went from being JNL to JLN after getting married. Before we got married, my husband mentions “oh, you won’t have to change your monograms since they are in order.” No sweetie. They aren’t correct anymore. Now I just look like someone who doesn’t understand first/last/middle but yea…I really don’t care!