Snort
I think so too.
The trainers ( term used loosely) of your past were wrong. Beating a horse into doing what you desire is not training at all and is abusive.
Using a crop or spurs " gently" as a reinforcement of your aids WHEN NEEDED is not.
If you are consistently needing spurs or crop to get your horse to do as you ask, then you need help in training her/ him because your horse does not know what you want.
[QUOTE=thecolorcoal;8787082]
maybe my experience is unique. i don’t know. i haven’t been able to find forum posts or experiences that replicate it.
i LOVE my horse more than any other human or animal. i go out every night to feed her, pet her, brush her, hose her legs, check to make sure she is healthy, and i read her a bed time story before i leave.[/QUOTE]
You’re in your mid-twenties, and reading your horse a bed time story every night? Yep, that’s unique alright…:eek:
Yes, I’d reinforce the suggestion that to find horsepeople worth learning from, look at how their horses go and behave, rather than what they say about their riding and horsemanship. Lots of people talk good and sound convincing, until you see their horses. Listen to what they say, but stay sceptical until you see it in action.
As far as being close to a horse, yeah. But they’d always rather be with their own kind. You don’t matter to them as much as they matter to you (except to the extent that they would starve to death in the barn without you). That’s perfectly all right. Lots of great things can happen in this relationship, much more than just the show horse model. Now dogs, I do honestly think dogs can love us more than we love them :). Horses, not so much. Maybe that’s why I prefer horses! Less clingy 
Everyone is an expert and everyone has an opinion and it can be hard at times to tell the difference between a true expert and the fakers.
I would suggest reading up on some of the more classical training methods. Find a trainer you can trust to work with (how do they ride and happy are their horses?). Forget about all the “experts”.
[QUOTE=thecolorcoal;8787082]
i LOVE my horse more than any other human or animal. i go out every night to feed her, pet her, brush her, hose her legs, check to make sure she is healthy, and i read her a bed time story before i leave. [/QUOTE]
What do you read to her?
What is her favorite book?
Wait, let me guess…50 Shades of Hay?
Maybe this is a joke post, and that last line about the bedtime story (which I missed on first read) is the tip-off. Like all those April Fool’s news stories that start out sounding plausible, then get sillier and sillier until by the end you know it’s a joke. But if you just read the headline and the first couple of paragraphs you go away believing it was true. If so I got taken in here too
The bedtime story is a hyperbole.
OP, there are yards of all extremes out there. As others have said, it seems you started on one extreme and ended at the other! IMHO, the best place is somewhere in between. Lately, probably because of the Olympics, I’ve seen many “my poor poneh-woneh needs pampering love and kisses on his toesies after a trim and I ride him with spider silk and cotton wool for tack” types come out of the woodwork to criticize and ridicule competition. My eye-rolly muscles are getting strained. Please do some research before you (for example) proclaim a grackle noseband to be horribly cruel and the mark of someone who cannot control their horse, whilst singing the praises of bitless.
I’ve had horses who go wonderfully in a simple single jointed snaffle, or some that prefer the now so popular double-jointed plated lozenger. Then there’s a mare I had who hated single or double jointed bits; she preferred either a single-bar or a waterford mouthpiece. To each horse his best I say.
As for punishment, again: extremes. My horse will be reprimanded with anything from a firm “No” to a stinging whack on the barrel or chest, depending on the severity of the behaviour. I’ve been at yards where a horse would be smacked through the face for moving, because “she should know better” and at yards where a horse is literally plowing over the owner, who is muttering, “No, that’s naughty. Stop it.” Neither way works. A horse needs to be respectful of discipline but not scared of it.
In the early days of the “natural horsemanship” movement it was common for the likes of Robert and Parelli to double dog damn ALL training that went before as cruel and ineffective and demand that only their particular flavor be used as it was the ONLY method that was humane and effective. Of course their criticisms were bunk then and such critiques are bunk now.
The OP may or may not be exercising the privileges of their “poetic license” but what they have said are things that I have often observed over time. Many are even reflected in various threads in various forms on various aspects of training and equipment.
The Moral of the Story: Beware of Zealots.
G.
My training philosophy is as follows- be open minded and willing to learn from anyone, whether it’s learning a new technique or simply what not to do. File it all away in your “tool box” and use when needed. Don’t get caught in the trap of one size fits all when it comes to training.
Equestrian Guilt: NO ONE gets treats because my Best.Pony.Ever has Cushings and is not allowed. Everyone is treat deprived. Everyone nickers softly when my mom (elder) comes in because she used to give them sugar cubes. NOT TREATS FOR YOU.
THAT, my dear, is equestrian guilt 
Reminds me of my favorite quote from The Siege…“I tend to be suspicious of all true believers.”
So-who chooses the bedtime story-you or your horse?
'Cause if you chose without her input, you are dominating her and crippling her self expression. Her personal growth will be stunted, and she will be unable to explore her true potential.
Sorry to be flip.
Go get a copy of Commonsense Horsemanship and read the Captain’s first chapter, Imagine You Are a Horse, continue to take the excellent care of your mare that you do, and tell your fellow boarders to kindly mind their own business.
you can only change the future not the past
[QUOTE=TBROCKS;8788463]
You’re in your mid-twenties, and reading your horse a bed time story every night? Yep, that’s unique alright…:eek:[/QUOTE]
Wow that is some judgmental snark. Is reading a book to a horse in one’s mid-twenties worse than being the same age and catching Pokemons? (If OP was serious) Can’t say I’d do that, but if that’s your game, who am I to judge?
Why care/judge what other people do if they aren’t hurting anyone?
[QUOTE=WWGeorgeMorrisD;8792133]
you can only change the future not the past[/QUOTE]
Unless you’re a PR professional or a PhH in History or lawyer.
G.
Clinton Anderson has made a fortune off the people in OP’s new barn, who think their 1200 pound animal is a cute little puppy … and discover, generally the hard way, that horses are too big and too strong to treat that way.
I’m afraid, if this post is real, that OP has fallen in with the Disney movies are real crowd. Which, like my mother says, is all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
OP - if this is even a real post - quit worrying about what your new barn mates think. Why do you think THEY are right and not you? Stop for a minute and think. Horses aren’t people. They aren’t really even as smart as your average house cat (prey is never as smart as predator…). We’ve bred horses to be slightly nicer than wild horses, but still… they are motivated by food, rest, fear, and being accepted as part of the herd. Horses place in society is a massive driving force. They are OK with you being the leader, but somebody HAS to lead. If you don’t, there’s a very real possibility of being eaten by wolves… so horse is going to be the leader. Your new barn mates are going to find that out, possibly with disastrous consequences.
More importantly, your horse has a job to do. 23 hours a day, she’s on her own time. The least she can do is pay attention for the 1 hour a day you ask for her attention. Demand respect, be a leader, get some self-confidence in your own thought process, and watch what happens. I think you’ll see changes in your relationships with people, too.
Make your own truths! The new wave crowd will guilt you into thinking that
everything we are used to is evil.
There are so many opinions about training, tack, feed, and care of a horse. I think you are admirable to question the reasons for your techniques and those which you were taught, and I don’t think it is a bad thing to question yourself if someone says you are doing something cruel. It is a good opportunity to learn and think about things – if you are at all intelligent, you will continue to learn new things about horses your whole life.
Once you have sorted out for yourself the reasons you use certain types of training techniques, tack, or discipline, cut yourself some slack and realize there is a spectrum of behavior which people value/use – many of which work. Try to have a little confidence in your choices and just be aware that you will never be in agreement with everyone.
Also, think about the fact that some barns have people who are so opinionated or annoying or free with their criticism that it can put you in a position where you have to tell them to back off, or in some cases, find a barn where you fit in better. There are many threads on this forum about that issue!
[QUOTE=Guilherme;8792665]
Unless you’re a PR professional or a PhH in History or lawyer.
G.[/QUOTE]
:lol:
