Reaching your limits

[ClassAction]

I posted about this in the dressage forum but on further thought this applies in this forum as well (perhaps applies even better).

This past week I’ve been gearing up for finals and have been driving myself fairly hard. As a result, I’m tired tired tired. In my lesson on Wednesday I knew that I was tired but I didn’t realize until I got on how “disconnected” I was. I couldn’t get my body to follow my brain’s signals as it would on a normal day.

I have a non-physical disability so mental fatigue and stress impact my riding…rather a lot. It’s a nasty cycle in which my body is tired so I feel bad about my riding which sets me up for an episode which in turn does other fun things. You get the idea. In hindsight, the best thing would have been for me to say “OK, since I know I won’t be able to cut myself slack about not riding well, I should sleep instead.” Easier said than done!

I’d really like to hear what other folks do when they’ve reached a limit, physical or not, and how they’ve dealt with that.

[Invite]

It’s taken lots of hard work and many illnesses for me to be able to say enough is enough and I need rest. Mental and emotional stress take their toll on my body. If I stress myself out over things for a long period, I get physically ill with things such as bronchitis and sinus infections. My body’s latest trick is dropping my blood sugar super low so I cannot function. If I overdo things physically, my body pays a huge price with pain and limited movement.

I now have a chair at the barn. I park my tush in it when I start getting tired. I force myself to take breaks. I might call a friend on the phone or do a mundane task like rolling bandages. I allow time for breaks, as I have learned that I need them.

If I am too tired, I don’t ride. If I am in a lot of pain, I don’t ride. Riding takes a lot of physical strength. When I am tired, I am setting myself up for an accident. I have enough strikes against me that I don’t need to add exhausted to the list. My horse does not mind having a day off. I would rather not ride then put in a crappy ride that leaves my horse needing to be “fixed” and me feeling like a nimrod.

I know exactly what you mean re: your body not following what your brain tells it to do. That’s how my body generally works b/c of my disease. It makes riding tough sometimes. In my case, it makes walking, writing, and other everyday tasks difficult.

If you are tired, do not feel that you have to ride. Sleep is under rated by many. Don’t feel like you have to be able to do it all because Tom, Dick, and Harry can. We are all individuals and we all have different limits. Cut yourself some slack. Look at what you are accomplishing rather then what you cannot do…it was a very hard lesson for me and I am still working on accepting it.

Sorry for all the rambling. I know where you are coming from.

[DressageGeek_Ribbon]

Oh, this is a very fine line I often fall over. Part of it is my style: I enjoy rising to a challenge and when there are deadlines for grants etc I pull out all the stops for weeks, and then take a break. And unless I’m running a high fever, I don’t always realize I am too physically sick to continue.

What truly made me stop and think was my horse: he’s very attuned to me, and there are repercussions. If I am too tired to balance properly, or give my aids, I not only don’t help him, I can do him harm. If I am leaning forward and dragging, that’s how he’ll move, too. If I am worried about something, he’ll worry.

So I have learned to give myself permission to not ride. If it’s too hot/cold, if I don’t have enough time, if I don’t want to overdo, I might either get in the saddle and focus largely on suppling exercises at the walk, or free lunge/long rein/work in hand. But I also allow myself to just go out there and spend time without working. While I am very mindful that I want to keep my horse in good condition, a few days, even a few weeks, is not going to change anything.

And as surprising as it always is, my horse never forgets anything during that time, and often I’m better when I do pick up the reins again.

It’s not so easy to be nice to yourself, is it?!

[RMJacobs]

I’m pretty contrary when it comes to running full tilt into my limits. I do better when I push through. This goes against all the conventional wisdom for people with rheumatoid arthritis, but it works for me for some reason.

An example–I work for a large company doing system support, and I am on call every seven weeks. Our on call isn’t just a matter of getting a call if something breaks–it requires active monitoring of nightly processes until they are finished each evening, which can be any time between 8 pm and at the start of the next workday, plus fixing whatever breaks. This is on top of working a full day in the office, and goes on for a week at a time. By the time my week is up, I’m usually pretty raggedy.

My last on call went south in a big way, and I was up all Friday night. I finally got to sleep around 7 am on Saturday, and got a call from a user at 8 am. I solved the user’s problem, gave up on sleeping, and took my pony out for a drive. When I got back from doing that, I went for a bike ride.

My husband thinks I’m totally insane, but I can only rarely sleep during the day, and if I’m gonna feel like I was run over by a truck, I’d rather distract myself doing the things I love instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself. If I can just get myself moving, I can create enough momentum to get through until I can sleep that night.

Rebecca

[cadriver]

So maybe I reached mine today:-) Went into Hospital Last Tuesday for 2days for blood clots in lungs. When the Dr. said he was going to put me on lovinox shots (blood thinner) Wed morning rather then leaving me on on IV I said can I go home then? So came home Thursday figure if I can give a horse a shot I can give myself one 2 times a day, and I can give it where I don’t feel it. Kind of like sticking an orange:-)

Anyways spent Th,F,Sat in bed and on my lounge chair. Xmas party today for our driving club free driving in the morning, potluck lunch, I figured I would just go without horses. Well, the trailer was calling me, since the carriage etc was still loaded from last weekend. And I took both horses (the 5 yr old and 13 year old) and drove. My mom thought I was crazy along with most other people but I had fun, and the horses were happy to go since they hadn’t been worked in a week… And we are supposed to have rain next week.

So now back to takeing it easy for a few days:-) Though I have to go into work this next week…

I have a hard time telling myself when I have done enough, and then I end up to exhausted to cook, or do basic stuff… And then I get crabby. So when someone else figures out when to make yourself stop tell me:-)

Diane

[ClassAction]

Yeah don’t mess around with your breathing, cadriver! That a little important, right?

I find it very hard to respect my limits. I think if I had physical ones it would be easier but with mental ones I look back and say “Oh yeah, I really should have stopped then.” And I cross my fingers and hope that I haven’t set myself up for something really nasty like a hospital stay.

In many ways, despite being “really on top of my illness” I have small temper tantrums in my head where I want to be able to push myself. Oh well. Color me a perfectionist!

[Invite]

Diane we need you on this board, so take care of yourself!!! And I mean it
If you can’t breathe, you can’t post on COTH. What would we do without you? In all seriousness, lungs are not a body part to be messed with. You need to take care of yourself. I totally understand the need to ride/drive when it’s gorgeous out and the weather is not going to hold, but you have to put your health first. I get aggrivated when it seems as though the only time I feel well is when the weather stinks, but i try to remind myself to take care of myself now so I can enjoy the horses next time the weather is good. It’s super frustrating, but we have fought more difficult battles with our disabilities.

Take care and be careful!

[Wellspotted]

This thread has been helpful to me.

When I saw the title I thought, I need to read this.

I’ve been feeling like I’ve about reached my limit for this year. I’ve been pushing, trying to perfect–or at least improve–trot work, circles, other things, hoping to do some low-level competing in local shows. All of a sudden my body just said, Enough. The cold weather echoed it.

So now I’m going to try just going out to see Blaze and spend time with him (when the rain stops and the weather gets a little warmer), and if I feel like getting up on him and walking around, fine; if not, I can just be with him. I thought I might lower my expectations of myself 'til the end of 2009; now I’m thinking I may keep them lowered into 2010.

[equineartworks]

I’ve beat myself into the ground and I am paying the price for it.

Please, don’t do it. Rest when you need to, no one but you feels you shouldn’t!

[Leena]

[QUOTE=cadriver;4542042]
So maybe I reached mine today:-) Went into Hospital Last Tuesday for 2days for blood clots in lungs. When the Dr. said he was going to put me on lovinox shots (blood thinner) Wed morning rather then leaving me on on IV I said can I go home then? So came home Thursday figure if I can give a horse a shot I can give myself one 2 times a day, and I can give it where I don’t feel it. Kind of like sticking an orange:-)

Anyways spent Th,F,Sat in bed and on my lounge chair. Xmas party today for our driving club free driving in the morning, potluck lunch, I figured I would just go without horses. Well, the trailer was calling me, since the carriage etc was still loaded from last weekend. And I took both horses (the 5 yr old and 13 year old) and drove. My mom thought I was crazy along with most other people but I had fun, and the horses were happy to go since they hadn’t been worked in a week… And we are supposed to have rain next week.

So now back to takeing it easy for a few days:-) Though I have to go into work this next week…

I have a hard time telling myself when I have done enough, and then I end up to exhausted to cook, or do basic stuff… And then I get crabby. So when someone else figures out when to make yourself stop tell me:-)

Diane[/QUOTE]

I certainly don’t have an answer for you…Banging on my limits is part of my battle.
I rode 2 greenies for their first shows last summer; it was just crazy…too much…way too much.
But it is a part of my battle.

Sometimes I am saying I should be more intelligent and wise…You must think about this too !

So now at the least we are 2 !!! Good luck !

[DressageGeek_Ribbon]

Sometimes I think that there is physical health, and mental health, and you need to push your limits for the mental health aspect, and the physical suffers.

[ClassAction]

[QUOTE=DressageGeek “Ribbon Ho”;4561011]
Sometimes I think that there is physical health, and mental health, and you need to push your limits for the mental health aspect, and the physical suffers.[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately I’m one of those who really can’t push the mental health. Every time I try to push too much I end up in, well, let’s just say a really bad place. I think it’s a matter of knowing your issue and in what situation you need to push and where you need to back off!

[cadriver]

So I had the rain to thank last week to make me rest:-) So decided to drive today but just a single horse since I decided to play it smart. Gorgeous sunny morning 51 degress which warmed up to 72 today. Had a great drive with Rupert, tried out a new bit. My uncle is hear from the PNW and thinks it odd that he is hanging xmas lights and getting sun burnt at the same time:-)

So now back to pushing my limits… Next drive I will put the bells on. Might go drive on the beach this weekend.

The thing that has made my life easier, is to always remember to give my self plenty of time to do things. The horse(s) can stand in the cross ties for a long time before being harnessed if I have to rest in between. A clinician asked me once how long it took me to harness and hitch. And I told him as long as it takes:-) I do work backwards, if I have a lesson at 4, then I want to be hitched and warming up at 3:30 so I make sure I start harnessing about 2:45… Gives me time to get them harnessed then last stop at the bathroom before getting in.

Diane

[wateryglen]

No pressure please!

Hey! Why are we so hard on ourselves that we actually apologize for not doing something…meeting some goal or doing something!!! Who are you apologizing to?? ALLOW yourself to just NOT do it!!! There is a point where we just can’t do things. We all get old for example! We’re all gonna get there! Some of us faster than others. So what! Who really cares but you. Take the you outa it! Just NOT do it! No pressure to perform! or accomplish! Your horse loves you no matter what you do or don’t do. Your true friends love you no matter what you do or don’t do!
The glass is half full people! Half full!!!

“Where I am is not where I’m going to stay…I am un-containable”!!!

[Invite]

I love this post!!!

[QUOTE=wateryglen;4567019]
Hey! Why are we so hard on ourselves that we actually apologize for not doing something…meeting some goal or doing something!!! Who are you apologizing to?? ALLOW yourself to just NOT do it!!! There is a point where we just can’t do things. We all get old for example! We’re all gonna get there! Some of us faster than others. So what! Who really cares but you. Take the you outa it! Just NOT do it! No pressure to perform! or accomplish! Your horse loves you no matter what you do or don’t do. Your true friends love you no matter what you do or don’t do!
The glass is half full people! Half full!!!

“Where I am is not where I’m going to stay…I am un-containable”!!![/QUOTE]

We’ve all got to listen to wateryglen!!! She’s got it right

[Stacie]

[QUOTE=DressageGeek “Ribbon Ho”;4561011]
Sometimes I think that there is physical health, and mental health, and you need to push your limits for the mental health aspect, and the physical suffers.[/QUOTE]

Well said.

[Thokki]

Who is pushing me. The silly voice in my head that says “You don’t deserve to have this horse unless you are riding him”. Whose voice? Good question. My horse doesn’t care how many times a week, month, year I ride him. I have a friend that has many of the same mental/physical issues as myself, and we ask eachother “Did you ride today?”, but not in a critical way. We celebrate each and every horsie success that we have and ride together when we can.

[Invite]

[QUOTE=Thokki;4707133]
Who is pushing me. The silly voice in my head that says “You don’t deserve to have this horse unless you are riding him”. Whose voice? Good question. My horse doesn’t care how many times a week, month, year I ride him. I have a friend that has many of the same mental/physical issues as myself, and we ask eachother “Did you ride today?”, but not in a critical way. We celebrate each and every horsie success that we have and ride together when we can.[/QUOTE]

It’s great that you can have a “similar to you” friend who is understanding and supportive.

I’m going a little off the OT, but I’m sure we have all faced a point where friends have vanished into thin air and we lack a support system…

I HAD a so called friend who was constantly making comments about how much happier my horses would be if I sent them to her for “training”. She was not supportive and tried to kill the confidence I had. I have been making a big effort to surround myself by people who are understanding of my physical issues and supportive of my accomplishments, no matter how small.

I suppose my small addition here is even if we can’t find a similarly disabled person, we should not settle for a jerk to be our friend just so we have a “horse friend” in close proximity. Some people are lucky and can find horse friends with similar problems and others have horse friends who are more able bodied or “normal”. In no case, should any of us feel we have to keep that one friend who hangs on just so he/she has the joy of feeling superior. We must surround ourselves with positive people.

PS: By dropping Miss Negative from my life, I have opened tons of doors for myself and have found a great instructor. I have made more horse friends. They are able bodied, but never degrade me or treat me differently.