Recovering from a flip

[KTRider]

I’m a brand new COTHer and I think this is the forum I need.

I’m recovering from a pretty good accident - my girl flipped over on me and got me my first ambulance ride. A fractured hip, some good damage to the back and my pelvic area muscles, but overall a pretty good outcome, considering. This happened about six weeks ago.

I was a lifelong rider but I just came back last fall after ten years off, after another rearing horse sent me to the hospital. I started riding again in the fall of 09, bought my girl early this year and the accident was 4/15. Now I am really struggling.

My mare also hurt herself in the accident - she’s got some damage to the meniscus in the left hind and the prognosis isn’t great right now. She’s also got an old suspensory injury in the left fore we are just finding out about. She’s five this week.

I am struggling; I am afraid of her and she knows it. I flinch with every unexpected move. I don’t think she is coming back from this, and even if she does I am not sure I can ride her. With her injury, I don’t know what to do with her; I don’t want her to end up in a bad place, but I live in an urban area and can’t afford to keep her as a pet and continue to ride myself. She’s a gorgeous little appendix mare, so I am trying to find a broodmare home for her right now, but even that is tough.

Anyway I’ve written a novel already without much point. I guess I am curious - how do you get over the fear? How do you rehome a horse safely so you don’t feel badly about their outcome? How do you decide if the universe is just trying to send you a message? Sorry for the maudlin tone; I am just really having a hard time. Thanks for listening.

[DressageGeek_Ribbon]

That’s a whole lot to answer, and I won’t pretend to have all of them.

About the fear. It is hardly surprising you feel this way. It’s healthy!! It means you are into survival, which is a good thing! Jane Savoie talks about this in “That Winning Feeling” but I think she’s also discussed it at length elsewhere as well (someone help me out here). Reading/thinking will help you when you are not around your mare.
Do you have someone who can help you? Trainer/friend/anyone? Even if you rehome your mare - you don’t want this looming over you (as in, I can only deal with certain horses).

There are many, many here who will have much better advice than I will - I hope they chime in.

And good luck!

[Trakehner]

First off, good luck getting back in one piece.

Injuries can happen…I broke a lot of things doing x-country mostly (leg/ankle/foot/ribs/scapula/ribs/collarbone/ribs). I never had any of these “interesting times” really scare the willies out of me and ruin my nerve.

I was riding a nice 15.1 hand Tenn. Walker and we were doing a fast canter and then a big slip and he did a 360 with me on him. The next thing I knew, I was waking up next to him in the mud. A nice concussion (I kept asking, “What time is it?”) and when I got back to the barn I handed someone my horse, got in my car, drove home and went to bed…still covered in mud and wearing my boots and britches. Other than a goose-egg on my forehead and some really neat looking black eyes, no physical problems. BUT, I lost my nerve on him. I’d be riding and would catch myself thinking, “What would happen if I fell off now?” I really lost my faith in him, even though the accident was uneventful. I finally had to sell him since I just didn’t have faith in him. He was the only horse I ever owned who I couldn’t get over the “Yips” and the fear. I hated to let the fear win, but my horse deserved a rider who could be his partner. I couldn’t.

There’s nothing wrong with deciding your mare just isn’t right for you right now.

You can’t guarantee a wonderful home for your mare…you can only hope she’ll have a good life and maximize her chances. Then, don’t look her up, keep the “fable” in your imagination of her having a lovely life. It’s not cruel or selfish. If she is going to be permanently lame, it isn’t cruel to euthanize her to prevent the situations you horrify yourself with about what her life could be.

I don’t envy your position, hope you get healthy and not dinged and dented for too much longer. Sometimes, you just have to say good-bye.

[wateryglen]

Right place/right time!

Yes you are definitely in the right place and we’ve had many threads on fear after injury so do a search and be inspired! What you’re feeling is totally, perfectly normal and appropriate. Allow yourself anxiety and fear. Take your time; there’s no schedule or “normal” amount of time to do this. Fear is a self protective brain feature we need to embrace and deal with. It’s not bad; it’s normal & good. It keeps us from returning to something that might hurts us too soon. Break it down into small, manageable steps. Whenever you get scared; ease off. But keep exposing yourself until the fear lessens and your confidence increases. It will happen; YOU have control.

She’s young and I’d not assume the worst for either of you! I gotta think she’ll heal just like you will. Not like new but heal. Given the seriousness of YOUR injury; I don’t doubt your glum outlook but don’t let it overwhelm you. It may not be accurate! Stay tuned! Chin up. The glass if half full!!! :yes:

[KTRider]

Thank you all for the kind words. I’ve been working through my fears, but I had done some reading here and have taken down some book names to go find for that extra help. I still visit my girl every day, groom her, bathe her, hand walk her, whatever I can. She didn’t hurt me on purpose, but I do think she’s got a smidge of bully in her right now and is taking a bit of advantage of me. For example, she pretty much refuses to hand walk; I don’t know if she hurts or if she knows I can’t fight her much and I’ll give up and let her graze.

I’ve got a great trainer and I’m at a great barn. I’m going to ask my trainer to walk her and see if she pulls the same tricks. Then I know how to tackle it going forward.

I’m trying to be optimistic I swear; I hope to free lease her out as a broodmare, but I’m not up on the good QH bloodlines, so I’m not sure how desirable she is. She is high-color and flashy, at least. My trainer took her reg paperwork to a show to have a couple folks in the QH world check out her lines. I figure 15-18 months of just life as a horse might help with some healing and some growing up.

I have wondered if she ends up permanently lame, if euthanasia is a terrible thing to consider. I know it’s early to think about that, but I can’t keep it from entering my mind completely. I wish she were older and calmer; she’s sound at the walk, so would totally work in a therapy horse program. But I can’t deny she can be a real red-head sometimes.

Anyway, I do appreciate the advice from everyone. It’s nice to talk to others in the horse world and know that fear is understandable and not just irrational.