Rich Fellers

[Gardenhorse]

@BellaFortuna

Does anyone know the difference between ineligible when there is no end date vs banned?

It essentially means that they’re waiting for the outcome of the criminal charges.

From the SafeSport Code:

Ineligibility
“Ineligibility to participate until further notice, in any capacity, in any program, activity, Event, or competition sponsored by, organized by, or under the auspices of the USOPC, any NGB, or any LAO, or at a facility under the jurisdiction of the same. Ineligibility is typically imposed when a Respondent has pending charges, in violation of the Criminal Charges or Disposition provision.”

[skydy]

I think he’s done and dusted. MHO only.

[LexInVA]

At least the Facebook commentary is encouraging, with only one old lady with loose ties to the Fellers supporting him. He definitely has no real support in the sport at this point, at least not in public and not from the unwashed masses who don’t Winter In Welly-World.

[ladyj79]

I think Shelley should receive a lifetime ban, as should anyone deemed to have retaliated against a reporting victim.

[LexInVA]

Depending on what comes out during the trial and what the investigation has revealed to the FBI and Safesport, that might happen anyway. I get the impression that there were multiple girls exploited by her Husband over the years and there could have easily been a lot of acceptance and compliance on her part, to keep her position in the sport and association with him. There may even be repercussions for Chris, too.

[Moneypitt]

Agreed. Not like dust in the wind. More like vacuum cleaner dust to the trash bin.

[SolarFlare]

Thanks to Maggie and her mom for speaking out in this video: https://eventingnation.com/thursday-video-she-knew-what-she-was-doing-weridetogether-psa/

[McGurk]

Wow, that was incredibly brave of Maggie and Carrie. And it was a great PSA.

[Bluey]

@McGurk

Wow, that was incredibly brave of Maggie and Carrie. And it was a great PSA.

She is giving an interview about her relationship right now, on CBS morning news!

[LexInVA]

Here is the interview…

“https://www.cbsnews.com/video/young-equestrian-says-she-was-cornered-into-a-sexual-relationship-with-much-older-trainer/”

[2bayboys]

Eventing Nation:

“Young athletes, particularly those in elite sports, are more frequently sexually abused by coaches when they are competing at a higher level.”

Is there any actual substantiation for this statement? I fear for the lower level riders in obscure barns who are targeted and don’t have the platform or means to speak out.

[Night_Flight]

I wonder if it’s a matter of the higher-level athletes being on the road constantly and away from their families, and therefore more isolated?

The training at the higher levels is also more likely to be one-on-one rather than in a group, which would be more common at the lower levels.

Perhaps those factors lead to more opportunities for abuse at the higher levels, though of course that doesn’t mean that it can’t happen at the lower levels as well.

[Scribbler]

Yes, I think proximity plus the fact the higher level athletes have so much more to lose if they leave the coach. Plus from what I hear, part of the grooming/ seduction is often “you are so special, not like all the other girls, we have a future together as trainers but don’t tell my wife” which might be targeted at competitive girls who are ahead of the rest. Plus those girls in any sport might be less likely to have healthy friend circles of peers and access to normal goofy high school boyfriends. They are in a hothouse environment with a trainer who can make all their dreams come true.

I would think that some maybe vulnerable girls at low end places could be susceptible too. I could see however that the average girl with friends and boyfriend outside of horses and no real one on one intimacy with the coach might slide past the grooming by the creepy old 35 year old dude.

Teenage girls have strong sexual urges even before they feel emotionally ready to act on them. Typically they get a lot of crushes and flirtations with peers that they can process in some way with their friends before they actually start dating someone. And then if it’s a peer, they are navigating the relationship with someone who is at about the same stage of maturity.

A teen girl in an elite sport who has been encouraged to leave behind the silly aimless world of high school social life and doofus boyfriends and “wasting time” is going to be a sitting duck for a predator coach who has a good line in romantic hogwash. And the predator coaches have clearly honed their lines.

[Salty]

I knew a trainer who only targeted talented riders. He used access to his best horses as bait, as well as telling them that they had a special gift.

[Horsegirl_s_Mom]

@Scribbler

Teenage girls have strong sexual urges even before they feel emotionally ready to act on them. Typically they get a lot of crushes and flirtations with peers that they can process in some way with their friends before they actually start dating someone.

And they can get crushes on men much older than themselves. This comment reminded me of my sister’s crush on her middle school biology teacher–she would go to his after-school homework help sessions, doodle his name in her notebooks, etc. Meanwhile my best friend and I spent our candy-striping shifts trying to talk to our favorite orderly, whom we had code-named “Mr. Perfect.” Luckily none of these hapless crush-targets were inclined to take advantage of naive young teens.

That’s why responsibility is always on the adult, rather than the teen, to avoid inappropriate situations.

[Scribbler]

Yes, very targeted for teenage girls.

Also you don’t get to be an elite athlete unless you are very coachable, and can follow instruction from adults and basically be a good kid and do what you are told to the best of your ability.

It’s such a betrayal of trust.

I was a fairly feral teen and avoided adults in general because the ones around me seemed stupid, or violent, or unpredictable, or even a bit violent. I wasn’t wrong in my instincts for that time and place. But it took me into my 30s to figure out the concept of mentors, in situations where adults had the power to help. By then adults were my peers, and I knew my way around the world. But I never did hook up with a mentor even when it would have been age appropriate. I was always more attracted to peers, and found men who were also attracted to peers.

But I can completely visualize how it could play out with a fast tracked teen or young adult woman and a predator that knew exactly how to manipulate the emotions and insecurities of that kind of girl. And also how to ultimately make her feel guilty and ashamed and like it was all her fault.

[Scribbler]

I would go so far as to say there is a potential sexualization in almost every teaching situation, and it is the duty of the teacher to redirect that subliminal feeling back into shared delight in the subject, and never let it rise to the surface.

Well, especially if you are a woman teacher, and you have adult students. Men students can turn into problems if the sexual feelings surface in their minds and seem inappropriate to them, they can get embarrassed or hostile or wierd, though they rarely act on the feelings in an obvious manner (like stalking etc).

Anyhow, there are a lot of ways of shutting down and redirecting this dynamic.

But predators know how to look for the vulnerable. I worked at a college once where a woman colleague was invited to resign before she was fired for sleeping with students (male and female). She definitely picked vulnerable people I didn’t find attractive. Ones that gave off warning signs of instability.

[erinmeri]

@Scribbler

Yes, I think proximity plus the fact the higher level athletes have so much more to lose if they leave the coach.

I think this is actually often part of the abuse… that the coach makes them feel that way. I worked with a trainer at one point during my junior years who was not sexually abusive, but who could be emotionally so. That person had me convinced that only they could coach me, that only they could get me to where I wanted as I moved up divisions. I was terribly scared to leave and had a perception that I would lose everything if I did. I was terrified of seeing them on the circuit, terrified that my friends in that barn would shun me, terrified that person was right. Eventually I left, and it was the best thing I could ever have done for my riding, and for my emotional health. Nothing they had said to me was true.

And yes to what @Night_Flight said earlier. I was never at the top, top of the sport, but was competitive enough to travel during the season - including out of state and out of the US - and almost never with my parent in tow. There is a lot of opportunity when on the road for inappropriate situations that likely would not happen at home to arise - even if they don’t rise to this level.

And kudos to Maggie and her mother for their strength and bravery in speaking out!!

[Bogie]

Very brave of Maggie and her mother to speak out.

I can remember that when I was a teen, I idolized the top riders at the barn where I rode. Everyone wanted to be noticed or praised by them. I can see how easily someone with that much power could take advantage.

[sixteenhands]

@LexInVA

There may even be repercussions for Chris, too.

What would the repercussions be for Chris?