My cures for a crabby mare: free choice hay, adequate turnout with a more dominant friend or a worshipful underling, and regumate. Nothing wrong with slow girthing or even feeding a small snack while girthing to help with the girthiness. Obviously treat any ulcers, and obviously check closely for back soreness or chest/girth area musculoskeletal soreness related to your type of girth or a too tight girth. Also be sure there isn’t a dental issue.
Also, I think that sifting through hay is a soothing pastime. And using hay nets can cause horses to eat at an awkward angle of their head/neck. If I have a cranky horse, I make sure to give the hay on the ground to sift through at their leisure. Also, feeding a snack before riding can help a grumpy horse be more cheerful and relaxed.