Riding and attending medical school and the many frustrations that go along with it.

[Michicant]

I don’t know whether I’m looking for advice or just needing to vent but here goes (sorry, it’s long):

I haven’t been able to really compete for at least 3 years now. I took a year off between undergrad and med school to work and gain some clinical experience. During this time I was actually able to ride fairly consistently and even went to a few lessons and an event (which ended up being rained out… of course) this past summer. I knew that I would barely have any time to ride while in med school so I pushed myself to get out there and compete again. Since starting school I’ve been able to go out to the barn to ride about once a week or every two weeks.

My horses are about an hour away at my mom’s, who so graciously cares for them while I’m stuck in my apartment studying. I have a constant guilt for not being able to help my mom as often as I should, and even more guilt for not exercising the horses and giving them the attention that they deserve. But do they really care that I’m not riding them? Probably not. I have a 26-year-old thoroughbred who I tell myself is in “retirement” so he barely gets ridden, a 12-year-old chestnut mare who may finally be to the point of being successful if I were to compete (but haven’t been able to), and then a 5-year-old sport pony who I absolutely adore and have started to the best of my ability thus far. She was the one that I took to an event this past summer (which turned into a dressage show) and I’ve schooled some XC with but really hasn’t had much more training since I’ve been in school. I feel most guilty for not putting in the time to give her solid training as I think she really could go far. I take her out on the trails and school some flatwork when I am able to ride but it wouldn’t be fair to ask more of her.

I should also mention that I did not intend to have this many horses, they were given to my mom and I from family friends that were unable to take care of them for one reason or another. The exception is the thoroughbred that my mom purchased off the track when he was 12. I’ve thought about selling them, but my mom has convinced me otherwise as they really are great for my mental health. I also have a 6 year-old sister who has been riding the 12 year old mare.

I’ve heard of people who are able to take lessons and compete while in med school but to be honest I don’t know how the hell they pay for that. I get enough loans to pay for rent, car payment, food, and a bit extra but certainly not enough to take lessons or compete or even pay for board. If my mom wasn’t here I wouldn’t even have horses. Period. I’m frustrated that I cannot compete anymore, but I recognize that right now it is simply impossible to do so with my financial and time constraints. Could I have chosen a career that was able to give me more time to ride? Sure. But with my love for horses I also have a love for medicine and a passion for improving the lives of people who don’t even have a house let alone a horse. I also want to have a career that can support a family when/if the time comes.

I hate to admit it but I get jealous when I see my friends who are able to continue eventing. I keep telling myself that the horses will always be there and in time I will be able to compete again but a part of me is concerned it won’t happen. Right now I guess I’m learning to just be thankful for horses. I’m enjoying trail rides with my little sister, galloping up a hill, even just cleaning stalls because it means I get to move around and take a break from studying.

I love eventing, but I also love medicine. I love spending time with my family. I love taking trips and exploring our beautiful world. Right now I don’t have time for eventing, but at least I am able to simply enjoy the presence of horses.

I’m sorry for the long post, I know my situation is unique but have any of you gone through something similar?

[Anne_FS]

Not personally, but family member: 4 years undergrad, 4 years vet school, 1 year internship, enormous vet school debt, and now off for a 3-year residency. Not fortunate to have your situation so having own horse & riding are long gone.

You are still able to keep your hand in. I know a number of doctors who once med school was over were able to get back into horse sports and are doing great, plus the ones who are people doctors (as opposed to horse doctors) can easily afford it. Keep your eyes on the prize! These next few years will fly by.

[Bluey]

Could you not lease at least one of the two younger ones to someone that will compete and so enjoy that one from afar and have one less to feel guilty about not doing much with?

Some trainer you trust, or one of their clients that could fit the horse would be a good solution.

Medicine is going to take a passion and every minute of your time.
Better buckle down to that, because that is what everyone else around you is doing and who you are competing with for success in your field.

Even if it will be years down the road before you can get back seriously to horses, they will be there for you then, maybe not these, but others will.

Medicine, that right now is the best shot you get at it.
If that is what you choose, you really need to give it your best 100%.
There are just so many hours in a day, are they, but that is the way life is.

[Michicant]

I did mention to one of my trainers that I would like to lease the youngest one and she said she’d keep her eye open for anyone. I also posted something on my local Pony Club’s JLC page but no luck. I haven’t pushed much farther because I’d rather her only get ridden once a week than have someone I don’t know take her. She’s also out in the pasture 24/7 with lots of hills so not like she isn’t getting any exercise.

I know right now I have to dedicate my time to school, I’ve known that since starting undergrad and I’m doing very well so far. Sometimes I just want a break, but I know that time will come… eventually :winkgrin:

[Guilherme]

Your Number One focus is your studies. If you want to feel guilty then feel guilty about worrying about riding more than studying!!!

So, focus. On the studies. Go ride when you can to relax from the studies, not introduce a new stress about competing. Churchill’s observation applies to med. students as much as anyone else!!!

Remember that after med. school you’ll have your internship and residency and maybe a fellowship (if you want to do that). It’s going to be a while before you can look at competing in just about any equestrian sport.

This might suck now but it will pay off over time. Good luck in both endeavors.

G.

[XC1]

I think I can understand how you’re feeling. I’m just finishing my undergrad and I love it, but it is hard to watch people who aren’t in school and have more time for horses and compare yourself to them. Someone I used to show against when we were 15 is now campaigning several horses at the upper levels, while I look forward to a few schooling shows every summer. I still haven’t regretted my decision to go to school (and I’m actually planning on doing a masters).

I think what has helped me is reminding myself that we won’t age out of this sport anytime soon. The events will always be there, and it’s not like you’ll forget how to ride! Even if it happens a bit later in life, your goals are totally attainable, and with a stable income you will be able to do the showing thing on your own terms in a few years time.

I think there’s an unhealthy emphasis placed on “dedication”, especially among eventers, when we are young. Eventers glorify missing school and normal social events for shows and clinics, and brag about not having a life outside of the barn, or being so overworked from trying to do it all. While that may be fun for a while, it’s really not sustainable for an entire career. If you compare yourself to those riders, you’re bound to be frustrated, but by investing in your other passion and a solid career path, you’re going to end up with a healthier, more balanced life in the long run.

Enjoy the horses you have now, but if you really feel they need to be doing more, look for a local part-boarder who can keep them in more regular work until you are ready. If it’s possible, try looking for a barn close to school that will let you work off some lessons in exchange for mucking - great for stress relief and will help keep your riding sharp.

Good luck!

[AppendixQHLover]

School and education always comes first. My horse has been hanging out eating grass for the past 6 months because we aren’t in the same state. He is in for a wake up call when I get back down there long term. He will sulk a lot.

[Marshfield]

I’d look at your time management/study skills. I worked 10 to 15 hours a week along with riding three times a week (with a 45 minute commute each way) while going to vet school. Other classmates found time to train for regular marathons.

[Michicant]

I’m really glad that you were able to accomplish all of those things. For me, it’s just not feasible to do all of that right now and keep my sanity. I was able to work 30+ hours, ride the same amount as you, go to school full time (all upper level science classes), lead a sustainable development organization, and volunteer. But it took a toll on my well-being and my performance. Time management and study skills are not the issue (I’m in the top 10% of my class). If I rode another 2 days a week that’s about 8 hours of studying that wouldn’t happen.

[Lion1024]

How about this for a simple answer: give yourself a break. You’ve got nothing to prove on the “how much can I fit into one day and still maintain my sanity” camp. I took 3 years off for law school. I found one summer where I could fit riding in, but that was it. Then I took off the first year of working until I found a place willing to teach a lesson late at night and a friend who was also a lawyer who was thrilled to have late night company riding her horses with her.

It’s ok. It will pay off. Your horses will be ok. Your mom is watching them.

There’s enough pressure on you right now. Don’t add more.

If you can fit in a leisurely ride on a break - do so. Don’t beat yourself up. Not worth it.

[Michicant]

I audibly sighed with relief. Thank you.

[arapaloosa_lady]

Life is not a competition.

I’d reflect back to Thursday on how grateful you are for the blessings in your life. And allow yourself to let go of all your 1st world stresses. Yes, your pony will be a little behind in training. Yes, your older horse may get a little chubby hanging out all winter. But that’s OK. You don’t need to do everything. Make sure the important things are covered - animal welfare, health, etc… and do what you can. Take a hot bath, don’t drive yourself insane.

[eastendjumper]

I’ve done the school full time/work full time/horse care juggling act. But it was not med school! You are already kicking ass and remind yourself med school is the longest and hardest educational endeavor, and if it didn’t take incredible sacrifice and demand someone to be extremely tough, everyone would have doctorate degrees. You are doing great.

Take horses off of your to do list, totally, and put them on the same list you would include your favorite past times with, your self rewards. The day after an exam, paper, difficult lab, whatever, schedule into the calendar a ride day as your gift to yourself for passing another milestone. It’s cheesy, but you might also stick $5 or $10 into an event account at those same times. You might feel like you are still working towards your riding goals that way, and that first event you compete in when is is all said and done will be all the sweeter, knowing how very hard you worked to get there.

Your horses are just fine, as others have said. All they care about is good hay and a buddy to hang out with.

[AKB]

Do you need to be in the top 10% of your class? Can you take off a few hours per month so you ride at least once a week? You may find that you study more efficiently if you know you can reward yourself with riding time.

Try to part lease the 5 year old. If someone else rides him 1 day per week and you ride 1 or 2 times per week, he should be fine.

My daughter rode daily when she was in vet school. She didn’t have time to party. She was in the bottom half of her class. However, she was happier and more relaxed than any of her friends.

[Cabaret_SK]

I feel your pain - just starting law school, and I sorely miss riding.

I lost my boy this summer, so was taking out of riding pretty suddenly. I’ve taken some lessons here at school, but haven’t found the barn that’s the right fit for me.

I’m (obviously) not taking science classes, but pretty busy keeping up with readings, editing one of the law journals, and doing clinical work. It is important for me to be in the top portion of my class, as I want a shot in the summer job race.

It’s a process - there’s no other way to put it. It was a big adjustment to go from my goals this summer of moving up to the 3’3" hunters to barely riding or jumping on school horses. I’ve been trying to tell myself that this is temporary, and what I have to focus on now. The logical part of my brain gets that, but the horse part isn’t so sure.

Good luck!

[fourfillies]

As a now solidly mid-career physician who remains passionate about her profession and patients I say take the time to ride. Not every day but a few times a week. The sanity check will make it easier to study now and be a focused professional later. Learning to put aside being in the top 10% occasionally for other things of meaning is a life lesson that will serve you well. I wish I’d learned a bit earlier in life. Congratulations on your accomplishments to date and good luck!

[Michicant]

AKB, you’re totally right, I don’t need to be in the top 10%. I really didn’t intend to be that “gunner” I just gave it everything I had and ended up there. Med school is such a huge financial commitment that I would have a hard time not devoting as much of my time as possible to it. I am able to ride once a week though unless it’s right before an exam, in which case I make a beeline straight for the barn the minute the exam is over

Kudos to you all who are on a difficult academic path and continue to ride often, I’m truly impressed. Cabaret SK, I’m so sorry you lost your boy, that’s so difficult to go through. If you happen to be in Michigan I have a few horses you can ride

Thank you all for your kind words. Really.

[Michicant]

Fourfillies, I’ll try to heed your advice and pry myself away when I can may I ask what kind of physician you are? Are you able to find a good work/life/horse balance? I’m thinking of going into family medicine right now…

[Cabaret_SK]

[QUOTE=Michicant;8422750]
Kudos to you all who are on a difficult academic path and continue to ride often, I’m truly impressed. Cabaret SK, I’m so sorry you lost your boy, that’s so difficult to go through. If you happen to be in Michigan I have a few horses you can ride

Thank you all for your kind words. Really.[/QUOTE]

Aww, that’s kind of you. My school actually competes in Michigan for IHSA, but I’m not on the IHSA team.

[tikkamasala]

[QUOTE=Marshfield;8422400]
I’d look at your time management/study skills. I worked 10 to 15 hours a week along with riding three times a week (with a 45 minute commute each way) while going to vet school. Other classmates found time to train for regular marathons.[/QUOTE]

Marshfield: Out of curiosity, when did you attend school?

OP I understand your situation, very similar over here. I figure when I am done paying off this debt I will be too old to go gung ho but I will be able to do low level stuff and have fun. I ride 1-2x a week and thats the best I can do. And a few lessons a semester. Don’t be too hard on yourself… you have to prioritize and education comes first, especially when you are already this far in.

TM