Riding/competing after head injuries

[seemyalter]

I created an alter for this post, since a few IRL friends and clients know my handle on here, and I’d prefer to keep this private for now. Looking for some thoughts and input from other like-minded horse people.

I am a young-ish professional (mid/late twenties) in the sport of eventing. I work for a prominent rider and have recently stepped up to “real” UL competition and put my focus on the training and riding primarily, after spending several years competing at the mid-levels and teaching ammies with some LL training mixed in. I finally feel like I am on the track I want to be with my career, and have significant riding and training goals. I’m not a kid dreaming about being a pro; I have spent the better part of a decade in “the life” and understand what it entails. Yes, I know I am relatively young (especially compared to the wealth of knowledgeable and experienced people here) but my point being, I believe I am pretty realistic in my goals, and not just a daydreamy kid.

I recently sustained a brain injury in a fall while schooling. While it wasn’t a particularly bad fall, the impact was pretty significant. I have a bit of history with head injuries and it would appear the cumulative nature of the injuries contributed to the severity of effects this time around. I am currently under the care of a very good team of doctors. I was recently advised by two of them that I should seriously consider a career change and possibly stopping riding altogether, due to the risk of catastrophic injury should I have another head injury.

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit. Riding and the horses are my passion, and I can’t imagine what kind of life it would be without those things. I guess what I am looking for are the thoughts of some other people- maybe others who have been through similar things- and a little perspective. One part of me says, not to be stupid- horse sports aren’t worth my life. Another part says- what kind of life is it, if I can’t do what I love the most? I have dealt with very serious illness in the past, so it’s not the first time these kinds of questions have been raised.

I apologize if this post is disorganized. I would love to hear of any experiences people have with this kind of thing- decisions to stop riding for medical reasons, deciding to keep riding, input on recovery from head injuries, anything really- particularly from those of you who are professionals, but the amateurs as well. I know there are ways to manage risk within horse sports, but we all know horses are horses and there is only so much you can do, and safety is never a guarantee. Where do you draw the line between living the life you want to live, and being foolhardy?

[SuzieQNutter]

They can save your arm, they can save your leg. They can NOT save your brain.

Your brain is needed for everything from walking and talking to sitting and looking.

My big question, as I have worked in the horse industry for a lot of my life, is why you are coming off and having head injuries? There must be a reason. If you are that accident prone and think there is no reason and there is only bad luck you are in the wrong industry doing the wrong thing and will continue to have bad luck.

I have evented. I have been a trail ride guide. I have worked in agistment and in dressage.

Touch wood I never fell off at work. I had a pony somersault and land on my leg on a prickle bush. That was not jumping or anything and I was still on him on the ground. So I don’t count that as a fall!!! Yes we both fell but I didn’t come off!

So something is happening. Either the horses are not being worked correctly and don’t have the correct muscle and ability to carry you for what you are doing. The horses are not worked down correctly to be sane when you are riding them. Whatever is the problem it is going to take a lot of going back to basics to fix it and I would not be risking my brain, but that is me.

Happiness comes from within. It does not come externally. You should be happy no matter what you are doing. Another problem I see, is that you do not believe you will be happy doing anything else. That is only a self belief and self beliefs can be changed.

That said I was told by Doctors that I would never ride again. I was given a 45 minute lecture at 24 yo that I should be at home having babies. This was because of my arm, not my brain.

Fast forward 2 decades. No children and I am riding at least 4 horses a week. But there were bouts of not riding in there as well.

[sumastrogirl]

Oof, this is hard. If I were in your shoes, especially with such a bright future, I couldn’t imagine quitting or changing. But I am not the best person for this topic as I haven’t been through this. May I ask what the doctors said the consequences of going back could be?

[sumastrogirl]

Since we don’t know the details about the fall, I don’t think we should assume it was due to athletic ability or lack of training on either the horses or riders part. The most broke, athletic, correctly trained horse paired with the best most athletic rider could have had the same thing happen to them. I don’t see it as a ‘sign’ that you should not be in that position. I also disagree with the sentiment that you can be happy in any situation if you just will yourself to, that’s not quite how it works

[seemyalter]

@SuzieQNutter

They can save your arm, they can save your leg. They can NOT save your brain.

Your brain is needed for everything from walking and talking to sitting and looking.

My big question, as I have worked in the horse industry for a lot of my life, is why you are coming off and having head injuries? There must be a reason. If you are that accident prone and think there is no reason and there is only bad luck you are in the wrong industry doing the wrong thing and will continue to have bad luck.

I have evented. I have been a trail ride guide. I have worked in agistment and in dressage.

Touch wood I never fell off at work. I had a pony somersault and land on my leg on a prickle bush. That was not jumping or anything and I was still on him on the ground. So I don’t count that as a fall!!! Yes we both fell but I didn’t come off!

So something is happening. Either the horses are not being worked correctly and don’t have the correct muscle and ability to carry you for what you are doing. The horses are not worked down correctly to be sane when you are riding them. Whatever is the problem it is going to take a lot of going back to basics to fix it and I would not be risking my brain, but that is me.

Happiness comes from within. It does not come externally. You should be happy no matter what you are doing. Another problem I see, is that you do not believe you will be happy doing anything else. That is only a self belief and self beliefs can be changed.

That said I was told by Doctors that I would never ride again. I was given a 45 minute lecture at 24 yo that I should be at home having babies. This was because of my arm, not my brain.

Fast forward 2 decades. No children and I am riding at least 4 horses a week. But there were bouts of not riding in there as well.

I wouldn’t say I am that accident prone, but perhaps I do have bad luck. The previous issues are not due to riding falls- I did not make that clear in my first post. This most recent injury did occur as a result of a fall, relatively minor as falls go, but there you are.

I am very impressed that you have not fallen off during a lifetime of working in the horse industry! I consider myself to be a competent rider, but I do fall from time to time. I typically ride 6-10 horses a day, everything from green-broke babes to very fit UL eventers, and I am not so naive as to think I won’t occasionally fall. I believe as riders we can do our best to manage risk, but not eliminate it entirely- but I am certainly interested in any tips!

I appreciate your comments about happiness and will consider them. I did take about a year’s break from riding and the horses and seriously struggled to find “something” that I loved- it was a particularly difficult time. I don’t like the thought of going through that again.

[high_hat]

Better to move along now before you have a worse incident than to have that decision made for you. There is and will always be more to life than horses. It only feels hard to do as you can still make the choice.

[seemyalter]

@sumastrogirl

Oof, this is hard. If I were in your shoes, especially with such a bright future, I couldn’t imagine quitting or changing. But I am not the best person for this topic as I haven’t been through this. May I ask what the doctors said the consequences of going back could be?

I appreciate your input. Their concerns weren’t so much about riding, but rather about the potential consequences should I have another TBI- permanent neurological/mental deficits or death, to put it bluntly. It sounds so dramatic put like that, and I realize any of us could have a fatal accident any day, whether around the horses or not… but this recent incident has certainly opened my eyes as to how easy it can be to sustain a head injury, even in relatively benign circumstances.

[sumastrogirl]

@high hat

Better to move along now before you have a worse incident than to have that decision made for you. There is and will always be more to life than horses. It only feels hard to do as you can still make the choice.

I don’t quite think that you need to go that extreme yet, if you stick with your current routine, I still think you could incorporate horses.
But your safety comes first and I am not a doctor

[luvmyhackney]

If a Dr. told me I had to quit riding due to a brain injury I do believe I would halfway listen and try to ride a different kind of horse and find a different line of work. I’ve been lucky to only have one major fall, I decided then my health is more important and started riding the quieter, not hell bent on killing me horses. Dr. probably doesn’t mean you should quit riding completely but instead find a way to have a horse that decreases the chance of having a bad fall and injuring yourself again. Your brain can’t be replaced.

[Where_sMyWhite]

IMO, I would seriously considering walking away from riding. It sounds like the risk to your personal health with another TBI is fairly high. Yes, you can get TBIs walking into work and slipping on ice.

I would try to stack the odds in your favor of minimizing the possibility of having another TBI.

If you were, shall we say, more mature (i.e., older) my suggestion might be different. You are still at the relative beginning of your adult life. Ultimately the choice will be yours. Yes, I think we all understand the passion for riding and sharing our life with horses. How much do you want to risk to your life going forward?

[SuzieQNutter]

LOL I didn’t say I hadnt fallen off. I lost my job with horses because of a fall in the past that I had that messed with my arm although no injury you could see.

Yes happiness comes from within. A worst case scenario - if you are in the shoes of the person arrested in Bali for trafficking drugs. Her happiness did not come from within so she went into depression, tried changing religeons, etc.

For you I would be getting a helmet I like. Wear it if you ever go off the ground. Even on a footstool or ladder.

I would also find out that if time would make a difference and your brain can recover a bit to allow you to ride again.

[walkinthewalk]

Welllll, I had one doozie of an accident that left me unconscious, long enough for the EMT’s to get there.

The doctors who looked at my CT’s and MRI all indicated they had seen people cash in with a lot less of a head injury.

It left me with vertigo to the point I could not look at the second level of clothes in the closet without blacking out. Thanks to a “several cuts above the rest” chiropractor the vertigo has improved 85% but I will never be 100%

that was in 2006. Were I a professional rider, such as you, I would have had to give up riding because the vertigo was unpredictable for a long time. As it is, I WAS a trail rider and did end up not trail riding anymore because other, physical injuries, accompanied the head injury.

i still have my horses, I still care for them but it was a slippery slope for quite awhile – had it not been for my husband doing all the barn work so I could rest, I would have been in a tough spot.

it sounds as if you cannot afford even a small head injury. Im not sure about totally giving up horses but me thinks it might be in your best interest to give up what you currently do. there are worse things than not being here ---- being here and not being able to do anything is one of them.

[JustABay]

Nearly a decade ago I was nearly killed in a workplace accident (working with horses). I wasn’t even riding at the time, but was on the ground, handling a horse.

The impacts of that accident have definitely required some changes to my daily routines. As I sustained a brain injury, I am now substantially more forgetful, my memory and concentration are shot, I have undergone personality changes (not for the better) and I still have nightmares about it. I struggle with vision problems, chronic headaches and insomnia.

I would encourage you to please consider what your life would look like should you have another accident, and if you are willing to take that risk, and all that comes with it. My professional career with horses is over, and I had to not only pay medical bills, but go back to school to try and get an education so that I could get a decent job. Unfortunately, horse related skills do not translate well to ‘regular’ jobs and my choices were retail, fast food or any other minimum wage job.

The horses will always be there in some capacity for you, if you choose to take another path. Best of luck, OP, and wishing you a speedy recovery.

[Laurierace]

If I had a nickel for every time a doctor told me never to ride again I would have a lot of nickels. That seems to be their go to regardless of what the problem is. That said, you are nothing without a brain. Take some time to heal completely then make the best decision for you and your family. You may want to get another opinion to make sure you fully understand the risks and potential consequences. So sorry you have such a tough decision to make just when things were starting to get going.

[Friend_of_Otis]

I have a TBI from a bad car accident. I lost a lot. I have no memory. When I take a shower, and my hair is wet I can’ t remember if I shampooed it or not. I can’t recognize people - most of the time they all look the same to me. I sometimes suddenly don’t know where I am. I lose my balance, and I fall over in the dark, if I close my eyes, or if I look up. Sometimes I don’t understand when people talk to me. Today I can put together a sentence, but at times I can’t. I was in rehab for my brain injury for a year and this is as good as it gets. Every day of my life I am reminded of how bad my brain functions and yet I am also reminded how lucky I am to be able to do the things I can do.

I rode twice after my injury. It felt so good! But… I had areally hard time learning to function and struggled with the “new” brain injured me. I realized the next hit my head takes could be it for me. Not as in kill me, but taking away enough of what’s left that I could never be independent again . I lost so much, and I know what I used to be like, and what I’m like now, and I won’t risk losing more. A helmet will not save you from a TBI. It will just keep your head from splitting.

THe decision to stop riding was hard and it came over a period of months. I have never regretted it. I will always have horses , but I just won’t be riding them.

[Gloria]

I’m not at your level, nor did I have brain injury like you described, so I can’t offer any personal experiences. However, Please google aftermaths of many football player injuries. They injure their brains a lot. To me, it isn’t death that is terrifying. It is what if you DON’T DIE? They struggle with basic daily functions. They have trouble doing basic math. They lose basic reasoning functions. They lose memory. I often suspect that the countless brain injuries suffered by horse professionals contribute to the reasons why so many of them lack basic common sense. To me, that is worse than death.

You are too young to have a brain of a dementia patient. I think it is time for you to re-evaluate your career goal. You don’t have to get out of horses, or even horse professionals. You simply need to map a different path.

Good luck.

[spaceagevalkyrie]

@Gloria

I’m not at your level, nor did I have brain injury like you described, so I can’t offer any personal experiences. However, Please google aftermaths of many football player injuries. They injure their brains a lot. To me, it isn’t death that is terrifying. It is what if you DON’T DIE? They struggle with basic daily functions. They have trouble doing basic math. They lose basic reasoning functions. They lose memory. I often suspect that the countless brain injuries suffered by horse professionals contribute to the reasons why so many of them lack basic common sense. To me, that is worse than death.

You know, this really just hit home with regards to someone I know, it explains so much actually :eek:

OP, only you know whats best for you, but as has been stated, no brain, no you. Would you be happy sticking to something horsey, but on the ground? Its easier to adapt to than you might think. Well, it was for me, but I’m not nearly as good as you nor was it a head injury for me. Best wishes in whatever you choose to do

[Sandy_M]

FWIW, when I was still eventing, there was a teenager who was quite talented working with my trainer. She’d had a couple of falls with concussions riding “difficult” horses, but finally got a very talented racebred Appaloosa that she was eventing at Preliminary Level, back when there were still “full format” events. He left out a stride on steeplechase and somersaulted. She had a bad concussion. The doctors finally said, “No more jumping.” They didn’t say no more riding. We all know you can come off a horse at any time, in any discipline, but she turned to dressage to lower the risk. She is now a professional (and has been for many years), competes at a high level, and has students and her own children competing at the Young Riders level. There are other equestrian disciplines, and much as you may love eventing, perhaps it’s time for a change. Your decision.

[Write_amp_Ride]

This might just be the mom in me, but I encourage you to listen to the doctor. You are young and have so much more time to add to your passions in life. And those can change. When I was in my 20s I loved baseball (not playing) and collected memorabilia, memorized player stats, decorated my house in vintage baseball stuff… and then in my 30s it was running. I ran marathons, did triathlons, I couldn’t imagine my life without running. In my 40s it was back to my childhood passion, horses. I rarely run and I don’t even watch baseball on TV.
My point is, there are so many things to get involved with, to pursue, to enjoy. Maybe you haven’t found that new thing yet, but you will. When my horse got injured last summer and I suddenly couldn’t ride 4 days a week I kinda freaked out; I would start to cry when I got to the barn because I missed my lessons. After a few months it just wasn’t that big of a deal; my psyche adjusted.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

[stb]

If I were in your shoes I would quit riding. I would hate it, but would choose that over the possibility of brain damage that would ruin the rest of my life. Also, a catastrophic TBI would impact not just me, but my family as well. I would hate to burden them with taking care of me, especially as a result of something that could have possibly been prevented. I love riding, but it’s not worth risking my life, or risking the possibility of losing my brain function.

A second opinion would be a good idea. If the second doc gives you the same scenario you need to think long and hard about your options.