Well, you pretty much summed up what I was going to say.
As other people have pointed out a lot of people get in the horse business because they love dealing with horses, people not so much. They haven’t figured out it is the people that write the checks. And also get into the horse business because they are not interested in learning how to run a business and all the knowledge that entails.
So unless she has enough self awareness to realize maybe some of her difficulties are due to her lack of knowledge in this area - no amount of mentoring is going to do any good. And if everybody in her immediate past is an idiot then she probably hasn’t considered that maybe she might be the problem. I think trying to teach her better ways to run her business may be resented or at a minimum fall on deaf ears. Life is too short! People will only change if they want to and it sounds like she doesn’t want to since her problems are other people’s shortcomings.
sounds like you are describing my instructor. Everything is exactly the same except the 5 moves were over a longer period (although about to make move #6!), and my instructor is middle aged. But all the same, everyone else is an a-hole, is crazy. Each place she goes there is some kind of issue or dispute between her and everyone else. At the end of the day she is amazng with horses, not so much with people.
Hey, I know one of those …
… actually I know two of those …
At this point know of them, rather than know them, as connections cut long ago.
They are their own biggest obstacles. Both been around for over 15 years, still hang on in the business, amazing potential, and they torpedo themselves every time. Could be among the industries few high earners, but instead they constantly bounce between financial feast and famine. Nothing lasting to show from the few feasts; frequently out of money. Every opportunity squandered, every mentor/backer alienated.
Frequently in need a fresh start in a new location because people give up on them and their reputation where they are is trashed.
It’s a mystery to me how they survive endless cycles of this drama for years and years, but somehow they do. The most visible red flag in common to these two and to others I’m aware of is one relocation after another, usually leaving on bad terms and spouting drama.
I know one of them too. I think in less than two years she burned through at least 4 barns, usually by getting kicked out.
Sometimes it really is hard to find a suitable facility to work out of when you rent and dont own amd nobody takes you seriously until youre like 32.
I am sure this is true. But while trying to find that suitable facility you (general) should not have any reason to constantly bad mouth the places you have been.
When they come into your place bad mouthing the places before. You know it will not be long before they are bad mouthing you.
I didnt say anything about bad mouthing or whether that was right or wrong.
I merely said sometimes it is hard to be young and find the right fit to work out of.
Different statements.
No I said that from Trubandloki.
It is true from agistors coming in, a farrier who bad mouths other farriers or in this case an instructor who keeps moving places.
I think a few moves shouldn’t necessarily be a big red flag, but five in under two years is a lot. There are a lot of reasons people may outgrow barns- her program is growing too rapidly, the school horses aren’t suitable, the horse care is lacking, the facilities are too busy or the footing is bad, etc. She also could just be bad with people. Without knowing the details, it sounds like she may be young and moving around impulsively without considering whether any given farm is truly appropriate for her needs. Unfortunately, she’s the only one who can fix that.
I will say that finding a good fit in her situation can be difficult. I’ve done it, and dealt with tons of issues- scheduling issues to accommodate the farm hosting shows and clinics (students get annoyed by schedule changes, and they don’t care whose fault it is), disagreeing about the standard of care/soundness of the school horses (I won’t teach on horses that limp), pressure to take on new students despite no time on the schedule and not enough horses to share the load (no, Dobbin can’t do three lessons in one day), disagreement about cancellation policies, moderating squabbles between boarders and lesson clients, and it goes on and on. It’s not for the faint of heart, and it also means you need to do a lot of research when signing on to a new barn to make sure everything lines up. Even when you do, things don’t always work out. I’ve had many offers that I turned down because I saw future issues down the road- but I am a classic overthinker and don’t jump into situations like some others do.
OP, for your daughter’s sake, I would find a different trainer. Maybe down the road this one will find a place to settle, and you can reconnect, but I would look out for your daughter’s comfort and stability above all else right now.
Thanks everyone for your input! I really appreciate the honest words. I hope she’ll get things figured out, but if not, I’m not going to go down with her.
There is a coach in my area who moves barns regularly. She is an older, established coach, whose clients win a lot. I have no idea what she tells her clients regarding her moving, but from the barns it is because of unpaid bills (to them, the farriers, the vets) and abuse of the horses in her care. I have NO idea how she keeps finding barns to go to, other than perhaps because she wins.
Moving barns regularly would be a major red flag to me.
Maturity does not come with age. Hell, I know 8 yr olds that are more mature than some 40 yr olds. Also after some more thought on this I think she thinks that be being rude to people or trash talking them makes her seem superior. It doesn’t - it just shows everyone how rude you are. I had to work with a pack of idiots like that and they wondered why no-one ever wanted to help them. My own mother is that way and feels that everyone everywhere she meets is an asshole - really? and that wouldn’t be due to the rotten rude sneery way you treat them? "course not,eye roll. One day this young woman will find she has no clients and has burned all her barns. Run, OP. Run.
This is so true. Age = Maturity in some people, but not in all. And yep, there are some youngsters not yet old enough for a driver’s license who are wiser and more well-spoken than many adults.
Nah. She’ll relocate to another part of the country where people don’t know her background so well.
I know of people like this. Because the horsey gossip network tends to be very local, and because this is a very large country, they can find somewhere else that is impressed by their ribbons and show record and hasn’t heard the barn gossip.
When you see a horse professional moving 1,000+ miles at a time (give or take) on an almost regular cycle, I’d think twice - just based on my own life experience. And of course especially when they are poor-mouthing their last connections back where they just came from, even if they don’t mention them by name.
I think we need more details. Are the horses the instructors and she’s moving them around or is the instructor using school horses that belong to the facility?
mst, the issue appears to be resolved, per the OP.