Riding instructors, how do you bounce back after a rider’s fall?

[dogsbody1]

I used to volunteer at a therapeutic riding center, and stopped because of this particular incident. I was leading a horse that spooked and dumped its rider. That was bad, but what was worse was feeling personally responsible for it, because I had expressed some concerns about the horse’s behavior before the ride, and after the fact, the program director was basically like, “You were nervous the horse was going to spook, and the horse sensed your nervous energy and spooked.”

I feel terrible about it. I do think she had a point, because if I hadn’t noticed anything and just trusted the horse to be bombproof, maybe nothing would have happened. But on the other hand, the horse did have some behavior quirks that I think I had a legitimate reason to be uncomfortable with—at least in that particular situation (the horse could be barn sour and would drag kids back to the barn; in this situation, the group wanted to do a trail loop on the way back to the barn, and my sense is the horse spooked/tried to bolt back toward the barn at the first opportunity).

Anyway, I felt so bad about the situation that I never volunteered again. They’ve reached back out because they need people with horse experience, but I’m anxious about putting myself back in a situation like that where I feel responsible for a horse’s behavior. I guess—lesson learned—I would feel more empowered to speak up before doing anything I wasn’t 100% confident the horse could do. But the whole cycle of I’m-anxious-therefore-the-horse-is-anxious is holding me back.

[albytb]

@dogsbody1

“You were nervous the horse was going to spook, and the horse sensed your nervous energy and spooked.”

If someone said this to me I would consider it a red flag. You were correct to express concern about the horse. I never worked at a therapeutic center but when I worked summer camps with leadline, we always kept a close eye on how the horses were handling things and pulled them if we had concerns.

[Bristol_Bay]

@dogsbody1

That was bad, but what was worse was feeling personally responsible for it, because I had expressed some concerns about the horse’s behavior before the ride, and after the fact, the program director was basically like, “You were nervous the horse was going to spook, and the horse sensed your nervous energy and spooked.”

That’s nonsense.

The reason you might not want to volunteer there again is because your horse sense was right on and they discounted your intuition.

If you want to go back, can you make it a condition that they listen to you? I mean, if they want experienced horse people they should trust your judgement.

[luvmyhackney]

@dogsbody1

the program director was basically like, “You were nervous the horse was going to spook, and the horse sensed your nervous energy and spooked.”

That’s absolute horse shit. You were nervous cause you have enough horse sense and spiny senses to predict based on behavior and experience.

I’d call them out on it. Then volunteer somewhere else or next time hold your ground.

[trubandloki]

@dogsbody1

I used to volunteer at a therapeutic riding center, and stopped because of this particular incident. I was leading a horse that spooked and dumped its rider. That was bad, but what was worse was feeling personally responsible for it, because I had expressed some concerns about the horse’s behavior before the ride, and after the fact, the program director was basically like, “You were nervous the horse was going to spook, and the horse sensed your nervous energy and spooked.”

I feel terrible about it. I do think she had a point, because if I hadn’t noticed anything and just trusted the horse to be bombproof, maybe nothing would have happened. But on the other hand, the horse did have some behavior quirks that I think I had a legitimate reason to be uncomfortable with—at least in that particular situation (the horse could be barn sour and would drag kids back to the barn; in this situation, the group wanted to do a trail loop on the way back to the barn, and my sense is the horse spooked/tried to bolt back toward the barn at the first opportunity).

Anyway, I felt so bad about the situation that I never volunteered again. They’ve reached back out because they need people with horse experience, but I’m anxious about putting myself back in a situation like that where I feel responsible for a horse’s behavior. I guess—lesson learned—I would feel more empowered to speak up before doing anything I wasn’t 100% confident the horse could do. But the whole cycle of I’m-anxious-therefore-the-horse-is-anxious is holding me back.

Be proud of yourself for knowing the situation and the horse well enough to be able to tell something was going to go wrong.

You did not cause this problem at all.

The person in charge putting the horse, rider, and you in that situation is what caused it.

But let us pretend for a second the person who said it was all your fault for being nervous was correct, why were they using a horse in that situation that would react so poorly to a leader that might be nervous?

[f0rf31t]

@trubandloki

The person in charge putting the horse, rider, and you in that situation is what caused it.

As someone who has volunteered off-and-on for close to a decade (mostly off in recent years b/c of my schedule and them being about 40-45 minutes from where I live) at a therapeutic riding facility, in my experience they’re smarter than this about pairing horses with riders and what horses they’ll even use in the program in the first place.

Agree this is not OP’s fault at all.

[SpicyPRE]

@trubandloki

But let us pretend for a second the person who said it was all your fault for being nervous was correct, why were they using a horse in that situation that would react so poorly to a leader that might be nervous?

This 100% Any animal that is being used in a therapy program should be reliable around all kinds of things and situations. A sensitive, reactive horse is not in the right line of work as a therapy horse.

I am so sorry that the director said that to you. I am sure they want you back as you sound like a kind, conscientious person. I would not go back if that director is there as I would not be comfortable as to what kind of situation I could find myself in.

[Willesdon]

Too easy to pass responsibility onto a lowly volunteer rather than admit this horse was known to have some behavioural quirks and perhaps wasn’t suitable for the job.

If the centre has asked you to return, well, obviously they don’t think you were responsible in any way.

If you do return, make it clear that when you see a problem you are going to speak out. Health and safety is everyone’s concern.

[reefy]

@dogsbody1

“You were nervous the horse was going to spook, and the horse sensed your nervous energy and spooked.”

What an a**hat thing to say. Sounds like they were trying to potentially lay blame on you if something should come of it. Which is silly, they are horses and spook at the dumbest things no matter how bombproof. I say be glad you left!

[Bluey]

Why work with unreasonable people that unwarranted and unnecessarily already once blamed you for an accident, why go back for more abuse?

I would calmly let them know that you were not available to them, sorry.
No sense on repeating same and expect different results.

[Luseride]

I believe they blamed you because they wanted to avoid responsibility. Many times I have had a bad feeling and took note, nothing bad happened. A couple of times I ignored it and almost every time something happens.

I would say your instincts were correct and you were right to voice them.

[dmveventer]

Yeah this sounds like a situation where the horse either wasn’t suited for the rider or just is not a fit for the program at all. That’s not on OP. It’s hard to find good therapy horses so I’m sympathetic, but at least keep a horse like that in the arena.

@Bristol_Bay

If you want to go back, can you make it a condition that they listen to you? I mean, if they want experienced horse people they should trust your judgement.

I managed volunteers in a therapeutic riding program for many years and this definitely wouldn’t fly with any of the programs I was familiar with. There are so many people who oversell their horse experience, and in a program with that many people handling the horses regularly there’s often a good reason for doing things their specific way even if another way might also be correct. The instructors and staff are ultimately the ones responsible for how the program is run. Volunteers can and should voice their concerns in an appropriate way (like OP did) but once the decision has been made part of being a good volunteer is implementing the program’s guidance. Otherwise you end up with 50 different people doing things 50 different ways because they all swear they know best - it’s confusing for everyone and there’s too much risk of something going wrong. Often experienced horse people were some of the hardest volunteers to train because they were so used to doing things a certain way (and I sometimes struggled with it myself even as part of the staff).

I think if this is the only issue and OP wants to go back it’d be fair to say she doesn’t doesn’t feel comfortable handling that horse in lessons again, but if there are any other concerns with how the program is run it’s probably best to just cut ties. The odds of actually changing how they operate as a volunteer are pretty slim.

[Paint_Party]

I admire you for your dedication to the riders in this program. And you obviously have good horse sense that’s valuable in such a program. But if it were me, I would find another way to donate my time, efforts, expertise and compassion in the horse world.

This accident was not your fault. Either the program director was trying to avoid blame (and possible liability or loss of reputation) by shaming you, or they’re an idiot who truly knows next to nothing about horse behavior. I mean, seriously. Horses can be sensitive to our body language and energy levels, but if I could influence my mare that much I’d already be an AQHA reining champion.

[dogsbody1]

@Paint_Party

This accident was not your fault. Either the program director was trying to avoid blame (and possible liability or loss of reputation) by shaming you, or they’re an idiot who truly knows next to nothing about horse behavior. I mean, seriously. Horses can be sensitive to our body language and energy levels, but if I could influence my mare that much I’d already be an AQHA reining champion.

Thank you for saying that. It’s a tough call because I do suspect she had a point. I think generally this horse did okay for oblivious/novice handlers who let her drag them around, and I think an experienced handler could have proactively managed her in a way that avoided a big spook. But I’m caught in the middle—experienced enough to see a problem brewing, not experienced enough to shut it down.

It’s not a hard call not to go back to this particular program, because there were things about it that gave me pause even before this. But I’ve been offered other opportunities to work with kids and horses, which I would love in theory (because I like kids and appreciate the opportunity to stay involved with horses in a way that doesn’t cost money), but which I’ve passed on because I feel a little traumatized by this child’s fall. Even though they weren’t hurt (thank God), I have to say it knocked my confidence more than any fall I’ve had of my own.

[Bluey]

@dogsbody1

Thank you for saying that. It’s a tough call because I do suspect she had a point. I think generally this horse did okay for oblivious/novice handlers who let her drag them around, and I think an experienced handler could have proactively managed her in a way that avoided a big spook. But I’m caught in the middle—experienced enough to see a problem brewing, not experienced enough to shut it down.

It’s not a hard call not to go back to this particular program, because there were things about it that gave me pause even before this. But I’ve been offered other opportunities to work with kids and horses, which I would love in theory (because I like kids and appreciate the opportunity to stay involved with horses in a way that doesn’t cost money), but which I’ve passed on because I feel a little traumatized by this child’s fall. Even though they weren’t hurt (thank God), I have to say it knocked my confidence more than any fall I’ve had of my own.

Have you considered therapy? There may be more to this than just that one incident and therapy could help you sort thru this and help with your current insecurities.

[dmveventer]

Kids are going to fall, it’s an unavoidable part of horses. We had therapy clients fall even with saintly horses and experienced leaders and side-walkers. You can practice all the safety mitigations in the world but ultimately horses will be horses and kids will be kids. Put them together and you have quite a combination. I would vet your opportunities more carefully in the future but I hope you don’t let this deter you. Watching kids and beginners learn and grow in confidence and develop a love for horses is so rewarding despite the challenges.

@dogsbody1

I think generally this horse did okay for oblivious/novice handlers who let her drag them around

This is such a huge red flag for a therapy program. It’s one thing to have horses that need a stronger handler, we had some of those, but they were always limited to volunteers we knew could handle them or were staff-only as needed. Basic control is non-negotiable when you have vulnerable riders around. Most volunteers aren’t going to be world-class handlers and any horses that can’t be trusted not to drag someone off are not therapy prospects. Seriously, I really hope you don’t let their poor judgment bring you down, this sounds like it was always a no-win situation for you.

[C_L]

That director is a twit. Even if you were nervous handling the horse, a horse used for therapeutic riding doing his normal job shouldn’t be fussed. And if the horse is that sensitive, and they knew you had concerns about leading the horse, they should have made the call to have someone else lead the horse. You are a volunteer, you were transparent with your concerns. What happened is in no way your fault and the director’s response says all you need to know about them

[Mcl1]

I guided trail rides at a guest ranch and encountered similar situations. In one case, they insisted I take a guest out on a horse who I had expressed concerns with multiple times. About 30 min into the ride, he ducked and spun, the woman ended up falling off and getting her leg stepped on. It became very clear to me that I wasn’t willing to accept the responsibility of dealing with people and horses without having the ability to make the decisions I felt were best.

However - we all know that no matter what, things happen and people fall. I would recommend trying out new opportunities, but it’s ok to be selective or picky about where you choose to help, and it might be worth trying a few different places (if there are multiple volunteer opportunities) to find the best fit.

[Warmblood1]

@dogsbody1

Thank you for saying that. It’s a tough call because I do suspect she had a point. I think generally this horse did okay for oblivious/novice handlers who let her drag them around, and I think an experienced handler could have proactively managed her in a way that avoided a big spook.

No, you do not train or correct behaviors such as this while the horse is actively participating in therapy. Full stop. This horse should have never been allowed to carry a rider in therapy knowing the horse has training issues. This is also coming from a person who has trained these horses for these programs.

The best thing to do is to never return to this center. They are negligent. There are plenty of other places with the same type of work desperately needing good volunteers with horse sense.

[Ponyplusaninch]

Did we encounter the same therapy director? Once I was catching a therapy pony out in the pasture, and after following alllll the pony club steps of catching your pony, the pony ran and spun into me and then kicked me in the face. And the director had the audacity to say I provoked the pony. Which led me to question, “then why do you have a pony then that’s so easily provoked around kids and volunteers? Why not get the pony yourself?” It was wild. That pony had always been moody (pinned ears; grinding bit) but I was told “that’s just her giving face; she’s fine with the kids.” I should add the director herself had no experience with horses; she simply ran the program and coordinated therapists and volunteers. Another volunteer a month later got bit badly managing the same pony, and they gave her the same “stop provoking the pony” spiel, and at that point I decided to move on. It was a little head-scratchy to me to NOT have someone experienced enough with horses to recognize they might have a problem, and it wasn’t the volunteers.

I did find a better program that used the same therapists I’d been working with but was at a barn with a real barn manager who managed the horses in addition to a director who managed the program.

OP, I share this story to say sometimes people in leadership don’t want to take accountability and gaslight others. Put your guilt down; it’s not all yours to own.

Are there other centers nearby you could explore? As @dmveventer said, it’s rare any type of program takes volunteer input. But you can be smart in “interviewing” programs and ensuring the team and program is a good fit for you.