I appreciate your response and fairness on this topic. And I respect the way you have engaged and pushed me to consider how her situation may have played out in real life, and why you find it both plausible… and relatable.
For the record… I said it earlier, but will reiterate it… I actually totally sympathize with and relate to a situation in which Tamburro possibly reported bullying, no one could substantiate her allegation, and thus the school neither disciplined the boys, nor removed them from the classroom… and then Tamburro was left with no choice other than withdrawing from the class, or going back to it and having these boys. And she and her parents decided together withdrawing was the healthier option for her.
In real life… I’m predisposed to handle MOST conflict like that, frankly. For exactly these reasons. I’m an admitted keyboard warrior - I can own it.
And that actually is part of my skepticism… as such… in this situation… I don’t relate to how her narrative came together. I don’t understand why she didn’t actually state that this was the outcome of her eventual complaint regarding this situation. She did make statements throughout her narrative that indicated she has a significant interest in, and a significant focus on a NUMBER of social issues such as sexism, eliminating abuse for women and girls in sports, and presumably in an educational environment… and sexism in STEM fields is a current social issue many people are well aware of. I am well aware of it, for sure! Additionally, she focused intensely on the importance of female mentors in her life - especially a coach who had taught her to be strong and overcome things, and also another adult at the barn who had climbed the corporate ladder and coped with sexism.
For me, the combination of all of that stuff, plus the parts of her story that were left out or went unexplained, and then the way it all came together to make the argument in favor of…
RELAXING MAAP guidelines ?!?
It completely struck me as odd and didn’t work for me. MAAP guidelines, in my opinion, are mostly about maintaining clear, defined, healthy boundaries.
This is a VERY important issue for woman and girls. My guess is you agree. Especially for teenage girls who are going into a program of study in college or pursuing a career in a male dominated field where sexism and sexual harassment is an ongoing issue. Maintaining clear, healthy boundaries is an essential life skill.
I know this because frankly, I was terrible at it as a young woman during college and in my early career. For all the usual reasons. Many of which involve having been a victim of sexual abuse as a child.
We don’t know what we dont don’t know about Tamburros full story, and why this op Ed was published in the way it was, and what fact checking and editing went into it prior to publication. But my gut reaction was both that there were glaring holes in it, and that there were a number of references and nods to current issues of concern to women and girls and people who advocate for such things, and that it all came together in an odd way to try and persuade a pretty specific audience. An audience who were almost certainly going to be immediately against the idea of relaxing MAAP guidelines, but perhaps with an appealing op Ed like this one, could be lead around by the nose to the other side of the issue, and help provide enough pressure on USEF to get them to amend these guidelines.
I am coming perilously close to accusing the young author of something that will inevitably lead to unproductive dialogue… so I will stop at that.
All I can say is, whether her story is true, or exaggerated to any degree, minor or major, she CERTAINLY would have been better off if someone had worked with her before publishing it. And done an appropriate degree of fact checking and editing. And clarified matters with respect to her high school’s response… because this sort of thing has actually resulted in lawsuits. Clarity and fairness when writing about how an institution did or didn’t respond to an incident involving sexual assault or sexual harassment of female students is actually something that we now know a magazine needs to get correct! You know… because of the Rolling Stone lawsuits and the millions they paid out after the fact.
And it really sticks out to me that this editing and fact checking did not seem to happen in a meaningful way with this story. It also sticks out to me that there was a group of people who were 100% ready to launch into a, “How dare you question a 17 year old girls story! You are a hypocrite! You say you believe all survivors… but if someone has an opinion you don’t like, you attack them!” counterattack on anyone who regarded this strange op Ed with skepticism or criticism. This obviously has happened to me over the course of the last few pages, and it has happened to Yankee Duchess and others who have decided to criticize aspects of the op Ed.
I am admittedly a cynical person… but this whole thing is actually sort of obvious to me. I am 100% willing to agree to disagree with respectful voices who do not concur with me on my incredibly cynical opinion of this though 
And for the record, I do think Tamburro is a real person (haha), I do think she wrote this op Ed, and I do believe some parts of narrative happened in the way she outlines… because typically stuff like this does all revolve around some kernel of truth… but beyond that… I am pretty darn cynical at this point, and disappointed in COTH.
I am of the opinion that this is very possibly mostly about a young person actively showing on the A circuit who is closely affiliated with influential industry figures and coaches, and looks up to them, listens to what they are saying, and wants to curry favor with them, and thus wrote this op Ed. And that it is probably a very sincere effort to make a convincing empassioned persuasive argument for “their side.” Perhaps she knew that her voice as a 17 year old speaking out against MAAP guidelines, in favor of strong relationships with great coaches who are also mentors to young girls, would get some attention… and possibly get published. It seems she’s had one or two other things published via Plaid Horse. She was an “intern” for them previously. Which is sort of interesting, although I have no idea what it means to be an intern as a teenager - probably just a fun quick little opportunity. I also will note that the bio of the writer’s coach on her farm website actually indicates that the coach has a background in journalism… but now has what seems to be a successful professional program breeding and selling very nice hunters and coaching juniors. I also find that interesting. Just little details that I picked up on… and when combined with details in the op Ed… all of which came together in an odd tidy sort of way to me… well, at a certain point it very much feels as though this is about leading people such as myself around by the nose in some way. Anyway, I am of the opinion it is more about that, than it is about a young woman who has a well thought out, coherent argument and voice and important personal insight regarding an important and sensitive topic with VERY real implications for her, and girls who are just a few years younger than her.
And I am left wondering, why didn’t a really ethical, professional person at COTH gently explore this while doing a little bit of work with her on the front end in terms of fact checking and editing her writing prior to publishing this? It seems completely appropriate. Maybe I’m wrong… but in a situation like this, the editor could have actually helped this 17 year old learn an important lesson or two about using her voice effectively and responsibly. After all, they were publishing the 17 year olds voice nationally, and the whole op Ed is about a significant issue, and was going to reach a significant audience… and this is all about making sure we all really hear about the perspective of a young female rider and why she thinks the MAAP guidelines should be relaxed.
Hmmm.
Regardless, if the young writer was currying favor with one side of things by penning this op Ed, I can and do believe it was likely that she was doing that both unconsciously, and sincerely. It seems as though she’s a great rider, and loves her barn, her coach and her horse, and that’s a good thing. Good for her.
But what about the editors who seemed not to do a robust job on the front end of this op Ed prior to publishing it? Maybe it was just a matter of an unfortunate fact of life with respect to today’s media… this sort of thing definitely happens way too frequently and almost always bothers the heck out of me. Hence my intense and immediate focus on it in this case. But additionally, it is quite possible that there was a certain amount of awareness that this particular op Ed would be regarded favorably by a significant portion of the COTH audience… in particular, the hunter jumper community, and anyone who spoke up against it would be treated with the whole, “How dare you question a 17 year old’s story and attempt to silence her voice?!?” reaction.
It’s all just a little too convenient. But I am pretty cynical.
The whole thing is what it is, and I don’t think any of us quite know what it is entirely, and to what extent. But one thing is for sure… COTH should never have published it as written. Because the writer is a 17 year old young lady… and the whole crux of the issue (MAAP guidelines, Safe Sport, etc) is really about protecting young people from exploitation by following guidelines, known best practices, etc.
Ironic.
