See, even you understand what is being said despite being disgusted.
Who said they would do that?
Nice. So now women are just making myself feel better if they recognize that not all experiences are the same. Way to take away their power.
That’s crap, Denali.
All this talk of letting women decide for themselves what is traumatic to them and when someone says they made those determinations themselves, you wave it off. You don’t get to take away their power.
Thanks. I think perhaps it’s was a semantics thing.
I also don’t think differing opinions close down debate. But when someone uses words like "disgusts me,’ “beyond tragic,” “you’re part of the problem,” and the like, THAT closes people down. Who wants to stand up to language like that. It’s easier to walk away.
Considering I was talking to another poster I’m not sure what your problem is and think I was not remotely talking to you.
Because you so clearly missed my point, IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE SAID that getting groped is different then rape. Honestly. My point you miss is would you say that to Wagner face to face? Or another assault victim?
…But when someone uses words like "disgusts me,’ “beyond tragic,” “you’re part of the problem,” and the like,THAT closes people down. Who wants to stand up to language like that. It’s easier to walk away.
Just like being told your assault wasn’t that bad, wasn’t severe, was in a gray area, and courts likely wouldn’t prosecute tends to shut down young women reporting sexual assaults and harassment.
del
Um, no. It’s not a straw man. The conversation about the ARTICLE (not IN the article, ABOUT it) was about something seeming to be minor.
We were talking about severity. I brought up that I don’t think the severity is the same in those instances. Some may say it was.
It’s not her story that diminishes anything. Post #306 used a better word, it feels like it can ‘dilute’. Treating all stories the same in severity can dilute, IMO. Acknowledging that they can all create lasting trauma in the survivor does not diminish/dilute.
I don’t have an issue with them both being banned.
I’m not trying to change your thinking or your mind. I’m just giving my opinion on your statements. You still have the same beliefs after over 2,000 posts on this thread and countless other related threads that there is nothing anyone can say to change your thinking.
You’re a lost cause. My replying to what you write are for other people who are not so entrenched in your way of thinking.
No there are definitely stupid questions. Giving validity to said stupid questions only invites more.
Turn that mirror right back around on yourself. I may be a lost cause, but I’m not a piece of work.
The funny thing is that we mostly agree on the topic. You just can’t see it because you can’t comprehend anything but your exact way of thinking.
Fair point. :yes:
del
No I just don’t have the audacity to call out grey areas publicly with regards to sexual assault and rape victims because I interact with said victims and it’s in poor taste. Nor do I hyper analyze cases of sexual assault or rape in public.
You’re right. I’m a piece of work. But I’m also the person people turn to for advice and when they are in a crisis. I also hear these people and see these people after it happens.
ETA: I will play devils advocate all day long. I will not do it with this topic. I’m a piece of work but I’m not an a$&h$&@
I just went re-read the post you were responding too and yours…and then edited mine because you’re right…the poster you quoted made the same kind of comment I had. I felt you were making an indirect jab at me but it was really RainWeasley.
Apologies.
From post #2265 forward, this thread is a compelling demonstration that rape culture is alive and well. If we can seriously discuss whether or not an assault “was that severe” or “in a gray area” and other posters, mostly, I assume who are women, can defend that; then rape culture is not only alive and well, but thoroughly assimilated.
I am sorry this has devolved into acrimony; but I am just sad and incredulous at some of the responses.
All good!
No. I wouldn’t. Why would you assume that I would? I’m not standing in front of her, although perhaps because it’s online, it is in a way.
I would 100% support her.
The severity issue has nothing to do with supporting the victim and acknowledging trauma.
Then you probably shouldn’t talk about grey areas and it not being as bad as rape, or dissect her story online. Anything I post I would say in real life. My personal opinion of course.
Hrmmm…not sure what to say here. I do feel like I am being lumped into some idea that ‘rape culture’ is just fine.
Nope. Not at all. People need to keep their hands/lips/eyes/genitals to themselves unless invited to do otherwise.
AW did not invite JC to do otherwise. It was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
It was just as WRONG, WRONG, WRONG as what Jimmy Williams did to AK.
Or what Brock Turner did. Or Harvey Weinstein, or that guy that tried to kiss you when you didn’t want him too. All are WRONG.
Speaking of the Brock Turner case, someone brought him up earlier. Sitting here, thinking about it for a bit, they are right: there really isn’t much of a difference. (I know this response is delayed, but thinking about it with that situation is mind is helpful to my thought process.) So perhaps, my initial reaction on severity was off because, I 100% think Brock was a rapist, a$#hole.
Then say it’s wrong instead of playing devils advocate. There are plenty of people who honestly believe the point you are trying to make. We, as women, as humans, do not need other people playing devils advocate. There are plenty of people out there to make that argument because they believe it.
If you post publicly as the devils advocate, then yes, you are part of the rape culture. Full stop.
ETA: when the thread was discussing the op ed by the 17 year old in the chronicle I stayed quiet. I read it but didn’t say anything. Why? Because that’s her opinion and she’s allowed it. My opinion isn’t for “polite company.” So I stayed quiet. If one will not challenge people IRL they shouldn’t do it on a BB.
I’m not playing devil’s advocate and said it’s wrong many, many times.
I do believe there is a different in severity…even with my post above. But thinking about this instance, perhaps it was more severe than how I originally reacted.
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