WOW. It’s not just a shame, its criminal and can negatively affect people for the entire lives. So what, you dated a creep when you were 17 so that makes it OK. Laws are laws, keep your hands to yourself, and don’t abuse positions of power. Just because people thought it was OK back in the day doesn’t mean it is OK years later. Women were mostly scared back then, now we have strength. Can’t wait for the day attitudes like yours are gone and filled with new fresh ones where women don’t have to take manipulation and abuse any longer.
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and thank god those days are numbered.
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I am sad to say that the allegations are very real. I have first hand experience. It wasn’t just one person coming forward. I am ashamed to say that when contacted by Safesport, I refused to go on the record because I didn’t want to be part of a “witch hunt” for something which took place so long ago and because I didn’t want to go public. I still don’t. It is not my place to speak for others but very young girls were affected. I didn’t know about that part, They described conversations, words and phrases which matched what was said to me. I am sad for all involved.
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I find the backlash against safesport interesting. Coming from corporate world - the requirements aren’t particularly onerous. Don’t be alone with a minor. Cc a parent in a text or email. And don’t have a physical relationship with anyone under 18 or who is your student. If you want to date them, wait for them to be an adult and have them get a job with/ride with someone else first.Are there false accusations? There may be. But statistics show that is a low probability. I don’t know - my husband is a straight male trainer and I am not worried. I am a lot more worried about the kids.
As for this situation- I don’t know anything about the conviction or details so I can’t comment. Condolences for his family and connections.
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The whole high school student dating someone old enough to be out of college must be regional because my Mom would have flipped out and no one I know/knew then would have condoned it.
ETA: I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s.
On topic, this is so very sad for all involved.
@oneequestrienne I am so sorry you have gone through what you did but it is the policy of the board that any statements about SafeSport investigations be made with the posters actual name.
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Exactly. Enablers who turn a blind eye are the only ones who are OK with it. Anyone who studies abusers knows this is a common thing, going for someone much younger and immature in the mind, because they are much easier to manipulate and control.
@oneequestrienne thats just awful.
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People who want to know what RG was accused of could google. At least the framework of the sanctions, etc. is all out there. Rather than ask someone to explain it on a thread about a man’s suicide. Regardless of SafeSport or what he did/didn’t do/was accused of… he did kill himself (apparently) and that is terribly sad 
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The Facebook posts give the impression that the accusation dates from years ago. But I have no idea how true that is.
I was telling my decidedly non-horsey husband about this latest Safesport brouhaha this morning and he replied with “So I suppose these same people are also defending all the priests who have been accused from decades ago?” - kind of takes you out of the bubble and puts things in perspective. Power is power. Shaming the victim is always wrong. And no, time does not heal all wounds.
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I don’t know anything about Gage, other than occasionally seeing his Judge My Ride columns drift across my Facebook feed, and what people have posted about him here and on Twitter.
But it’s important to remember from a mental health standpoint that suicide is rarely caused by a single, determining factor.
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That Vanessa Brown thread. Man. Apparently Kursinski should have either said something 30 years ago or kept her mouth shut and now she has blood on her hands.
I have a hard time talking about some of the issues I have with SafeSport and then people like this who just excuse molestors.
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That thread is HORRIFIC. The vitriol is mindblowing.
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I get the lashing out by friends and family. It happens in suicides. There is a similar witch hunt going on that is Navy related by the parents of someone who suicided. Not condoning it but suicide leaves a lot of people angry and typically they blame everyone but the person. I’m not saying the vitriol should be directed at the person who suicided, just that it’s easier for those left behind to go after a soft target.
Suicide is the final word. I don’t pass judgement on those who choose that path, but it does leave a wake of destruction and a feeling of failure for those left behind. I get the vitriol. I don’t agree with it, but I’m not surprised by it.
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I’m with your mom.
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I think Safesport is so important- far too long people of any age have been victimized in sports where the is an unequal balance of power and an overflowing culture of entitlement. I just wish that the USEF in their own dealings would equally apply the same polices to other crimes and behaviors committed by members and do so fairly and equally.
We also need to stop being part of the problem- enabling and double standards and looking the other way for some is something we can control.
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No kids of my own but me too. I get the whole older guy attraction. And then I hit 25, 35 and beyond. Now I reflect back and think how can a high school student have anything remotely in common with a 25 year old?
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Never happen! And I think that’s the biggest problem people have with Safe Sport. It’s a third party investigation. No more free pass due to “Don’t you know who I am?!”
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Even in the early 2000s, I dated someone much older before I turned 18. It was lightly questioned, but generally accepted. I’m not saying it’s right, but I do think we need to be reasonable. I think Safesport has a premise everyone can get behind, but the application of Safesport has some real issues. And I think the potential for abuse is huge. Anonymous reporting is an issue. You go to the cops? Your name is on that report if you want it to go anywhere. That deters false reporting. Even if it’s proven false in the end, the accusation and investigation alone is enough to ruin an entire career.
ITA with you, @MyssMyst.
ITA.
I removed the post because I still do not have the courage to use my name, especially after seeing the vitriol against victims all over social media.
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I hope you find peace and realize all of us that support you, me included are here for you. PM is you need to talk.
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