“perfectionism” as a negative trait?
When asked in a job interview, what personal characteristic you like least about yourself - the standard answer is:
“I’m a perfectionist”
You may embellish this answer with
“I am an elite, successful perfectionist”
A reminder
Rule #2 of the BB Rules states
The board is to discuss issues, not individuals.
A comment
As far as I am concerned, a public individual has a right to have a private life. These forums are read by many people and we have no right to specualte about about any individual’s private life and private choices on them.
You want to discuss issues - discuss away. But, have the common courtesy to respect others, including those who put themselves in the public eye.
Enough said, if you have a problem with this, address it to me personally, not on the forum.
Point taken.
Uh, really? Sorry, Musical Jumper, but I’m pretty sure Robert “bats for the other team”, so to say! 
I agree that Arjen (who rides Goliath) is a looker, but according to Anky’s website, he has a partner named Frank. bummer
Interesting that it’s okay to speculate about women’s bodies (see previous thread about C. Traurig) but not this. No opinion about it, just an observation . . .
Personally, I thought I had moved on. I’m on to the topic of when and where you can say things and why some things are considered taboo when other things are not.
My next question is whether or not there is a double standard still in existence due to the way that we try to be overly careful in what we sometimes say. I mean, as far as sexuality goes (not in reference to a specific person) no one would have any problems if a person was saying they thought another one was cute and hetero. But, if someone says another person is cute and maybe gay, everyone freaks out about it because of the term. Is it still bad? Where’s the problem? Not everyone means the term to be used in a negative way…often it is just a piece of information that they don’t think is a big deal because it is a known part of the other person’s life (still not discussing the person in the beginning of this string).
Any one have any thoughts? I keep thinking we are walking too carefully in a day and age where most people understand it is here and don’t try to change things. It doesn’t seem to be a bad label anymore…especially not among my gay friends who like to speculate and ask to see if they can ask the person out on a date. It’s just part of life, and can’t we discuss all parts of life? (Maybe we shouldn’t or don’t need to on this board, but can’t we talk about it without everyone covering their ears or screaming at us that we are being insensitive when it is a fact of life?)
Okay, I’m done with my questions. I am interested to hear from others on this topic if they want to post back…without mentioning names or pointing fingers. 
I agree totally, RescueMom, as long as lesbians are being beaten up and raped, and young gay men are being crucified on split rail fences and left to die, it does make a difference. I really admire those people who are out, because I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be. We need to give them our support politically, socially and emotionally. And we need to not speculate about those who are not out, because it can only do them harm and they are at risk enough as it is.
TooraO–careful there. YOU may be making some assumptions yourself! Unless you know Musical Jumper personally . . .
Let’s remember that discussing individuals can lead us into murky waters. This kind of speculation is really not doing anything constructive. I’m not going to delete anything, but please watch very closely what you are saying. Thanks.
slc–I’m confused. If elite athletes are such well-rounded loved individuals, why was it you didn’t want to trade places with C. Traurig?
I quote:"…a life takes you away from family and friends, and you give up everything - you can’t just go off shopping or stay up late one night watching tv if you feel like it - it’s a LOT to give up."
I don’t suppose fencing on the top American women’s team makes me an elite athlete (or even a former elite athlete) but to win the National Championship every woman on our team was a single-minded perfectionist. I’m not saying that’s true for all elite athletes, but it certainly was true for my college fencing team. And I have to admit, although some people on the team made the Olympics, I didn’t, not because of some injury but because I didn’t want to enough to give up all the other parts of my life.
Anyway–would I want to be the S.O. of an elite dressage rider? No way. If we both rode who would take care of the house and the cooking?
Velvet, we have always tried to steer topics away from the personal lives of professional riders, no matter what their orientation.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GailD:
I really admire those people who are out, because I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be. We need to give them our support politically, socially and emotionally. And we need to not speculate about those who are not out, because it can only do them harm and they are at risk enough as it is. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Thank you very much for saying that Gail! I came to this thread a bit late (as always!) and as a gay man I can say that your words were touching to me.
I’m disappointed I didn’t see this thread when it started, as there have been some very thoughtful posts placed here
LOL, AMH, you’re right! Sorry, Musical-Jumper, if I offended you in any way.
Could your eastern Quebecian rider be Eric Lamaze… hmmmmm… he’s kinda cute in a bob kinda way… okay noone here understands that! haha
“If we both rode who would take care of the house and the cooking?”
It’s a good thing my Hubby’s alergic to horses.
PH had an article in the summer of top female riders who were married and starting families. Laura Kraut was one. There was a dressage rider and another jumper. Was Karen O’Connor hinting at the family thing?
I guess they made all the necessary sacrifices to get to the top, but once they were there, they could branch out. I’ve heard of other top riders taking up things like ballroom dancing to balance out their lives.
So who takes care of the family and homes…?
A “staff” of nannies, personal assistants and grooms. And I think Grandma is also available for some babysitting. Or so said the article.
As I said, I’m not pointing the finger specifically at TCoH or at any rider, but I am wondering what the big deal is even if someone were to speculate, and if it’s only our society that has these issues.
it is INDEED very important to always remember that there are some pretty crazy people out there, and some very, very bad things have been done to gays in our country as well as others. so i think it’s important to keep comments very general…and very supportive. who knows, maybe if the bashers constantly are given another point of view, maybe they’ll calm down.
i had a very interesting conversation with an older man, very set in his ways, who started complaining about gay men. i voiced a very positive opinion and said i supported them and saw no reason to be so negative.
he said something very odd, that i had never really bothered to think about, ‘‘i thought i always had to talk like that to prove to everyone that i was a real man’’.
i said, ‘‘if you’re secure in who you are, you don’t have to struggle so hard to try and prove it to people’’.
[This message has been edited by slc (edited 10-15-2000).]
On behalf of all womankind… PHEW!!!
Now, Guenter Seidel…oooooh baby!
JenniferS
Speculations on RD aside, I have a question.
Why are all the women in dressage drooling over men in dressage? Would we really want to have one of them as a life partner when we all know what dressage and horses does to your personality? (Perfectionism and single-mindedness.)
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