These thoughts may be buried in the rest of the conversation already, but–
One thing I always see when people start down this road and give up riding on contact, is that their hands end up in their chest, or behind their back, or generally way out of position. What they forgot to learn is simply how to adjust reins quickly. You can’t just hold in one spot and do everything (or nothing ;)). You have to get used to being able to run your hand down the rein to shorten, or let the rein run through your hand to add slack (I know, as a former dressage rider, that makes you shudder, right?). This means that your own balance has to really be independent of the reins.
And, so you practice that, and get good at it, and learn to ride without looking over their shoulder every step (I love that image), nor startling them when you do make an adjustment. Things are good.
And then, for whatever reason, you go back to riding on contact for a moment. And you know what you find out? You find that you understand contact like you never did before. You suddenly know how to genuinely have contact, but to stay out of the way of the horse’s balance. You can have contact without causing them to move their neck out of a healthy, athletic position–you have learned how to let them find their balance, and carry themselves.(and suddenly, you can ride without a noseband, and their mouth stays closed and quiet, and they start to chew the bit properly). All those things that are so valued in classical dressage, but get so lost in asking undeveloped riders to value forward over everything else, including their’s and their horse’s natural balance.
Don’t be afraid to let go, it’s good for you both. Just get used to adjusting the position of your hands on the rein as much and as often as you need, in a single, fluid motion, without disturbing your position, or your horse.
