This is what I’m hoping for, but regardless I will have to publicly advertise her
The buyer was and still is lovely, but I should have vetted the trainer better. I was under the impression she would be working with a different trainer.
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It sounds like your mare is a somewhat typical TB mare who likes a sensitive “asking” rider and unfortunately got paired with an inexperienced rider who tends to clamp down when nervous and a spank-and-crank trainer who blamed physical problems for her training style and worried the clients into getting a lot of expensive diagnostics that said the mare was healthy. I can definitely see why you feel upset for both the horse and even the rider! But from your description, I’m sure she’ll find her person if you’re careful vetting the buyer. If it makes you feel better, I doubt the people who did buy her would have been able to sell her effectively through that trainer, or with continued poor riding.
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Could you not talk to good people who know good people and work off word of mouth since it’s not like it seems you’re in urgent need to get one off the feed bill?
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It’s not morally wrong. To ease your conscience you could give the prior owner an FYI. You don’t need permission but it may make you feel better. Sounds like the program wasn’t good for that horse and the one he is in now with you works.
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@Impractical_Horsewoman she was a child’s horse beforehand, she can take a joke, but she does require some compassion.
@jvanrens we plan to spread the word internally first, but the area we live in is pretty sub par for horsemen. I anticipate I’ll have to do something formal.
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I think, if you still feel some kind of way or guilty or nervous about selling or leasing the horse on after the previous buyer gave her back to you because horse and rider and situation were a bad fit, this could be one way to manage it. You don’t have to do it. And you wouldn’t be a bad person for not doing it.
If you do decide to offer her some part of whatever price you get, I wouldn’t tell her anything ahead of time. Just send her whatever money with a note along the lines of “I’m sorry things didn’t work out, thank you for wanting the best for her” or whatever feels right.
But don’t feel obligated to do any of that. And especially not if you think previous buyer might turn into a drama queen or anything like that. She gave you back the horse with no stipulations, so as far as I’m concerned, you have no obligations to the former owner.
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You OP are legitimately way more invested in this horse than the temporary buyer. You trained her, you sold her, you’ve had her on your payroll for a year. The other family has moved on long ago to another horse, maybe another trainer, and child is crazy over current horse and barely remembers the “bad horse we had to return to seller.” They have erased the incident from their minds. They may also have had to buy and return multiple horses until they found one their trainer could ride. Or they changed trainers and now think of that period as “the bad trainer when we didn’t know better.”
If they see the horse advertised they will only be mildly curious for a nano second if that.
They are not brooding about the bad horse they had to return.
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You are a good person. I can also guess what the problems were and I’m glad you took her back.
There is nothing morally wrong with listing her as long as you are upfront. You own her.
If you sell her for a chunk of money over your expenses it would be extremely nice to give them some, no-one expects you too and you don’t have to but I’d feel a bit guilty too. How much is entirely up to you.
I would not sell them another horse though.
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I feel like that’s a slippery slope and opens the door to disagreements about what is acceptable/deserved.
Personally, you took back a horse you didn’t have to take back, put in training, and are now welcome to sell it again. I don’t think any communication much less money is owed to the first buyer.
Years ago I sold a horse. Sweet kid but she was over horsed more than I realized and the trainer talked a good talk but didn’t have a big toolbox. A year later I took the horse back. She stayed with me for life. However, if I’d sold her I wouldn’t have felt any obligation to compensate the well intentioned owner whose lack of skills + a bad trainer created behavioral issues I had to undo.
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To echo the other posters, you are a very good person by trying to do right by your horse, and you shouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt for trying to find this horse her person.
Sometimes horses don’t thrive in their environment (and I’m speaking from experience). The previous owners did their due diligence by vetting extensively to find what appears to be nothing found. To a person from the outside looking in… they could have tried to find a better environment for themselves and their horse but instead determined the best choice to be giving the horse back - which is totally within their rights! But now it’s within your rights to find the horse a home she’ll thrive in, especially after doing your due diligence to get to the bottom of the issue.
Please don’t think I’m putting down the previous owners for not trying harder to make the horse work for their lifestyle either. Sometimes what we buy doesn’t work out and it can be daunting to “jump off the cliff” to a new program with no guarantees it will work out in your favour. I get it.
Big hugs. Reading your replies it appears both the previous owners and yourself want the horse to find the best home. Just because it wasn’t the previous owners doesn’t mean there is any shame in continuing to try to find this horses person.
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Did you refund ( some or all) of the purchase price? I guess if you do sell her and the new owner is a great fit you can reimburse the previous owner for some costs if they just gave her back without a refund.
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Honestly I would just let it slide. The family didn’t seem to need or want a refund at the time. They e moved on. I wouldn’t contact them to revisit their Very Big Expensive Mistake which they may feel defensive about.
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I’m with Scribbler. Don’t go scratching that scab. Just list her and be honest with the buyer.
I actually bought a horse like this some years ago. The seller, who was the horse’s breeder who had taken him back, gelded him and worked with him after his purchaser had got in over their head with a large and assertive stallion, was very straightforward with me about what had happened.
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Me three here. Let it go. There is no “seller etiquette” for very rare situations like this to worry about and you did nothing wrong nor did you have any involvement in why their trainer could not get the horse to perform to their expectations.
The overwhelmingly vast majority of sellers would not even have taken the horse back, you have been good to them.
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If it was a couple of weeks or even a month, it might be different. But they had it almost a year, during which many things may have occurred that were not shared with you, maybe “trainer” did not share some details with the gal who returned her either.
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I disagree. Depending on the situation and details of how the horse was returned, f the prior owners find about a re-sale, they might bad-mouth OP and/or the horse.
I would disclose EVERYTHING. Put it on paper and have the buyers sign that you have disclosed all medical history and prior performance issues. Just like a disclosure statement for real estate. That way no one can say “you didn’t tell us.”
I would not refund sale price or share any proceeds of re-sale.
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Absolutely. There’s really no way to know which way it would go. It’s also entirely possible that even if the former owner doesn’t see the sales ad, the potential buyer might track them down while looking into the horse’s history and reach out for their side of the story. If there were any sales ads on social media, or if the former owner posted about the horse at all, that’s all out there for another buyer to find. OP is still fine to market the horse openly IMO, but they should think through how they plan to address the former owner if they do somehow get involved.
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Yes, they might well badmouth the horse, either honestly because they don’t know why they failed, or maliciously. Indeed any honest answer they could give from their perspective could have a chilling effect (horse started stopping, trainer couldn’t fix, we found mild arthritic changes and returned to seller). But offering a slice of resale price isn’t going to stop that.
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People badmouth horses all the time. Always have, particularly trainers who were unsuccessful with one that sold to somebody who did figure them out. So far this has not come to your attention so, IMO, not worth fretting over the maybe mights.
What do you think former owner expects you do with your horse? Keep it forever and ever?
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