I’ve been needing some advice lately on what I should do next in my riding journey. I’ve ridden for a few years, and have come to the point where I can’t really progress any further on my barn’s lesson horses. My family can’t afford to lease or purchase a horse. I know that I could move barns: if not to find higher-level lesson horses, to at least possibly make some friends (I don’t really have any friends at my barn currently despite there being quite a few people my age, and I’ve been here for a while, but I think community would help me come to enjoy riding again). However, the barn I am currently at was recommended by several trusted people that my family knows, and the staff are just so amazing. Also, we have been told that the other barns in my area are poorly managed and/or have negative environments, are too expensive even just for lessons, etc. I do have friends at some of those other barns, but from what I’ve heard, I am not sure the environment/trainers of those barns would be good for me in the long run.
The other option I have is quitting altogether. The thought of jumping the same courses in my lessons for years on end just bores me, but I am absolutely destroyed over the thought of quitting; this is my passion, and even though I’ve accepted that being a high-level competitive rider isn’t in my future financially, I still want to be able to progress further. I’ve been told that any saddle time should be appreciated, and I am thankful for every lesson I get. But it’s become almost a chore to go to the barn. I just don’t enjoy it, but I don’t feel at peace about the idea of quitting. I just can’t let go. But unless a miracle happens, I don’t think it’s financially possible for me to go any further.
What do I do? I feel like I’d be betraying people by quitting or moving barns, but everything is just so dull now.
The first thing I think I would do in your position is set up a lesson at one or two other barns. I would not simply take one persons word for it that it isn’t the place for you - only you can determine that. Go visit the barn, take a lesson to get an idea of the horses they have available and the program they offer. Then, if you like what you see and it gives you a good vibe, go for a second lesson… if not, try another barn.
In order to grow, and learn and become a better horseperson, you have to step outside your comfort zone sometimes. Maybe taking that risk works out, maybe it doesn’t. But you will never know if you don’t try.
It doesn’t sound to me like you want to give riding up. So give some other places a try. If you find nothing suitable, then re-evaluate. I think you will be happy you tried, whether it leads to new adventures in riding or not. There is nothing much worse in life, than looking back and saying “I wish I had ________”. Take it from this old lady who knows what that feels like.
Why do you think that you can’t progress on your current barn’s horses? Have you had a chat with your trainer? If not, have a chat and share your interests, desires and concerns! You might be pleasantly surprised, or you might answer some of your own questions about needing to move forward elsewhere!
Go and visit other barns and see for yourself. Keep what you’ve heard in the back of your mind and make your own informed decisions.
It can be hard to progress past a certain level on once a week lessons. You may need to get creative to get some extra saddle time. Can you exchange work for rides somewhere?
I would second the notion of taking a lesson at a few barns or even auditing a lesson.
As @Scribbler said, it can be hard to progress if you only take one lesson a week. Consider using your spare time to make money so you can take more than one lesson a week. Consider offering services like pet-sitting, baby-sitting, house cleaning, car washing, etc. for neighbors, family and friends.
You are not betraying anyone. If you’re not getting what you need from a barn it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look around.
I would definitely take a lesson or two at another barn and see what you think. What people have told you may not line up to what you really experience.
I also have found that the perfect lesson barn is difficult to find. Finding:
good trainer
good facilities
good lesson horses
all in the same barn is something of a needle in a haystack. Finding 2 out of 3 is easy enough, but finding the 3rd component in the same barn was hard. Finding friends as well - even harder. Finding it in your price range and at a reasonable distance…also hard.
Keep looking, though. Because until you look, you won’t know. And the personalities involved often color the judgement of the person giving you “advice.” Make your own decision.
I switched barns because the trainer just wasn’t good at one barn. I liked the barn for all the other reasons, and ended up going to a less nice barn, in my opinion, but with much better instruction. There were definitely pros and cons involved but it was the right decision at the time. I still refer people to the other barn though. And if I were interested in taking lessons again I would probably go there first.
Are you old enough to work? Can you get a part time job to help defray the costs of riding, and maybe save up to do a part lease over the summer next summer?
I’ve been in your position, it’s frustrating. My advice is take a break from lessons and see if you can ride horses that need to be exercised. Just enjoy riding without any goals.
You’ll become a better rider just from riding different horses and you might find out that there are other disciplines you enjoy.
I didn’t own a horse for many years and as a result I’ve: taken lessons, jumped, showed, exercised polo horses, helped a friend condition her endurance horses, ridden gaited horses, gone on training runs with a local hunt, and driving.
I think it would make sense to take a couple of lessons at other barns. Sometimes just a change of scenery helps to hold the interest (True for horses too).
If you’ve only ridden in a ring, for example, try to take some lessons where they’ll get you out of the ring. Maybe take a one-on-one lesson a few times (this assumes that you’ve mostly been doing group lessons).
Heck, take some lessons doing western if that’s the only option that will get you out of the ring. There’s a lot more to riding than going around in circles; I am not trying to be snarky at all, but just pushing you to expand your horizons!
Why does everybody always make things so complicated?
If you’re not happy where you are, then try someplace else. Booking a lesson or two at a new place is not a lifetime commitment. If you try a place out and don’t like it, you don’t have to ever go back.
And like others have suggested, don’t rule out other disciplines. If there are places that offer lessons in western riding, dressage, eventing, or even saddle seat, give them a try.
Only you can decide whether or not you want to quit riding. Lots of people do. Lots of people take a break and then come back later. It’s not a big deal.
I started riding at a place that had a great lesson program and great lesson horses. But, after a certain point, you were expected to purchase your own horse in order to progress to higher jumps, higher level showing, and fox hunting. My family couldn’t afford that. I did have a horse, but it wasn’t of the caliber to participate in that program. So, I did other things. I joined 4-H, competed at 4-H shows, and went to the county fair. Most of my high school years were spent trail riding. There are lots of ways to keep riding outside the traditional hunter/jumper world lesson barn.
The lesson horses at my barn can’t jump higher than 2’6, which is what I’ve been jumping for over a year now. I can surely progress in smaller areas of my riding, but the boredom is still an issue, haha. I haven’t talked to my trainer about it, but that could be a good idea. I’m just not sure what they could really do.
To those who asked if I can work either to earn saddle time or to pay off a lease:
I don’t think my current barn has any need for working students, but I do know other barns have that option. As far as generally getting a job, I plan to do so sometime this year or early next year. However, lease horses at the level I ride at are probably more expensive than what a highschooler can afford, lol.
I probably seem so negative! I do really appreciate everyone’s advice so far, though. I think I will try to set up a lesson or two at some other barns in the area to see what I think. If possible, I’d love to find one that has other disciplines as well. It was pointed out that a change of scenery could be enough to get me going again, and I think that’s probably true, even if it’s a temporary change. Even if nothing comes from this, it’s encouraging to hear people say that they’ve gone through a similar experience in their riding journey.
I totally get having ambitions that are beyond one’s financial means. I was lucky as a junior to have a parent capable of financing my riding ambitions, but these days I pay my own way and cannot currently afford anything beyond lessons. I have only been back at this a few weeks after a long break, but that break and my financial limitations have given me perspective.
Yes that means that I am limited in terms of what height I can jump, etc, but I also find that the financial limitations mean I appreciate any saddle time that much more. And I try to remind myself that (for example) riding a schoolie dull to my leg means that I am building a LOT of leg strength that will serve me in the future. And I try to remember that building a solid foundation is more important than progressing to bigger sticks faster.
When I was your age, jumping bigger and bigger fences meant a lot to me. At my age, although I still want to jump bigger fences, I appreciate just being around horses and improving myself. I am not challenging myself to jump ever higher, but challenging myself to be a better rider. I am competing against myself.
When I used to jump the bigger sticks, I didn’t fully appreciate the importance of flatwork, or the importance of building a solid foundation. These days I appreciate it a lot more. I see my time on the schoolies as an opportunity to work more on myself and build my strengths… and one can always work on themselves.
So, I guess I am saying that beyond jumping, have you focused on what else you can do to improve yourself on these horses? How is your eq? One can always work on equitation on any horse. Is your seat soft and your hand following and forgiving? Is your leg still? Your shoulders back and down and relaxed? How is your flatwork? Can you get a horse moving forward with impulsion? Can you get them in a frame? Can you extend and collect? Can you do things like flying changes? Half halts? Lateral work? How is your horsemanship and ground work? Do you know how to groom to win? Do you know how to clean and maintain tack and equipment? What do you know about management and health and nutrition? If your trainer doesn’t offer horsemanship type stuff, have you asked if they could?
Being a good rider or horseman isn’t just about the size of fence you jump. It is about being effective in and out of the tack and looking good while doing it, about understanding how horses think and work and using that to your advantage, about understanding their needs and wants and their health, and it is about treating them as well as you possibly can both in the saddle and out of it. Frankly, you could spend years with schoolies and still not know the half of it. Use this time to your advantage - the stakes are much higher when you own a horse and their health and happiness is your responsibility.
There are riders who jump in the GPs who look terrible and go around kicking or hanging on a horse’s mouth, throwing themselves all over the place, and just generally making the horse’s job harder. If they have really nice horses, they might even win. It doesn’t make them good horsemen. So, bigger sticks don’t mean better riding.
So, yes - by all means, try out other barns. They may have schoolies that are capable of jumping higher (but most won’t). But if lessons are all you can afford, you can still learn a great many things that will serve you down the road when you can afford to lease or buy a horse capable of doing more. And the great thing about this sport is there is always something more to learn.
Around here, a horse capable of jumping 2 foot 6 or two foot nine would lease for a "share board"or “half lease” price of half his monthly costs, or a “full free lease” where you assume all costs and treat him as your own.
Depending on how much the owner is paying for board, a “half lease” situation could be around $300 a month. And usually a nicer horse than a lesson horse, because he isn’t being ridden by so many beginners.
That could still be well out of someone’s price range, of course. But you are not looking at horses that lease for $20,000 a year plus care costs.
That’s a really good point. In many ways, my eq has increased greatly since I came to this barn, and so I know my current trainers can and will help me improve it further. But lately, I feel like it’s been getting a bit worse. So that’s another thing that is causing me to question my options right now. Maybe it’s because I haven’t ridden a ton this summer, since my barn has been away at shows a lot? But I also wonder if it’s because I lack motivation. I’ve never been someone to give up, but lately I’ve had a lot of moments where I just stop caring about how I look or ride, as awful as that is. Like, towards the end of a lesson, I’ll just be wanting to get over the last fence and be done, you know?
Maybe I don’t need a barn change, I just need to figure out how to re-motivate myself. Although I’m not really sure how to.
I am in a different spot than you, in that I am a lot older and I used to ride at a higher level than you do, but have only been back at this for a short time. I say this to illustrate that I have seen both sides. And I haven’t been back at it long enough to get really frustrated.
BUT I can say that I do REALLY derive a great deal of pleasure from not caring about the size of the fences or the quality of the horse and instead just focusing 100% on myself and my ability to be effective and look good. I hadn’t ridden in 17 years, but am jumping around over small fences and got a flying change the other day. I can see myself wanting a better horse soon. I already do, if I am honest. But I won’t be able to afford that.
So, what can I do in the meantime? Improve myself. Focus 100% on my eq, on my use of aids, etc. These are things that in my experience can be developed on any horse. And when you develop them riding a clunker, they are all the more effective (and you use less of them) on a Ferrari.
There will always be room to improve, so keep improving! Even GP riders have things they can improve on. And if you feel your eq has gotten worse, then focus on that.
I cross train at the gym using a program largely based on The Riders Fitness Program. There are other similar workouts (the Plaidcast recently featured one). Maybe focus on getting fit as an athlete?
Unless your riding is unimpeachable on the horses you are currently riding, then quitting doesn’t seem like a good option. “Compete” against yourself, keep improving, and use this time to figure out how to make money and afford to move up in a way that makes sense for you.
You are in high school. You have your entire life ahead of you to do bigger things. It’s okay to take your time.
If your lessons are always the same - w, t, c, jump the same course the same way, I can see how that would get stale after a while.
Way back in medieval times (the early 1970’s), the group lesson program I was in really mixed it up. We had regular lessons sometimes, other times we rode off property on a long ride across other people’s farms. Sometimes we’d get to the lesson all mounted up on our horse or school horse, and the trainer would have all of us switch horses/ponies (which was one of my favorites) for the entire lesson. You weren’t permitted to switch tack (like saddle) - you had to make due! And sometimes we did gymnastic lines - no stirrups, and no reins! So there was no getting in a rut of repitition, as we never knew beforehand what we would be doing.
So maybe sit down with your trainer and ask if your group lesson could do a trail ride (even if its just around the farm property) or gymnastics or something. Though, having the experience of a lesson or two elsewhere I still think is a good idea.
Thank you for all the advice. I think getting physically stronger would definitely benefit my riding skills, so that’s something I know I need to start focusing on in any case, lol! And you’re right, quitting won’t benefit me. It’s hard to keep a strong, positive mindset in a repetitive environment but maybe I can figure out creative ways to challenge myself and improve my abilities. I actually wonder if it would be beneficial to ask my trainer about ways to spice up my lessons and find new things to work on. Of course, I still have the option of checking out other barns, which is still something I will try to do. But since I don’t really want to leave if I can find another way to enjoy riding again, maybe following your advice would be a better option to try first.
Lol, that sounds like so much fun! Before I saw your post, I actually had just said that asking my trainer for creative twists in my lessons might be a good idea. I actually don’t take group lessons that often, since most of the other kids are at varying levels, but honestly when I do lesson with other people, I enjoy the lesson so much more. But even in individual lessons, I’m sure there are ways to make it more interesting.
