Should I sell my horse?

[Scribbler]

@Smoke

I am leaning toward sticking it out with him given he’s not “dangerous” and just plain green and I’m lacking confidence but if I keep him I’m planning on sending him for a few months training in January so that by the time spring rolls around I can continue with the training. The trainer who I’m thinking of sending him to also provides unlimited lessons although is about 50 mins away but I’m going to aim to go once a week while he’s in training. The only downside is that the training will all be in an indoor arena due to weather but I’m hoping skills learned here will transfer over to the trail riding , etc.
it could be that he may still not be a horse that can just go on a slow relaxing trail ride but perhaps after the training I’ll ask what his strengths are and steer my riding in that direction instead . All i do right now is some arena work and recreational trail riding but I’m not adverse to starting some competing possibly if the stars aligned. I used to do local shows 10 or more years ago when I was a kid/ teenager. Clinics would also be good once I get a horse trailer

IME virtually all horses can go on slow relaxing trail rides, but not all riders can

If you want the horse slow and relaxed on trails, then you need to ride him slow and relaxed. That might mean being strategic about picking who you go riding with. If you head out with company that wants to go blasting off at a canter, yes your horse is going to want to follow, and if you try to check him he will fuss. Every horse will do that.

Go trail riding with folks who respect your current limits, who are willing to walk and to trot just as much as you feel comfortable with, and who don’t shame you into galloping because you are “ruining their ride” otherwise.

If your trails rides are calm, big forward walk and medium trot, and you do not train your horse to expect to gallop, he will learn that trail rides are calm and quiet. If you go out with rowdies and risk takers who want to hot rod around, your horse will learn that’s what’s expected of him.

When I was a teen we had “cantering stretches” in our routine. As we approached, my pony would start to cavort and prance, and I encouraged her a little bit to impress the locals. Then we would “bomb” up the trail, until she’d used up some of that energy. Then we would have a nice quiet ride because that was the expectation on other trails.

As a returning rider, now that I’m trailering out to trail systems to ride, I’ve only been doing walk/trot. I’ve been going out with friends who have less experience trail riding than me, and taking care of them. I am in no real hurry to “bomb” flat out on the trail systems. I am not riding, period, with anyone who would try to insist that I do so, on anything other than my own timeline.

My teen self would not be pleased with my middle aged self, but my middle aged self thinks it’s fantastic and amazing that I am riding at all, and that I am riding out of the arena to boot so all is good.

Picking your riding companions is job number one.

[Flyingfish]

OP, you are definitely not alone! My boy also gets faster and faster at the canter, and me - well, my very patient instructor has commented that I have ‘a lovely way of going with the horse; now you just need to influence him’. Ouch. So we go back to walk and trot, where I can hold it all together.

Luvmyhackney has offered great advice. The one-rein stop is your friend; my boy is trained to it. I am hoping to need it less and less as we progress, and ultimately rarely, but the security of knowing I can stop him is huge.

The other thing about being a re-rider is rebuilding your core strength; if you haven’t considered it already, yoga / Pilates type exercises that you can do at home may be useful. Getting someone to video you riding may also help: for me it lets me see what I am doing that I can work on correcting, and helps me link what the horse is doing with what I feel. If you could persuade your OH? Even better if he comes to a lesson and can be shown how to spot for one or two correctable habits in your riding and call them for you when you school solo. He’ll be helping keep the cost down.