Should I sell my horse?

[DollyDoll]

Please be gentle, I know maybe to you guys the choice is obvious but I’m pretty new at this and i have no idea what choice is the right choice.

So, I posted on here a while ago about trying out some horses. Long story short I haven’t bought them yet but it’s because the deal I had with my horse fell through (irresponsible buyer, long story) so I’ve been riding him actively once again since I still want to be learning and taking lessons and to keep in shape. We used to do the 1m-1.10m, but I have always ridden him with some unconfidence simply because I just don’t trust him most of the time.

He’s a good horse, agile, fast, pulls towards the jumps, soft canter, beautiful transitions (he does try to run for lead changes but he’s gotten better), can solve from short distances (long is 50/50 if he might jump) and he has an incredible track record winning almost every show he’s been in but he gets excited way too quickly and sometimes he’s pulling towards the jumps just to duck out and you go flying over the jump. And if he’s done jumping he will let you know by refusing to even head towards the jumps and just running past them. He once even knocked me out when he was having a pissy day and didn’t feel like jumping, it was probably the height because anything higher than 1m makes him just harder to ride (no vet issues, healthy as can be).

He doesn’t forgive any mistakes, at most two on a good day, zero on a normal day, and then he is done and refuses and won’t budge, and it can be hard to hold him back when he just wants to run (at all our shows we have made record time and it gives my mom a heart attack every time) but if I don’t let him run he HATES it and won’t jump (trainer says that that is his speed since he is a bit on the short side which that also makes distances a nightmare), personally whenever we’re jumping and we head towards a jump its so hard for me to find a distance because he just pulls and RUNS towards the jumps as much as I try to pull him back. He is ridden in a super soft bit not because I want him in it but because if he has anything bitless or anything stronger in his mouth he will not jump (not sure why). My trainer loves my horse, says he’s a good boy, not the best but a good horse, and he always hints that he wants me to keep him and I don’t know if I should keep him. I know that sometimes when he refuses it is 100% my mistake but shouldn’t he at least forgive tiny mistakes? Especially when I a still keeping my leg on tight and not flailing around.

I am not a professional rider, I know I make mistakes and sometimes can be a bit rough, I tend to have a very strong seat and unconsciously squeeze my legs when I get stressed or too in the moment, so I know that doesn’t help since my horse runs a bit hot but its so frustrating dealing with him sometimes. It can be amazing some days, his dressage is to die for and we’ve made him look so pretty with some nice muscles and beautiful form, but jumping can be so complicated for me. I have won a ton on him, no matter the course as long as i rode him hard and pointed him without giving him even a chance to look around the jump to see where he can run out (which is why usually we take super tight turns that way he doesn’t have a chance to run for too much or think about how to refuse) during shows he would jump but during practice when I want to learn to ride pretty and not crazy like i ride him in shows he just becomes a huge dick some days. He can jump up to 1.10-1.20 but I know it would be tough but according to my trainer it wouldn’t. Is he a good horse? HE IS but I just don’t know if maybe we just don’t mesh and I should sell him or maybe I should just power through

[Jealoushe]

@DollyDoll

it can be hard to hold him back when he just wants to run (at all our shows we have made record time and it gives my mom a heart attack every time) but if I don’t let him run he HATES it and won’t jump (trainer says that that is his speed since he is a bit on the short side which that also makes distances a nightmare), personally whenever we’re jumping and we head towards a jump its so hard for me to find a distance because he just pulls and RUNS towards the jumps as much as I try to pull him back. He is ridden in a super soft bit not because I want him in it but because if he has anything bitless or anything stronger in his mouth he will not jump (not sure why)

This is a sign of a horse who is fearful or in pain.

Do you have any video? Hard to say which without the video or more details, but I would stop jumping this horse for now. He clearly does not enjoy it, and honestly it should never be that much work!

This horse has spent a lot of time trying to show you just how uncomfortable/unhappy he is jumping but those cries have fallen on deaf ears from both you and your trainer. This is a big learning opportunity for you, when your horse speaks to you, you must listen.

I would be giving this horse a serious vet work up, from teeth, to ulcers, to saddle fit and checking the feet/hocks. There is more than just a naughty horse happening here.

[DollyDoll]

He isn’t in any pain! When we first got him we were scared he either might have back issues or maybe even ulcers and nothing. We thought it was fear and it isn’t either because he enjoys jumping he can just sometimes get fed up and be done so I know that isn’t a problem. I’ve had him for two years and he’s never had any health issues and he has a vet and a chiro come check him every three months, gets his teeth checked and, if needed, done every three months as well.

I actually first got the horse and then got the saddle fitted to him so he isn’t in pain. I promise I thought that at first too but apparently according to the vets I’ve had see him he’s just like that.

[BlueMoonJumper]

If he runs at the jumps so badly that you’re having big problems seeing distances, and that problem is not going to be solved, things are not going to improve as the jumps get bigger. He will need an even more accurate ride as things get physically challenging for him, and you will probably get more anxious. So your capacity to provide the support he demands will decrease even as his requirements increase.

In my opinion, from this post and your other thread, it sounds like 1.0m and below is this horse’s true comfort level. No shame in selling him on if you’re not a good match.

[DollyDoll]

I’ve learned to just think on the fly for distances but yeah, I personally get scared thinking of doing anything higher because sure at 1m or 1.10m if you get a not so excellent distance you aren’t so at risk but at 1.20m you need to have a good distance. I’ve already seen people flip over because of hot horses and not being able to measure them.

Yeah, I’ve noticed he does have a comfort level even though he is perfectly capable of soaring through the 1.20m but I’ve heard some trainers say that sometimes pushing a horses comfort zone can make them better but I don’t know if theres any truth to that.

[Redlei44]

Riding is supposed to be fun. If your trainer likes him so much, he can buy him. You just spent three paragraphs describing a horse that is very difficult for you, you aren’t confident with, does not mesh with you or your riding style, tolerates no amateur mistakes, gets worse as he goes most days, scares bystanders, seems overfaced by 1.0 m, and (maybe) doesn’t even have a veterinary reason for any of it.

He may be an excellent horse for someone else, and there are other horses out there who can be excellent partners for you. It’s okay and right to sell one that isn’t working for you.

[DollyDoll]

Thank you, you’re right. I just, I do love him, he’s taught me to be stubborn and not give up, we’ve won championships together, but now that I think about it we do have the nickname “Fast and furious” at shows so that might be a sign (he’s get really excited at shows so whenever he’s in shows or knows it’s his turn to get into the course he has his ears pinned, while at home he’s always ears pricked forward which is weird considering we do better at shows than at home).

Thank you for your opinion, it really helps to hear what others think of the situation.

[TheDBYC]

How big is he? You described him as a.pony in the other thread, a horse in this one.

[DollyDoll]

In mexico we don’t quite have a pony division so honestly I don’t actually know how much a pony can be height wise but to me he’s always been a very small horse so we just called him a pony at the barn, devil pony if you knew him XD

[Jealoushe]

@DollyDoll

I’ve had him for two years and he’s never had any health issues and he has a vet and a chiro come check him every three months, gets his teeth checked and, if needed, done every three months as well.

I actually first got the horse and then got the saddle fitted to him so he isn’t in pain. I promise I thought that at first too but apparently according to the vets I’ve had see him he’s just like that

What has been done, exactly. Can you please lay it out for us, in detail what vet work up has been done?

I am assuming you mean;

teeth seen and treated by dentist (not just vet)
full lameness work up by the vet
X rays (body scan)
Scoped for ulcers
eyes checked

If not, then these are what need to be done to truly have your horse health checked by a vet.

[Jealoushe]

Upon reading your other thread I’m confused how a not great rider was able to ride this horse and planning on showing it cross rails?

Is what you have described here accurate? Video would be certainly helpful.

[rockonxox]

It doesn’t sound like he is the right horse for you. Very possible he is scaring you and you are in a sense scaring him (or making him anxious, irritated, etc) and both making each other less confident. Over time it won’t get better just by hoping and knowing he is a good horse underneath it all. It is creating a self fulfilling prophecy. He may be an awesomely athletic horse great for a pro (like your trainer) to ride which is why your trainer may really like him… but that doesn’t mean he is the best fit for you. There is nothing wrong with selling a horse that doesn’t give you confidence if you need a confidence builder, that is too much of a school master when you want an ultra competitive athlete to bring along the ranks, that is too whoa than go (and vice versa), etc etc. A horse that doesn’t match your goals, potentially sets you backwards in your goals and confidence levels, or who isn’t enjoyable to ride… it isn’t worth it! It is not doing you or your horse any favors to keep doing what you are doing. If you do decide to keep him sounds like a good candidate for trainer to work with while you lesson on a confidence builder before you go back to jumping your horse.

@DollyDoll

I know that sometimes when he refuses it is 100% my mistake but shouldn’t he at least forgive tiny mistakes?

On a side note… not necessarily. Not all horses “take a joke” and can handle rider mistakes. Some horses really need hand holding and a very confident ride all the time.

[DollyDoll]

We have two vets, a chiro, and a horse dentist (not sure what word you use in English) that check both my sisters horse and mine once every 3-4 months depending and they are always on call in case of an emergency. Once showing starts back up the chiro will visit us once every 1-2 months to help keep them in check and keep them feeling well and make sur they never get ridden without being 100%.

When we first got him he got full work done, x rays, a procedure were you check the stomach and the whole gastrointestinal tract (not sure the word in English for it and we did it because my moms mare died because of unchecked stomach ulcers that ended up chocking her and it was kind of traumatizing), got blood work, got his parents names and health history as well. So yeah, we got a lot of it pretty much checked

[DollyDoll]

Cross rails is nothing for him. At cross rails and anything lower than 90cm he doesn’t really pull or run or even get really excited. Also at a trot he never even gets a bit excited but when i did put my sister on him I put on a small piece of leather under his chin (not sure what its called in english) a “barbada” just in case he got over excited but he didn’t pull her once

[Jealoushe]

When was this? A scope for ulcers is only good for a few weeks as they can pop up anytime.

Vet checked but you didn’t mention if they did x rays. Did they x ray the horse anywhere? Back? neck? Hocks?

Did the teeth get X rayed too? The head?

This is what I mean, details are important. Only way to truly determine mouth issues is with an x ray of the entire mouth/head. Only way to truly determine if no issues is to x ray the entire horse.

Im not trying to be difficult but all these things need to be ruled out before the horses behavior can be blamed.

But again as I mentioned, your other thread doesn’t make this horse seem as difficult so it’s hard to say if there is truly a big issue here or it seems big to you because of your riding experience level.

[Jealoushe]

@DollyDoll

Cross rails is nothing for him. At cross rails and anything lower than 90cm he doesn’t really pull or run or even get really excited. Also at a trot he never even gets a bit excited but when i did put my sister on him I put on a small piece of leather under his chin (not sure what its called in english) a “barbada” just in case he got over excited but he didn’t pull her once

This makes me believe even more this is pain related. He doesn’t want to jump big jumps because it hurts. Rushing is a classic sign of this.

I would have the vet out to do a full work up if you really want to get to the bottom of it.

[DollyDoll]

Look, I understand your concern for my horses health but when I say he was checked by the vet HE WAS CHECKED BY THE VET. He’s literally so healthy, has never once had colic, and he just got his teeth examined and done last week. I did mention x rays, you can see there, and he was checked again this year because once a year my trainer likes to make sure all his students horses are a ok and 100%. His chiro is coming this week to check on him since the three months have passed. When I say this isn’t health related I do mean I have checked and checked for the last two years. So yeah, he is not in pain.

My other thread didn’t make him out to be a dificult horse because my other thread wasn’t about him I only commented about him like three times and only really highlighted the better moments. While yes I am not a professional its not like I just started riding last week

[DollyDoll]

Yeah, I can tell that the more unconfident I get the more he tends to misbehave, not sure if its because i’m scaring him or maybe he just takes advantage of my unconfidence and tries to get out of working.

Oh yeah, I totally remember I got to ride a horse for like a month that did not take a single mistake but somehow I was able to ride him, maybe because he needed more of a fast rider while my horse needs someone to slow him down.

[mika0116]

Hi it’s me who really loved the Dutch horse in your trying horses post (the first horse). Your current boy sounds exactly like a lease I had that really f*cked my confidence.

When things were good - we were impressive, but his intolerance of a slightly long distance made him a regular stopper. Sell him as a dressage horse or sell him full disclosure to someone who can give him the ride he wants. The similarities are so on point (rubber snaffle, runs to distances and you have to hold with leg and seat to get the perfect close or mid distance or you were going flying to the other side of the fence alone during a sharp stop).

I took me riding a different horse that could adjust herself somewhat to distance “for” me a few strides out or could jump from a variety of distances to realize that the entire equation was NOT me as a rider, but a combination of the horse’s emotional baggage AND mine. The mare I rode for a year or so after that horse did not refuse once, and we consistently jumped 25 - 30 cm higher than with the stopper.

Stop riding this horse, you will continue to develop fear and defensive habits that WILL prevent you from riding future horses properly. You are not a professional, your livelihood does not depending on riding ‘all horses amazingly’, you’re a competitive ammy who deserves to trust and have fun.

I’m a few years older than you, I think, but not old enough to not understand your emotional attachment to both the animal and your own frustration of ‘giving up’ or feeling ‘inadequate’ as a rider. You’re not giving up nor are you inadequate. You are moving towards a situation that is better for your emotional, physical, and mental health.

it is time to move on, girl, you can do it!

[mika0116]

I think as OP is from Mexico, she’s bilingual so there is some translation issues going on, despite OP having pretty excellent English. Animal in question is a small horse / hony. I know at least in Colombia & some other South American countries the term pony is used to refer to really any horse in the sub 15.3 range.

She mentions the animal rushing to make distances and being short of stride, so seems like a ‘hony’ thing.