What a lovely shot! I want to compliment you on your beautiful, correct, soft position. 
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I really love this idea!
I’ve just been reading and observing and thinking. I’m leaning towards just putting showing aside. I had one really great season, I hoped to get a few in but I could be very grateful with what I got. I had some excellent double clear rounds in a huge ring. I won a bit of money at some small shows. Had lots of fun in clinics.
Ultimately I’m very happy at my barn with the community and it might be that it’s not a 1.0m+ program. I do not have any delusions of grandeur. I think likely my best case scenario is a couple more (maybe one) summer at the 1.0m and then just enjoying the step down ride that I will have. I’m not sure it’s worth leaving my barn family for one or two show seasons. My trainer takes people leaving extremely personally and I don’t think I could leave on truly good enough terms where I could come back and play hunter in the 2’6” in a couple years. So then I would be “stuck” with a more competitive jumper program with an old man. I really enjoy clinics, and every time I do a roughly 1.0m section I’m in tue appropriate group and learn and have fun. And I’m not expected to jump in dry and jump 12 fences!
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I like this idea, but would rather see the emphasis be on going clear/double clear in a certain number of classes (like MERs in eventing) vs a win to move up. Especially in some of the lower jumper classes (thinking .8m-1.0) often slow double clear is someone I’d rather see go around a higher height than the turn and burn winner.
OP, I think if I were you I would schedule a sit down with your trainer and try to have one more conversation about it. You said your horse is 16 and your best case scenario is one or two more seasons at 1.0m. Your horse isn’t 24 - if he is truly comfortable at the height and sound and happy, and your goal isn’t 5+ more years of showing, I think it is completely reasonable to spend one more season focused on schooling and showing the 1.0m height.
Your trainer wants to save your horse’s legs, but for what? (And no, I don’t mean “you only want another year of showing so run him into the ground, it doesn’t matter if he’s sound after.”) I just mean that realistically, you’re already thinking about this horse having a significant reduction in workload in the next year or so. I think it is pretty reasonable to want to do a bit more at home at the 1.0m before that happens (again, assuming the issue you’re currently facing at the height are entirely rider error and not a horse starting to say he’s uncomfortable).
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If only we could ask him! 
I talked to a previous owner who had him from 9-10 or so and she said he’s always had a stop at combinations. The seller confirmed. But seems that height is lower than it once was. So it’s now in my head and I’m certain I’m telling him I’m not 100% sure we are jumping when the distance isn’t perfect. He just turned 17, so I suspect that there could also be some physical changes that are amplifying that. It’s probably worth another brass tacks kind of conversation with the trainer and bringing the vet in. Currently he gets adequan injections twice a year and regular massage so might be time to look into joint injections.
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Ah, that seems like another wrinkle then! Its very hard to be confident into a combination if you know your horse has a history with them, you aren’t schooling them at home, and you aren’t schooling the height at home.
At 2’9” you can jump in backwards and he doesn’t raise an eyebrow but when they go up…
He’s built kinda funny too, his neck is too long and places too high so it kinda makes sense to me that swinging that big old thing up and down through a one stride would be hard and potentially painful for him
Ok coming in from a different angle and some similarities and some big differences.
For me I would vote for the following resolution.
Get a different horse to ride and potentially compete. Your guy has a value and you could very likely find a swap situation with someone who wants to play at say 2’6" and won’t see an in and out that would bother him. They might have a horse that is too much for them while it might be the type to be loving going around a more challenging course.
We see LOTS of over faced riders and horses too. So why not take advantage of what he can do to help another type of rider and look for something that could be your remedy. Your horse isn’t a neon sign for “over faced” but likewise he’s saying something with the stops and it kind of sounds like that could still maybe benefit from some vet investigation. (There has been no mention of vet workups or resolutions to the stopping, but it’s possible that has happened and it just wasn’t included in this thread)
I have a slightly different vantage point about the future and progressions. I will be 53 in August. My horse is 17 this year. We have sailed through heights I had never imagined and because he is the right horse for me, it has all worked and allowed an older experienced rider to finally achieve success at higher levels than expected. As such, I think there are no right or wrong heights to take on as you get older. Your body, your horse and your comfort levels (combined) should be the determinations of what is the right arena and heights that you school or compete in.
I can sail over a 1.40m oxer with Cudo. In 2017, before I owned him, I was afraid of 3’6" oxers. The limits others are willing to place on you should be evaluated seriously by your own desires. Now, could I jump every horse over 1.40, probably not. Would I try on some and not on others… oh sure.
You aren’t dead, you like jumping, look outside of the box and find a way through. I don’t think you want to go lower. I am nearly positive that you don’t want to stop showing or jumping. This is a perfect moment to look inward and be honest with yourself about what you really want for yourself. Ignore the horse in this moment and just see what you want. Once you’re willing to own WHAT you actually want to do, then find a way in the universe to make it happen, or come closer to it.
Best of luck,
Emily
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Agree. Because sometimes you actually don’t want to win those classes.
On my inaugural return to the show ring, my coach said he didn’t want me to win the 85-cm classic, but about fourth would be good.
I’ve won some classes in the meters, but it’s generally been when skill can beat speed—tricky bending lines, lining up two jumps on a straight line instead of doing the bending line, etc.
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I certainly want to keep jumping up as long as I can, you and I did some lovely chatting when I was buying him. I’m brave and game but jumping big jumps well is my goal and showing isn’t necessarily my end goal (although it’s so fun). And he’s so so great. I don’t think the finances will allow a move. To get real, I had a cancer scare and decided “dammit if I’m gonna die in my 30s it better not be without having jumped around at 3’!!!” So I cashed out a 401k and bought the nicest/scopiest thing I could find with that budget. That’s what I mean when I say there is no plan B. No regrets, but can’t do that a second time.
We did just get a new saddle that hopefully will help. He liked it immediately and was so willing to stretch down and lift his back. The vet checked him when I was going through that but I wasn’t asking the “should we do injections” question at the time. It could be revisited.
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Yeah I don’t know that winning should be so important. My best round of my life I didn’t place because the class was like 35 people. But I jumped clear, had good pace and didn’t chip…so that should get me more points that beating someone who fell off (really I got grand champion in the 1.0m at a local show because there was only 2 in the division and the other rider fell off 
)
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Moreover I would look at his neck. Not because of the slant of my job…LOL. But based on your description above about how he’s built a bit funny. There could be arthritis or something there. Vets and Medicine have come a long way. I would ask for a workup with a stellar sports medicine clinician.
You could find the reasons and an outcome by investing in that.
Em
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Love the idea but a hunter he is not! He could do the eq for sure but he just goes very “up” and he just kinda canters jumps until they’re at least 3’ and his knees never square. Although, you could certainly have fun, he has a great lead change and on the flat he’s fancy. I have been thinking dressage, he started his career in dressage, he has stellar lateral movements and he loves to go in contact. You can super collect him or put his nose on the dirt
