Sigh...anyone want an elderly german shepherd with separation anxiety? UPDATE post 49

[To_the_MAX]

The reason my fiance took this job was because of this house. His salary and mine combined are NOT doable without this house. I don’t think it’s plausible for us to up and move so we can live in poverty and not be able to care for our 2 large dogs and 2 horses.
This dog was a family dog. The ONLY reason everyone calls him “mine” is because he attached himself to me when we brought him home. Not that it matters, but I think some people think I bought this dog and dumped it on my parents, then left, which is absolutely NOT true.
And I resent the person who said “I got rid of the dog I had for 10 years to get a new one”
UM no. Shepherd has lived there his whole life and has a good situation. It was understood between our family that I could not take him into our home because of his destructive tendencies. My mom NEVER indicated that the shepherd was in any danger of losing the home he had lived in for over 10 years. Until last night. I did NOT “get rid” of my shepherd to get the Dane.
Like I said in an earlier post - we have tried treatments for him. But, probably not as extensive as they could be because my parents honestly don’t want to spend so much effort/time/money on him. But, that being said, there was a long time (like a span of maybe 6 years) where he WAS good when left alone. We thought he was finally “over it” but now it has recently started again. And it’s sporadic. One day they can leave for 8 hours and he’ll be fine, then others (like last night) he’ll trash something. I’m sure it has to do with his age.

Kelliope - I’m not sure why my parents would be raising my disabled child, but I find the situations to be apples to oranges for many reasons, none of which I feel like writing a book about.

But, like I said, I knew what I was getting into when posting this thread.

Thank you everyone that had kind words/advice.

ETA: Like I said last night, hopefully her words were just said out of anger and I am calling her today to discuss sending him to get some sort of doggie prozac on my dime.

[hitchinmygetalong]

To The Max, it sounds to me like you have been seriously considering euthanasia and you might be looking for support.

I have a friend, a good friend, who, faced with having to give up her GSD when moving into a “seniors only” living arrangement, chose to put the dog down. The dog was in her early teens, the last of a long, long line of females she had bred since the 50’s. I’m sure it was a heartbreaking thing for her to do, but she was really boxed into a corner with zero viable options.

She loved this dog and she did what she felt was the kindest thing - to end her life in the arms of her owner, quietly, pain and anxiety free.

I do hope that another option opens up for this dog, but having him euthanized is not necessarily the worst thing that could happen to him.

Good luck.

[Beckham03]

I do feel your pain. I have an older dog with severe separation anxiety. I adopted her 4 years ago and was not informed of how severe her issues are. I was only told she could not be crated. She has destroyed thousands of dollars worth of stuff…eaten doors, holes in walls, gotten out of the house…you name it. Ironically, when you are home, she isn’t clingy? Someone moved away and left her tied to a tree. I have busted my butt trying to help this dog out…vets, behavior training, meds…it works sometimes, but our life revolves around setting her up and hoping she doesn’t eat the house. She is otherwise healthy and friendly. So I get it…it is fusterating and stressful and they can really destroy your house. When I am no longer able to control her and keep her happy, I will have to euth her. She cannot be rehomed, would not handle being in a rescue…and really, not many people can deal with it. She has tried to go through windows too. She is almost 11 and can create damage like you can’t imagine,

That said…if you want to try some things, here are some things that have helped:
Thundershirt
Kongs with frozen peanut butter when we leave only
No chew sprayed on places she will attack
Of course, exercise…mine just gets more fit and it stops working
She is on chlomiprimine is generice chlomicalm, so it is a $4 generic. She gets 75 mgs a day.
Diazepam makes these dogs worse, I keep Lorazepam around for days she is gets worked up…you have to calm the nervous system and bring them back down
Composure treats
(Keep in mind, dogs build up a tolerance to drugs 10 times faster then humans)
Noise on in the house-A neurologist at my work has created a calming cd called “Through a dogs ear.”
DAP plug-ins

Good luck…I know it is a rough situation.

[lovey1121]

Max, my sympathies to you, and kudos for knowing what you would be opening yourself up for and still posting for help in this difficult situation.

I would go for another try with meds, as others have suggested. If that doesn’t work, the most humane solution would be to euth him. Moving sounds totally out of the question financially (why is that so hard for people to understand??), and even if you could bring him to live with you, you work 8 hrs. a day—how could this possibly be a solution for a dog with AS??

I appreciate your honesty and your assumption of responsibility. I also feel bad for your mom-she is clearly at her wit’s end. Life isn’t always pretty, and sh^t happens. You just do the best you can.

[LauraKY]

Not to rain on your parade, OP, but I do wonder why, if you live in housing that prohibits pets, you would get ANOTHER dog. The shelters are full of dogs from homes that weren’t allowed to have pets…after the landlord cracked down.

[To_the_MAX]

[QUOTE=LauraKY;6068292]
Not to rain on your parade, OP, but I do wonder why, if you live in housing that prohibits pets, you would get ANOTHER dog. The shelters are full of dogs from homes that weren’t allowed to have pets…after the landlord cracked down.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, but I am not going to give any more details about the housing situation than I already have, but there is no danger of the Dane (or any of the other non-destructive dogs living in any of the other company housing) being booted.

[pezk]

This is a male dog, right? He’s walking and peeing because he has arthritis in his hip joint and it hurts to lift his leg. Maybe some of his anxiety is due to pain. Very common for a 11yr old shepherd to have artrithris in the hip joints. He needs to have a checkup. Even if you don’t like it, he is your dog. He attached himself to you and may be a one person dog. Not uncommon with shepherds and other breeds.
You, OP, may not like this but, I get so tired of reading about dogs or horses that because of medical issues or behavior issues or whatever are inconvienent to their owners. This is a throw away society, and if it’s not easy for us, or if it takes effort, we just throw them away so we won’t be bothered or feel guilty. Sad…

[gortmore]

How is he with other dogs?

I don’t think that walking and peeing is so much separation anxiety destruction, sounds like an old dog that had to go out to go pee and no one was home. I would switch him to a food for dogs with kidney issues, or something with lower protein. We just went through this with our 16 year old Manchester Terrier. If he is on a high protein dog food he seems to just have to go, right now, this very second. We switched to the Royal Canine (I think) German Shepherd food. No more having to go pee constantly. Our Manchester’s kidneys are starting to go.

Back to how he is with other dogs. We had one German Shepherd who had separation anxiety. Put him in a crate, he would pull the door in, get a full wire crate, destroyed the base and bent the bars in the 30 minutes we were out. But if he was loose but confined to a small area, like the kitchen with another dog, no problem he was fine. My parents had a dog with separation anxiety as well. Don’t flame me, but they put a muzzle on him for the first while when they had to go out as he would chew. After doing that for a number of months, they were able to start leaving him without the muzzle and he stopped destroying the house.

Maybe if he had a friend, another dog or a cat he would be better? Also leaving the radio or tv on when your parents go out. Or, can’t they just take him with them? Our dogs love going with us and are happy to sit in the car, and don’t destroy it. Just a thought. Having an older dog is tough but try to think of different things that may help him.

[In_The_Gate]

It’s not fair to judge until you’ve walked a mile in her shoes. I helped a good friend who had to make the same difficult decision with a severely fear aggressive young dog she rescued. She gave him 30 days to see improvement. Sadly, he was no better after a lot of effort and at the end was put to sleep because she could not keep him (too many other animals) and he was not adoptable.

OP, can you ask your mom to give you a month to try and fix the problem or find him a suitable home? In that month, both a vet and behaviorist evaluation are in order. If he’s no better in a month and a suitable home hasn’t been found you can put him to sleep then. Even if you end up putting him to sleep, you’ll feel better that you tried to help him one more time before making that decision.

[To_the_MAX]

Thanks In The Gate.
We are going to have the discussion about bringing him to the vet on my dime as soon as she calls me.

He has never lifted his leg to pee. Anyway, that’s irrelevant to the situation. He is destructive, whether he’s doing it on the move or not. He can make it 8-10 hours while people are present and went out twice before they left for 2 hours. It was NOT because he had to pee.

Oh, and PezK, you’re right, I didn’t like hearing that. Do you think if I wanted to “throw him away” I would have opened myself up on this thread like this? I didn’t use an alter and I’m being honest about my situation.
If I wanted to throw him away I would have driven him to a shelter or put him on craigslist or just told my mom “do whatever you want.”

[Susan_P]

Not that I understand why you would even try to move to a place where your dog was not accepted but you obviously will not change that for your dog to live.

So this is the next best option, Google German Shepherd Rescue. There are many organization just for rescuing specific breeds and they are willing to do whatever they have to do. Take some time for this loyal companion and find a rescue that can help.

Sad. :no:

@nashfad;6067956

Try contacting a German Shepherd rescue. Do not send him to a shelter–shame. Putting him down would be better. Where are you located–what city?

[To_the_MAX]

[QUOTE=Susan P;6068436]
Not that I understand why you would even try to move to a place where your dog was not accepted but you obviously will not change that for your dog to live.

So this is the next best option, Google German Shepherd Rescue. There are many organization just for rescuing specific breeds and they are willing to do whatever they have to do. Take some time for this loyal companion and find a rescue that can help.

Sad. :no:[/QUOTE]

Has been explained many times. Also, I’m not sure if you’ve read anything but the first post, but there is a plan to discuss other options with my mother.
But thanks for your valuable input.

[Kryswyn]

[QUOTE=kelliope;6068059]
Sorry for your situation, but I always find myself wondering what people would do if this was a child. If one had a special needs child, would they give that child up to please a fiancé? To find affordable housing? Would they adopt/have another child when they couldn’t manage the care of their current child? Would they move into housing that was adult only? Just a very sad situation for yet another dog who lives where he is hated (obviously not so jokingly) and will pay the ultimate price. Breaks my heart. Jingles for the GSD. I hope you find a solution for this sad dog who is obviously in severe distress.[/QUOTE]

This post points out brilliantly why, as much as we may love our dogs “like family”, consider them our “fur children”, there is still a huge difference between children and pets. You can euthanize an inconvenient pet; you be charged with murder if you do that to your child.

Personally, I’d euthanize an aged healthy pet rather than rehome him, or put him in a shelter. I wouldn’t feel bad because I know that a dog has no expectation of a long life. You may think they have years left to them. They have no such thought. The don’t go to sleep planning on how they’re going to run their next agility test, or look under a particular tree to find a squirrel. They just wake up the next morning and if the sun is shining, it’s a good day. They trust us to do what’s best for them. And, sadly, sometimes that is deciding what day will be their last.

[kelliope]

Yep, Kryswyn, it certainly is a disposable society to be sure. Just because you can euthanize an inconvenient pet, doesn’t mean one should. People make all sorts of excuses all the time to describe inconvenience (I am not referring to the op). I do agree that there are worse things than a humane death, one of which is living in a home where you are hated and your fears and anxieties misunderstood. I find the whole situation heartbreaking.

[vacation1]

[QUOTE=To the MAX;6067917]
Yes, I’ve been on this forum long enough; I knew what I was getting into when I posted this thread. But, there’s a difference between genuinely trying to be helpful, even if you don’t agree with the situation, and something that makes me feel even crappier. :no:[/QUOTE]

I don’t think this forum is particularly prone to pile-ons (well, usually) but it does seem to have a higher-than-average rate of people who don’t react with insta-sympathy. Your discussion of all the other factors were honest, but in a way seemed somewhat calculated to produce ((((hugs)))) and support. That’s what turned me off, more than any “hypocrisy” about getting a puppy, or debating euthanasia. If you’re going to make that choice, take the weight for it. Don’t look for other people to sweeten it by saying it’s not the worst thing that can happen to a dog. That’s one heck of a low bar to have.

And again, I’m probably coming across as a meanie. Sorry. I don’t really mean to be giving you a hard time so much as reminding you that you do have options.

[lolita1]

Hugs and all of that but really if the older dog after all of this time will not behave i.e. feels it is necessary to pee all over a new room then … I think you need to consider putting him down at that age you would assume his behaviour will not change. I don’t think your mother is being mean sometimes it just gets to that stage where it is nessary and age doesn’t really matter. We have had to put down young cats doing the same thing.

You shouldn’t feel guilty because you bought a new dog I personally don’t think that is the issue it really is your mom advising that the older dog needs to meet the big dog in the sky.

I do actually understand this having to basically convince my Dad to put down his dog that p’d and p’d and puked and puked all over the house … it was 16 but … not fun for Dad even though he “knew”.

BTW after reading the posts I still stand by what I said. Pets are not supposed to be an additional issue to your life. If that makes me a throw away person … forget it I buy pedigree animals that have the attitude bred into them that I am looking for only one that didn’t work out wasn’t Pedigree either way I will always give an animal a good death when it is necessary some times sooner rather than later.

[JanM]

I agree with Kryswyn. Rehoming an aged pet probably won’t be possible, and especially if he has bad separation anxiety, and pees indoors. If anyone on here that says rehome him wants to take him, guarantee an indoor, and forever home then that’s different (ain’t happening though, is it?).

A peaceful, humane death in a dog that is probably not happy since his world has changed so much, and that is apparently having increasing health problems is not the worst thing that could happen.

[To_the_MAX]

[QUOTE=vacation1;6069605]
I don’t think this forum is particularly prone to pile-ons (well, usually) but it does seem to have a higher-than-average rate of people who don’t react with insta-sympathy. Your discussion of all the other factors were honest, but in a way seemed somewhat calculated to produce ((((hugs)))) and support. That’s what turned me off, more than any “hypocrisy” about getting a puppy, or debating euthanasia. If you’re going to make that choice, take the weight for it. Don’t look for other people to sweeten it by saying it’s not the worst thing that can happen to a dog. That’s one heck of a low bar to have.

And again, I’m probably coming across as a meanie. Sorry. I don’t really mean to be giving you a hard time so much as reminding you that you do have options.[/QUOTE]

Hmm, OK, if that’s what you think, that I sat here calculating what was going to get me the most sympathy, then I can’t change your mind. Actually most people on this thread do not “agree” with what is happening but that didn’t stop them from putting aside their judgements and giving me some genuine advice.

Thank you everyone else who has posted with their comments.

Just to clarify one thing, and it’s not really important but I feel that I should: My mom does not treat this dog badly or with hatred. Yes, she was very mad at him Saturday night but this dog is not a dog that knows no love. In fact, up until now you could even say they were sort of buddies…he kept her company all day at home and they go on a nice walk every day at lunch, and he hangs out in the yard with my dad whenever he’s doing yardwork, etc.

[Wayside]

This may sound like a completely wacko idea, but the comparison to a child made me wonder - If your mother works from home, and your parents don’t go out all that often, could they (or you) hire a “babysitter” to keep the dog company while they go out?

I wouldn’t suggest that in a lot of situations, but as a pp mentioned, 11 is getting fairly old for a large dog, and maybe that would be a way for you to give him a few happy months or years before his age starts catching up to him.

[CrazyGuineaPigLady]

[QUOTE=To the MAX;6069724]
Thank you everyone else who has posted with their comments. [/QUOTE]

Everyone except vacation1? :lol: I’m not against euth in this situation but you sound a little immature and a lot impulsive.

Who was the main caregiver for the dog before you moved out? Did you not foresee he would be too much for your parents? Why did you get another dog instead of a security system if you felt unsafe in the new house? You said in the OP that your mother hated the original dog “from the beginning”. Why did you think that would be a good situation to leave him in?

I’d probably be giving you the hug and bouquet of flowers you crave if the dog were younger and had more options, but he doesn’t. Since you’ve been referring to him as “your dog”, you need to step up and make his last days or years pleasant.