Sigh...anyone want an elderly german shepherd with separation anxiety? UPDATE post 49

[To_the_MAX]

Here’s the short story because I’d be typing for years if I typed the whole thing out:

Adopted this dog from the Seeing Eye about 10.5 years ago, when I was still a kid.

I moved out in June to live with my fiance. We rent, and our place does not allow dogs. Strangely though, everyone else that lives in this company housing has them and no one seems to care. Our house is in the middle of nowhere and I feel very uncomfortable being home by myself without a large dog. However, my shepherd has grown up in our family’s home his whole life and is comfortable there. He’s never been anywhere else and gets very worked up when his routine changes. And, because of his separation anxiety, we couldn’t chance bringing him here and having him ruin something in the house, because technically we’re not supposed to have one at all. He’s mostly good at our family home - my mom works from home so is there most of the time. I think he would absolutely go crazy here - I work an 8 hr. day.
Here comes the hypocritical part: In September we acquired a great dane who is totally trustworthy in the house. She is a really wonderful dog. We would not have kept her if she showed even one ounce of destructive behavior.
My mother has hated my shepherd from the beginning. He’s wonderful when they’re home, just goes crazy when they leave.
Well, tonight was the last straw for her. He got downstairs into our finished basement and peed ALL OVER her white rug. And I mean he was actually walking around peeing. She called me screaming at me (last I checked it wasn’t me that did it…lol) and told me if I didn’t take him she was going to put him down. We really can’t have him here. I feel horrible because me telling her that was basically just sentencing him to his death.

But then I think, maybe it wouldn’t be horrible if he was put down while he’s still happy and in decent health.
Or maybe I should try contacting a rescue? Idk, somehow I doubt he would ever be adopted into a good home.
I just don’t know what to do…ugh.

Please don’t flame me over this post, I already feel crappy as it is. Anyone with reasonable suggestions please let me know.

[Sanely_Eccentric]

Check with Seeing Eye to see if they will take him back, assess him, and adopt him to an appropriate home. I know that Guide Dogs for the Blind will do that for all their dogs/pups that have been career-changed. It’s certainly worth checking out. Good luck.

[To_the_MAX]

[QUOTE=Sanely Eccentric;6067717]
Check with Seeing Eye to see if they will take him back, assess him, and adopt him to an appropriate home. I know that Guide Dogs for the Blind will do that for all their dogs/pups that have been career-changed. It’s certainly worth checking out. Good luck.[/QUOTE]

I will, but I don’t think they will do that. My mother called them within a year after we got him, I believe, and they have a certain amount of time they’ll take them back then after that you’re on your own.

[irkenequine]

Hmm.

Crating? Medication? Extensive exercise (long walks to wear him out)–at 11 he’s hardly going ot be ripping holes in the wood anymore. Peeing and walking isn’t behavioral in a dog that age as much as its just geriatrics and perhaps bladder stones or a UTI. Mom can’t raise Great Dane for a few years while you give your old man his last quiet year or two?

He’s never been anywhere else and gets very worked up when his routine changes.

I’m just going to be blatantly honest when I say, dogs at my shelter that come in like this generally starve themselves to death and have a VERY, VERY, VERY difficult time finding a new home. Unless you can find a private adoption that you can GUARANTEE his end and that he does NOT switch homes again between now and the end of his life, situations like this usually end with a dog rotting in a kennel until euthanasia. Thats not me being a jerk talking, thats just my experience working in a shelter the past few years.

I do hope Seeing Eye takes him back but the stress on him is going to be immeasurable. I really do hope you find a solution.

If it were me and my lifetime dog of 10 years had an option of living with a stranger and being euthanized in their arms or euthanizing early in mine, I’d selfishly pick the later although I’m sure there’s options in between. We say this all the time when owners attempt to turn in elderly dogs-- YOU have had that dog for a decade; you’ve loved it and cleaned up its poop and known his story. It will be VERY, VERY, VERY hard to find someone who loves him more than his family he knows and trusts. There are people out there–my first shelter adoptee was a geriatric. I don’t mean to belabor or flame but this is a situation with a viable solution if you’re willing to put in the miles for him.

[To_the_MAX]

Thank you.
You’d be surprised at the destruction.
Crating - chewed a hole in his METAL crate.
Medication - tried it, did not work.
Goes on a LONG daily walk with my mom.
Regularly have him checked for urinary problems, completely healthy. He is in great shape.
Mom will NOT take the Dane. Loves her but they are done with dogs, especially a massive one.
And like I said, can’t chance the shepherd destroying our house because it’s not ours.

I don’t want him to rot at a shelter. I am realistic that he will probably not get adopted.

Maybe it is for the best for him to be euthanized at home where he’s comfortable and happy.

ETA: I would have NEVER gotten the Dane if I had any inkling that my mom would not let our shepherd live his life at our house. It just wouldn’t have felt right. Honestly, she jokes about hating him all the time but I never knew she was THIS serious about it.

She is definitely using it to make me feel guilty - well you already have a dog at your house and you’re just going to let me put him down instead of taking him? My fiancee won’t allow it - and it’s his job that provides our house. :no:

[irkenequine]

Well I think at least before euth it would be worth revisiting the vet (since beforehand theyre going to have to do a general exam anyway) to have him palpated for bladder stones nad have a urinalysis run just in case. They are cheap solutions to his problem. In addition to that there are SO MANY EXCELLENT anti depressent and anti anxiety drugs available for dogs now; it wouldn’t hurt to TRY a 30 day supply or so before euthanising. What do you have to loose? If it gives him one more comfortable year.

I know people are generally skeptical about them but sometimes a different drug, time of day, or dosage size makes all the difference. And again if the alternative is death you’d be crazy not to, right?

I have luckily never dealt with separation anxiety. My dogs come to work with me and stay busy busy and tired; when I’ve fostered dogs who are SA in the past they tend to just fall into the routine with mine and forget theyre supposed to be stressed. Thankfully I’ve got multiple dogs so when one goes, the other two will help keep a new addition balanced…I would not want to live with it for 11 years. I have a friend who’s dog has twice gone through a plate glass window; the ONLY thing that fixed it was Prozac.

[To_the_MAX]

Thanks again, maybe I will offer to pay for a vet visit and trial of a different anti-depressant (can’t remember which one we tried). Maybe parents will be more interested in trying to make it work if they don’t have to spend any money on him.

[irkenequine]

Sure. I really do wish you the best and hope you come to the best solution for your boy.

[vacation1]

Euthanizing him is not a solution - it doesn’t solve the problem, it just removes it, like burning down a house that has a squeaky door. A real solution involves everyone making accomodations. Your mom’s already made hers and she’s clearly maxed out. While I’m not a fan of her “take him or I’ll kill him” threat, you have to respect that it’s not her dog. The dog will survive a change in his routine if you bring him home. Your company housing which doesn’t allow dogs but kinda does will survive your dog. Your engagement will survive the hassle and stress and expense of transitioning him to the new arrangement.

I know, easy to say, hard to do. But it’s your dog, and he’s not that old or in that bad a shape that it’s in any way respectable to euthanize him now, especially if you start claiming you had no choice. You do have choices here. For example, you could move out of your fiance’s house which doesn’t allow dogs. I know, again, easy to say, hard to do. But should that really be a harder choice than euthanizing a healthy dog that you’ve had for 10 years?

[To_the_MAX]

In all honesty I was not the one that wanted him. My father did. He attached himself to me, though. But no matter. I suppose that makes him my dog.

Not an option to move out of this house and not an option to have him here.

Thank you again irkenequine and sanelyeccentric for your understanding of my difficult situation and your true desire to help, not judge.

[irkenequine]

To be clear with all respect–I do think the options you are giving this dog are unfair, but my personal opinion is unproductive. I agree with vacation’s point but feel euthanasia is a WAY better option than a shelter if those were the only cards we’re drawing from.

Still, there’s a life here waiting around in the wings and berating you don’t help him find an answer to making his quality of life the best possible.

[To_the_MAX]

Yes, I’ve been on this forum long enough; I knew what I was getting into when I posted this thread. But, there’s a difference between genuinely trying to be helpful, even if you don’t agree with the situation, and something that makes me feel even crappier. :no:

If it were an option to take the shepherd I’d do it in a heart beat. As crazy as he is, I do love him. But, I can’t quit my job just to move so I have a place for him to stay. Then we’d both be starving and my horses would be too. As it is I couldn’t afford any where to live on my salary. But, I digress.

I’m looking forward to talking with my mom tomorrow about getting him to the vet on my dime. Hopefully her words were just in anger, but I was scared, which is why I posted.

[libgrrl]

Just want to second that this dog would not do well in a shelter situation.

However, you are (if you are in Central PA) not all that far from one of the best behavioral medical clinics in the country at UPenn ( http://www.vet.upenn.edu/RyanVHUPforSmallAnimalPatients/SpecialtyCareServices/BehavioralMedicine/tabid/431/Default.aspx ). Dr. Karen Overall is at Penn, and is probably the expert in behavioral medicine. In my opinion, if you care about this dog at all, it is worth setting up an evaluation. Otherwise, I would do the kind thing and put him down.

[nashfad]

german shepherd

Try contacting a German Shepherd rescue. Do not send him to a shelter–shame. Putting him down would be better. Where are you located–what city?

[To_the_MAX]

Just to be clear - Nowhere did I say I was going to EVER consider dropping him at a shelter.
The dog is in NJ.

[jetsmom]

Why isn’t moving with Fiance to a pet friendly place possible? I personally couldn’t get rid of a dog that I had for 10 yrs because I got a new dog, and don’t want to deal with treating SA. Or rehome the more adoptable Great Dane, keep the GSD and treat the SA, and get a new dog after the old one passes away. Try meds, a Thundershirt, and SA desensitisation (google “I’ll be home soon”).

I once bought a house, in order to have a place for my 3 dogs and 2 cats, when the place I was living told me they were going to go to a “2 Pet” policy. It was a cheap house needing lots of updating (because I was at a job not making much money), but I kept my pets. So maybe I look at pet ownership a little differently, and think of it as a lifetime comittment, but I think getting rid of an old dog and getting a new dog isn’t very nice. Not everyone thinks that way apparently, based on the number of dumped dogs in shelters and rescues.

Letting an old dog sit in a cage at a rescue is cruel. Euth would be better than that.

[KarrotKreek]

Anxiety is a tough issue with no quick fix. I guess my concern is that you’ve had 10 years to deal with and correct the behavior but have let it continue on and now want someone else to pick up the pieces. Or at least it seems that is the case since your family originally tried to return the dog a year after getting it, so I’m assuming there have been behavior issues all along.

I had acquired a dog with extreme separation anxiety. Fixing the problem took time… lots of it and there weren’t any short cuts. I honestly don’t know how effective behavioral training would be after 10 years of this going on. But for you or whoever ends up with this GSD here are some tips to try.

Get a 2way baby monitor that you can hear and talk through. Even better if it has video. Start by crating the dog in a room separate from household activity. Leave the room for a duration of time and then return. The idea is to lengthen this time longer and longer. Ideally you return just prior or at the point that minor stress signs are exhibited. Then progress to just talking over the intercom when mild stress is shown and make actual physical appearances less frequent. When you have to leave the house, the dog goes too. In a crate in the car, with baby monitor or walkie talkies… same principle as at home. The process takes time. It’s not a straight shot deal. The sessions should be short and normal routines resumed when the dog is calm.

Possibly… If the dog is moved to a new home, and at the first sign of separation anxiety is exhibited this is managed, it may be a quicker process than if the dog stays where it’s at. But it’s a lot to put an old dog through. There is a chance that the GSD and great dane would bond and the separation anxiety would be lessened.

[fourmares]

I think that the best option for the dog is to put him down. Your parents house was a good place for him since your mom works from home, but the dog is basically holding your parents hostage in their house. It sounds like they can’t even go out for an evening without the dog trashing the house. Obviously you can’t take him and it would be nearly impossible to find him a new home and traumatic for him to change families at his age. If you’ve had him for 10.5 years, that makes him at least 11. (I assume he flunked out of seeing eye dog school). He is old for a large dog. I think it’s o.k. to put him down if that’s what needs to be done.

[kelliope]

Sorry for your situation, but I always find myself wondering what people would do if this was a child. If one had a special needs child, would they give that child up to please a fiancé? To find affordable housing? Would they adopt/have another child when they couldn’t manage the care of their current child? Would they move into housing that was adult only? Just a very sad situation for yet another dog who lives where he is hated (obviously not so jokingly) and will pay the ultimate price. Breaks my heart. Jingles for the GSD. I hope you find a solution for this sad dog who is obviously in severe distress.

[Polydor]

Been in the same situation as you so won’t be beating you up at all. Hope something works out for the best for everyone.

Hugs and Jingles.

P.