Single horse at home after her buddy crossed the rainbow bridge today...WWYD

[ArabDiva]

Had to put my 22 YO mare down today after a very sudden and pretty violent bout of colic. Needless to say I’m dazed and heartbroken.

Now my other horse is home alone. Her pasture abuts the neighbor’s pasture, so she can at least rub noses and make faces at their horses.

She seems confused and out of sorts. Lots of pacing in her paddock right now. Will she adjust?

I have the option to move her to my trainer’s facility if I want. I just can’t get over the idea of not having horses living in my barn for the first time since I built it in 2007.

Thoughts, ideas, and hugs welcome.

[GoForAGallop]

She will adjust, since she has buddies at your neighbors. She is out of sorts because she is missing her friend.

If she continues to worry herself sick, you might need to look into a companion (or borrowing a horse from the neighbor!), but for now just let her figure things out on her own terms for a few days.

[bathsheba8542]

Sorry to hear about your mare…how about rescuing a mini-donkey? Low maintenance, full of joy, and great watch ‘dogs’!

[PlanB]

Sorry for your loss!

I don’t like keeping one horse alone, so if I were in your shoes, I would be calling around to see if I could “borrow” a horse until I find a suitable replacement.

Watching your mare be upset/confused/worried is just going to upset you even more. It’s great that she can visit with the neighbour’s horses over the fence a little bit, but it’s not the same as having a buddy.

[Bluey]

Sorry you lost your mare, that is always so hard.

I don’t like having a horse alone, but if a horse is fine alone, I let it be and try not to worry about it.
It is about the horses after all, but since your horse has horses across the fence, it is not alone, really.

I would give you both a few days to settle before making any long term decisions.

[emipou]

Aww. So sorry for your loss. It always breaks my heart to see the other animals grieving over their loss.

I don’t think I have much better advice to offer than what’s already been said.

[Emilia]

These moments are always very difficult. I am sorry, you have to deal with them now.

Give yourself time to decide.

With your neighbor’s horses, I would agree with GFAG, it might be enough, once your mare comes to terms with her new situation.

If not, you can do a short term board with your trainer, which can “buy” you more time to think about, whether you want another animal and the life that comes with keeping horses at home.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with bringing “a new kid on the block” soon. We will enable you the best we know how. :yes:

My friend lost an animal short time ago and, a couple of days later, another one arrived. Through the equestrian grape vine, it became immediately known, there was an opening in the pasture. One of her friends called with this I-am-sorry-and-here-I-know-this-animal-do-you-want-him and that was it.

I know, however, this person wants the lifestyle 100%, hence her quick decision.

Anyway, I would be surprised, if your friends did not start to alert you about new candidates soon.

Naturally, my ideas generally revolve around minis. So, I would recommend a mini horse or donkey any time. Nobody knows better, how to mend a broken heart than a little fuzzy ball commanded by a willful, mischievous brain.

ETA: Personally, I am firmly in a camp two is a minimum, three is better (for small backyard place). A mini counts as one. I do understand, it is not always an option.

[ArabDiva]

Thank you all for the advice and kind words.

Going to take it one day at a time and see where we land.

I do kind of hope a new horse finds me to take her place. Maybe full-size, maybe a mini.

The lifestyle part of the equation is an interesting one. I’m a busy professional, early in my career, and in some ways, not having to manage the farm (or rather, only having the chickens) would be a blessing. Financially, it would be a wash (or boarding might even be cheaper). On the other hand, the farm does bring a lot of joy and sanity to my life – no matter what, every morning and evening, the animals gotta get taken care of. It helps me keep a sustainable pace.

For now, taking deep breaths and making sure remaining Horsey isn’t a danger to herself. See what happens, then decide accordingly.

I miss my old girl so much…been crying since 9:30 AM when the vet delivered his prognosis.

[RMJacobs]

So sorry for your loss.

I had a similar situation in November, except at least I knew it was coming–had to put down my 30-something year old mare.

I never would have thought my one remaining pony would have liked to be alone, and I had several options in the wings if he couldn’t handle it (temporary loaner friends, and put him into a boarding situation for a more permanent resolution). Well, it turns out my pony actually likes being alone. So I got lucky.

I agree with your wait and see approach. I hope it all works out well for you.

Rebecca

[shea_smom]

Hugs.

[furlong47]

You could also consider fostering a rescue horse

[cloudy18]

I’m sorry. No other advice to add, everyone else took care of anything I had to say.

[ArabDiva]

[QUOTE=RMJacobs;8018746]
So sorry for your loss.

I never would have thought my one remaining pony would have liked to be alone, and I had several options in the wings if he couldn’t handle it (temporary loaner friends, and put him into a boarding situation for a more permanent resolution). Well, it turns out my pony actually likes being alone. So I got lucky.

I agree with your wait and see approach. I hope it all works out well for you.

Rebecca[/QUOTE]

This is helpful. So far, she seems to be adjusting OK.

@shea'smom;8018753

Hugs.

@cloudy18;8018779

I’m sorry. No other advice to add, everyone else took care of anything I had to say.

Thank you all for the kind words. It means so much.

I’ve already had a couple of offers from people in my life – my trainer has a 2-year-old I could “borrow”, as well as a retiree/husband horse. Strongly considering those options. A neighbor has 6 horses, including one recent rescue, so there’s options there too.

[Superminion]

Adding my hugs to the pile. I’m so so sorry for your loss!

I second the poster who suggested a mini-donk. We have three here at work. Two are companions for retirees and one ‘baby-sits’ the weanlings/yearlings. They are super easy keepers and I love them to pieces. All three were free, to my best understanding.

Plus you’ll never forget when it’s time to eat with all that braying.

[js]

Maybe now would be a good time to board your horse. No reason not to keep the farm but if you are a busy professional and not inclined to take on another horse, why not try boarding for a while and see how your horse and you adjust to it. Otherwise I would see if someone is looking for possible retirement situation for a horse. I wouldn’t recommend fostering if there is a chance the foster horse(s) would come and go, once again leaving your horse alone.

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=js;8019904]
Maybe now would be a good time to board your horse. No reason not to keep the farm but if you are a busy professional and not inclined to take on another horse, why not try boarding for a while and see how your horse and you adjust to it. Otherwise I would see if someone is looking for possible retirement situation for a horse. I wouldn’t recommend fostering if there is a chance the foster horse(s) would come and go, once again leaving your horse alone.[/QUOTE]

Some fostering groups may leave you with the foster horse, don’t want it back.
Vet any such carefully and be sure to have a contract with them with all particulars you agree to, who will pay for what, time line, what if you want to adopt it yourself, any and all you may think could come up.

I still don’t think your horse needs any companion, with horses across the fence already and since you don’t need another horse either.

Boarding would be good for a bit, so you get to see how that works in your current so busy life.

[js]

[QUOTE=Bluey;8020245]
Some fostering groups may leave you with the foster horse, don’t want it back…[/QUOTE]

Technically wouldn’t that be adopting? Just nit picking since you nit picked my suggestions.

[Heinz_57]

[QUOTE=js;8020744]
Technically wouldn’t that be adopting? Just nit picking since you nit picked my suggestions. ;-)[/QUOTE]

Not really, more of a ‘we don’t want it back but it’s still ours’ scenario.

OP, my horse has lived alone for the better part of a year now - and was alone previously for a year or two. There are horses next door that he can see and he’s never been especially social, so I’ve not worried about it. Besides that, he is considerably more expensive to maintain and that inhibits my ability to support a second, purpose-less horse. He did have a mini-buddy for a while that he was fond of, but it was too much difficulty dealing with herd bound issues when I needed to pull one of them out and it caused a lot of stress on me during feeding time, trying to manage the two completely opposite needs - one slow-eating hard keeper and one super easy keeper. I’d give her a chance alone before committing to another animal.

[LauraKY]

[QUOTE=RMJacobs;8018746]
So sorry for your loss.

I had a similar situation in November, except at least I knew it was coming–had to put down my 30-something year old mare.

I never would have thought my one remaining pony would have liked to be alone, and I had several options in the wings if he couldn’t handle it (temporary loaner friends, and put him into a boarding situation for a more permanent resolution). Well, it turns out my pony actually likes being alone. So I got lucky.

I agree with your wait and see approach. I hope it all works out well for you.

Rebecca[/QUOTE]

That’s what happened with mine. He was always worried about what the other horses were doing. We do have horses behind and across the road. He’s even fine in the barn alone. Never would have guessed.