So much time, money and effort...for what?

[sweetsalute]

I am feeling very burnt out with horses (and life in general tbh) at the moment. We’ve had horrific weather all year, I’ve barely ridden and have spent most of my time trudging through mud, cleaning off mud and treating mud induced ailments. We’ve had so much rain even the areas that usually cope well and stay relatively dry are beyond saturated.

I have two horses. One I’ve had for 13 years and is now in her early twenties. She is everything to me, but unsurprisingly as she gets older, she has more little issues crop up and while I’m still riding her, I’m sitting here waiting for the day I can’t anymore.

The second is a 5yo TB cross mare who came to me unbroken. She is very sweet and generally fairly sensible, but I just feel like we are making zero progress. Between weather, the odd injury and life getting in the way, I never seem to be able to keep her in work for more than a couple weeks at a time. My arena is half the size of a standard dressage arena and is grass, so the footing isn’t the best. I have nowhere else to ride except up the streets, which I’m not confident doing on her yet.

I was ok with our slow progress and lack of any real canter, because I was waiting for my trailer to be built which would enable us to get out to better arenas etc. I got the trailer, as per another thread in here, 5yo has major trailering issues and now we’re still stuck at home trying to work on that.

I just feel so down and demoralised. I want to have fun with my horses and I can’t remember the last time I came home feeling like I’d enjoyed myself. I know the weather is a big factor but I’m in half a mind to sell the 5yo…which I can’t even really think about until she trailers!

I’m quite sure there are plenty of people on here who can relate! Did it get better for you? Did you decide to sell and take a break?

[BrendaJane]

I have nothing of value to add, just wanted to give you a virtual {{{hug}}}

[atr]

This never-ending “Sprinter” weather is just soul-sucking. Just as you feel you can start to make progress, it’s cold and wet and windy again, and just not weather for getting stuff done.

The not trailering thing is a giant PITA. If I were you, I’d focus solely on that aspect for now, because everything else hinges on it. Get some serious focused help. Every area has a couple of trailering gurus (and a couple who think they are but just make things worse, so do your homework and end up with the right one.) Someone will be more than happy to come help you and show you how. Don’t keep banging away at it on your own. That can be very dispiriting,

Once you’ve got that problem solved, you’ll be in a better place to make a decision about whether to keep or sell the 5 year-old, because you’ll know her better, and have learned whether you actually really do like her or feel that you would both be better off divorced.

The sun will come out eventually and we will remember why we do this…

[sweetsalute]

We were making some good progress on the trailering, she’s loading fairly well now and our last session she did really well with learning to accept the bum bar. Haven’t been able to do any for a few weeks now because well…rain Once the trailering is sorted, regardless of whether I’m keeping or selling, I think I may have to scrounge up some $$ and send her off for some bootcamp.

I think part of the problem too, is I’ve had the old girl for so long. We’ve been through alot together, and know each other back to front. I trust her implicitly, I can take her anywhere and do anything and never ever be worried about how she might react to anything. So one can’t help but compare, and the older she gets, I guess the more I realise how much I desperately wish she could live/be ridden forever!

[fivestrideline]

Woof I’m feeling this right now. Are you me??

I’m also having trailering issues with my (chronically NQR and currently lame) horse, and we have been working on it, but there’s always a tiny setback and we are back to square one. Almost got stranded at another barn yesterday when I failed to make sure my helper understood to hold his head when I sent him on, and he turned around in my 2H straight load. He almost jumped out over the ramp so I had to drop it and let him off, so that’s a trick he has in his book now . I’m probably going to have to shell out for a trailering guru (but I am scared to pick the wrong one).

My previous, now gone, jumper was Mr Reliable. Always game for anything, sound as a bell, let me stuff his 16.3 draft cross self into a tiny stock trailer in a pinch and forgave me for it. I’ve poured more money into my current horse chasing his lamenesses than I did showing every other week on my jumper. I’m exhausted, broke, and burning out faster than I care to admit. I won’t sell this horse or give him away (like I said he’s currently lame, and yes I’m chasing that with vet and farrier, but I doubt he’s gonna jump ever again).

Not that my story is helpful, but I’m definitely right there with you. Jingles for trailering success and clearer weather and mind!

[cmdrcltr]

I can totally relate. A couple of years ago I sold the horse I’d had for almost 10 years and started a search for my next mount. I was spending more than I had ever spent (still not enough), and I was determined that this time I would get a horse that knew more than me. Instead I spent all last year miserable because the horse I bought turned out to need way more work than I thought or wanted to have to deal with. I almost gave up and sold her several times because I just wanted to be able to relax and ride.

I did hang in there, and things are starting to come together. I had to learn to really enjoy the process and to celebrate small gains. I can’t tell you what to do or say for certain that that will happen to you, but it might.

I can’t help with the weather, but I can say I’m sorry you are having to deal with that.

[anon40672407]

There’s a gal at my barn who found her lovely horse on a vacation in Europe, and had him imported to the states (which cost a pretty penny I’m sure!) only to find he has some kind of pinched nerve thing that sets him off so he can’t be ridden now, plus she has developed her own health problem.

My first thought about her was “How terrible!” and I’m sure it was.

But she decided not to be deterred, and has instead decided to train him to do (unmounted) tricks. I watched them the other day and I could see the palpable link between her and the horse: He was concentrating so hard on her every move trying to figure out what she wanted. It was amazing. And I thought, “I guess he really was her “heart” horse” which is a phrase I always take with a grain of salt because I’m not into romanticizing this stuff.

The point of the story is merely that horses often hand us lemons. Time limited lemons perhaps, sometimes permanent lemons. Hard to know.

But what we choose to do with them matters. It is very tough that horses often do not share our goals. Hugs to you.

[rhershock]

"But what we choose to do with them matters. It is very tough that horses often do not share our goals. "

This really resonated with me. I have a 13 year old gelding who had a terrible start under saddle later in his life and it’s been a real slog for the last 4 years or so getting him through issues and getting him ridable. He is basically unrideable at shows or in big atmosphere environments and I really had my hopes on showing him in the jumpers or eventing. I have had to re-evaluate why I am even riding horses which is sad considering Ive been riding for a long time (~30 years).

I think being able to see him for what he is and accept that he has some issues that we may never work through, similar to your story here with the lady doing unmounted tricks, has helped him to actually excel under saddle and become the fun, broke 13 year old I wanted when I bought him at 8.

Now do I think this fun, broke 13 year old could be that fun horse at a show? Probably not. Could I work with a trainer to fix that? Sure, but I also think I am good with just enjoying what he offers me at our home barn in an escape from my work life.

[sherian]

you are so not alone - between the winter from hell followed by flooding, sky rocketing feed and fuel costs, more and more hoops to jump thru to actually show, and crazy people in the local horse community I have seriously thought about giving up. But the weather is improving so I might just hang on and do my own thing at home and avoid the fruitbats - at least the flooding is doing a great job of rejuvenating my pastures after the last few years of drought.

[sweetsalute]

Thank you all, I’m glad I’m not the only one and also hope everyone else struggling is able to work through it.

I went through something not dissimilar with my old girl many years ago, she wasn’t the easiest under saddle and there was alot of blood, sweat and tears. I do think the 5yo has potential to be a very nice horse. I had hoped to event/jump her as I never got to do that with the older one, but I’m not sure she’s got the athleticism or enthusiasm for it…perhaps she will end up surprising me!

Ultimately what I want is another solid, dependable horse. I want to do the odd low level show when I feel like it, and be able to go out exploring trails without worrying about whether I’ll get hurt!

The sun has FINALLY come out for the first time all month so perhaps we can look at getting back to something other than swapping soaked blankets and cleaning off mud.

[sweetsalute]

I have now spent the last half hour or so bawling my eyes out. The old girl’s eye (ulcer two months ago, healed and then there’s been a couple unexplained squinty weepy episodes since) looks the worst it has, totally closed, she won’t open it and for the first time is clearly super uncomfortable.

Vet is coming out in the morning but last time they said if it keeps happening we’re probably looking at a recurring uveitis and there’s very limited treatment. I’m beside myself with worry, this horse means absolutely everything to me

[Old_Mac_Donald]

Enucleation of one eye is relatively simple, if this is an option. Don’t be afraid to go down that path if it is something you can look at. No pun intended.

[Old_Mac_Donald]

Oh! I see you live in QLD! Me too! Are you in SEQ? I’m guessing so from the rain. Chin up, dry weather is coming.

[sweetsalute]

Yes, SEQ, just outside Brisbane. I worry how this horse would cope with losing sight on one side. I know many adjust just fine, I’m not sure if she would be one.

We do have an excellent vet hospital in our area, and one vet has been treating her for many many years so I hope they can find answers. The university hospital is under two hours away if necessary too. Costs have already mounted to $1600 on the ulcer.

[RedHorses]

I feel for you, @sweetsalute. I too am struggling with two horses and, well, feeling like I’m not doing any part of my life decently at the moment. Work is probably getting my best effort - which makes me angry because it’s not what I want to do or enjoy doing, and the company culture isn’t good.

Younger horse has ulcers and some associated behavioural issues, and I’m struggling to ride him twice a week - which isn’t enough if we’re going to do a 50 mile Endurance ride in September. My older horse has been lame since January for various reasons - currently unknown cause. I spent a ton of money on a Bemer horse set to see if it would help his heaves, and while it does seem to be making a difference sometimes I feel like all I do is go out, groom off the mud, and put the Bemer on him. I feel like I’m wasting one of our last years together.

My truck needs some work before I start going places. It’s got an appointment on Thursday, but the storm that ripped through the area on the weekend knocked out power all over the city, including the service shop. I’m hoping they’ll get power back today. The car is supposed to go in on Friday.

I felt the depression weight land on me last week so I know it’s not that bad. I’m putting one foot in front of the other and looking for the sunshine.

[reefy]

Oh, there’s a lot of us feeling this way!! I’ve had 2 weekend vet emergencies over the past 2 weekends. Nothing catastrophic but one is an eye ulcer (very small, thank goodness, like so small - my old gelding had 4 over the years and they were HUGE, so feeling lucky we got it so early). We all know how much fun it is treating eyes (said nobody EVER). I am so terribly thankful for the horse I have - a year into stall rest that should come to an end this summer, and she has handled it brilliantly and sanely. She stands for her eye meds, I literally pinch myself that this is my horse (unlike the gelding and his went on for weeks and weeks)!!! So one bright light.

Work is a drag - it is so hard to schedule time away and then add in aged parents that are needing more care but have grown roots in their house and won’t consider leaving it.

It’s a lot. If either of my siblings come visit this summer, I’m going to go incognito and pretend I’m an orphan. I’ll forgo visiting with them to get a break cause I need one. I’m hanging on but some days it seems it’s just barely.

[sweetsalute]

Unsure why it didn’t show up on the stain two weeks ago, but confirmed it is indeed the same ulcer back (it scarred a little hence knowing its the same one). Trying the same treatment again, and if that doesn’t work not sure what the next steps are. I know it’s not the worst news, but it is SO draining having to treat the eye 4x or more a day. I live 20 mins away, and she is on my dad’s property so no barn with staff to help. Dad could help, except he is on a road trip around the state. No one else but me. Boyfriend has a less flexible job and probably wouldn’t even be able to put a halter on right so he’s not much use. I am lucky I work from home with flexible hours but regardless, it really takes over life and nothing else can happen or get done.

The sun FINALLY came out. And I can’t ride now anyway. At least, not the horse who is the fun ride, that I can actually take places. So goddamn frustrating.

[chestnutmarebeware]

I understand the frustration, but unfortunately when the wheel of fortune gets stuck on the losing position, you either have to live with it until your luck improves, or try to force the issue by making some big changes.

For me, I’ve had ponies and horses almost continually since I was 9 and never had any real issues with any of them.

Now I have three that all became unrideable for various medical reasons at young ages (and unsellable). So I’ve been supporting them as pasture puffs on full board for the past 12 years, and can’t afford a fourth horse to actually ride. But that’s horses. Everything’s great until it’s your turn for bad luck.

I hope things get better for you soon. It sounds like your issues aren’t permanent, so there’s plenty of opportunities for the situation to improve.

[sweetsalute]

This old pony usually goes through life as the most easy maintenance horse ever. Needs no extra feeding, almost never injures herself at all etc. But…when she does need the vet, she does a bloody good job of it and it usually ends up expensive!

I think it should be dry enough to lunge 5yo tomorrow, we had a good trailer loading session today. If I can lunge tomorrow, I can ride Saturday. Forecast is finally for a week of sun, even if it is going to be cold (for here anyway). It would be nice if the mud on at least all the thoroughfare areas would dry up! My arena is grass and sections are almost a foot tall…but we’re still at “the ride on will get bogged getting it out of the shed” stage. My poor farrier got bogged last week and I had to pull him out.