So sorry, Musical Jumper....

[suzy]

All I am suggesting is that people do something that CAN make a difference. “Beating up” on MJ (whatever the real circumstances may be) has absolutely no value. Donating to a cause in which living but suffering horses are being helped has a great deal of value.

Very simply, I prefer to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

P.S. In the case of Pakistan/Afghanistan, money IS the solution. These people are destitute and no amount of horse care knowledge is going to benefit these people if they don’t also have feed, water, and medical supplies for their animals. In this very specific instance, money is key.

[KellyS]

Thank you, Touche

I am crying reading this thread.

[In_The_Gate]

sorry, I wasn’t planning on writing anyway, however other people may.

Valerie
~VWiles02@yahoo.com~
Valerie’s home page

[jl1]

to hear about your loss.
It’s always devastating to lose a companion.
At least you know thatyou did the right thing by your horse at the end

[Natty_Dread]

Oh god, I am sooo sorry…I never meant this to lead to all of this. While I agree with practically everything posted I have to say that it just really bothered me. I still cannot get over the fact that he was only 5. Okay, its over, the end, caput, but once you post it on a bulletin board for all to see it becomes public. We have been dragged along from the start and for it to end this way just seems, oh I dunno…off somehow. I don’t think, even as the addict I am for this BB, I could bring a subject up such as this. Things happen with horses all the time…we are all well aware of this. The thing I have a problem with most is leaving a child with all this responsibility alone. I could never make a conciensious decision on my own at that tender of an age. Pity the child who does. It just seemed as though she had been posting so often. She was on a ton of threads. And I just felt like I/we were left hanging. While I don’t readily, as a lifelong horse owner, except her reasons/answers if that is all we get then that is all we get. I am not so certain I will become involved again however.

[AAJumper]

I am one of those who was very suspicious about all these events as well. I had many conversations with my cyberfriends regarding this matter. I was even considering offering to send a blanket, but others did so first. I have been following all the posts from M_J for a long time. And what I see here is major DENIAL on her part. I understand that bad things can happen out of ignorance. But we hopefully realize where we went wrong and make an effort never to make that mistake again. I don’t see that effort here.

I see no attempt by M_J to internalize what has happened, and to learn from those mistakes. This has been a long time coming…I remember a time when her father wanted her to sell or give the horse away because she was unable to care for it. She was insistant that she not give up on the horse because she thought he was talented. Many people on this BB gave her advice which she blantantly ignored and argued about, constantly dismissing suggestions and twisting the story.

What I see here is a 16-year old girl with some obvious emotional problems who was ignorant or somehow blind to what was going on (and I can’t fathom how that is possible, giving the state he was in). However, that is no excuse for what has happened. It is sickening. What is even more sickening is the fact that she won’t even ADMIT to ANY wrongdoing. From what she has said on the board, she holds her herself totally blameless…that she did EVERYTHING she could. She’s so far in denial that she won’t even learn from this, because she has chosen not to internalize any of this, and has comforted herself with visions of the horse cantering in the clouds. THIS is what I find so infuriating.

And Natty, I agree with you 100%. I did not get the impression anywhere on this thread that people were saying or even implying that you had to have a lot of money to own a horse. I had NO money when I was in college and supported a horse in Los Angeles. I lived at home, worked at Target 6 hours a week, went to UCLA, and worked with horses to pay my board (cleaning stalls, feedin the entire barn every Sunday night, grooming, braiding, whatever). I boarded at a co-op barn for $125/month, and my horse got as much hay as he needed. So it can be done, even in a big city.

[Seven]

Erin has before asked us not to “play moderator” for her, meaning that the moderators can be trusted to make the decisions on what threads should remain open, and I think that we should respect that.

Personally, I think that when BBer’s are done expressing themselves and trying to understand the situation, then the thread will die on it’s own as so many others have done. For example, consider, the “Bush Opens a Can of Whoop a$$” thread, which I personally couldn’t take so I stopped reading at about page 8 or so. It continued on for something like 20 pages, but I didn’t find the conversation helpful, so I didn’t read it. For those who don’t find this thread helpful, perhaps the answer is not to read it?

Now I have some questions about the situation.

Is anyone looking into the continued ownership of the pony? I know that the neighbors reported his condition to be good but has anyone asked whether she might not want to keep the pony any longer? I know she’s probably pretty upset now (as she should be) and has a long road ahead of her, maybe she’s not up for the added burden and reminders of pony care (particularly as winter approaches)? I would have asked this question privately but I’m not sure to whom it should be directed.

These thoughts lead me to the next question, which is, assuming MJ does NOT seek counseling (she has to want help as much as we want her to get it, and even in her last post, I didn’t see any evidence of that), does anyone think that her future Ohio employer should be notified of this situation? I’m NOT asking this question to be mean, and I’m not sure I think it’s anyone’s place HERE to offer the new employer that information, but perhaps someone closer to the her (like her parents, if they see this thread) should maybe be forthcoming to this unsuspecting employer? I’ll probably get flamed for this but it’s just something that I thought might be worth considering.

=^+^=

[hobson]

Hobson, Rex and I send condolences.

[suzy]

Thanks for having the guts to say what I was thinking. It’s interesting if you look back through the posts and read Musical Jumper’s posts. In spite of the terrible thrashing she has taken here, she has chosen to take the high road and state the facts (as she knows them from her vet) without retaliating against anyone. Good for you, MJ.

[headsup]

The only thing I will add to this is that not everyone can see the “actual” condition of their horse. Case in point: a students mother drives up the barn driveway one day and tells me there is a horse loose on the road. I get halter and lead and jump in car. Pony was so emaciated that it actually, with no exaggeration looked like a skeleton with skin. No owners in sight. We called all of the rescue farms within 3 hrs…none open on Sundays. Owners apparently drove around looking for pony, see her in my arena. Ask us to help them bring her back to farm. I declined and questioned her politely about the mare’s condition. Owners thought she looked fine, after all they gave her 1 flake a day and water, that was all she needed right? After picking up my jaw off the ground I tried to explain a “better” feeding for her. I even showed her my horses as examples. She thought I was insane, 1 flake and water is clearly enough…or she would be dead already…I told the woman I was calling in her neglect and I took pictures. To date, only one horse rescue ever returned my calls and they said I had to get animal control/humane society out first. Both came and looked at my pictures before “bothering” the owners. They were unconcerned…if I scanned the pictures I think some of you might pass out, I myself almost threw up looking at her I was so upset. At any rate, my point is that if people don’t KNOW they won’t do anything. I’m not defending anyone, but I sure have seen that if she was that ignorant…she sure isn’t the only one.

[coco]

“Kryswyn” and “Emily A” hit the nail on the head.

In my experience, the abuser is protected and excused by all around them – and the victim is knowingly sacrificed in order to keep the peace.

I think this “peacekeeping” somehow relieves those who bear witness to “the horror” any responsibility to take action against their friend/family member/client/etc.

No one wants to be accused of being an “accessory” to the obvious/sometimes not-so-obvious-but-suspicious crime.

Another symptom of MBP is that many are nurses (as was my mother) and have medical knowledge (Didn’t someone mention that M-J was VERY well read regarding caretaking of horses). She seemed highly intelligent to me…tbat she knew EXACTLY what she was doing.

The other frequent symptom is television soap opera addiction. Many soap operas revolve storylines around hospitals and high drama. The person with MBP then seeks this kind of high drama in their own life…they want life and death scenarios (and doctors!) in their lives.

And as has been said, they crave attention, sympathy and kind words from others.

My mother never got help (although her last words to me before she died were “I’m sorry”) and I blame in part all those around her who protected her, went along with her, afraid to rock the boat.

As I got older I contronted my mother on a few occasions but she was very powerful within the family/friends circle…she had “been through so much”. Yes, the context was always MY MOTHER had been through so much, rather than me the victim of her MBP.

M-J will probably never get help…in my opinion however, to paraphrase Bush, “you are either against her or you are with the animal abusers”.

For goodness sakes people, when you sense things are not right, rock the f—ing boat!!! Or face the blood on YOUR hands. Once you witness it, it’s too late to look away…you ARE involved!!!

[Musical_Jumper]

ok, back injune on my birthday i was bought tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert… ive waited for this all this time…but the concert is tomarrow and i dont feel right going out and having a good night out after having to bury my dear Seger…

should i go ??? is it right ??? i mean, i know i cant grieve forever… but we will bury him tonight and then i will have to leave to stay at my aunt’s house so i can get up early and run to town to get our hair done before the concert… im just questioning if its right to go…

Musical_Jumper

“Event riders leave no ring unrode, no jump over turned, and no ditch filled in.”

“Your competition just got better today, did you…”

http://accopmanyme.tripod.com/tiffanyswebwonderland/ ~~ Come check out my site!!

[FairWeather]

I have tears in my eyes from reading this.
I’m very sorry for Your loss.
I hope MJ gets the help she needs.

Always,
FairWeather
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. - Jack Handy

http://www.fairweather.bizland.com/entrance.html

[gwen]

Oh goodness!!! Sounds like you are having a bad week too!! I hope everything worked out ok and that you are safe!!! It is so true…teenagers now a days know alot more than I did at that age!

Barb

[Musical_Jumper]

thanks

Musical_Jumper

“I’m sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest”

http://accopmanyme.tripod.com/tiffanyswebwonderland/ ~~ Come check out my site!!

[Kcorseinop]

And that is? IMO it’s not, but this is my opinion. Just because it’s different from everyone else’s does NOT mean it’s wrong. But thanks for telling me it was, I appreciate that…

[JustJump]

good posts–good points.

Laz–you have voiced my greatest fear–none of us would like to hear of that, and I fail to see why some are so willing to keep at it when it is obvious that:

-this PARTICULAR 16yo girs certainly has many “issues” that prevented her from seeing what was happening or doing anything about it. This PARTICULAR child was in over her head in a situation that many others her age could have handled.

-this PARTICULAR family is so dysfunctional that something so serious hadn’t enough priority for them to do anything about it.

-this PARTICULAR horse, is only one of many suffering creatures in this world full of injustice, cruelty, poverty and many other inexplicable bad things. Suffering is all around us, and there are many who suffer silently without asking for help, others who ask and for some reason can’t act on the advice they get…for instance, battered women who constantly receive good advice to get out, but instead end up as murder victims because they can’t act. Sometimes it takes a powerful intervention to make a difference; such an intervention was not forthcoming in this case.

–Sometimes the people in closest proximity are the LAST to realize that a facade was completely false.

–Many of us had a bad feeling about this all along, particularly those of us who followed most of MJ’s posts…but realistically, there was nothing any of us could do, other than supply the child with good advice. Too bad no one closer to the situation saw the posts / got that same bad feeling / checked on the situation till it was too late.

[system]

the vet di have certain responsibilities, in my opinion. But he had no legal right to remove the horse. He could have reported the state of the horse to the correct authorities; he could have talked to the parents.

My greatest fear, after reading the saga of Seger, is that this girl will end up with another horse. Especially if noone tells the parents flast out that the horse was mismanaged. I forsee the parents buying another horse for her out of sympathy…“poor M_J, the horse was sick, it wasn’t her fault…”

[HeyYouNags]

I’d like to know what the vet’s diagnosis was.

Plus, perhaps MJ could share with us what she’s learned from this tragedy? Maybe some recommendations to keep the same thing from happening to another horse?

[dublin]

I do hope that MJ gets the counselling she obviously needs.

I am still almost physically ill that “mistakes” as Suzy puts it led to this poor horse’s death. And sorry, I don’t view the concern and shock felt by a number of posters as a “witch hunt”…

“Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.” - Dennis Miller
UCLA football RULES…Undefeated and #3 in the nation, baby!!