Sort of delicate situation

[SillyHorse]

Tuesday morning my trainer sent a group email to all 35 boarders that “Santa” had left something for each horse at its stall. When I got to the barn yesterday and walked down the aisle, I saw cute little Christmasy bags, stapled shut, with “To [horse’s name] from Santa” written on each one. A few stalls didn’t have bags, and I assumed that the boarders had been there Tuesday afternoon (I had not) or earlier in the day Wednesday. I am also assuming that the bags contain treats for the horses, but I don’t know what is in them.

I came to my horse’s stall and there was no bag. Again, probably horse treats, so no big deal. I am 100% sure this was not intentional, and I wasn’t going to say anything.

Here’s my potential dilemma:

I have a lesson this afternoon and while I don’t know for sure that she will ask, she might ask whether my horse (whom she adores) enjoyed his gift. I don’t want to lie to her and say he did, that situation being complicated by the fact that I really don’t know what is in the bags. But I don’t know how to say there was no bag from “Santa.” She will feel bad.

Again, I am 100% sure this was not intentional.

If she asks, and I’m hoping hard that she doesn’t, what do I say? Halp!

[endlessclimb]

Maybe make a joke of it and say horsey ate the bag before you could even see what was inside, so he LOVED it?

I for sure wouldn’t lie, if she asks specifics you’d have backed yourself into a corner stat.

[c0608524]

Is it possible that bags blew off stalls, or maybe a raccoon got in the barn and ripped some off?

If she asks, you can always play “stupid”, pretend you didn’t see the email (easy to happen this time of year - “oh I must have missed the email! I haven’t looked too closely at my inbox over the holidays”) and then tell her you didn’t see anything on your stall door.

I would find it worse if she didn’t ask about it. How do you thank her for a gift that you didn’t receive?

[endlessclimb]

@c0608524

If she asks, you can always play “stupid”, pretend you didn’t see the email (easy to happen this time of year - “oh I must have missed the email! I haven’t looked too closely at my inbox over the holidays”) and then tell her you didn’t see anything on your stall door.

I like this better than my suggestion. A little white lie about not seeing the email to get to the truth of nothing on the stall door.

[beowulf]

I think this is a good kind of delicate situation to have and it honestly sounds like a holiday oversight (if a raccoon or rat didn’t carry it off)! Either suggestions mentioned above seem fine to me. If it were me I’d just be forthright if she asked; Dobbin didn’t have anything on his stall, but you didn’t want to worry her and figured it was a mixup, NBD. Not like Dobbin’s counting treats and knows he’s missing out.

[luvmyhackney]

I guess I’m way more direct than folks.

Dobbins didn’t have anything on his door. I’m assuming wind or it fell off. No big deal, I’m sure whatever was in the bag was lovely.

[SillyHorse]

@beowulf

if a raccoon or rat didn’t carry it off

No raccoons, no rats. Other bags of treats have been in his stall basket for weeks with no issues.

[Luseride]

Be honest and say there was nothing there. I have thought I did something for a rider or boarder but am not positive so will often ask if I gave them XYZ.

[beowulf]

Gotcha. I hope you get to the bottom of Dobbin’s mystery treat disappearance.

I kept my horse at a co-op arrangement years ago. His grooming tote lived on his stall hook. Kept noticing my dang hoof pick would wander off - now who on earth would do that? Started getting annoyed at finding it in random places around the barn. No one fessed up, and I did ask around. I don’t even care if it gets used as long as it gets put back. Finally hit my limit and tied the dang thing up with baling twine so that it had to be unclipped from the grooming tote to use. One day pulled in to see the BO’s JRT all bundled up and happy as a clam to see me, dragging my grooming tote around with the hoofpick in his mouth. Case solved!!

[SillyHorse]

[RhythmNCruise]

If it were me, and I’d accidentally forgotten to give someone a gift, I would want them to tell me. I’d feel bad if they DIDN’T tell me, honestly. But I’m weird like that, I guess.

I accidentally put the wrong gift bag in my barn manager’s truck the other day. It was for another boarder. He put the bag in her feed room and came and asked me if that’s what I had intended. It wasn’t! I had intended to leave HIS gift in his truck. I was so glad he told me so that I could quickly grab the correct gift from the back of my car and give it to him.

If she asks about your horse’s enjoyment, be honest. Not blunt or rude kind of honest, but nice honest. Let her know it’s no problem at all, but that you didn’t see a bag of goodies on his stall.

If you’re friendly enough with her, she shouldn’t mind you directly mentioning or asking why Dobbin didn’t get goodies from Santa. Will she feel bad that she skipped you/your horse? A little. But people make mistakes all the time. She’ll probably be happy that you felt comfortable enough to say something about it. Especially if it’s in a joking, no-big-deal, way.

[SillyHorse]

@RhythmNCruise

If it were me, and I’d accidentally forgotten to give someone a gift, I would want them to tell me. I’d feel bad if they DIDN’T tell me, honestly. But I’m weird like that, I guess.

I don’t think that’s weird, because I feel the same way. In fact, I made little ornaments for everyone and hung them on the stalls. When I came back two days later, I saw that two stalls were missing the ornaments. I was certain that I had hung one on every stall, but I would have felt terrible if I had in fact missed these two. I asked both boarders whether they’d gotten them; both said they had taken them home and meant to tell me, but forgot. Whew!

[RMJacobs]

I agree with being honest about not receiving it. Sure, it’s awkward, but I think telling a white lie is even more awkward.

Rebecca

[NaturallyHappy]

@RMJacobs

I agree with being honest about not receiving it. Sure, it’s awkward, but I think telling a white lie is even more awkward.

Especially if you get caught!

[mmeqcenter]

I guess I boarded at some shady places, because my immediate thought was another boarder stole it.

If asked, I wouldn’t hesitate to say you didn’t find a gift on your stall. It doesn’t have to be awkward, it’s just what happened.

[GraceLikeRain]

“There wasn’t one on my stall”. That’s it. That simple. No attitude. Just a neutral observation.

[CanteringCarrot]

@mmeqcenter

If asked, I wouldn’t hesitate to say you didn’t find a gift on your stall. It doesn’t have to be awkward, it’s just what happened.

Exactly this.

[frugalannie]

One year a boarder made very cute decorations and put them on each stall. By the next morning we found that several horses had greatly enjoyed their new chew toys!

[LCDR]

Don’t claim you didn’t see or read the email. If it was for some reason sent from a school of business account the read receipt feature might be active. Then you will be snared in a web of little white lies.

[Scribbler]

If she asks I would just say, I didn’t see anything, where did you put it? No mention of email.

If she doesn’t ask I absolutely would not care, but might make a mental reservation to lock my gear up better if someone is getting loose fingered at your barn.