SPIN OFF of Discipline thread. FUNNY suggestions!

[anon40672407]

Just saw on Facebook today a screed about “never hit a horse on the head” with the old saw about, “If your horse rears, carry a water balloon (or an egg) when you ride, and when they rear, smack them on the poll with the water balloon/egg: they will think it is blood and never rear again.” and of course I’m thinking “I’m going to do a whole ride with a raw egg in my hand, just in case?”

Similar to the old saw: “If your horse is a biter, carry a hot potato and when they reach to you to bite, shove the potato in their mouth! They’ll never bite again!” And the corollary thought: “How does one keep a potato hot for the 2.5 hours I’m at the barn each day?”

What other funny suggestions have you heard about dealing with horses that really don’t make any sense whatsoever?

[beowulf]

I’ve had all manner of peanut gallery stuff, but I think more recently one that really boggled the mind was someone saying on social media that kissing spine was caused by a defunct thoracic sling, and if you[g] paid some ~$100 in subscription fees to this one trainer, you[g] could fix KS with proprietary exercises. I think I mentioned it in another thread but, yeah.

[chestnutmarebeware]

Years ago I boarded with a woman who had come to horses as an older adult. She ended up with an absolute saint of a horse that was perfect for her, but when he did something wrong (like knock a brush off the tack trunk), her idea of “discipline” was to stand in front of him, point her finger at him, and sternly explain for several minutes why his behavior was wrong and should be changed immediately.

It was hilarious to watch (and it was very hard not to actually laugh out loud), and her saintly horse would stand there blinking mildly and bobbing his head like he agreed with her. With any other horse, this could have been a big problem, but those two were like an old married couple.

[Spudsmyguy]

I was ponying my young horse out on the trails along with a friend. Young horse had a habit of running alongside my riding horse instead of staying behind where she belonged. On the off chance she did stay in place, my friend said I needed to say “good girl” as though the ponied horse would know what it meant and that it was meant for her and not the horse I was mounted on. Eventually she learned where her place was and you could pony her anywhere.

If your saddle doesn’t fit to the point of the gullet resting on the horse’s withers and the horse objects, send the horse to a trainer.

[2DogsFarm]

At the 4H barn DH & I (English Outliers) boarded they subscribed to the Tie 'Em High To the Stall Wall theory.
I asked one 4H Mom why they did that.
Her clueless reply:
“So he’ll know what he did wrong, and think about it”
Yes, I later learned it was meant to teach patience bring tied, with the “benefit” of a lower headset when untied.
But her answer made me

@chestnutmarebeware At a Dressage show I watched as a woman, whose test had probably gone badly, put her horse in crossties, smack horse across the chest with her whip & proclaim “You shamed me!”
WTF?

[Displaced_Yankee]

“Hold up his foot so I can clip his opposite leg”

I’m sorry…if he decides he is leaving…then no holding of his foot will keep him there.
(Similar to me waiting tables and being told to “stop that drunk guy” who just started a bar fight. Oh, ok)

I’ve heard the egg/rearing one. Also, a glass of water or open water bottle and when they rear pour it on their poll. Same idea. I’m just not that coordinated on a rearing horse I guess?

[Small_Change]

@Displaced_Yankee

“Hold up his foot so I can clip his opposite leg”

I’m sorry…if he decides he is leaving …then no holding of his foot will keep him there.
(Similar to me waiting tables and being told to “stop that drunk guy” who just started a bar fight. Oh, ok)

If they’re just mildly fussing, this does work really nicely to keep weight on the leg that needs to be clipped, and allow them to figure out that you’re not asking them to pick up that leg when you touch it to clip. Similar to pulling the tail towards you to get them to weight a hind leg when they fuss during clipping, it just helps them understand what you need them to do. If they’re pitching a royal fit, then no, it isn’t going to help at all.

[Fiesta01]

@anon40672407

“If your horse is a biter, carry a hot potato and when they reach to you to bite, shove the potato in their mouth! They’ll never bite again!”

Hey, I read that in Son of the Black Stallion. It must be true!

[shiloh]

I used to board with a woman that thought she could all evils in horses and create good manners simply by llloooovvvveeee. Her horses were asshats. Surprise.

The woman that used dog commands on her horses without teaching them the commands first and what the were for. So she would stand in front of this poor frustrated horse and not speak and make finger wiggles and hand gestures.

Or the idiot that decided she was a trainer and bought several weanlings and yearlings and wow. Her idea was to beat the living shit out of them for literally no reason. And would not stop until pulled off by other riders. The babies all learned to kick and bite when they saw anyone coming. Lovely. Just what I want. Not.

[anon40672407]

@Fiesta01

Hey, I read that in Son of the Black Stallion. It must be true!

Is THAT where it came from? I only remembered the crazy, not the source.

Now, think on: they didn’t even have microwaves when that book was written, so they had to actually BAKE that baked potato.

[Fiesta01]

Oops. Just looked it up. It was in The Black Stallion’s Filly. The filly named Minx was the biter, not Satan, the colt from the other book.

[StormyDay]

@anon40672407

Just saw on Facebook today a screed about “never hit a horse on the head” with the old saw about, “If your horse rears, carry a water balloon (or an egg) when you ride, and when they rear, smack them on the poll with the water balloon/egg: they will think it is blood and never rear again.” and of course I’m thinking “I’m going to do a whole ride with a raw egg in my hand, just in case?”

Similar to the old saw: “If your horse is a biter, carry a hot potato and when they reach to you to bite, shove the potato in their mouth! They’ll never bite again!” And the corollary thought: “How does one keep a potato hot for the 2.5 hours I’m at the barn each day?”

What other funny suggestions have you heard about dealing with horses that really don’t make any sense whatsoever?

I’ve heard the egg one. I’ve always wondered if it worked, but I’ve never had a chronic rearer. It seems to me it’s more to be used in cases where the horse starts reading pretty much immediately after mounting.

A spin-off of the potato one, a guy once told me that if a horse went to bite you to punch it in the nose as it tries to bite. I asked him if he meant sharks. He said nope, works every time.
I have not tried it.

[sweetsalute]

@Spudsmyguy

If your saddle doesn’t fit to the point of the gullet resting on the horse’s withers and the horse objects, send the horse to a trainer.

Boy I’d hope no one would do that knowing the saddle was on the withers! I actually didn’t realise that had happened with my baby till I ended one ride in tears after she had obviously had enough and just started saying no way by running backwards…in retrospect, as far as reactions go, that was pretty tame! As soon as I realised I felt terrible and immediately booked the saddle fitter and bodywork.

I had someone tell me to just coax the horse onto the trailer with carrots…yeah that aint gonna work when the trailer is causing a massive meltdown!

[Paint_Party]

Since like, forever, when I’m trail riding I’ve come across riders who apparently believe that if their horse spooks, shies or balks, the way to correct the horse and discipline it is to spin it around, boot it with several swift kicks and/or rip on its mouth. There! That’ll teach it!

[Spudsmyguy]

deleted, already responded to.

I’ve tried to explain to people regarding the egg over the head thing, that the horse thinks its brains are coming out that horses don’t process information that way. They don’t think their brains are leaking or their head is fractured, all they know is that they reared and something was crashed on top of their head. That’s it. But, people are stupid and will still believe the horse thinks his brains are coming out.

[Spudsmyguy]

@sweetsalute

Boy I’d hope no one would do that knowing the saddle was on the withers!

I know someone who did. She was so stupid she had no idea that a saddle shouldn’t be setting on the horse’s withers. So after her nice, well broke gelding started acting out because of the pain, she thought he needed a trainer to set him right. I told her to get a saddle that fits him and you’ll have your nice horse back.

[TheBigEasy]

My husband said that if you blow in a horse’s nostril, he’ll remember you forever.

Yes. He blew in my horse’s nostril. My horse thought he was weird.

[PNWSunnyDay]

@TheBigEasy

My husband said that if you blow in a horse’s nostril, he’ll remember you forever

There’s one goofy gelding at the barn who absolutely adores this! Touch his muzzle, head, or neck? No way, too personal. Let him check what you ate for lunch? Perfection. He also will try to use you as a human salt lick. Silly boy.

[Jenerationx]

YES!!! He somehow strapped a hot potato to his arm and that’s where she happened to bite if I remember correctly. At the time as a kid, I thought this was genius.

@StormyDay

A spin-off of the potato one, a guy once told me that if a horse went to bite you to punch it in the nose as it tries to bite. I asked him if he meant sharks. He said nope, works every time.
I have not tried it.

I have done that. Gelding would snake his neck around and try to nail you while you tightened the girth so you had both hands occupied. I had another boarder grab the girth and nailed him in the nose as he tried to nail me. He never tried that with me again. Everyone else was fair game though. ETA: I tried every other method I could think of but after dodging him or getting grazed several times, I was done with that crap.

I had a woman tell me that if you reach back and grab a bucking horse’s tail, it’ll stop. WHAT??? I asked if she had any video of this or a trainer that teaches this… nada. Does anyone think they could do this on a bucking horse?

[Fiesta01]

Well, if I were lucky, I might be able to grab the tail as I sailed over the butt to the ground. And at that point, the horse would probably stop bucking. So, I guess it could be true.